A Winter Affair

by Minna Howard

  She would, Eloise thought, wondering if she’d appear with a whole hamper of festive goodies.

  ‘We Brits are an odd race,’ Lawrence went on, ‘we love to travel, but we don’t like so-called foreign food and prefer to take our own. You should see the laden cars of some the Brits coming here who self-cater, bringing marmite, cereals, even Cadbury’s chocolate when Switzerland is the home of chocolate.’

  ‘And yet your guests seem to expect the highest quality of food, not just spag bol and sausages,’ she said.

  ‘But they are different. They have money to spare and are used to eating in all the top restaurants throughout the world.’ Lawrence took another biscuit before making for the door. ‘See you later.’ He lifted his mug to them in a salute and both women listened to him going along the passage and down the stairs to his office.

  Half an hour later Saskia rang. ‘Can we meet up, Eloise? I’m not skiing today and Quinn is playing bridge with his mates and I want to catch up with all your news.’

  ‘I’d love it, but I’ve got the Christmas puddings cooking,’ Eloise explained.

  Saskia laughed, ‘But surely you buy them? They take forever, don’t they?’

  ‘Yes, but I think they’re worth it. I suppose I could leave them for a little while, if I don’t go too far away. I’d love to see you.’ Eloise felt a sudden fondness towards her, longing to see someone familiar even though they hadn’t seen each other for years.

  ‘Let’s meet at Carrefour, have a drink and a quick lunch, or do you have to make lunch for everyone?’ Saskia asked.

  ‘No, I just cook the dinner.’

  ‘Great. Meet you there in about half an hour, then,’ Saskia said.

  Making sure the puddings had enough water to stop them drying out for a few more hours and asking Vera if she could check on them, Eloise put on her snow boots and ski jacket and set off. She said nothing to Lawrence, not wanting to disturb him in his office, and after all she was free to make her own decisions over planning her cooking and going out.

  Carrefour was a restaurant perched at the top of the Rouge, a slope for beginners, and a welcome stop for skiers coming down from some of the main runs after a day’s skiing. Saskia was already there when Eloise arrived. They ordered a croque monsieur and a glass of wine and Saskia began at once to quiz her about how her life had panned out since they’d last seen each other.

  ‘You and Harvey always seemed so happy, together,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry it ended in divorce.’

  Eloise wanted to put their divorce behind her and not keep resurrecting the pain, prodding the wound by retelling the story, but it would sit between them, so it was better to tell Saskia and hope that would be the end of it.

  ‘I suppose everyone but me knew he was sleeping around. I guessed it, especially when he was away on business, but I loved him and he was always loving to me and, more importantly, I wanted to give the twins a secure upbringing.’

  ‘Did he go off with someone else then?’ Saskia asked.

  ‘He said he had someone, but now I can think more rationally about it, I suspect he couldn’t bear to be stuck with me in the “empty nest” once the twins left.’ Her eyes glazed with tears.

  That day would remain with her forever, Harvey, recently back from a trip, explaining that he felt trapped, wanted to fly free, his face taut with injustice, making her feel she had imprisoned him against his will.

  She must fly free herself but talking about it pulled her back into the misery of it instead of propelling her forward into a new life.

  Saskia squeezed her hand. ‘Going through a divorce is hell, even if you hate your partner,’ she said, ‘you sort of hope you can somehow switch on the magic the relationship once had, all that love gone in a puff of smoke.’ She clicked her fingers.

  ‘It’s true. I was so shattered by his announcement. I knew he was unfaithful, played around when he went on his trips to holiday resorts, but somehow I never thought he’d leave. He went almost at once, as if he had a taxi ticking by outside.’ She tried to joke. ‘Then the divorce papers arrived and I came to my senses. Although I still loved him, I accepted that the marriage was over and I must let him go. We met up to discuss selling the house but we were like two strangers,’ she shrugged, ‘who didn’t even speak the same language. We never really said goodbye, just packed up our marriage and walked away. Perhaps if we had talked it through, it would be easier to come to terms with now.’ She stared out of the window at the slope beside her, watching a class of children struggling down.

  ‘And horrid for you losing the twins as well, not that you really have lost them of course, but them going off on their gap year is hard, especially over Christmas,’ Saskia said.

  ‘They’d been planning it for ages and everything was set up. They’re going to uni next year, so they couldn’t put it off, though they did suggest they would if I needed them to stay with me.’ Eloise remembered their crestfallen faces at the thought of cancelling their plans, and yet they were decent enough to suggest that they would stay behind with her, and she knew that if she’d wanted them to, they would have done so, but she wouldn’t ask it of them. Hard though it was, she’d get on without them, without Harvey.

  ‘Well, you’re here now, and if they were still at home and you were still married you couldn’t do this job,’ Saskia said cheerfully. ‘Are you happy here? Not that you’ve been out here for long.’ She studied Eloise’s face intently as if to winkle out any distress.

  ‘It was all a bit sudden and I worry that Lawrence will not think me a good enough cook, or rather chef,’ she emphasized the word with an ironic grin, ‘for his discerning guests. I’m here under false pretences, you see.’ Eloise told her about Desmond’s misplaced pride in her cordon bleu credentials. ‘I’m cooking the sort of food I do when friends come to dinner and I had no complaints from them, but then they weren’t paying for it. Lawrence is running a business.’

  ‘I’m sure he’d tell you if he wants any changes. That dinner you cooked the other night was delicious,’ Saskia said. ‘You’ll be fine and if you weren’t he’d have packed you off already, raided Aurelia’s dreadful delights,’ she laughed. ‘It was jolly mean of Denise, letting him down like that. She was nice though; we skied together sometimes. She told me she was getting tired of cooking, so I suppose she saw her chance and grabbed it. Tough luck if she finds he’s one of those mega-rich men who have miserly habits.’

  ‘Tell me about you and Quinn.’ Apart from being curious Eloise wanted to steer Saskia away from her problems. ‘I’ve sometimes read his articles, though it was a bit scary cooking for such a prestigious food expert,’ she finished.

  ‘I wouldn’t worry, he has to eat my cooking and he doesn’t grumble, not often anyway. It’s restaurants he writes about and some of those chefs can be so bumptious he can’t resist putting them down.’ Saskia smiled, pouring them more wine. ‘Well, my marriage didn’t work out either. I suppose Toby and I did fall in love, but when you’re young you confuse sexual desire with true, lasting love. We had the children and life was busy, but we somehow didn’t fit together. I found Toby lazy – no not exactly lazy that’s unfair, but apathetic, too laid-back. He had a job in a mediocre firm and just trundled along with no ambition, and though he wasn’t unkind or anything like that, he treated me as just someone who was always there, like a piece of familiar furniture. So I had an affair.’ She looked ashamed of herself and Eloise felt a grab of pain in her stomach. Had she had an affair with Harvey?

  There was a silence between them a moment. Eloise fidgeted on the edge of her chair waiting for Saskia to confess that she’d slept with Harvey, before deciding it better to know the worst and get it out of the way.

  ‘Who did you have an affair with, was it Harvey?’

  Saskia started as if she’d been stung, ‘Oh no… whatever made you say that?’ She fiddled with the stem of her wine glass as if she was moulding it into something. ‘No, it was someone else, someone I met on holiday. It didn’t last lo
ng, a few months, and our marriage limped on a bit, but then Toby met someone and we divorced, an amicable divorce,’ she shrugged. ‘I’ve always thought that a silly description, if it’s amicable you can surely keep going, at least until the children grow up.’

  Eloise wondered if she believed Saskia’s denial or not. Once she and Harvey had divorced, various ‘kind’ friends had told her he’d slept with several women they knew. None of them confessed to being one of them themselves, but she found it difficult to trust them. She didn’t want to feel the same way about Saskia, she was her only friend out here and she was glad they had met up again; they’d always got on well before.

  Harvey was like a butterfly, she’d realized after the divorce, alighting for a moment on a flower and then having had his fill flying away to the next one. Life was all about him, and any woman who expected his full commitment would be disappointed. Thinking like this wasn’t helping her to move on, Eloise told herself, she should try and remember the good times. And of course, she had her children and that was the greatest gift of all. She became aware that Saskia was scrutinizing her.

  ‘You think I went to bed with Harvey, don’t you?’

  ‘No… well, not really,’ she admitted, ‘but I do wonder about all the attractive women we knew, after all he was so good-looking and made women feel so desirable. I would have probably succumbed to him myself if I hadn’t married him,’ she said in a rush.

  ‘Well I didn’t. He did try it on once, but I told him off and walked away, though I was tempted,’ she blushed. ‘Perhaps it was a good thing we moved to the country, kept out of harm’s way. Anyway I’ve made it a rule that I’ve never broken – never to sleep with a friend’s man. Good friends are far more important than a quick fling.’ She smiled.

  ‘That’s true.’ Eloise felt relieved. ‘So how did you meet Quinn?’

  ‘Through a job I had, working for his publisher. He’d just broken up with someone and was lonely. I know there’s quite an age difference between us, but he’s kind and dependable and nearly always at home, writing his reviews. He lives in lovely places; he has the chalet here, a villa in the South of France and a flat in London, so we move around, though we don’t often go to London, and he can afford people to help in the house.’ She smiled, ‘Call me money-grabbing if you like, many people do, and I suppose I am but, like Denise, I saw my chance and took it. I love him in my way and we look after each other. I was tired of being alone, having affairs that meant nothing, and I felt so lonely when the children left.’

  ‘I understand.’ Eloise wondered if she would do the same if she met some kind older man who showed an interest in her.

  ‘It’s the loneliness that gets you in the end,’ Saskia said, ‘having no one to come home to, don’t you find that?’

  ‘Perhaps, but I haven’t been alone that long. We divorced eight months ago and I was busy moving house and Kit and Lizzie were still around, and now… I’m here,’ Eloise said.

  Saskia smiled, ‘And you’ll have a great time. I’ll give a party, introduce you to people, quite a lot of fun people live out here, for the season anyway.’

  ‘I’ve only been here a couple of days and I’ve already met quite a few people, you and Quinn of course, Theo, Lawrence, Vera, and not forgetting Bert… and Aurelia.’ She was about to tell her about the cake scene when Saskia went on.

  ‘Oh, Aurelia,’ Saskia frowned, ‘she’s after Lawrence or Jacaranda, or both I suppose, for she won’t get the chalet without him.’

  Nine

  The following day Eloise was free to go skiing. She’d cooked a hearty breakfast, got in enough food for dinner and now there was no more to do until the evening, although she needed to quickly drop in on Lawrence.

  The previous day the guests had come back around teatime. They praised her lemon drizzle cake – though they ate it guiltily as if it were illegal, the women taking minuscule slices – ‘because you’ve gone to so much trouble to make it,’ Celia, one of the guests remarked, though not before helping herself to another sliver. They found Aurelia’s cake too cloying, though one of the men enjoyed a hefty piece and would have gone back for more if his wife had not forbidden it, saying it would more than treble his sugar intake for the week.

  ‘Don’t worry about making cakes for us,’ Celia had told her, ‘we have a big lunch on the mountain and a good dinner here, we don’t need cake, and it’s far too tempting if it’s there.’ She eyed the lemon cake longingly.

  ‘If you’re sure,’ Eloise had said, wondering if the men agreed, but whether they did or not, the women decided that no one needed it.

  She wanted to mention the lack of a teatime cake to Lawrence, in case he thought it was because she couldn’t manage to bake any more, and if he told Aurelia she would think it gave her carte blanche to bombard them with her sugar-packed delights. Since Saskia had told her Aurelia was determined to get her hands on Lawrence and Jacaranda, she felt she needed to keep an eye out and guard Jacaranda – for Lawrence and Theo – though she was only here a few weeks and when she’d gone home Aurelia could pounce.

  She went downstairs to Lawrence’s office where the door was always open, as if he could not bear to be confined when outside the mountains called to him with their savage beauty.

  ‘No point in doing it if no one wants it,’ he said when she told him what the women had said about not baking cakes for them. He was looking slightly harassed, with papers strewn across his desk.

  ‘I want it.’ Theo was lounging on a chair by the window, staring longingly out at the slopes. ‘And you eat it, I’ve seen you, Dad,’ he added, eyeing Lawrence accusingly.

  Eloise had noticed too that if Lawrence were in the chalet at teatime he managed, on some pretext or another, to come into the kitchen and help himself to a slice of her lemon cake – or a shortbread biscuit.

  ‘Yes, well we don’t need it and Eloise has a lot of other things to do and must keep all her energy for when the guests arrive for Christmas,’ Lawrence said.

  She left them, thinking they were rather like chained beasts having to be inside when a wonderful outdoor world beckoned. It was sad that they couldn’t enjoy Verbier and Jacaranda, as it was when Maddy and Desmond were here.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll see there is cake or biscuits in the tin for you,’ she said to Theo when he followed her into the kitchen in search of a snack, reminding her of Kit who was always hungry. ‘Next week’s guests might want it, though there’s the Christmas cake and I’ll make mince pies.’

  ‘I think they’ll be a great pain, Dad’s stressing about them already, and Bert has to sleep in the basement, he’s not allowed upstairs in case they hate dogs,’ Theo grumbled.

  Lawrence who’d come up from the basement, and followed them into the kitchen, interjected, ‘Nonsense, Theo. Go and bring in some logs, we’re running low in the living room.’ He put his empty coffee mug in the sink, saying he’d see them all later.

  Theo slouched off to fetch the logs and Eloise waited until she heard the front door close behind Lawrence before going to put on her outdoor clothes, relieved to be going out.

  She drove the jeep up to Medran, parked and went into the ski shop to hire her boots and skis. She was meeting Saskia, and possibly Quinn, to spend a couple of hours skiing. It was such a relief to be in the open air and not cooped up in the kitchen, cooking. She enjoyed cooking, but the beauty of the mountains and the snow were too good to miss and before she knew it she’d be back home.

  She met up with Saskia and was relieved that Quinn did not come with them after all. She’d been dreading a lecture on how she could improve her culinary skills, though, to be fair, he might not have done that at all, just enjoyed his skiing.

  ‘Does Aurelia do her own cooking?’ she asked Saskia as they queued for the gondolier, not able to imagine her slaving away over a clutch of pans.

  ‘Goodness no. Rumour has it she keeps a group of poor immigrants and makes them cook, but I don’t think that’s true. Quinn is convinced she freez
es masses of dishes and whips them out when they are needed,’ Saskia joked as they moved forward to board the next gondola. It was quite full and reminded Eloise of being all squashed together in the Tube in rush hour, though here, of course, people were carrying skies and everyone was cheerful, looking forward to being on the slopes instead of at work.

  Saskia insisted that they do a short run on Lac des Vaux – the lake covered now with a thick blanket of snow – for her to get her ski legs before going higher to Mort Fort.

  It was a rather grey day, the sky heavy with more snow, and bitterly cold, but Eloise, who hadn’t skied for a while, was thrilled to be back on the slopes. There was a special magic about feeling the snow, like crunchy silk, under the skis, being among the beauty of nature, though much of the mountain was manicured to make more pistes for the thousands of skiers that came here each season.

  At the end of one run they caught up with some of Saskia’s friends, Paul and Katie Hammond, who also ran a chalet near the Rouge, though it was much lower key than Jacaranda, catering for families with young children. Katie had once been a chalet girl and she did the cooking, while Paul was a freelance ski instructor and wrote articles for various magazines.

  ‘Oh, aren’t you the cordon bleu chef that’s come to Lawrence’s rescue?’ Katie exclaimed, her face obscured by goggles and a hat like a woolly visor round her face.

  ‘Not exactly, but I’m hoping I’ll do.’ Lawrence had made a few remarks… suggestions he called them, about her cooking. Nothing too drastic, though she felt she was still on probation. But having remarked on it to Vera, she’d laughed, saying Christmas was so close now he’d find it impossible to find someone else at such short notice and if he hadn’t liked her she’d be gone already. Eloise still didn’t feel completely at ease, especially with Aurelia waiting in the wings.

  ‘The story went viral – Denise leaving like that,’ Katie said, ‘though she wouldn’t be the first one to chase after a millionaire. Many of us came here as chalet girls hoping to meet the right man, as I did,’ she giggled and snuggled up to Paul, who didn’t notice as he was busy talking to a man, incognito under his goggles like the rest of them. ‘It’s lucky you were able to drop everything and step in; I bet Lawrence is thrilled he found a new chef in time.’