Misfits

by Jen Calonita

  “My sister never would have found her happily-ever-after without Olivina,” Raina adds, staring at her sister’s portrait.

  “How so? She would have said no to the poison apple?” I ask somewhat jokingly.

  “No, silly!” says Raina. “Olivina was the one who suggested my brother-in-law, Prince Adam, try to rescue her with true love’s kiss.” She sighs. “It’s so romantic.”

  Sasha snorts. “An eternal coma is not romantic. Neither is being locked away in a tower waiting for a prince to rescue you.”

  “It’s all part of the process! You know that. All I know is I’m ready for my moment, whatever it is, and it starts with getting onto this week’s superlative list.” Raina poufs the sleeve of my candy confection of a dress. “We may even win the roommate award. We make a stunning threesome.”

  “That we do.” Sasha admires her updo in a mirror. “It took an hour to get my hair up under this tiara.”

  “Beauty can be a pain!” Milo chimes in. “But it’s well worth it when it creates a true vision like yourself.”

  “Thanks, Milo.” Sasha blows him an air-kiss.

  “Ladies! May I have your attention?”

  I notice a well-dressed elf in a gray satin gown, half our height but standing on a box. She doesn’t look happy. “Ladies?” she tries again, but her pip-squeak voice is drowned out by all the talking. Finally, she snaps her fingers, and a bullhorn appears in her hand. “Ladies!”

  Everyone jumps. “Thank you for your attention! I am Fairy Godmother Olivina’s EPA, Hazel Crooksen. In a few moments, you will be ushered through these doors and presented to the teaching staff as well as to your potential future princes. I expect you all to—”

  “Excuse me?” A princess with blue hair waves frantically. “What is an EPA?”

  Hazel’s mouth tightens. “Elf personal assistant. Now as I was saying…”

  “If you’re Olivina’s elf personal assistant, why aren’t you in the manual?” The girl pulls a well-worn copy of the pink book out of a hidden pocket in her gown.

  Hazel smiles thinly. “You wouldn’t find me in your manual. I work for Olivina, not the students at RA, so my inclusion or omission from that manual has no bearing on the instructions I’m about to give. May I continue?” The girl nods, her cheeks reddening. “As I was saying, you should present your best princess self to Olivina and your teachers. This is your First Knight Out, meaning it is also your opportunity to make a great first impression. So straighten those tiaras!” Everyone around me touches their head. “Chins up!” We lift our faces. “Skirts poufed!” The sound of crinoline swishing takes over the hallway. “And we are walking, walking, walking. Stop!” Hazel listens at the door. “Okay, the boys are done, and now it’s your turn. Smile!”

  “We should hold hands and present a united front,” Raina says as she watches the girls ahead of us proceed through the gold doors in a slow, two-by-two fashion. She frowns. “Hey! Why is Amber Arnold of Longtome going third? I’m higher ranked than her.”

  I glance at Sasha. “She probably got here earlier because she didn’t have a twenty-minute shoe debate that made her roommates almost tardy,” I say as we start to move forward.

  “It was a tough decision! Beige and off-white are two different colors,” Sasha points out.

  Raina is now clutching her chest, her face full of panic. “What if some worthy prince sees Amber before me and is smitten? What if my future rule comes down to this moment, and I’ve already blown it?” She begins to hyperventilate.

  I fan her with the wide sleeve of my dress. “It’s going to be fine.”

  “Chin up! Smile!” Hazel admonishes us as we walk into… Holy harpies.

  Now I see why my roommates were so worked up about shoes and line placement. First Knight Out is clearly a big deal. The ballroom of Royal Academy might be the most magnificent sight I’ve ever seen. The enormous room is lit entirely by clouds of glowing fireflies that float near the ceiling. Flowers crawl down the walls like ivy, while dozens of beautiful potted trees give the room the illusion of an enchanted forest. Just in case anyone forgot where they are, the RA insignia is stamped everywhere. Banquet tables line the walls, giving way to a large dance floor where a pied piper is playing the flute. Behind him, an entire band of musicians dressed in their best is serenading us as we walk in. Beyond the band, I can see the princes lining the walkway. They bow as we pass. Heathcliff winks at me, but Logan is too nervous to even make eye contact. He keeps dabbing his sweaty brow with a handkerchief. At least he made it to the ball. I give him a quick wave.

  Then it’s time for our last entrance step. Before we take our place along the edge of the dance floor, we curtsy to Snow, who is seated center stage and talking to a tall, reedy man in a deep-red velvet suit. To his left sit an elf, two fairies, and Princess Ella.

  “There’s my sister,” Sasha says, sounding slightly annoyed. Rose is blowing kisses and throwing, um, roses, to excited students. “Guess she wouldn’t miss her first chance to party.”

  “Where is Olivina?” I thought she’d be watching everyone make their first entrance.

  The band begins to play a waltz, and Raina frowns. “I don’t know. I thought we’d be announced before we were expected to find a boy and dance and…oh!” A young prince with bright-red hair holds out his hand to Raina. She giggles politely and nods.

  “Well, that’s one down and…oh.” I turn around and realize Sasha has been whisked away by a dark-skinned boy with the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. I can’t even catch her eye as he twirls her away like a professional. “That leaves me.”

  It’s okay. I’m not overly concerned with finding a dance partner. Instead, I move to the side of the room to watch the matchups and spy Logan sampling finger food. I start to make my way over to him, but stop when I see him walk away from the table and approach a princess I recognize. Oh fairy be, no. Clarissa? Don’t do it, Logan!

  Clarissa is wearing a gray gown with a skirt covered entirely in what seem to be peacock feathers, making her look like a rainbow. My eyes narrow. Those feathers better be fake.

  “May I have this dance?” I hear Logan say.

  Clarissa stops talking and looks at him, her lips curving into a slight frown. “Do I know you?”

  “Not yet,” Logan says shyly. “But one turn around the dance floor, and you won’t forget the name Logan Neder—”

  “I’ll pass,” Clarissa says flatly, and I hear a few girls giggle. I watch her attention turn toward Heath, who is standing against a wall looking at himself in a small mirror. Clarissa looks from Logan again to Heath, then frowns harder. Logan’s face plummets.

  Oh no, she didn’t! I move swiftly to his side and grab his hand. “Are you Logan Nederlander?” I ask. “The Logan from Wetherby who has four castles…one for each season?”

  “Er…yes?” he says unsurely.

  “Oh good! I was hoping to find you before someone snatched you up. Any chance you’d ask me to dance?” I try to do one of those airy giggles I hear the other girls doing. The girls are all watching us with wide eyes, and even Heath looks up, so I must have nailed it.

  “With pleasure!” Logan takes my hand, and within seconds, he’s twirling me so swiftly that the bottom of my dress flutters out like a parasol. He spins me left and right, clearing the dance floor as people stop to watch us, including Heath and a blond who has just draped herself on his shoulder. His mouth gapes. So does mine.

  “I didn’t expect you to know how to dance,” I say.

  Logan smiles mischievously. “I said I didn’t like dragons or physical activity. I didn’t say I couldn’t dance. Mother made me take lessons for the past five years.” He dips me. “I’ve gotten quite good.”

  “I’ll say.”

  Logan pulls me back up, then spins me out again. “Thanks for saving me back there.”

  I roll my eyes. “She’s not worth yo
ur time.”

  “I see that now,” Logan says midtwirl.

  “How’s your roommate situation?” I ask as the room whirls by me.

  We hold hands and spin around the perimeter of the floor. “I’m rooming with this guy Pierce Anderson. Comes from Hallockville. He brought a knife sharpener for his swords and has lifting equipment stored under his bed.” Logan gives me a hard look. “I have a feeling we’re going to be best mates.”

  I laugh. “Well, I’m with the sisters of the royal court.” He raises his right eyebrow. “One is deeply offended by all my fashion choices, and the other is obsessed with being the perfect—” We hear laughter and turn around.

  Raina twirls past us with her red-haired beau. “Oh, Linus, you are charming! What a delightful story about your castle’s goat farmer!”

  “Princess,” I finish as Raina spins away in a cloud of apple fragrance, which I remember is her family’s signature scent. “They’re not so bad though,” I say with a small smile.

  The music suddenly stops, and everyone turns to the banquet table where Princess Ella is ready to address the crowd. “Students, it is my honor and privilege to welcome you to the school the royal court and I called home for so long.”

  “Wait, she went here?” I hear someone whisper.

  “Yeah, after she ditched the Wicked Stepmother and won the prince,” someone replies.

  “Many of you think you know our stories,” continues Ella, “the ones involving poison apples, glass slippers, and ivory towers, but there is so much more to those tales than what you’ve been told, and much of that involves the ways Olivina and Royal Academy transformed our lives. Before I met my fairy godmother, I was a lonely girl in rags, but after…” She smiles. “Olivina helped me see the real me. Princesses aren’t princesses because they wear a crown. Princesses are princesses because they want to be leaders, game changers, and make a difference. I hope your time here helps you to grow in the same ways I did. Who will you be when you leave this school in four years? The answer is up to you”—she pauses—“and Olivina, of course.”

  The professors all laugh.

  “That’s for sure,” Logan mumbles, and I look at him. He looks around to make sure no one can hear us. “My brother, Archer, told me Olivina and the staff set you up so you wind up living the life they want you to live.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask as Ella starts telling a story about how Olivina came up with the glass slipper idea.

  “Archer had played knight since he was two,” Logan tells me. “We all thought he would lead a dragon rebellion someday, but then he came to RA and the knight talk disappeared. Suddenly, he wanted to spelunk for jewels and explore uncharted territories.” He makes a face. “He’d come home for family gatherings, and it would be all ‘Olivina thinks I should…and Olivina says I’m meant to…’” His eyes widen. “What if Olivina wants me to be a dragon slayer even though I want to—Achoo!—cook or run royal court meetings?”

  “She wouldn’t make you do something you didn’t want to do,” I say, but I feel suddenly unsure. “Maybe she just helped your brother see what he was really good at.”

  “He hates confined spaces,” Logan points out. “Why would he choose a career that put him in caves?”

  Before I can answer, Princess Ella makes her introduction. “So without further ado, I present our esteemed headmistress and legendary fairy godmother…Headmistress Olivina!” Ella motions to the ballroom doors. Two hundred bodies turn with her. The doors don’t open. “Presenting Olivina!” Princess Ella tries again. I notice Princess Snow and the man in the red velvet whispering with Ella. Suddenly, the doors burst open.

  EPA Hazel Crooksen comes running in wearing one shoe and a slashed-up skirt. “We’ve been breached!” she screams. “A flock of harpies has captured Headmistress Olivina, and they’re heading this way! Run!”

  Chapter 9

  Holy Harpies!

  Did Hazel say harpies?

  I don’t have to wait long for an answer. Seconds later, a flock of dark-gray creatures flies through the ballroom doors. A harpy snatches Hazel with its talons and flies off with her as princesses shriek in panic. Guests start stampeding in all directions, including the dance floor where Logan and I are standing.

  I know I should run, but I stand there wordlessly staring at the creatures flying above us. I’ve never seen a harpy before. They look different from their drawings in my books. For one thing, their skin is more wrinkled and weathered, and their black hair is stringy and matted to their warty faces. One spots me looking and comes swooping down in our direction.

  Logan yanks my arm, does a knee drop, and pulls me under a punch bowl table before I can even blink. “Harpies?” he shrieks, starting to sneeze as the sound of screaming grows louder. “Wow, am I allergic to harpies too?” A rogue glass slipper rolls under the table toward us.

  “We’re sitting ducks! We can’t stay under here.” I lift the tablecloth and watch the pandemonium. “We have to help them!” I look to Logan. He’s already crammed into a corner and is shaking.

  “I can’t!” he says. “I don’t even have a magic wand or a training sword yet. How did they get into the school? RA is supposed to be the safest place in Enchantasia! That’s why I wasn’t nervous about going here. Other than the potential dragon fights. But…harpies? I-I… Achoo!”

  “Help me!” I hear a familiar voice scream. I look under the tablecloth again and see Raina being carried off by a harpy. The two of us lock eyes. “Devin, get help!” she cries out.

  “One has my roommate,” I say, feeling desperate. “We have to help her.”

  “Harpies can’t be stopped!” Logan says. “You should know that. Haven’t you read about them in all your creature care books? We should just try to find a way to escape ourselves and then get help.”

  My creature care books! Logan is right. I must have read something about harpies. Think, Devin. Harpies… Oh, I know! “They can’t be killed,” I remember suddenly, “because they’re undead.”

  Logan looks like he’s going to pass out. “That’s, uh…not very helpful.”

  I try to remember more over the sound of all the shrieking. “They’re usually found on stormy and windy nights, they love trinkets and shiny things, and they hate music.”

  “But there isn’t a cloud in the sky tonight.” He points to one of the windows.

  He’s right. That’s weird. I know I don’t remember much, but I have to do something to help Raina. Maybe I can rationalize with them. “I can’t just sit here, and I’m not going to flee.” My heart starts to pound. “I’m going in. Wish me luck,” I say, and without hesitating, I slide out from under the table into the mayhem before Logan can stop me.

  There’s lots of running, screaming, and shrieking, but I try to focus. The first thing I notice is the professors are missing—whether they’ve been taken or ushered to safety, I’m not sure. There’s no sign of Hazel or Olivina either, but along one wall, I see several princes have overturned banquet tables. They’ve turned it into a miniature bunker and are now attempting to throw things at the harpies. They haven’t hit one yet. A few princes are even charging at the flying beasts with their swords. One of them is Heath. He spies me out in the open at the same time I see him and comes rushing toward me.

  “Come with me!” he shouts. “We have a guarded area where all the princesses are staying till this is over.” He points to a corner of the room where princesses are huddled under tables while princes stand guard. As we’re watching, a harpy flies down, picks up one of the princes, and carries him off.

  “Safely guarded, huh? I’ll take my chances on my own,” I say.

  Heath looks at me like I just said I have a giant for a first cousin. “Don’t be stubborn… Ahh!” A harpy swoops down and grabs Heath’s sword out of his hands. “That was an accident… No!” A second harpy reaches down and plucks him from right in front of me.


  “Heath!” I go charging after the harpy.

  What do I? What do I do?

  “Give it your jewelry!” someone shouts. I turn around and spot Logan sticking his head out from under the table.

  My jewelry… That’s it! They love shiny things! I rip off Sasha’s glittery silver bracelet and beckon the harpy closer. Then I pull off Raina’s pearl necklace and hold both in the air. “Here harpy, harpy, harpy!” I call out. The beast turns around, Heath’s ruffled dress shirt and jacket held tightly in its claws. “Want some jewelry?” It flaps its gigantic wings my way. “Want it?” I edge closer.

  “Devin, stay back! I’ve got this,” Heath says as he struggles to break free.

  I wave the pearl necklace higher. “It’s a nice, sparkly necklace,” I say. “And so is this bracelet. So which do you want? Shiny jewelry or smelly prince?”

  The harpy drops Heath to the floor and grabs the jewelry. Heath looks up at me in surprise.

  “You’re welcome,” I say and hold out my hand to help him up.

  Health takes my hand. “I had it covered.”

  The harpy flies off, squawking as it rejoins the rest of the beasts, which seem to be regrouping and heading toward the gathered princesses, including Raina. The princes are still trying to fend them off, but they won’t be able to much longer.

  “Stay away from them!” I shout without thinking, and a few harpies look our way. Oops. Heath and I start backing up. I should have made a plan first.

  “What do we do?” I ask Heath.

  “Now you ask me that? I don’t know!” he says, looking around for a weapon.

  “Devin, sing!” I hear Logan yell. At the sound of his voice, a harpy turns toward Logan. He quickly drops the banquet tablecloth again.

  Sing! “That’s right! They hate music,” I tell Heath. “If we sing, it might be enough to drive them to retreat.”

  “They closed the doors to the ballroom,” Heath points out. “If I can get them open, you can lead them out with song. Distract them for a minute while I try!” He winks at me as he runs off. “I can’t wait to hear your voice.”