Edge of Humanity (Only Human Book 5)

by Candace Blevins

  I sobered. “I’m a little upset with you for not warning me she was having trouble.”

  “She swore me to secrecy. I needed to keep her on my good side, so I’d be sure she told me when you contacted her.” A sigh. “In truth, I didn’t understand how bad it was until I picked her up on the way to the airport to get you. She hid most of it from me.”

  “In the near future, we’ll come to an agreement that’ll require me to alert you to anything you should know about in your Pride, and you to alert me to anything I should know regarding people I feel responsible for.”

  “No need to do it in the near future — I’ll agree to it now. Any question you should know, I’ll tell you, just to be safe. You’ll do the same. I’ll let my people know up front. You’ll do the same.”

  “Done. Should we have sex again, to seal the deal?”

  He laughed. “I don’t think we have time. That was a quickie, but I need you for hours the next time I’m inside you.” A pause, and he squeezed my hand a quick second — like a tiny hug. “Also, I think you need to be spanked.”

  “Yeah. I do.” I rolled up until I sat, and smoothly transitioned until I was standing. “Shower, before you keep talking and get me all hot and bothered again.”

  He stayed on the floor, looking up while I looked down at him.

  “I can feel the difference in your power levels.” He rolled up and stood beside me. A cat on two legs. “We’ll figure out what it means later, but you need to learn to hold your power in around other heavy hitters.”

  I came out of Nathan’s private bathroom in jeans and a t-shirt, with a camisole underneath because he hadn’t had bras on my shelf. Just clothes and panties.

  Aaron was sitting on Nathan’s sofa, alone. He inhaled and shook his head. “You didn’t spar.”

  “Depends on your definition of sparring.”

  “You need a crash course in how to hold your power in. I don’t want you around Abbott, Randall, or anyone else while you’re leaking power all over the place.” He ran his hand through his hair. “Not to mention our European friends.”

  I’d worried a little about Apollonius, too.

  “What does it feel like?” I asked. I still felt like me, but had creating a gateway altered my energy pattern?

  “It’s your energy, only stronger.” He breathed in, breathed out. “So fucking much stronger. Sit on the floor. However you’re comfortable.”

  I went into a lotus position. “I studied Taoism a little.” Okay, more than a little, but I didn’t want to make it sound like I was now a master. I didn’t really want to be called a master of anything, except maybe being a therapist, once I started working again.

  “I look forward to hearing about it. Imagine a bean in the location of each chakra. Or a walnut, or a small pinecone. I use a bean because of the imagery of the bean growing into a stalk — all the hidden potential. You can use whatever you want as long as it’s small and the symbolism works for you.”

  Energy potential. Nothing came to mind and I was about to use his bean imagery when my favorite cedar tree sprang into my vision. Cedar trees have little seed pods, so I used them. Lots of energy potential, and they grow into something way better than a beanstalk.

  “Okay.”

  “Draw all of the energy of each chakra in until it’s the size of your little symbolic whatever. As the energy pulls in, make sure your aura does the same. Everything shrinks. You have the same amount of power, but it’s compact, coiled. Nothing is constricted. The flow remains the same, but it’s hidden. It’s yours.”

  Seven chakras. Seven breaths. I opened my eyes and the room was clearer. The desk, the walls, Aaron. I was more focused. Less scattered.

  “Wow.”

  “That fast. Fuck me.”

  “Was it supposed to take longer?”

  “Yeah, Bug. Months. I was trying to figure out how to keep you away from everyone while you learned, especially since you need to see Lauren off personally.” He ran his hand through his hair. “You’ll have to remember to hold it. It takes a while for it to be instinct. Don’t sleep with anyone besides Nathan until we’re sure you hold it at night.”

  I started to protest, and he clarified, “Have sex with whoever you want, but don’t sleep over.”

  “Can I hold onto it during orgasm?”

  “Everything goes haywire when you orgasm. Nathan can work with you on that part.”

  “How’s Sophia? And the triplets?”

  “Wonderful. They’re in Faerie right now. She’ll be back in a few days and I know she’ll want to spend some time with you and Lauren before ya’ll leave.”

  “Thanks for looking out for Lauren.”

  “I meant what I said, and you know how the dragon feels about little hatchlings.”

  “Even if they were born instead of hatching?”

  “Yep.”

  “I feel more focused.”

  “As your energy is, so are you.”

  Right. Aaron had taught me that, and now he was reteaching it from another level.

  My instincts told me Aaron needed to know the biggest stuff that happened in China. “I made a gateway. I anchored another realm to this one, and created a gateway between. The Monkey King led me on a quest. I didn’t learn from one teacher, I learned from more than I can count.” I kept my voice super soft, so I could barely hear myself.

  “Who knows?”

  “My original teacher. Mordecai. Lauren. Cora. A few other Chinese martial art students who were present but who don’t know my actual name, plus they’ve been sworn to secrecy about where they learned martial arts, which covers my actions. I haven’t had a chance to tell Nathan.”

  “Keep it to that. Your choice on Nathan, but the less who know, the better.”

  “Agreed.”

  “Could you do it again?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know. It was kind of a special circumstance, and it took a while.”

  “Don’t.”

  “I can’t imagine why I’d need to. Or even want to.”

  “I can’t do that, Kirsten. The Summer and Winter Queens of Faerie can. Mordecai likely can between some realms but not all. It’s…” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again.

  “Gods and goddesses.” When it was clear he wasn’t going to finish his sentence, I did.

  He nodded and stood. “Enough talk. How’s the jetlag? You up for going out to eat?”

  “I’m tired, but food sounds good. Somewhere I can get a salad and a baked potato would be perfect. We’ll need to take Smokey home first, though.”

  18

  “Mom, you have to know I’ll be chill if Nathan spends the night. I’m a grown up. I can handle it.”

  We were awake at one in the morning, binge-watching a show on Netflix with vampires, werewolves, demons, and angels.

  “I’ve held off this long, I figure I may as well wait until you’re at college. All bets are off about who stays over when you come home, though.”

  “You had sex in his office.”

  “Probably.”

  “OMG! You know you did!”

  “Do you really want to know I had a quickie this afternoon? Most kids don’t want to know about their mom’s sex life.”

  “I’m okay with it. You’ve taught me sex isn’t anything to be ashamed of. Just because I haven’t yet, doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”

  “You know you’ll have opportunity at college. Have you thought about how you want your first time to go?”

  “I have. I want it to be with someone all the girls say is magic. Someone who won’t want a relationship. Just sex, but I want it to be fantastic sex.” She shrugged. “I don’t want it to get in the way of a relationship. It’s kind of heavy, you know? I want my first time to be good, and with someone I know enough to trust, but not with someone I’ll be all clingy with.”

  “Follow your instincts. Your first time might be crap, but that doesn’t mean it always will be. It might be fantabulous. We don’t know, but first times can be
difficult. In my mind, it’s better for that time to be with someone you’re close to, and who’ll go slow and make sure it’s good… but if you want to go another route, more power to you.”

  I made a mental note to order a case of condoms and be sure they ended up in her dorm room.

  “What if I don’t tell them I’m a virgin?”

  “I don’t want you to regret your first time. I’m not going to tell you what to do, but… for me, that would’ve been a bad idea. I can’t answer the question for you, but I’d ask you to consider it from all angles. Whether you’re in love for your first time or not, it should be intimate, and that requires honesty. The guy should know.”

  “I know Nick’s a lion. That means he has to do what Nathan says.”

  I froze. “What are you saying?”

  “What if I asked Nathan to order Nick to…” She sighed. “Or is that creepy?”

  “What if you call Nick and ask him out? I’ll tell Nathan not to kibosh it, but I don’t think you want Nick to do it under order, do you?”

  “No, but calling him is kind of scary.”

  “I’ll ask Nathan if Nick is seeing anyone. It’s too late to text him now. Remind me tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “We need to have an uncomfortable conversation.”

  “Won’t be the first time.” Nathan’s voice was light. Teasing.

  “More uncomfortable.”

  “On the phone? Do you need me to come over?” Still teasing. I loved hearing him like this.

  “No. Is Nick seeing anyone?”

  A ten second pause, and when he answered, he did so slowly. “Nick is seeing a whole bunch of someone’s. Why?” Hints of the lion asking as much as the man. Neither happy.

  “Lauren wants to ask him out, but is shy, but… crap. She doesn’t want to be a virgin when she goes to college. She doesn’t want her first to be her true love, but she wants him to know what he’s doing. She and Nick are friends, she likes him, but nothing can happen long-term because she’s about to leave for Cambridge.”

  “I forbade Nick from touching her inappropriately.” Still the lion and the man speaking. Both in total agreement.

  “I need you to retract the order, please — but do not order him to make it good for her, either. Just let it be the two of them. Whatever happens, happens. Though, you could insist on a condom. I’d be happy with that being an order.”

  “This conversation is all kinds of wrong.”

  “I warned you.”

  “You did.” When I didn’t respond, he finally added, “Fuck. Fine. Okay. She’s going to have sex eventually. Better we have some control over it, I guess.”

  “No! No control! Take him off the leash for this. His choice. The two of them. Young man and young woman. We stay out of it.” I appreciated him looking out for her, but the arrogant cat needed to back off.

  “Cats are never leashed.”

  I closed my eyes. Of course they aren’t. Except when they are, as he’d leashed Nick, but I knew better than to bring up reality. “I’m sorry for using the wrong terminology, but you have to know what I meant, right?”

  “I’ll talk to him. Anything else?”

  “He’s safe, right? I mean, with humans? He won’t treat her like another cat? He knows we’re more fragile?”

  Nathan gave what can only be described as a longsuffering sigh, as if my questions were going to be the bane of him. “I don’t like talking about how I run my Pride.”

  “I’m not asking you to.”

  Another sigh. “I’m allowing Nick to remain in Chattanooga until he graduates UTC or his grades fall. Whichever comes first. He needs to leave town and either take over another Pride or start his own, and it should’ve already happened, but we’re negotiating as humans and trying to quiet our cats. Meanwhile, he isn’t allowed to have sex with a lion until he’s moved away permanently. Period. He’s been with other shifters — wolves, a swan, even a deer. He’s also been with a lot of human women. An uncountable number of human women. He’ll be fine.”

  “Thank you.” Turns out, I’d inadvertently asked about how he ran his Pride, and he’d told me.

  “You’re welcome. Anything else?”

  “I need to know where my energy levels are during orgasm. I’ve been concentrating on keeping them tight during waking hours. Cora will sleep with me and wake me if she realizes I’ve let them out, but I need to get a sense of what happens during sex.”

  “You have plans with Dawg?”

  “I haven’t talked to him since I returned home, but I figure I need to call him soon. James knows I’ll contact him when I return home from Cambridge.”

  “Where’s Lauren now?”

  “Still asleep. If she needs to take two weeks to get back on Eastern time, she has it. I need to force myself back faster, but I may take a week to do it, since I don’t have to get right back to work.”

  “What are you going to do with yourself once Lauren’s gone?”

  “Marcus — Doctor Woods — needs someone to help with therapy, and I’d like to be able to work without leasing an office and hiring someone and everything else that comes with owning your own business. His patients have heavy duty issues, but I’m more than qualified to work with them, plus I’d have his guidance. It’s one of several offers and many options, but it’s the one that calls to me the strongest.”

  “What if Aaron offered you a thirty-hour per week position?”

  “Doing what?”

  “Analysis, mostly. I think you’d enjoy the work, but I’ll let him explain it. Just keep an open mind about it, and don’t commit to anything else yet, okay?”

  “I’ll hear him out before I make any decisions. Let me know when you’ve talked to Nick to rescind your previous orders, and Lauren can call him, okay?”

  “Will do. Take care of yourself.”

  I disconnected and called Aaron. “I need to spar with someone, and I need to do whatever’s necessary to get recertified to carry a weapon on Drake Security missions.”

  “I can spar with you at…” A ten-second pause, and then, “five thirty, if that works for you? Bring your Sig and we’ll get you recertified for it when we finish. I’ll have a rifle and shotgun down there, so we can get those behind us as well.”

  “With Cora or without?”

  “I assumed without, since you could spar with her and don’t appear to want to.”

  “We’re still working on balancing our energy. I don’t think we should spar yet.”

  “Okay. Come without her. The timing might work so I can watch you spar with Ranger or Patrick, too. We’ll see who’s around.”

  19

  Lauren and I had arrived home on January seventh, and would leave on the seventeenth to drive to Cambridge. Classes started on the twenty-first.

  We packed so much into those ten days — a doctor’s appointment to get Lauren on birth control, lots of homemade family dinners including Xiaolan (who still lived with her boyfriend but regularly came to our house for family stuff), weapons training almost daily, and my daughter lost her virginity.

  Nathan spent the night with me on the night Lauren stayed with Nick. He was still at the house when she arrived home, and I could practically feel the cat in him bristling when she walked in. He considers Lauren to be his, so it had to be hard for him to let Nick put his scent all over her.

  “Are you okay?”

  I stepped into the foyer to see Lauren looking at Nathan, dumbstruck. “I’m fine. OMG, Mom, could this be any more awkward?”

  “Leave her alone, Nathan. In fact, why don’t you go scrounge up some breakfast while I jump in the shower?”

  Cora had spent the night with Randall while Nathan was with me, but she’d have some meat in the fridge Nathan could do something with. I hadn’t been to the store since we’d been home. Cora had stocked everything we needed. Once Lauren was out of the house, we’d need to re-negotiate household chores, or perhaps hire someone to handle everything we didn’t want to have t
o mess with.

  Lauren and I had long ago worked out that difficult conversations worked best when one of us was in the shower and the other sitting in the bathroom. It allowed us to talk without seeing each other. Lauren also brought stuff up in the car while I was driving, for the same reason — very little eye contact.

  So now, Lauren put the lid on the toilet seat down and sat on it after I was in the shower.

  “I feel naughty.”

  I laughed. “Good. I think.” Damn, this was awkward, but I plunged ahead. “For me, feeling naughty means it was good, usually.”

  Silence, and then, “I don’t think I can talk to you about this.”

  Thank goodness. I’d have the conversation if she needed to, but… uggg. Awkward. Still, it felt like she wanted to share — or perhaps ask a question — but wasn’t sure how.

  “Okay. Tell me this, with one being horrible and ten being out-of-this-world fantastic, how would you rate your night?”

  “Ummm, at first, maybe a four, but then later… Mom. It was like, a three thousand and eleven.”

  I smiled. “Okay. Enough said, unless you want to say more, or if you have any questions. Knowing it was good for you is all I need to know.”

  “I should’ve done this sooner.”

  I laughed. “It’s possible that Nick is exceptionally good, and others won’t be able to get you all the way to three thousand – which is okay. Be happy with anything approaching a ten.”

  “Is Nathan that much better than everyone else?”

  “Trust me, you don’t want to hear about that yet. A year of sex under your belt, I’ll talk to you about other stuff, if you haven’t started asking questions yet.”

  She chuckled. “Under my belt.”

  “I’m going to miss you, but I’m so happy you’re going to get this opportunity. You have to know Harvard is a really big deal.”

  “Are you going to cry when you take me?”

  “You know I will.” I might cry the whole way home, too, but she didn’t need to know that.

  “I think I might, too.”

  “That’s okay, but I hope you’re okay by the second or third day. It’s an adventure. You did okay with Shīfù when I wasn’t around. You’ll be fine at Harvard.” Something told me Harvard might be easier.