Cinder To Ash (Tainted Hearts Book 3)

by Summer, AJ

  “Cole sleeps better on your bed! And you’re never here, anyway.”

  “Townsend.” A deep voice grumbles over the line.

  “Bout time,” I mutter back.

  “Who is this?” He sounds undignified. Asshole. “This is Jase Lyle. We spoke at the hospital?” I wonder if he remembers me.

  “Yes, Mr. Lyle. How can I help you?” His answers are clipped and rude.

  “I was wondering what happened to that guy. The one who jumped the red light?” You know the one who almost killed me, I add in my head. There’s a slurp on the line, almost like he’s drinking coffee or something. Paper crinkles next and not the kind you’d use to type information on. He crunches loudly. Is he eating crisps while on the line with me? Unmannered douche. I squeeze my phone tightly, taking deep controlled breaths, wishing I could go over there and kick his ass.

  “He’s still in custody. Has another hearing scheduled next month.” He’s still chewing in my ear. Disgusting.

  “And the other guy?” The first time I told him this, he denied there being more than one guy. But I know what I saw. There were two guys in that car. Both wearing caps.

  “There’s still no evidence of a passenger, Mr. Lyle. Just the driver. As I said before, I’ll let you know if anything comes up. I need to go.”

  I end the call before he can tell me more lies. Bailey is turning into crime central. Not even the police can give you straight answers. I finish picking up shoes and dirty clothes until it’s time for my run. And then I run. I run from all my demons, all the unanswered question, but most of all I run from the uncertainty ... will Mia say yes if I ask her to marry me? I hate that I don’t know.

  “Bingo sounds like fun?” Mia croaks next to me. She looks like an abominable snowwoman. An exquisite abominable snowwoman, but still, ear muffs, a scarf and two jackets? It is a miracle she can even move. The fact she came is all that matters. If I didn’t have a standing reservation with the ladies of Oaken Rest I would’ve stayed home with her.

  “Oh, it’s fun. Great prizes too,” I say on a smirk.

  It’s really not that bad. I’ve been coming here every Saturday since I got out of the hospital. At first, Grams couldn’t stand seeing me in that wheelchair. Her eyes would tear up every time she looked at me. Two weeks later, I walked in there and she almost broke a hip to get to me. You don’t want an old person to bust a hip, or at least that’s what she told me. So I guess she was pretty damn happy to see me standing. I pull into my parking spot, yeah I have my own spot, not that many people come to bingo nights. It’s mostly just the people living in the home.

  Mia waits for me to open her door before she gets out. She huddles close to me, putting her arm around my waist. I smile down at her and drape my arm over her shoulders.

  “I’m freezing,” she whispers. Did I mention I’m only wearing a long sleeve top? I put my hand to her forehead but it feels normal. Not hot or cold.

  “Come on, I’ve got something inside that’ll make you feel much better.”

  “A sledgehammer?” she asks with a straight face while I lead her to the community hall.

  “Har-har-har. Through here.” I push the door open and we’re greeted by almost thirty cheery old faces. It used to be weird walking in here. The first time they saw me the whole room echoed with a unified gasp. Piercings. Tattoos. Hair in my face. The old people were horrified. Hey, at least I wore a decent pair of jeans. Not even a single tear in them. Grams put them in their places pretty quick right then. I’ve never seen staring heads snap away so fast. I should’ve been used to it. My whole life people have judged me for what they see. No one cared to look deeper. Until Mia. She climbed in there, straight past the ink and metal, and ripped me right open. I grab her hand and squeeze. Every day I fall more in love with this woman. Mia smiles back at me, her eyes sparkling in the lights.

  Grams spots us first and wobbles over. Grams has always loved Mia. She almost clobbered me back into hospital with her cane when she found out I left Mia in Bailey to come stay here until I was better. The plump old dear wraps Mia in a big hug, which poor Mia tries her best to reciprocate. I think the fact that she doesn’t want to breathe germs all over Grams is making her look like a popeyed goldfish. When Grams eventually lets Mia go, she turns to the side and takes a big gulp of air.

  “None of that now child. I don’t get sick that easily. These old bones are made of stronger stuff than that. A shot of whiskey a day, keeps the doctor away,” Grams jokes on a wink. Or at least I hope she does - that look on her face is much too incriminating.

  Mia smiles sheepishly at Grams who focuses her wise old eyes on me, waiting for me to go over and hug her. Of course I don’t get smothered in hugs. I have to hug her. I wrap her soft old body in my arms and give her a gentle squeeze.

  “It is nice to see you again,” she says, patting my back. “But what were you thinking bringing Mia out in this cold?” She clucks, pulling away from me. Am I the only one not getting cold? Even Grams is only wearing a thin cardigan wrapped around her shoulders. Feeling careless, I look to Mia. She’s scanning the room with droopy eyes. Grams is right, I shouldn’t have let her come. “Don’t look like that,” she says, pulling on my arm. So she scolds me and thinks I’ll just let it run off my back? I respect this old lady more than anything else in the world.

  Grams gives me another look before pulling me and Mia over to her table. There’s a big bowl covered in a drying cloth. I don’t even have to ask. I know she made her soup for Mia. Once Mia gets that down she’ll be much better.

  “Here,” Grams says, placing the bowl into Mia’s hands. “Have this and get straight to bed. Have Jase make you some peppermint tea with a few drops of honey. Drink it as hot as you can. You’ll be better come morning. Now off you go. Bingo will still be here next weekend.” Grams gives Mia another hug, which now is a bit more awkward with the big bowl in Mia’s hand. Then she kisses my cheek and says just loud enough for me to hear: “I’m so happy that you got your head out of your ass.” I scoff, staring at her with my mouth open. She did not just say that to me? “Go on then. Get Mia out of the cold and into bed,” she says, waving us off. Before what she said can start sounding dirty to me, I spin Mia around and lead us outside.

  “Not to sound rude, but what is in here? Its heavy,” Mia asks, lifting the bowl off her lap. She’s been twist and turning it ever since we left the home. She’s done everything short of untying the knot and lifting the lid.

  “Chicken soup. Real good chicken soup,” I say on a smile.

  “Oh. I didn’t even get to thank her. She moved us out there so fast, I didn’t have time.” She looks down at the bowl again. Mia gives a loud sigh and drops her head back. “I’ll phone her in the morning,” she says.

  “She’ll like that. Don’t worry about it too much. She basically shoved us out of there.” I pat Mia’s thigh on the last word.

  “Mmm,” she murmurs. Her eyes are closed and even in the dim light I can see the dark smudges underneath. She must not be sleeping well. “Tell me about Rose?” she asks suddenly. I thought she was falling asleep. “Tell me about Rose,” she says again, turning her head to face me.

  “What do you want to know?” I ask.

  “Everything.” I frown at her. I think Mia has the Rose concept all wrong. I squint at her all looney eyed, trying to figure out her angle.

  “Her full name is Rose-Mary Keller. I met Rose while growing up at Gram and Grandpa’s. She was kind of like my best friend. She always made me do this weird shit.” I feel the fond memory smile tipping up the corner of my lip and when I glance at Mia she’s got the same one on her face.

  “What kind of weird stuff?” she asks. I snort. Boys don’t confess these things. I think nine year old Jase might have had a thing for Rose.

  “I think Rose always knew she was going to go into nursing. She was always fixing stuff. Broken butterflies. Dead worms. It was all very Frankenstein weird shit.” I laugh at Mia’s soft giggle. “When we were about fifteen,
Adam moved into the neighborhood. Him and Rose clicked instantly. I swear there was like a flash of light and teenage Adam was whipped. His hormones kept him sniffing after her like a dog with a bone.” I risk a quick glance at her to make sure she’s still listening. She smiles at me. I indicate to turn onto the main road for Bailey and switch on my main lights when we hit the gravel road.

  “Go on,” she says, snuggling deeper into the passenger seat.

  “I think those two were just meant to be together. Then Adam’s parents moved away in our senior year and they lost contact. Rose went away to study and then I lost contact with her. I only saw her again when I came down for Gramp’s funeral. She’d already had Cole by then. And, as you know, Adam is his father. The day they fetched me from hospital,” Mia sucks in a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut, stopping my words on the tip of my tongue.

  “You should never have done that,” she whispers.

  “I know.” I don’t know what else to say so I keep quiet.

  “What happened next?” Her brown eyes are huge in the dark interior of the car - chocolate pools shadowed by hurt that I put there. Even if I spend my whole life trying, I’ll erase every single speck of it. I take a deep breath, ready to tell her the rest of the story.

  “Before they put me under, my Doctor told me it could just be nerve damage and that it might just be up to me to walk again. I couldn’t let you take care of me Mia. There was no way I could let you push me to the bathroom. I’m a man. I was your man, and god that thought … it killed me.” I hit my chest hard, trying to dull the ache spreading through my heart. Mia squeezes my thigh, her eyes telling me that it’s okay. “I woke up a little while later and you were gone. The nurse told me you’d gone home to change or something. I can’t remember everything, my head was fuzzy. My cell rang. It was Grams. She told me not to do it. Said I was making a mistake. But I didn’t listen. When Grams told me that Rose and Adam were in town and looking to rent her house I saw the perfect opportunity. I got their number from her and the rest you know. They were there about two hours later. Rose helped me get a nurse until I moved from the wheelchair to crutches. From there I did everything myself.” I exhale loudly. It feels good to have that off my chest. When there’s no reply from her I turn to check. She’s asleep. Did she hear any of it? “Mia?” I whisper.

  “I heard,” she whispers back, dipping her chin into her scarf. She doesn’t open her eyes.

  “Okay.”

  The rest of the drive back to Bailey goes quickly. Mia is breathing softly in the seat next to me. I curse every bump and hole in their driveway. She looks beat and I don’t want to wake her. Getting out of the car, I close my door softly and almost run to the front door. I don’t want to leave her sleeping alone in the car too long. I use my old key on the front door, unlocking it, then push it open and switch on the light.

  I place the bowl of soup at her feet and gently lift her. Her head lolls to the side causing her to jerk softly and her eyes to flutter open, looking at me so soft and big that my legs almost give out.

  “Hey. Sorry I fell asleep. You don’t have to carry me. I can walk.” She places a hand over her mouth smothering a yawn.

  “I want to carry you. Think you could grab that?” I ask, tilting my head toward the soup. Mia smiles, grabbing the bowl off the floor. I wrap her in my arms, kicking my truck door closed with my foot. I carry her to the front door, her one arm wrapped around my neck, her fingers softly playing with the hair at my nape. The sensation causes goose bumps to run down my shoulders. I absolutely love the way her skin feels against mine. I push the front door closed and smile down at her when she snuggles closer to my chest.

  “I’ve missed this.” She sighs. I climb the stairs one at a time. Slowly. I would never risk a fall with her in my arms. Mia inhales deeply, sighing again. “I can’t even smell you with this darn stuffy nose!” She whines softly.

  I chuckle, kissing her tenderly on her head. She’s adorable. I love this girl so much. She untangles her arm from around my neck to twist the knob on her bedroom door open. I move it open further with my elbow and walk us inside.

  “I don’t want you to let me go yet,” she says, wrapping her arm back around me. I squeeze her tighter. Her words filling my heart to bursting point. I could quite possibly stand here holding her forever.

  “Put that down here.” I nod to the bowl in her lap. She places it on her dresser. I sit us down on her bed and kick off my shoes. Shuffling backwards I place my back against the head board and reposition her in my lap.

  “This is good,” she hums against my neck.

  I think my body gets the wrong idea because it instantly goes rigid. I don’t think Mia is feeling well enough for that kind of attention. She laughs softly, snuggling deeper into my neck and chest. Her warm breath a delicious caress against my skin. My fingers dance slowly up and down her spine, feeling her body relax deeper into mine. If she falls asleep like this I may very well stay awake all night. It’ll be worth every second.

  “Love you so much, Jase,” she whispers with her face still hidden. My heart lurches in my chest, pulling me forward and jostling her on my lap. Again she laughs softly. I push her back until she’s looking into my eyes.

  “I love you.”

  Her lips form a brilliant smile. “I know.” She cuddles back into my body, wrapping both arms around my waist and lays her head over my beating heart. “This dating thing is going to kill me. I’m always tired.”

  I don’t tell her we still have three dates left. Or that I have something extra special planned for the last one. I’m actually enjoying these little excursions. Except that Mia got sick, of course, or that she thinks she saw her dead twin.

  “I don’t think I need more dates,” she says, surprising me. “Aiden and Jenna are moving the last of their stuff tomorrow. They’re having a little get together later the evening. We should go?” She poses it like a question, like she’s unsure.

  “Are you asking me out?” I joke. She pushes me against the shoulder shaking her head.

  “It could be our last one.” She giggles nervously. “I’m working the whole day on Sunday. I have some missed hours to make up for.” She smiles sadly. That’s my fault.

  Avoiding the uneasiness her smile threatens to bring, I say: “I’ll go with you. You better have some of this soup so you’re well enough,” I say, already moving her off my lap. “You get ready for bed and I’ll get it ready for you.”

  “Okay.”

  I warm up the bowl of soup and make her peppermint tea with honey. This mixture will have her better in no time. I didn’t really have anything planned for our next two dates, so going with Mia to Aiden and Jenna’s housewarming is okay by me. That it’s her turn to work on Sunday night isn’t a problem either. We’ll get Chinese from Lui-Ling down the road. I could even pick up my tattoo gun again, help her out? I’m still working on the details for Monday night. It’ll be a hell of a lot easier if I can just get over these damn nerves. I’m feeling better about it after Mia told me she loved me though.

  Mia slurps on her soup, eyeing me quizzically. “You got this when you were sick? We got cold meds and bed. Doesn’t seem fair.” She takes another sip and another sip after that.

  “Grams is awesome like that,” I say on a shrug. She really is.

  “I didn’t even realize how hungry I was.” She places the empty bowl next to her bed, swapping it out for her tea.

  “It’s good that you’re eating. You were getting a bit ... twiggy?” I say with raised eyebrows.

  She raises one in turn. “I'm not twiggy.”

  “I could snap you in half, Mia.” I’m serious. She’s lost a lot of weight. I hold up my hand to stop whatever is about to come out of her mouth. She ate. I’m happy. I don’t want to fight with her. In fact, the only thing I want to do is hold her. I unbuckle my belt and slip my jeans off.

  “W-what are you doing?” Mia asks, shocked.

  “Going to bed. Scoot up.” I take the cup out of her hand and
watch as she does what I said.

  If her eyes go any bigger they might fall out. I tug my shirt over my head and drop it to the floor. Remembering how much Mia used to hate that, I quickly collect it and hang it neatly on the back of the chair. I climb into my side of the bed and lay my head on my pillow. Damn my bed feels good. Stretching my arms and legs out, my foot touches hers and she jerks it away like I just electrocuted her. You’d swear we’ve never been in bed together by her reaction. But we have, all over this bed, in all kinds of positions. Even the walls in this room has had Mia and myself all over them. Mia is still frozen on the other side of the bed.

  “Come here,” I say, pulling her to me. She resists, looking at me like I’ve just pulled the legs off a tiny insect. “Do you want me to fetch you from that side? Because I will.” I don’t wait for her to respond. Instead I pull on her arm, making her squeal. She ends almost right on top of me. I pat her head into the crook of my neck and drape her arm around my waist. Exactly the same way we used to fall asleep at night. “Goodnight Mew,” I say before kissing her softly on her head. She’s still stiff as a board.

  “Goodnight Jase,” she murmurs softly. She lays there for a long time, not moving. Her spine stiff and hard beneath my palm. It’s only much later when her leg covers mine and her fingers dig into my flesh, that I breathe a sigh of relief and close my eyes.

  “Good morning Mia!” Lewis sings as he bursts through the door. The bed moves under me, grunting. Huh? “... And Jase?” Lewis asks, sounding a little confused before he disappears just as quickly as he arrived.

  Oh shoot, that’s right Jase was in bed with me last night. He stayed? I open my eyes, the stunning sight in front of me almost breaking my carefully mended heart right open. Emerald green eyes looking up at me with such tenderness that I suck in a big breath.

  “Morning.” His voice is gruff and sexy from sleep. That sound wakes parts of my body that should still be sleeping. Especially since Lewis came to wake me up, he only does that when I’m late for work. Crap, not again!