Charlie Cradle's Wonderful Existence: A Novella

by Scott J. Callaway

  Chapter 14

  “I’m disappointed in you, Charlie Cradle.”

  Mr. Director sat behind his large wooden desk, holding a metal pen in one hand and writing with it on a black clipboard that he held in another. Charlie couldn’t see the contents of what he was writing, but unless he was making a grocery liquor list, since that poorly concealed bottle he kept on his desk disguised as their company’s logo of a smiling pickle, he was definitely writing her termination slip. Charlie sighed and felt like crying. Why did things have to turn out this way? She was through with magical beings and bounty hunters. All she wanted was her normal life back and that included her much hated job.

  “I’m really sorry, Mr. Director,” said Charlie, “But I swear it wasn’t my fault! There was a horde of flies that were--”

  “No excuses, Charlie,” said Mr. Director, cutting her off. “Here at The Pickle Jar Incorporate we’d expect our employees to act with the highest degree of professionalism, even if they were plunged into a pool of sharks.”

  There was definitely one shark in there today, thought Charlie, miserably and not for the last time inwardly cursing Roxy’s name. She also wished she could yank the concealed liquor bottle off of his desk and smash it over his hypocritical head. But there was no sense in making things worse. Even though she was getting fired, she still hoped to salvage the company as a positive reference for her resume when searching for a new hair-pulling job. Maybe playing the spoons as a form of busking would yield enough rewards to pay her bills? If only she had a dancing monkey to first draw a crowd.

  “I understand,” said Charlie, looking down and no longer able to keep eye contact.

  “I’m just glad that Roxy called my office and notified me of your behavior right away,” said Mr. Director. “You should be thankful those breasts—I mean, that woman! Um, be thankful that woman was on her toes and ready to report any misbehaviors before things were able to get out of hand.”

  Yeah, thought Charlie, real thankful…

  “Because, Charlie, your actions merit your termination.”

  Here it comes, she thought, she better go find a small cardboard box to put her belongings in.

  “But, even though I should be firing you…” Mr. Director continued, the hesitation in his voice causing Charlie to raise hopeful eyes and meeting his gaze again. “You’re one of our most valuable employees. You’ve been with us for longer than the average and your dedication to the pickle industry yields results. I can’t deny that. You are among the top of those that secures real calculable answers that will help this company take the pickle industry by storm. So, taking these facts into consideration… I’ll allow this slip up to be swept under the rug for just this once.”

  The relief that suddenly washed over Charlie was enough to make her lower body weak enough to force her to stop a pee drop from leaking out. Despite the putrid stench of liquor flowing from his lips with each word that he spoke, she could have jumped over Mr. Director’s desk and kissed him. It was just too good to be true!

  “However,” he continued, Charlie’s world decelerated into slow motion again, “it would be bad business not to reprimand you in some way. Others around the office will start thinking that we are perhaps trading sexual favors or something. And we definitely can’t have that. I have standards, you know. So unfortunately, Charlie, I’m going to have to suspend you from the office for a week. Once this whole commotion settles down, you can come back to work and keep plowing the way for a better pickle, for a better tomorrow.”

  Yep, thought Charlie, too good to be true. But, on the bright side, at least she hadn’t completely lost her job. The thought of job searching and being interviewed was beginning to stress her out even further. So putting on her most enthusiastic smile, she thanked Mr. Director profusely and then left to log out from her computer and got ready to leave for yet another week.

  As Charlie walked down the hall, before arriving at her workspace, she discovered Roxy standing by her cubicle, a triumphant evil smirk playing on her lips. Charlie wished she could find that fly she chewed on and stuff it in her smug face.

  “That was quite the outburst,” said Roxy as Charlie approached. “So inappropriate while on the phone with a client. It just hated to do it, but as your new supervisor, it was only right to follow my obligations and report that potty mouth of yours.”

  “Well, I hope you’re happy,” said Charlie, spiteful and angry but trying to keep it to a whisper, “because now I’m suspended for a week.”

  “Aw, that’s too bad. I was really aiming for you to be thrown out to the curb. So let this be a warning to you. If you don’t bring me to Rowan, then next time I’ll have you fired for good.”

  Roxy pulled a card from her pocket, walked over to Charlie’s shoulder purse that was lying on her desk, and shoved it inside to avoid Charlie not accepting it.

  “That’s my cell number,” she continued. “When you finally decide to come to your senses and wish to avoid any more trouble, then you know how to get a hold of me. You want to do this, Charlie Cradle. It’ll only get worse from here.”

  Charlie narrowed her eyes and fumed with anger. The very nerve of that woman! She was so sick of her by now that if she weren’t still at work, she would have punched her straight in the face even if she knew she’d only get mangled afterward. The satisfaction of smudging Roxy’s perfect makeup with her fist would have been worth every cut and bruise.

  The walk home from work was a long, wet and miserable reflection of how she felt inside. It seemed that even the sky wanted to add insult to injury and piss on her already bad day. She had one more week without work. That meant her half-paycheck she was expecting to receive next week, which was already cutting things tight for her, was instead going to show up bearing a big fat zero. This issue didn’t escape Charlie’s notice, not even for a second. Because even though she didn’t get fired, it still created a dilemma she was unable to by any means ignore. How was she going to pay for her rent?

  Charlie knew that taking one week off from work wouldn’t have affected her ability to pay her bills. At home, in a file on her computer, she had a spreadsheet outlining her monthly budget. This meticulously outlined where every cent she made was going into, which basically consisted of her rent, cell phone and utilities bill, credit card payment, three books and two new video games, online gaming subscription, groceries, and finally lots of take-out. She usually shamelessly spent half a paycheck on ordering take-out, so that one week’s vacation she just had really cut deep into that part of her budget. But she had already spent most of everything else. And now that she wasn’t able to depend on her last half paycheck to come in, a big chunk of her rent money was missing. And unlike the people she watched in movies who somehow managed to escape their landlord’s wrath for what appeared like weeks, Charlie new real life wasn’t like that. It was either pay your rent or get out.

  It killed her to do this, but Charlie could think of no other solution of as to how she was going to manage to pay her rent. So, knowing that what she was about to do wasn’t going to come without a cost, once she arrived home she picked up her phone and dialed a familiar number.

  “Hello, Mom?” said Charlie, cringing and holding the phone away from her ear as her mother screeched with delight over the fact that she had called after not hearing from her for several days. “Um, I kind of need to ask you a favor.”