I liked to think it never bred resentment between our small family, but I could never be sure. It became even less clear when I received the call that Jeffrey had fainted in the middle of the grocery store one afternoon. I was told he was rushed to the emergency room, but I was so sure it was nothing.
Even as his cancer progressed, I was certain he would recover. The thought that he could die was unfathomable, and I refused to even consider that I would one day have to say goodbye to my little brother. Ultimately, the last time I would see him was right before I departed on a trip to close a deal in Japan. Before I returned home, I received the call that his condition had suddenly deteriorated. By the time I boarded a plane to return home, he was already gone. It haunts me to this day that I never really got to say goodbye.
Ashley bore the brunt of my foul moods when she first began working for me. It was a wonder she managed to stick it out. It was even more surprising when slowly but surely, we became friends. She was the only one in the entire company that knew the depths of my guilt, the only one who knew my darkest secrets.
While she became my confidant, I became something of one for her as well. She lamented her horrible relationships, spoke of deceitful, manipulative men. She was a kind and generous soul, so when she mentioned that she was trying to find a sperm donor, my first reaction was to give her a raise. She’d laughed when I immediately suggested it in the midst of our conversation, but when she realized I was serious, she hugged me more tightly than I’ve ever been embraced before.
In a way, though she didn’t know, I could relate to her troublesome task. My father had made it very clear that my brother was expected to produce a child to carry on the family name, while I was to manage the business. Jeffrey was a free-spirited sort, up until the very end. At first, he’d refused to settle down because he didn’t want the ties. Then, as he got sicker, his reasoning changed. He didn’t want to leave a child alone and fatherless. He didn’t want to leave a woman mourning her lost love.
The rest of my family supposed that the idea of carrying on my father’s legacy had died with my brother. I’d made it very clear for the duration of my life that I had no interest in having children. The women I had romantic dalliances with were little more than sex-fueled flings. I was always careful; I never made love to a woman without a condom. I valued my safety and my future over a brief moment of pleasure.
Which left me brooding in my office that day, wondering why I had dug such a deep hole for myself. With Jeffrey gone, my father’s wishes had been forgotten by everyone except myself. I refused to let the family name die with me, though, hence why I had begun to look into surrogacy.
Money wasn’t an issue. It was simply a matter of finding the right woman—the woman who would be the perfect mixture of beauty, grace, and wits. Unfortunately, most of the surrogates I happened to find lacked in one department or another. The most beautiful woman with the most delicate of features could be as dumb as a rock, and while it was far from my place to judge someone based on intelligence, for the sake of my child, I had to think objectively.
My son or daughter would have to have the smarts to run GlobaPharm when the time came, but intelligence isn’t everything. In a better world, perhaps, where humanity wasn’t so shallow, I would settle with a mousy woman with a PhD, but that simply wasn’t to be.
The chances of finding the perfect woman seemed to be growing increasingly slim. It wasn’t just the death of my father and brother that I was mourning that day—it was the fact that I couldn’t honor their wishes. As business-minded as I may have been, I had a strong moral compass and a determination to see my family done right by the world.
Even Jeffrey had approached me regarding our father’s wishes, when I’d refused to acknowledge that he could, and most likely would, die. He had felt guilty about placing such a burden on my shoulders, but I had given it little thought at the time. I didn’t even consider it until he was gone.
That was why, when Ashley approached me and suggested dinner, I was happy to oblige. I had very few confidants, and while I certainly wanted to keep my search quiet, I felt as if I could divulge my intentions to her. Perhaps we were closer than I liked to admit, considering the amount of trust I put in the woman. It didn’t help that she was altogether charming, and undeniably smitten with me. I would be a fool not to notice the doe eyes she looked at me with when we were alone. The meaning in her gentle touches would be obvious to anyone.
My refusal to acknowledge that I might have had a crush on her may have been over the top. The thought was silly, however, especially considering the boundary that employees and employers were supposed to maintain. Even if I had an inkling of feelings for her, I refused to lead her down a path that would likely end in heartbreak. I cared more about her as a friend than a potential lover. She also made a hell of a secretary, doing the job better than anyone I’d hired in the past. I was reluctant to let her go, though I knew there would be the maternity leave to discuss eventually.
I was confident that she loved her job enough to come back. A part of me was convinced that she simultaneously loved the idea of me enough to stay, even if she were to settle down with someone. I had no intentions of leading her on, which was why it was a bit strange that I’d accepted her dinner offer without further question. I would have, in most cases, considered the offer with great trepidation. While I’d had my doubts, I was quicker to give in than I’d expected.
There was something about the fact that I had an employee who cared enough to check how I was feeling on this day that wounded me so deeply. Whether I had an infatuation with Ashley or not, even I couldn’t deny that it was nice to be cared about.
God knows I had done my share of worrying. Even then, with Ashley waiting outside my office, I continued to fret.
It was time to move forward.
Chapter 6
Jensen
When I emerged from my office and saw my secretary smiling a goofy little grin, it was clear she was thrilled to be spending the evening with me. Perhaps that was a rather self-absorbed thought, but a man had to indulge himself every once in a while, didn’t he?
“What has you all smiles?” I asked her with a slightly teasing lilt. She stiffened, fumbling with her phone for a moment before holding the blank screen in front of her face.
“Oh… Just something on my phone,” she said, her voice quaking nervously with the obvious lie. I tilted my head curiously, fighting to keep the mirth out of my eyes. She looked terrified by the prospect of me asking just what she was looking at, and as much as I wanted to tease her, I held back.
“All right. Off we go, then?” I suggested, offering her my arm.
Her eyes widened in a manner she probably thought imperceptible, but Ashley was anything but subtle. Her cheeks flushed a pleasant shade of red, and she obligingly took my arm.
I guided her toward the elevator, a sensation of warmth brewing in my gut as we descended from the top of the building. Happiness seemed to radiate from her entire being, and I couldn’t deny feeling a bit more chipper myself.
“You said the Cerf Blanc, right? Isn’t that one of the most expensive restaurants in San Diego?” she asked shyly, and I curled my lips into a smile.
“Suddenly glad I offered to pay, then?” I teased. She pouted; that adorable expression that made her hazel eyes glimmer, sending jolts of longing through my heart. All right, so perhaps my feelings for her were a bit deeper than I cared to admit.
From the moment Ashley Calhoun had first stepped into my office, those eyes had had me captured. I was but a captive in her presence, gripped by the subtle bounce of her curly hair, her voluptuous curves and those soul-gripping eyes. I couldn’t deny that my reasons for hiring her were less than charitable, though I was certain I had blown my chances at getting her under my desk a long time ago. At least, under my desk with no strings attached.
It was easy to pretend that all I wanted was those luscious lips wrapped around my length, her curls bouncing as she moved her head
back and forth…but that wasn’t all that I desired from my tender little secretary, and I felt some trepidation considering that night’s dinner topic.
Then again, I had no intentions of settling down. I intended to make it very clear that all I sought was a surrogate mother. More than once I’d been struck by the thought that Ashley herself would be the perfect mother to my child. She had brains, beauty, wits to boot. She was the kindest woman I’d ever had the pleasure of meeting, and the thought of conceiving naturally with her sent a flare of desire straight to my loins.
I was unaware that I’d tightened my grip on her until she turned to me with wide and imploring eyes. I could only stiffen beneath her gaze. My jaw clenched as I fought to repress the desirous thoughts that brewed in my brain. She was an employee, and I could never cross that line with her. If I allowed myself to get that close to her, even for a night, I wasn’t sure I would ever be willing to let her go.
“Are you all right, Jensen?” she asked gently, resting her hand on top of mine. In spite of the pounding in my heart, I managed to keep my cool as I flashed a broad smile at her.
“Oh, I’m fine, just thinking about what I might have for dinner,” I lied, though she didn’t look altogether convinced. As far as I was concerned, that just made us even after her lie scarce moments ago.
The elevator’s ding as we reached the bottom floor drew Ashley’s attention away from me, and I found myself somewhat grateful. I didn’t exactly want to explain that I was imagining her splayed on my bed in skimpy lingerie.
“All right, so I’m just going to meet you there? Or…?” She trailed off, looking at me with something of a glimmer in her eye. “We could head over there together. I’d like to get a drink and relax after the day I’ve had,” she said mischievously. I raised a brow, unable to stop the grin that nearly split my face in two.
“Oh, so you’re going to be naughty tonight? All right, I suppose I can drive you. Just don’t get too tipsy, I don’t know that I trust you to keep your hands to yourself,” I said just above a whisper, leading her out of the elevator. Her eyes widened, and I wasn’t quite sure if she was scandalized or just embarrassed.
“You get to be a bad boy every day, Jensen. Let someone else have some fun for once,” she said after a moment. I felt my mouth go dry, arousal spiking between my thighs. She simply smirked at me, drawing away just as we reached my red sports car. I opened the passenger door for her, winking as she settled inside.
“All right, I guess I’ll just have to keep an eye on you then,” I said with a smile, closing the door and circling around the car. As I opened the door, the last thing I expected was the retort she offered.
“I hope you’re able to control yourself,” she said flirtily, her expression bolder than I’d ever seen it before. I knew it was a dangerous line we were toeing, and professionalism had long been thrown out the window. Just the same, I had to play it cool. It was for her own good, after all.
“Oh, perish the thought,” I replied under my breath, my heart lurching when she seemed upset that I hadn’t taken her bait. Was there more to this dinner than I’d expected? Ashley was a terrible liar, and if she wanted to discuss anything beyond a bit of work chatter, I would surely know by now.
Cranking the ignition, I backed out of the parking lot faster than was strictly necessary. Even though I had to keep things professional, I still wanted to impress the woman at my side. It was a game of give and take, but I had to remain certain that it was just that: a game. Ashley clutched the armrests of her seat, pressed against leather upholstery. I pretended not to notice the way her thighs subtly shifted together, nor the pleased flush on her cheeks.
“You sure know how to show a girl a good time,” she said teasingly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a sliver of her thigh peeking out from beneath her skirt, and it was all I could do to keep from swerving off the road. She was just teasing me, and it was nothing I couldn’t handle. If she wanted to press me, I wasn’t about to be outdone.
“Oh, Ashley dear, I’ve not begun to show you a good time. At least, not yet,” I said lasciviously. I regretted the words as soon as I said them, though there was something all too thrilling about the way she blushed from her cheeks all the way down to her neck. I longed to see if her blush dipped down any deeper, perhaps between the valley of her sizable breasts.
Forcing my eyes on the road, I realized we were closer to the Cerf Blanc than I’d thought. I tried to calm my racing heart, and the rush of blood that seemed intent on surging in my groin. I wasn’t some high school kid with a crush, I was a grown man having dinner with his secretary.
I banished the thought of her lips shaped in a perfect ‘O’ from my mind, pulling into a parking spot and cutting the ignition. The vibrations of the car ceased, and I was all too aware of the pleased haze in Ashley’s gaze. Perhaps I had pushed her too far. The situation was getting dangerous fast, and I tried to repeat rationalizations in my mind. She was an employee. She was off-limits. I could not take her to my penthouse and have my way with her, as much as her gorgeous eyes begged for it.
“Here we are,” I managed, offering her a warm smile. She shook off her dazed state, glancing toward me with a blush.
“Here we are,” she repeated. Apparently unable to take the tension any longer, she pushed her door open and scrambled out of the car.
Disaster avoided.
For now.
Chapter 7
Jensen
As we stepped into the restaurant, I could sense that Ashley was nervous. I could only wonder if I had pushed her too far, if I had crossed the unspoken boundary I had tried so desperately to tiptoe around.
She didn’t seem angry, however, only glancing toward me with a shy smile every few moments as we were seated. The waiter asked us for our drink orders, and before the woman could speak, I suggested that he bring a bottle of their finest champagne. Ashley’s eyes widened, and she looked all too ready to protest.
“Please, Ashley. It’s my treat. Just enjoy yourself,” I said with my best attempt at a comforting smile.
She still looked nervous, but she managed a faint smile as she folded her hands on top of the table. She was fidgeting almost uncontrollably, and before I could think, I reached out to rest one of my hands on top of hers. She stiffened a bit, glancing toward me with a timid expression. “If I’ve made you uncomfortable…” I began, but she shook her head fervently before I could continue.
“It’s nothing like that, Jensen. I just have a lot on my mind right now,” she said, her words measured and careful. As much as I wanted to press her for further information, I could tell that it would not be forthcoming any time soon. Instead, I drew my hand away and flipped through the menu that had been placed in front of me. I had been to the restaurant a dozen times over, and knew you couldn’t go wrong with their lobster tail in buttered garlic sauce. I had my doubts that Ashley had been to the restaurant before, though.
“What are you planning to order then?” I asked idly, continuing to study the menu, pretending to be entirely absorbed in the task. She seemed to relax slightly once my eyes were no longer on her, and she reached out with shaking hands to grab her own menu. She opened it to the appetizers page, eyes widening in alarm.
“O-oh. I can’t… This is all so expensive! I’ll just have a glass of water,” she said quietly, a sense of urgency in her tone. I smiled gently, meeting her gaze and holding it for a long moment. Her nervousness seemed swift to return, and her cheeks turned that increasingly familiar shade of pink.
“Ashley, if I have to order for you, I’m ordering the most expensive thing on the menu,” I said with a sly grin. She looked stunned, and fumbled with the menu for a moment.
“A salad, then?” she tried to bargain, and I could only roll my eyes in amusement.
“You seem the type who would enjoy the shrimp alfredo. It comes with a side salad and garlic bread. I’ve had it a few times, and it’s an utter delight. Not that you can go wrong with anything here…” I tra
iled off, considering the menu for a moment longer. “Nothing under thirty dollars. Otherwise, have at it,” I added cheekily. She sputtered indignantly for a moment, looking as if she would like nothing more than to flail her arms at me.
“Fine. The alfredo, you said?” she finally said, apparently deciding to go along with it. I was somewhat surprised she didn’t put up more of a fight, but I couldn’t help internally celebrating my victory.
“Yes, you’ll love it. Oh, and just in time. Champagne’s here,” I said, stopping the waiter from pouring me a glass. “For the lady only, tonight. I’m driving,” I grinned, pleased by the bulging of Ashley’s eyes. It was obvious that she’d never been on the receiving end of such spoiling, and in spite of my intention to keep things professional, I intended to remedy that.
“Thank you,” Ashley said weakly as the champagne was poured, taking a sip with some trepidation. A soft sigh drew itself from her lips, and another spike of arousal shot through me. The sheer pleasure in that sigh would have been enough to drive any man mad, I’m sure of it.
I scarcely heard when the waiter asked for our food orders, though Ashley was thankfully paying attention for both of us.
“I appreciate you inviting me out, Ashley. I truly mean that,” I said once the waiter had stepped away, watching my secretary with a self-assured smile. She made a face, swishing the sparkling liquid in her glass.
“I don’t think it counts if you’re the one paying,” she said drily. I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders.
“I wouldn’t have come out alone. I fully intended to spend the evening home alone, sulking,” I assured her. “I actually had something I wanted to discuss with you,” I began, resting my chin in my hand. Ashley seemed to grow more anxious, wringing her hands before taking another long gulp from her champagne glass.
Baby, ASAP - A Billionaire Buys a Baby Romance (Babies for the Billionaire Book 3) Page 16
