How to Wake a Sleeping Lady

by Wolf, Bree

  Never would they have met, and judging from the hopeful smile on Lady Remsemere’s face, that, too, would have been a tragedy.

  One they would never have known of.

  “Will you stay for supper?” Lady Remsemere asked, a deep longing for company shining in her gray eyes. “However, I could also have a carriage readied to take you home. I understand if you wish to see your husband.”

  Smiling, Nessa shook her head. “No, I would love to stay, and I believe my husband is already on his way here.”

  “How do you know?” Lady Remsemere asked, joy dancing on her face.

  “Peter, our groom, escorted me here as I did not know the way,” she explained. “However, when Ravengrove came into view, I sent him back. I did not wish to upset everyone by simply disappearing, but I needed to come here alone and speak to you.”

  Lady Remsemere nodded. “I understand. However, I suppose your husband will—”

  In that moment, angry footsteps echoed to their ears as they thundered toward the drawing room. Exchanging a confused look, the two women had barely enough time to rise to their feet before the door was flung open and Grant stormed in.

  His hair was tousled from the wind, and his face was glowing in a bright red. His chest rose and fell rapidly with each breath he heaved, and every muscle in his body seemed tense to the point of breaking. His jaw was clenched shut, but loosened the moment his moss-green eyes fell on Nessa and he drew in a painfully deep breath.

  Nessa opened her mouth to greet him, unsure what she ought to say after all that had happened in the past few hours. However, before she could, he suddenly surged forward.

  For a moment, Nessa feared he would run her down as he didn’t seem to slow down at all. Only in the last second did he draw to a halt and his arms flew forward, his hands grabbing her just below the shoulders with a desperate force. “How dare you slip out of the house in the middle of the night?” he growled into her face, yanking her toward him. “How dare you leave without saying a word?”

  Annoyed with his accusation, Nessa lifted her chin, her eyes hard as she met his. “As though you don’t know!” she snapped, squaring her shoulders and forcing a bit of distance between them. “You knew and you didn’t tell me! I had to hear it from your mother. I—”

  A gentle hand touched her arm, jarring Nessa from the anger that pooled in her belly. Blinking, she found Lady Remsemere standing beside her, an indulgent smile on her soft features. “He’s not angry with you,” the young woman whispered without even glancing at Grant. “He feared he’d lost you again.”

  Nessa turned shocked eyes to her husband and as she looked closer, she saw him fall apart before her very eyes. Panic stood in his gaze, bright and clear, and the tension clamping his hands over her arms spoke of a desperate need to keep her close, to not let her slip away again.

  He had been afraid.

  Terrified.

  And he had come after her.

  Lady Remsemere’s story echoed in Nessa’s head in that moment, of how her new husband had come for her, not truly angry but afraid for her well-being. For no other reason but because he cared for her. Why was it that these things were so hard to understand once one’s own heart was involved?

  Sighing, Nessa swallowed her anger and met her husband’s gaze. Confusion rested in his green depths as he glanced at Lady Remsemere for the first time since he had entered the drawing room. And in that moment, Nessa realized that he hadn’t even looked at the young woman behind her, that he hadn’t even been aware of her presence before she had spoken.

  All he had seen was her.

  Nessa.

  Chapter Thirty

  Fear

  Belatedly, Grant took notice of Eugenie…Lady Remsemere.

  “Good day, my lady,” he offered a greeting, feeling slightly awkward for reasons he could not quite name. Was it that not long ago Lady Remsemere had been his wife? Was it that he feared to anger Nessa? Or Lady Remsemere? She had understood when he had informed her of Nessa’s return, and she had wished them well. But was she angry now? Had she come to resent him? In that moment, Grant felt his guilt weigh heavily on his shoulders for not once sending word to his friend to ensure that she was well. Perhaps he should have. Perhaps, despite his trust in Adrian, he ought to have asked after her. And their child.

  “Good day to you as well, my lord,” Lady Remsemere returned his greeting, her gaze momentarily lingering on Nessa rather than on him. The two women shared a look he could not understand before their hostess took her leave, mumbling to Nessa before she disappeared, “Remember what I told you.”

  Nessa nodded, and then the door closed and they were alone.

  Grant didn’t know what to think. His hands still held on to Nessa as though she might disappear into thin air if he did not. He felt her skin through the fabric of her gown, warm and alive, and his heart slowly began to calm. His breathing softened, and the thoughts in his mind slowly focused.

  Had he just rushed into Ravengrove without so much as a greeting? Had he yanked his wife into his arms in front of Lady Remsemere?

  Shaking his head, Grant blinked, trying to clear the fog from his mind. The past few hours were a blur, ever since he had gone to look for Nessa, eager to draw her back into his arms, and had hastened from room to room, searching all of Wentford Park without discovering her. Panic had swept through him, and he had felt painfully reminded of the many days after her accident when he had felt she was still there. Perhaps hidden from his view behind a wall or around the next corner. All he had to do was take a few steps and then he would be able to look upon her. Too well did Grant remember those agonizing first days after she had been lost to him. He had still been able to sense her in the house or the gardens. It had been as though she were still there, within reach.

  But she had not been.

  It had been a most painful lesson to learn.

  And last night when she had disappeared, Grant had been certain he would go mad. Only when his groom had returned in the early afternoon had he been able to draw a breath of relief. Grant knew he had been unkind to the young man. Still, in that moment, he had been beside himself. Deep down, he was grateful that young Peter had ensured Nessa’s safety and then returned to bring word of her. Otherwise, Nessa might have disappeared as she had over three years ago, and he would not have known where she had gone.

  And why?

  Frowning, Grant looked down at his wife and his gaze traced the familiar features of her beloved face. He could look upon her forever, safe in the knowledge that she was right here in front of him.

  “Were you afraid I had left you?” Nessa asked, her hazel eyes wide as she searched his face. A slight frown rested on her brows, making it look like she was about to scold him for thinking something so foolish.

  Grant inhaled a deep breath and, without thought, his hands tightened around her arms. Only when she drew in a sharp breath did he realize that fear had gripped him anew, and he purposely forced his hands to release her. “I didn’t know what to think,” he told her, unsure what to do with his hands now that they had lost their purpose. Deep inside, he still felt the need to reach for her. “I looked everywhere for you. I thought all was well. I thought…I thought you wanted me to come to you last night.”

  Licking her lips, Nessa sighed. “I did. I only went out onto the terrace to clear my head, and then…” She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath to fortify herself for what lay ahead. “And then your mother found me.”

  Grant groaned as panic swept through him. Raking his hands through his hair, he stared at his wife, noting the expectant look in her eyes as she watched him. “What did she say?”

  Nessa’s brows rose. “How can you ask me that?” She swallowed, and a look of pain and disappointment flashed across her face. “You should have told me. Would you have if your mother had remained silent?”

  Shaking his head, Grant shrugged as he desperately tried to rear in the panic that engulfed him. “I don’t know. I tried many times. I kne
w I needed to. I knew you deserved to know.”

  “Then why didn’t you?” she demanded, crossing her arms in front of her chest, as she regarded him with a pointed look in her hazel eyes.

  “For the same reason, I did not tell you I’d married again,” Grant answered honestly, fear loosening his tongue. “I was afraid you’d leave.”

  “We’re married,” Nessa pointed out as though all his fears had been ludicrous.

  Grant scoffed, shaking his head, hating the way she looked at him like he was a stranger she did not know. “I know you’re tied to me whether you like it or not, but that is not enough.” Closing the small distance between them with a single step, Grant once more grabbed her arms. He tried to be gentle, but his heart beat wildly in his chest. “I want us to be as we once were,” he told her as he searched her eyes for a spark of their old love. “I want you to want me, to love me as I love you. Yes, I told myself it would be enough to simply have you back in my life, even if we could never again be what we once were. And yes, it is better than not having you in my life at all, but it still isn’t enough.” Sighing, he pulled her closer and rested his forehead against hers. She leaned into him then, and he felt hope blossom in his heart once more. “At first, I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d be too hurt to even look at me again with anything else but disappointment and regret.” He lifted his head and met her gaze. “And then we got closer and I could feel that there was something there between us. Something that hadn’t been there before. I fell in love with you all over again, and I was afraid to lose that.” With a sigh, he reached out and skimmed a finger across her cheek. “To lose you when I’d only just found you again.”

  “I’m still angry with you,” Nessa told him, her voice forcibly stern, before a ghost of a smile flickered across her face.

  Grant breathed in a deep sigh, feeling relief tug on the corners of his mouth. “You have every right to be angry. What I did was wrong, and I’m asking your forgiveness.”

  Nessa swallowed. “You’ll have it if you answer me truthfully.”

  “I promise.”

  “No more lies? Or secrets?”

  Grant nodded. “Never again.”

  “Good.” Straightening, Nessa looked at him, her eyes watchful, and he knew that she still did not believe him completely and would take note of any kind of dishonesty. “Your mother hates me.”

  Surprised, Grant frowned as he had expected anything but that. “I admit your observation is not wrong,” he said truthfully, wishing it wasn’t so.

  Nessa nodded, obviously satisfied with his reply. Then her gaze darkened, and a touch of pain and doubt came to her soft eyes. “She blames me for the death of our son.”

  Almost thrown off balance by the shock of her words, Grant stared at her. “She does what? She told you that?”

  Nessa nodded.

  Swallowing, Grant ran his hands through his hair, welcoming the slight tug on his scalp as he tried to come to grips with his mother’s betrayal. “How dare she say something like that!” he growled more to himself than anyone else. Then he turned to Nessa and saw that his mother’s words had somehow found their way into her heart and taken root. “It was not your fault,” he emphasized as he took her hands into his, drawing her near once more. “Not once has that thought even occurred to me. What happened was a tragedy. It happened to us, and it happened to others. And it is never anyone’s fault. Do you hear me?”

  Nessa’s lower lip trembled, and yet, she remained in control. “That thought never occurred to me, either, at least not until she accused me of ruining your life, of robbing you of an heir. Twice now.”

  Grant frowned. “Twice?”

  “Lady Remsemere is with child,” Nessa sighed, saying the words out loud for the first time. “It could be a boy. If you had remained married to her, you might soon have an heir. Now, you never will.” Sadness clung to her features as she looked at him. Grant thought to see something else there as well. A question. A spark of hope.

  “I never cared about having an heir,” Grant told her firmly as his hands closed gently around hers. “I want a family, a wife who is my other half, a daughter to dote upon.” He sighed, trying to find the right words to explain how he felt. “I do not love Milly because you are her mother. Of course, I delight in seeing your mannerisms in her, your courage, but I love her because of who she is.”

  The corners of Nessa’s mouth quirked upward. But the hint of a frown remained on her face. “What are you trying to say? What about Eugenie’s child? Your child?”

  “I will not deny that a part of me wants to be that child’s father,” Grant admitted, praying with every fiber of his body that she would not run from him now. Still, he had promised her honesty, and he would not break his word. “However, I know that I can never be for I learned a while back from you and your father what makes a family, a true family. I may have fathered Lady Remsemere’s child, but I will not be its father. Parents are those who raise their children with love and kindness, those who are always there, watchful and protective, those who hold their hands and dry their tears.” He shook his head. “That will not be me. Lady Remsemere and perhaps Adrian will be those people as you and I are Milly’s parents. Love makes a family, nothing else.”

  Nessa’s hands returned the gentle pressure with which he held them. “Will you want to be a part of his or her life?”

  Grant sighed. “I would like that, but not as a father.” A soft smile came to his lips. “An uncle perhaps.”

  Nessa inhaled a slow breath as her hazel eyes studied his face. “Would you share him with me? Or her?”

  Grant smiled, pulling her closer. “All I have is yours, Nessa,” he whispered as his hand slid along her jaw and then cupped the back of her head. “All I am is yours.” Lowering his head to hers, he kissed her gently and his heart sighed in relief when she responded in kind.

  Nessa sank into his arms then, and they stood there for a long time simply holding on to one another, savoring the moment. “I admit I thought you’d be furious,” Grant whispered in her ear, unable to silence that part of him that still had doubts. He needed to know how she truly felt and prayed that she was not hiding her true feelings because she thought she had to. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I must say if you had married another and borne his child, I would have…” He couldn’t finish the sentence as merely saying the words threatened to undo him.

  Nessa sighed. “I’m not saying I don’t care,” she stated, a slight warning in her eyes as she looked at him. “All I’m saying is that…I still want the life we had, the life I’ve caught glimpses of over the past few weeks. I want you and I want Milly, and I want us to be a family.” She swallowed, and a long sigh left her lips. “Perhaps I would feel differently if Lady Remsemere cared for you.”

  Surprised at that statement, Grant’s brows rose.

  Grinning at him, Nessa chuckled. “You’re not as irresistible as you might think, my lord.” Jabbing a finger into his chest, she met his gaze, her own holding a challenge that stirred a deep longing in his blood. This was his Nessa!

  Laughing, Grant feigned injury before pulling her back into his arms. “As long as you find me irresistible I have nothing to complain about,” he whispered against her lips before sealing his words with a searing kiss.

  Snaking her arms around his neck, Nessa pulled herself deeper into his arms as passion flared between them.

  “Perhaps we should ask to stay the night?” Grant whispered against her lips. “It’ll be half a day’s ride back to Wentford Park.”

  Kissing him deeply, Nessa pulled away long enough to say, “I’ve already agreed to stay for supper.” Then her lips claimed his again, and Grant felt himself pulled into a torrent of desire, feeling his self-control slip away with each soft moan that rose from her lips.

  “We need to stop, Nessa.” His voice sounded hoarse, almost strangled, as he forced a little distance between them, unable to think when she clung to him in such a way.

 
Her brows rose in challenge as she looked at him, a teasing gleam in her hazel eyes.

  “Not that I don’t want to,” Grant hastened to assure her, unable not to smile at her. “Believe me, I do. However, it might be best if we waited until…after supper?” His voice rose as he looked at her. “I’m certain Adrian will not object to us staying the night.”

  A grin claimed Nessa’s face. “I wouldn’t object, either.” Mischief tickled the corners of her lips. “Especially since I’m dying to meet the elusive Beast of Ravengrove.”

  Grant laughed. “I should have known I wasn’t enough for you.”

  “Don’t pout, my dear,” Nessa smirked as she stepped up to him and then pushed herself up onto her toes. “It doesn’t become you.” Then she planted a thorough kiss on his lips. “Let’s go and see what’s to eat. I’m famished.” Looping her arm through his, she pulled him toward the door. “All I’ve had so far is tea and biscuits.”

  Grant laughed, feeling his insides warm as he followed his wife out of the drawing room. Never would he have thought that today might end with such a sense of belonging and peace. Perhaps that’s simply the way it was when two people truly loved one another. Nothing could ever tear them apart.

  Not pain.

  Not loss.

  Not time.

  Perhaps love truly did conquer all. Grant had never thought about it much. Now, however, he believed it with every fiber of his being.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  An Informative Supper

  According to Nessa’s husband, Lord Remsemere had had no intention of joining them for supper. As Lady Remsemere’s earlier words had suggested, he seemed to be avoiding his wife, which included a friendly supper with her and his oldest friend. Fortunately, Grant had pestered him until he had changed his mind and finally agreed to join them.