Northern Light

by Jennifer Donnelly

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Table of Contents

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Epigraph

  When summer comes to the ...

  frac • tious

  abe • ce • dar • i • an

  Mattie, what in blazes are ...

  mis • no • mer

  som • nif • er • ous

  un • man

  Hamlet is drooling again. Silver ...

  wan

  plain • tive

  I am standing in my ...

  Uri • ah the Hit • tite, stink • pot, wart • hog

  xe • roph • i • lous

  mono • chro • mat • ic

  Dead. That's what I'll be ...

  re • cou • ri • um • phor • a • tion

  fur • tive

  ses • qui • pe • da • lian

  You can't argue with the ...

  tott • lish, frowy, blat, meaching

  au • gur

  glean

  de • his • cence

  Mattie, shut the light! What ...

  mal • e • dic • tion

  ab • scis • sion

  his • pid • u • lous

  Put the letters away, Mattie, ...

  ico • sa • he • dron

  ob • strep • er • ous

  li • mic • o • lous

  I hear a loon calling ...

  grav • id

  sal • tant

  aby

  fu • ga • cious

  South Otselic ...

  thren • o • dy

  con • fab • u • late

  ide • al

  a • busion

  Mattie." ...

  non • pa • reil

  do • lor

  lep • o • rine

  It must be after four ...

  ter • gi • ver • sa • tion

  lu • cif • er • ous

  Quietly, I get out of ...

  Author's Note

  Acknowledgments

  Sources and Suggestions for Further Reading

  About the Author

  Copyright © 2003 by Jennifer Donnelly

  All rights reserved. No pan of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 215 Park Avenue South, New York, New York 10003.

  Epigraph by Adelaide Crapsey from "To the Dead in the Graveyard Under My Window," from The Complete Poems and Collected Letters of Adelaide Crapsey by Susan Sutton Smith, copyright © 1977; reprinted with permission of SUNY Press, Albany, New York.

  www.hmhbooks.com

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

  Donnelly, Jennifer.

  A northern light/by Jennifer Donnelly,

  p. cm.

  Summary: In 1906, sixteen-year-old Mattie, determined to attend college and be a writer against the wishes of her father and fiance, takes a job at a summer inn where she discovers the truth about the death of a guest. Based on a true story. [1. Education—Fiction. 2. Farm life—New York (State)—Fiction. 3. Hotels, motels, etc.—Fiction. 4. Murder—Fiction. 5. Adirondack Mountains (N.Y.)—Fiction. 6. New York (State)— History—20th century—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.D7194No 2003

  [Fic]—dc21 2002005098

  ISBN 0-15-216705-6

  eISBN 978-0-547-54288-1

  v1.1212

  For Megan,

  who escaped from the enchanted forest

  And if the many sayings of the wise

  Teach of submission I will not submit

  But with a spirit all unreconciled

  Flash an unquenched defiance to the stars.

  ADELAIDE CRAPSEY

  Saranac Lake, 1913

  When summer comes to the North Woods, time slows down. And some days it stops altogether. The sky, gray and lowering for much of the year, becomes an ocean of blue, so vast and brilliant you can't help but stop what you're doing—pinning wet sheets to the line maybe, or shucking a bushel of corn on the back steps—to stare up at it. Locusts whir in the birches, coaxing you out of the sun and under the boughs, and the heat stills the air, heavy and sweet with the scent of balsam.

  As I stand here on the porch of the Glenmore, the finest hotel on all of Big Moose Lake, I tell myself that today—Thursday, July 12, 1906—is such a day. Time has stopped, and the beauty and calm of this perfect afternoon will never end. The guests up from New York, all in their summer whites, will play croquet on the lawn forever. Old Mrs. Ellis will stay on the porch until the end of time, rapping her cane on the railing for more lemonade. The children of doctors and lawyers from Utica, Rome, and Syracuse will always run through the woods, laughing and shrieking, giddy from too much ice cream.

  I believe these things. With all my heart. For I am good at telling myself lies.

  Until Ada Bouchard comes out of the doorway and slips her hand into mine. And Mrs. Morrison, the manager's wife, walks right by us, pausing at the top of the steps. At any other time, she'd scorch our ears for standing idle; now she doesn't seem to even know we're here. Her arms cross over her chest. Her eyes, gray and troubled, fasten on the dock. And the steamer tied alongside it.

  "That's the Zilpha, ain't it, Mattie?" Ada whispers. "They've been dragging the lake, ain't they?"

  I squeeze her hand. "I don't think so. I think they were just looking along the shoreline. Cook says they probably got lost, that couple. Couldn't find their way back in the dark and spent the night under some pines, that's all."

  "I'm scared, Mattie. Ain't you?"

  I don't answer her. I'm not scared, not exactly, but I can't explain how I feel. Words fail me sometimes. I have read most every one in the Webster's International Dictionary of the English Language, but I still have trouble making them come when I want them to.

  Right now I want a word that describes the feeling you get—a cold, sick feeling deep down inside—when you know something is happening that will change you, and you don't want it to, but you can't stop it. And you know, for the first time, for the very first time, that there will now be a before And an after, a was and a will be. And that you will never again be quite the same person you were.

  I imagine it's the feeling Eve had as she bit into the apple. Or Hamlet when he saw his father's ghost. Or Jesus as a boy, right after someone sat him down and told him his pa wasn't a carpenter after all.

  What is the word for that feeling? For knowledge and fear and loss all mixed together? Frisdom? Dreadnaciousness? Malbominance?

  Standing on that porch, under that flawless sky, with bees buzzing lazily in the roses and a cardinal calling from the pines so sweet and clear, I tell myself that Ada is a nervous little hen, always worrying when there's no cause. Nothing bad can happen at the Glenmore, not on such a day as this.

  And then I see Cook running up from the dock, ashen and breathless, her skirts in her hands, and I know that I am wrong.

  "Mattie, open the parlor!" she shouts, heedless of the guests. "Quick, girl!"

  I barely hear her. My eyes are on Mr. Crabb, the Zilpha's engineer. He is coming up the path carrying a young woman in his arms. Her head lolls against him like a broken flower. Water drips from her skirt.

  "Oh, Mattie, look at her. Oh, jeezum, Mattie, look," Ada says, her hands twisting in her apron.

  "Sssh, Ada. She got soaked, that's all. They got lost on the lake and ... and the boat tipped and they swam to sh
ore and she ... she must've fainted."

  "Oh, dear Lord," Mrs. Morrison says, her hands coming up to her mouth.

  "Mattie! Ada! Why are you standing there like a pair of jackasses?" Cook wheezes, heaving her bulky body up the steps. "Open the spare room, Manic. The one off the parlor. Pull the shades and lay an old blanket on the bed. Ada, go fix a pot of coffee and some sandwiches. There's a ham and some chicken in the icebox. Shift yourselves!"

  There are children in the parlor playing hide-and-seek. I chase them out and unlock the door to a small bedroom used by stage drivers or boat captains when the weather's too bad to travel. I realize I've forgotten the blanket and run back to the linen closet for it. I'm back in the room snapping it open over the bare ticking just as Mr. Crabb comes in. I've brought a pillow and a heavy quilt, too. She'll be chilled to the bone, having slept out all night in wet clothing.

  Mr. Crabb lays her down on the bed. Cook stretches her legs out and tucks the pillow under her head. The Morrisons come in. Mr. Sperry, the Glenmore's owner, is right behind them. He stares at her, goes pale, and walks out again.

  "I'll fetch a hot water bottle and some tea and ... and brandy," I say, looking at Cook and then Mrs. Morrison and then a painting on the wall. Anywhere and everywhere but at the girl. "Should I do that? Should I get the brandy?"

  "Hush, Mattie. It's too late for that," Cook says.

  I make myself look at her then. Her eyes are dull and empty. Her skin has gone the yellow of muscatel wine. There is an ugly gash on her forehead and her lips are bruised. Yesterday she'd sat by herself on the porch, fretting the hem of her skirt. I'd brought her a glass of lemonade, because it was hot outside and she looked peaked. I hadn't charged her for it. She looked like she didn't have much money.

  Behind me, Cook badgers Mr. Crabb. "What about the man she was with? Carl Grahm?"

  "No sign of him," he says. "Not yet, leastways. We got the boat. They'd tipped it, all right. In South Bay."

  "I'll have to get hold of the family," Mrs. Morrison says. "They're in Albany."

  "No, that was only the man, Grahm," Cook says. "The girl lived in South Otselic. I looked in the register."

  Mrs. Morrison nods. "I'll ring the operator. See if she can connect me with a store there, or a hotel. Or someone who can get a message to the family. What on earth will I say? Oh dear! Oh, her poor, poor mother!" She presses a handkerchief to her eyes and hurries from the room.

  "She'll be making a second call before the day's out," Cook says. "Ask me, people who can't swim have no business on a lake."

  "Too confident, that fellow," Mr. Morrison says. "I asked him could he handle a skiff and he told me yes. Only a darn fool from the city could tip a boat on a calm day..." He says more, but I don't hear him. It feels like there are iron bands around my chest. I close my eyes and try to breathe deeply, but it only makes things worse. Behind my eyes I see a packet of letters tied with a pale blue ribbon. Letters that are upstairs under my mattress. Letters that I promised to burn. I can see the address on the top one: Chester Gillette, 17? Main Street, Cortland, New York.

  Cook fusses me away from the body. "Mattie, pull the shades like I told you to," she says. She folds Grace Brown's hands over her chest and closes her eyes. "There's coffee in the kitchen. And sandwiches," she tells the men. "Will you eat something?"

  "We'll take something with us, Mrs. Hennessey, if that's all right," Mr. Morrison says. "We're going out again. Soon as Sperry gets the sheriff on the phone. He's calling Martins, too. To tell 'em to keep an eye out. And Higby's and the other camps. Just in case Grahm made it to shore and got lost in the woods."

  "His name's not Carl Grahm. It's Chester. Chester Gillette." The words burst out of me before I can stop them.

  "How do you know that, Mattie?" Cook asks. They are all looking at me now—Cook, Mr. Morrison, and Mr. Crabb.

  "I ... I heard her call him that, I guess," I stammer, suddenly afraid.

  Cook's eyes narrow. "Did you see something, Mattie? Do you know something you should tell us?"

  What had I seen? Too much. What did I know? Only that knowledge carries a damned high price. Miss Wilcox, my teacher, had taught me so much. Why had she never taught me that?

  frac • tious

  My youngest sister, Beth, who is five, will surely grow up to be a riverman—standing upstream on the dam, calling out warnings to the men below that the logs are coming down. She has the lungs for it.

  It was a spring morning. End of March. Not quite four months ago, though it seems much longer. We were late for school and there were still chores to do before we left, but Beth didn't care. She just sat there ignoring the cornmeal mush I'd made her, bellowing like some opera singer up from Utica to perform at one of the hotels. Only no opera singer ever sang "Hurry Up, Harry." Least not as far as I know.

  So it's hurry up, Harry, and Tom or Dick or Joe,

  And you may take the pail, boys, and for the water go.

  In the middle of the splashing, the cook will dinner cry,

  And you'd ought to see them hurry up for fear they'd lose their pie...

  "Beth, hush now and eat your mush," I scolded, fumbling her hair into a braid. She didn't mind me, though, for she wasn't singing her song to me or to any of us. She was singing to the motionless rocker near the stove and the battered fishing creel hanging by the shed door. She was singing to fill all the empty places in our house, to chase away the silence. Most mornings I didn't mind her noise, but that morning I had to talk to Pa about something, something very important, and I was all nerves. I wanted it peaceful for once. I wanted Pa to find everything in order and everyone behaving when he came in, so he would be peaceable himself and well-disposed to what I had to say.

  There's blackstrap molasses, squaw buns as hard as rock,

  Tea that's boiled in an old tin pail and smells just like your sock.

  The beans they are sour, and the porridge thick as dough—

  When we have stashed this in our craw, it's to the woods we go...

  The kitchen door banged open and Lou, all of eleven, passed behind the table with a bucket of milk. She'd forgotten to take off her boots and was tracking manure across the floor.

  "A-hitching up our braces and a-binding up our feet."

  "Beth, please!" I said, tying her braid with a ribbon. "Lou, your boots! Mind your boots!"

  "A-grinding up our axes for our kind is hard to beat..."

  "What? I can't hardly hear you, Matt," Lou said. "Cripes sake, shut up, will you?" she yelled, clapping a hand over Beth's mouth.

  Beth squealed and wriggled and threw herself back against the chair. The chair went over and hit Lou's bucket. The milk and Beth went all over the floor. Then Beth was bawling and Lou was shouting and I was wishing for my mother. As I do every day. A hundred times at least.

  When Mamma was alive, she could make breakfast for seven people, hear our lessons, patch Pa's trousers, pack our dinner pails, start the milk to clabbering, and roll out a piecrust. All at the same time and without ever raising her voice. I'm lucky if I can keep the mush from burning and Lou and Beth from slaughtering each other.

  Abby, fourteen, came in cradling four brown eggs in her apron. She carefully put them in a bowl inside the pie safe, then stared at the scene before her. "Pa's only got the pigs left to do. He'll be in shortly," she said.

  "Pa's going to tan your ass, Beth," Lou said.

  "He'll tan yours for saying ass," Beth replied, still sniffling.

  "Now you've said it as well. You'll get a double tanning."

  Bern's face crumpled. She started to wail all over again.

  "That's enough! Both of you!" I shouted, dreading the thought of Pa getting his strap, and hearing the whack of it against their legs. "No one's getting a tanning. Go get Barney."

  Beth and Lou ran to the stove and dragged poor Barney out from behind it. Pas old hunting dog is lame and blind. He pees his bed. Uncle Vernon says Pa ought to take him out behind the barn and shoot him. Pa says he'd rather shoot
Uncle Vernon.

  Lou stood Barney by the puddle. He couldn't see the milk, but he could smell it, and he lapped it up greedily. He hadn't tasted milk for ages. Neither had we. The cows are dry over the winter. One had just freshened, though, so there was a little bit of milk for the first time in months. More were due soon. By the end of May, the barn would be full of calves and Pa would be off early every morning making deliveries of milk, cream, and butter to the hotels and camps. But this morning, that one bucket was all we'd had for a long while and he was no doubt expecting to see some of it on his mush.

  Barney got most of the milk cleaned up. What little he left, Abby got with a rag. Beth looked a little soggy, and the linoleum under her chair looked cleaner than it did elsewhere, but I just hoped Pa wouldn't notice. There was an inch or two left in the bucket. I added a bit of water to it and poured it into a jug that I set by his bowl. He'd be expecting a nice milk gravy for supper, or maybe a custard, since the hens had given four eggs, but I'd worry about that later.

  "Pall know, Matt," Lou said.

  "How? Is Barney going to tell him?"

  "When Barney drinks milk, he farts something wicked."

  "Lou, just because you walk like a boy and dress like a boy doesn't mean you have to talk like one. Mamma wouldn't like it," I said.

  "Well, Mamma's not here anymore, so I'll talk as I please."

  Abby, rinsing her rag at the sink, whirled around. "Be quiet, Lou!" she shouted, startling us, for Abby never shouts. She didn't even cry at Mamma's funeral, though I found her in Pa's bedroom a few days after, holding a tin likeness of our mother so hard that the edges had cut her hand. Our Abby is a sprigged dress that has been washed and turned wrong side out to dry, with all its color hidden. Our Lou is anything but.

  As the two of them continued to snipe, we heard footsteps in the shed off the back of the kitchen. The bickering stopped. We thought it was Pa. But then we heard a knock and a shuffle, and knew it was only Tommy Hubbard, the neighbor boy, hungry again.