Surviving

by Ahren Sanders

  I roll my eyes at Andrea, and we grin at each other. She applies the wax and the strips and when she rips, Declan’ whole body jerks off the table.

  “MOTHERFUCKER!” he screams.

  I lose it, laughing until there are tears running down my face. He looks at me like I’m the devil while Andrea finishes him up. She hands me the soothing balm and goes to get two small bags of ice for the redness.

  “Just imagine, baby, I do that almost everywhere.” I tell him as I massage the cream onto his skin. For good measure, I lean down and give him a kiss on his pelvis.

  “Can I get one of those? It may make this all worth it.” Cooper asks throwing his hips forward.

  “Douche, I will kill you. Step back.” Declan hisses.

  When Andrea returns with the ice, both guys hold it to their skin until Jewel comes to get us and instructs Nate and Blake to take off their shirts because it’s their turn. I start to ask Declan if I can stay behind and watch them, but he tugs my hands, and pulls me with them.

  The next hour is a mixture of pictures poses and candid shots. I’m pretty sure between Jewel and her assistant, she has thousands of pictures. During the shoot, we hear screaming from the back room and recognize each voice. I giggle each time, but Declan and Cooper give each other sympathetic looks.

  When the time comes to shoot the group without their shirts, Jewel has her assistant take the shots and comes to talk to me. She tells me her idea, and I love it. I have no doubt Declan is going to go ape shit, but the vision is so awesome, I agree and follow Andrea for hair and make-up.

  I take off my shirt, and she hands me a short robe to put on while she curls and fluffs my hair. She applies sultry eye makeup and a nude gloss on my lips. I look at myself in the mirror and think about Declan’s reaction.

  Jewel yells for me to come to the back studio. When I walk in, everyone stares at me.

  “Jesus!” – Cooper.

  “For the love of God!” – Nate.

  “Unfucking Real!”– Blake.

  “Not fucking happening!”– Declan.

  “Sweetheart, we have a plan. Listen to Jewel.” I say calmly. His eyes are blazing with anger.

  She feels the tension and steps in. “I’ve been told Raven is a big part of this band and this album. I’ve also been told we need to dispel some negative publicity out there. So I thought we could shoot a few shots with all of you together. Is that a problem?”

  Everyone but Declan shakes their head. He looks at the ceiling and mutters ‘Fuckin A’.

  “Okay, do what I tell you.”

  Jewel puts me on the floor in the middle with my back facing the camera and positions two guys on each side. They face forward and cross their arms. Then she comes to me and removes the short robe. I throw my head back over my shoulder so my hair hits the floor so you can’t see my bra. She takes several shots and then wants to move us.

  Her assistant comes to give me the robe, and I throw it on quickly and stand up. She repositions them, and I step back in directly in front of Declan. I start to remove my robe again, and he grabs my hands.

  “No fucking way.”

  “Dec, listen to me. I’m going to be pressed up against you. I’ll take my bra off, and they will place my hands and arms where they need to be. No one will see anything. She’s not going to shoot a side angle on me. This may not even look right, but it may be ‘the shot.’”

  He stares at me with heat in his eyes and then turns to the other guys. “Turn your heads and do not fucking look around until I tell you to.”

  They groan, but I know it’s more for Declan’s benefit. The assistant removes my robe and places my face in Declan’s neck and his hands on my ass. He is instructed to look directly at the camera with his chin on my shoulders. When we have it right, Jewel tells everyone to look back at the camera and starts shooting pictures.

  When we are done, she tells everyone to leave but Declan and me and puts us in different positions but careful to always keep me covered.

  After another half hour, we are done. Declan comes with me to the dressing room and doesn’t leave my side until we walk out. No one is around, so I stop him and yank him towards me. I lift up to kiss him softly but he grips my neck and attacks my mouth.

  “Sparkle, not sure I like the stunts you pulled today, but you were sexy as sin.” He whispers against my lips.

  I try to pull back to speak, but he whispers again. “One thing I learned today is that every time you wax for the rest of your life, I’m gonna kiss every inch of it. That shit hurts.”

  I giggle against him but the butterflies in my stomach like the sound of it.

  Chapter 46

  Couples Shower

  Sunday I wake up to the smell of coffee and the radio blaring in the living room. Declan is dancing around the kitchen making breakfast, and I watch him from the doorway. He sees me and pours my mug of coffee.

  “What are you so happy for?” I smile at him.

  “The countdown is on. Three weeks from today we will be married and on our way to– Ha! I almost told you”

  “Please tell me, Dec! I really need to know what to pack, and it’s my honeymoon too!”

  “Nope. But I can help you pack, I promise.”

  “Okay buddy, but if I don’t have the right stuff, you’re going shopping with me.”

  “I promise. Now hurry up and finish your coffee. I want the proper amount of time to shower together. Then I’ll drop you off at your parents.”

  “What are you doing today?”

  “Heading to the store and then my dad’s coming here to meet me before the big party tonight.”

  “What party?”

  “Once you girls are done, your parents invited everyone for a couple’s shower. Before you get mad, I was instructed not to tell you until this morning. Your mom didn’t want you to say no.”

  “Declan, this is crazy. We are already asking our friends to travel to Florida for our wedding, we can’t expect gifts and parties too!”

  “Who says? Why can’t we enjoy the same things that other couples do? Who cares if our friends buy us a blender or shit? You’re not missing out on all this because you are marrying a rock star. You deserve it. Hell, I deserve it, and I don’t give a shit.”

  “Did you just refer to yourself as a rock star?”

  He raises his eyebrows and spins around with his arms out to his side like a fighter. “Take it in baby, you’re marrying a rock star!” he jokes.

  “You are such an idiot! Come here and kiss me good morning.”

  He kisses me gently and turns back to finish our breakfast. “You know Dec, I’ve been thinking about the charity I want to donate to. I think I want to pick two. I like the foundation that helps kids like Nate’s sister adjust to normal life outside of high school, and I also want to donate to the cancer society in honor of your mom.”

  He looks at me shocked. He doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, but shakes his head yes. “I think that’s awesome baby. Set it up. But I prefer not to mention in honor of whom. Nate and I are pretty private about that.”

  “You got it.”

  While we eat, he fills me in on the stalemate between our lawyers and MCE. Still no forward movement on locating the source, he or she is protected. There haven’t been any new pictures or stories come through, but I am still very unpopular with the Sayge fan base. I try not to think about it and instead concentrate on today. Even though I didn’t expect it, I’m glad Declan and I get to experience a wedding shower together. I don’t care about the gifts at all, but I do want the memories.

  *****

  “Fucking shit, I think my balls just shrunk. Look at all this.” Declan whispers to me when we walk in my parent’s house.

  There are balloons and flowers everywhere, and presents are stacked throughout the living room. A formal tea buffet is set up in the dining room, and tulle is draped around the stairway banisters. The rooms are so feminine that you can’t recognize even my dad’s living room.

 
“Shhh.”

  “Seriously, what happened in here?”

  “I think my mom and her assistant, Jenny, went a little crazy.”

  “It’s certainly girly.”

  I help him take the presents I brought into the living room and then we go to find my mom. She’s in the kitchen with about two dozen other women. Declan grabs my waist and pulls me to him as if to shield him from them.

  “Raven! I didn’t hear you get here.”

  “Sorry mama, we had our hands full, so we went straight to the living room.”

  The room quiets and I realize my girlfriends’ moms have never met Declan before. I do an overall intro and then walk him to the door.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “That’s fine sweetie. You do what you need to do.”

  He kisses me gently, and I lean into him holding him close. I don’t want to stop until I hear hissing behind me.

  “Seriously you two! Our moms’ are ten feet away. Can’t you hold off for a few hours?” Charlie interrupts.

  I put my forehead to his and stare into his eyes.

  “I love you.”

  “You too babe, three weeks.”

  I nod against him and then he lets himself out. I turn around and see as many people as possible crowded behind the kitchen door watching us.

  “Hi.” I wave shyly.

  *****

  “I don’t understand. How did you know?” I cry as I open the place setting of the china I have been admiring since last year.

  “Sweetie, Declan called me after your trip to Florida. He was concerned about you not getting your china. He was adamant about you being treated like a bride, and I agreed. He told me what you had been looking at, and I registered you under my name.”

  I look around the room at the presents that are similarly wrapped, and I burst into tears.

  Kendall’s mom makes it to me first and hugs me tight. “Dear child, did you think we would ever overlook your wedding?” I love her accent!

  “No, ma’am, it feels so surreal.” I look around the room at all the women I’ve known forever and smile. “Declan reminded me this morning that we will be married in less than three weeks. He is so happy and now here with y’all, I’m just overwhelmed.”

  “Rave, we’re so happy for you. This is one of the happiest times of your life.”

  “Thank you all.”

  Besides my china, I get several pieces of crystal and houseware items. When we are done, my mom serves champagne, and we eat. I tell my mom about the charities we want to look into, and she promises to get some names for me to contact.

  Around four o’ clock, Robbie walks in and looks around at us in horror. “Mom, what happened to your house? We can’t have a party with all this girly shit.”

  “Robbie!” Ember shouts.

  I whip my head to my mom and see an equally surprised look on her face. She doesn’t miss a beat and smiles widely at Ember. “Thank you Ember, I taught my son better than to talk like that.”

  Ember turns a bright shade of pink and hides her face in her hands. Robbie sets his motorcycle helmet on the entry table and comes in to greet everyone. When he gets to Ember, he pulls her into a hug and kisses her cheek softly. There are tears in my mom’s eyes.

  We clean the living room and pile my gifts in a corner as some of the moms’ clean the dining room table off to get ready for tonight’s dinner spread. My dad comes in from wherever he’s been hiding, and he and Robbie go out back to set up the patio and porch.

  I walk into the kitchen to offer to help and notice a full service crew setting up bars and appetizer stations.

  “Raven, your dad and I hired some help tonight so we can enjoy the party.”

  “This is so awesome, thank you.”

  I hug her tightly, and she whispers in my ear. “Tonight belongs to you and Declan, but tomorrow you are going to fill me in on Robbie and Ember.” I nod against her and giggle.

  Declan and David arrive at five and then the house starts filling with all the men. My parents set most of the party in the back. The have standing heaters, tiki torches and lantern lighting all around the perimeter of the patio. There’s a bar set up in the corner and light music playing over the speakers. I try to stick close to Declan, but we are pulled in opposite directions.

  I’m in the middle of explaining our wedding plans to Charlie and Kendall’s moms when I feel a squeeze on my shoulders and a light kiss on my cheek. Declan pulls me to his side and introduces himself again to the women. We talk for a few more minutes before he excuses us and leads me into the house.

  In the kitchen, he kisses me softly. “How was your party?”

  “Wonderful? I can’t believe you remembered my pattern. Thank you for helping my mom with that.”

  He doesn’t answer but kisses along my jawline delicately.

  “Cut it out, we’re bringing in the food now.” Robbie passes us with a tray of kabobs.

  The kitchen fills with people and we get in line to fix our plates. The servers walk around and refill our drinks and clean after we are finished.

  “Raven, are you going to do your wedding announcement when you get home next month or after the reception in May?” Mrs. Black asks.

  “To be honest with everything going on, I thought about holding back. I guess I need to get it together. We’ve already ordered the reception invitations to reflect it’s a celebration.”

  “Raven, don’t let those hateful people take away from your wedding. And speaking of invitations, I loved it. It was perfect for the two of you.”

  I smile at my mom and mouth ‘thank you.’ She took care of them for me once I gave her the time and the picture I wanted to use. Declan and I chose one of us in front of the marsh that Laurie had taken while we were touring around the island.

  Once everyone’s finished eating, my dad ushers us back to the patio where there are two chairs set up in the middle and a pile of unopened presents. Declan and I sit down, and he looks at me uncomfortably. I explain that we’re supposed to open them while everyone watches. At first he’s hesitant, but by the last gift, he’s enjoying himself.

  Declan and my mom were right; I did want this. I just didn’t know it.

  Chapter 47

  Wedding Weekend

  Declan

  It’s almost time. Thank fuck! We leave for Florida tomorrow. I look through my folder one last time making sure I have everything we need for the honeymoon. Raven has taken care of all our wedding paperwork and has confirmed everything with Laurie one hundred times. Our parents and a handful of our friends are on our flight tomorrow, but the rest are on a later flight.

  Jay called today and told me the reporter had a proof for us to read on the article. I promised to look over it, but wanted to wait until Raven could read it too. The photographs were also ready, and when I opened the email, I almost lost my shit. They wanted to use the pictures of her in my arms topless with the guys behind us as the cover for the magazine. The picture was cool as shit, but I was torn about thousands of people seeing it. The video was one thing, but for some reason this made my overprotective instincts kick in. As soon as we approved everything, they agreed to push the publish date up.

  Another thing on my mind was my conversation last weekend with Raven about saying our own vows. I know I’m a love sick fool, but so does everyone else. She thinks it’s easy for me since I write songs, but she’s wrong. The songs are easy and can be manipulated, but my vows to her need to be perfect. She finally agreed to our own vows, but the traditional ‘I do’s’. So every night this week, she has either been doing homework or working on her vows. I, on the other hand, tore a page out of one of the journals from last summer and tweaked it.

  I hear her pull into the garage and put away my notes. When she comes in, I can tell she’s been crying.

  “Babe, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, I had class with my group today and they gave us the most wonderful wedding present ever. So I got emotional. Then on my
way home, I started thinking about the next few days and I got emotional. Then I started thinking about anything I’ve forgotten and got emotional. So I guess you can say I’m EMOTIONAL!”

  The doorbell rings signaling our food is here, but I’m torn if I should answer it or hug her tight. I finally grab my wallet and go to the door.

  I set the food up on the kitchen island and pour her a glass of wine while I grab a beer. She’s rearranging her school bag and putting in all our wedding stuff.

  “Why are you packing your school bag?”

  “Because I need to have all our stuff including my computer so I can keep up.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding. We’re getting married, no school work.”

  “No, just want to be able to link into what is happening with Sayge while we’re gone. If I’m going to be your manager then I need to keep on top of things.”

  “Jay has it covered. You’re not taking over until you graduate.”

  “Yes but we have a whole interview to dissect and pictures to choose. And, I have to be able to keep your calendar updated. And it’s important to know if anyone posts anything else.”

  “It’s been almost a month and nothing’s happened. I think we’re safe for a few days. And what can we do about it?”

  “I know, I want to be prepared if anything pops up.”

  “This is our wedding, not a working vacation.”

  “I need to at least check in.”

  “Bullshit!” I pull her to me and frame her face with my hands. “This is ours. Let the others handle it for a while.”

  There’s a pit in my stomach when I stare into her beautiful blue eyes. She’s absolutely the most perfect thing on my world. I’ll be damned if she thinks she’s working the next eleven days.

  “Okay, Dec, they can handle it.”

  Thank Christ! I fix our plates, and she tells me about her day. When she shows me the crystal engraved picture frame from Brent, Kyle, and Mari, I’m not so sure why she got emotional. But I’m smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

  *****

  “Please can we stop at the Harris Teeter?” Raven asks Chris on our way to the island.