Bleeding Like Me

by Riley Parks

  His thoughts were interrupted by Evan reaching behind him. For a moment Jack thought he’d misread the sitch. But the Klown had taken his phone out of his back pocket.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Want to see you before that,” the redhead answered, typing his digits into Jackson’s cell. “So I’m giving you my number,” he pressed send to place a call to himself, “and taking yours.”

  Jackson narrowed his eyes, not sure what to make of the man standing before him. “Don’t fucking call me.”

  “You got a wife or something?” Evan asked, raising his eyebrows.

  “No I don’t got a fucking wife. What the fuck are you looking for?” Jack questioned when he noticed Evan’s eyes darting around the area.

  “My shirt.”

  “Tossed that shit back there,” Jackson answered with a grimace. “Look better without it. Red ain’t your color.”

  “Clashes with my hair?” Evan grinned, and Jackson scowled.

  “Not kidding about that shit,” he said gruffly, giving Evan a once-over before walking away.

  “I’m going to text you,” Evan called after him. “You said not to call but nothing about texting.”

  Jackson shot up both middle fingers without looking back and then picked up Evan’s discarded t-shirt and dumped it in the trashcan.

  “Asshole, that’s full of fucking used condoms,” he shouted as Jackson laughed all the way home.

  13

  Evan (8:45pm): Hey

  Jackson (8:49pm): What?

  Evan (8:50pm): It’s Evan

  Jackson (8:55pm): I know that. U put ur name into my phone

  Evan (8:55pm): Oh

  Evan (8:57pm): What’re u up to?

  Evan (9:00pm): ?

  Evan (9:05pm): u there?

  Jackson (9:15pm): I don’t text

  Evan (9:16pm): You’re texting right now, so you sorta do

  Evan (9:25pm): Hello?

  Jackson (9:35pm): 432 St. Lawrence Apt. 9. Come over @ 10:30 if you want to bang.

  Evan (9:37pm): C ur good @ texting. C u then.

  Jackson couldn’t help but smile as he tossed the phone onto his nightstand and made his way into the kitchen where Amy was making macaroni and cheese.

  “What’re you doing tonight?” he asked, attempting to sound casual.

  “Was going to chill here. Isaiah’s handling some business, so…” she shrugged, “I figured I’d take it easy.”

  Jackson nodded, unsure of how to approach the subject without coming off shady. He decided to with the direct angle. “I got someone coming over so if you could fuck off for like two hours, that’d be good.”

  Amy’s eyes lit up and she punched out a laugh. “Somebody met someone,” she teased in a melodic voice, smiling at her brother.

  “Stop,” he warned, trying not to grin. “Just fucking. Nothing serious.”

  “Must be kinda serious if you’re letting her come over here. Tell me about her. Is she hot? Less annoying than Tamara?”

  “Less annoying than you,” Jackson replied, earning an eye roll from his sister.

  “I’ll scarf this down and go over to Gigi’s,” she said with a wink. “I’m more than happy to get out of here anytime you want to get laid. I’m sure it will help with your wicked mood recently.”

  Jackson let out a sarcastic laugh and began cleaning some of the shit off the floor.

  “And cleaning, too,” Amy noted. “You have a crush.”

  “Fuck off,” he huffed, but he wondered if maybe he did.

  By the time he heard a knock on his apartment door, he’d scrubbed nearly every flat surface and vacuumed the carpet. He’d felt safe enough to have Evan come over since Jack’s place was out of the thick of it, plus everyone knew Amy lived here and with her and Isaiah being close, no one wanted to fuck with that.

  With ten extra minutes left before Evan arrived, Jackson had decided to prep his ass, in hopes that he could get the Daywalker in, and in, and then get him the fuck out quickly.

  Jackson found that nervous energy was surprisingly productive.

  “Hey,” Evan grunted, waiting for Jackson to wave him in. Before walking past, he leaned over and pressed a peck against Jackson’s lips. In that moment, he seriously considered telling Evan to leave, but stopped himself. Jackson didn’t do little kisses “hello.” He didn’t do little kisses at all. “This is really fucking nice.”

  Jackson tried to see the place through Evan’s eyes. The apartment was small but clean with white walls and gray furniture. Evan seemed impressed; the couch wasn’t ripped, there were no holes in the drywall, and the kitchen tiles weren’t cracked.

  “Do you have a roommate?” Evan asked, turning back from peeking at the two bedroom doors ajar across the living room from each other.

  “None of your fucking business,” Jackson bristled, not liking how comfortable the redhead seemed. Jackson walked into his bedroom, sort of annoyed when Evan followed. Jackson wanted him there, but he also wanted him to stop prying in his life.

  “That’s what I called you in my head before you told me your name,” Evan tossed out as he unzipped his backpack and let it rest on the crook of his elbow. “‘Cause that’s what you told me when I asked.”

  “You ask too many questions,” Jackson admonished, sitting down on the edge of his bed and watching as Evan pulled out a baggie of cocaine.

  “Want to bump a few lines?” He smiled when he realized that he had just asked another. Jackson lifted his eyebrows and shook his head as an adult would at a child’s antics.

  “Let me see what you got.” Jackson took the baggie from Evan then stuck his pinky into the powder.

  “It’s good stuff,” Evan defended, studying Jackson as he rubbed his finger against his gum line.

  “Nah it’s not,” Jackson replied with a grimace. “Ain’t sour enough, man. This shit was cut like three times. Not horrible, but not good. Think they used vitamin C and B twelve, maybe some talcum powder.” He handed the bag back to Evan, stood up, and walked over to his closet to pull out an eight-ball from a shoebox on the ground. “Don’t fuck around with it too much, but I do keep some for myself.”

  “So you deal?” Evan asked as Jackson used a razor blade to cut lines on the dresser.

  Jackson couldn’t believe this damn Klown couldn’t take a clue. “You ask too many fucking questions,” he repeated angrily.

  Evan threw his hands up in surrender and waited for Jackson to finish the cut.

  “Go ahead.” Jackson handed Evan a rolled-up twenty.

  The redhead leaned over and inhaled a long line, tilting his head back when he was done, then sighed as the drug hit him. “Fuck.”

  “Yeah, don’t take much,” Jackson agreed, bending over to snort his own and grinning a bit when he felt Evan’s hands rubbing his ass.

  “Perfect ass,” he whispered as he hunched over Jackson’s back and began to kiss his neck. As soon as Jack finished his line, he turned around to catch Evan’s mouth. Sucking on his tongue, gnawing on his lip, they ripped off their clothes fast. Damn, he couldn’t get enough of this hot-ass man.

  “Fuck me,” Jackson urged, climbing onto the bed and getting on his hands and knees.

  “Going to eat your ass first,” Evan muttered, about to dive in when Jackson reached back and swatted him away.

  “I don’t do that nasty shit,” he said, “and I’m already prepped so get the fuck in me.”

  “Really? That’s it? No foreplay?” Evan asked, clearly unimpressed. “We have a fucking bed. We should make the most of it.”

  “Are you going to keep complaining or are you going to get on me?” Jackson groused. He was unsure enough about having this Klown at his place; he wasn’t trying to make it a goddamn marathon fuck session.

  “How about you get on me. Ride it,” Evan prompted, lying down on his back and looking at Jackson eagerly. “Want to watch you fuck me.”

  Jackson didn’t want to admit he’d never done that since it wasn’t a practical posi
tion in the park. He’d sat on a few of his dildos when he’d fantasized about having a dude underneath him, but he’d never actually gotten on a real cock.

  Evan was looking insanely hot as he stroked his huge cock slowly, his eyes blown out from the coke and his lips puffy and pink from punches and kisses.

  Jackson clicked his tongue in surrender and reached for the condom Evan had thrown on the bed earlier. The redhead grinned and rested his hands behind his head on the pillow as Jackson rolled the rubber over that glorious thick cock.

  He hovered over the redhead, pulling his ass cheeks apart with one hand so he could line Evan’s cock up to his entry with the other. Jackson moved down on the shaft, slowly, wanting to get his bearings and give Evan show. With the drugs pulsing through his body Jackson felt freer, more open. He was willing to say things that he would have otherwise held back. “Going to be so good for you,” he murmured. He hardly recognized himself, his tone so meek and submissive.

  “Yeah?” Evan sighed. “You like that? Being good for me? Pleasing me?”

  Jackson bit his lip and nodded, moving down on his lover’s cock slowly until his ass cheeks were resting on Evan’s pelvic bone. “Yeah. I like that.”

  “Bet you want me to throw you around a little bit too. Spank that ass?” Evan patted Jackson’s butt playfully as he began to move up and down Evan’s shaft.

  “Mmm, yeah, I want it like that.”

  “I’ll give it to you however you want it.”

  “Yeah?” Jackson questioned, throwing his head back as he rolled his hips on Evan’s dick, lost in the freedom of it all. He was fucking a guy, in the bed he used to share with Tammy, in a room that had never felt like his own until that moment.

  “Plan to keep that ass nice and full of my cock. Show you how proud I get when you do what I like. You want that?”

  “Want you to be fucking proud. Want to make you feel that way.” Jackson arched his back and reached behind him to grasp onto his ankles while still rocking on Evan’s cock. The redhead couldn’t take his eyes off Jackson’s hard dick sticking straight up toward the ceiling as he rolled his body.

  “Are you real? Am I really here?” Evan asked, eyes moony. He reached down to intertwine his fingers with Jackson’s, taken aback when he batted his hand away.

  “Don’t get fucking weird,” he chided, giving Evan an unimpressed look. “Not used to the good shit. Just keep your mouth shut, all right?”

  Evan laid his head back on the pillow while Jackson leaned forward, resting his hands flat against the redhead’s chest for leverage as he popped his ass on his cock. “Get it,” Evan crooned, eyes growing wide when Jackson moved a hand up to his mouth and covered it.

  “Shut the fuck up,” he demanded, his voice breathy from his efforts. “I’m close.” He sat up straighter and used his free hand to pump his cock in sync with the rhythm of his hips. It only took a few more thrusts until he was shooting streams of jizz onto his lover’s chest. He panted as he felt Evan’s cock twitch and release deep inside of him.

  Without pause, Jackson eased himself off Evan and lay on his back a few feet away from him, hands resting on his sternum, eyes staring at the ceiling. He was crashing from the rush of the cocaine and sex, and was feeling more awkward than sated.

  “I don’t cuddle,” Evan announced as he tied off the condom and tossed it onto the floor.

  “I didn’t fucking ask you to,” Jackson scoffed, refusing to look at the man who was lying a few feet away from him. The silence was deafening; he didn’t know what to say. After a few minutes that felt like several hours, Jackson muttered, “You can go.”

  The words were hardly out of his mouth and Evan was already scrambling to throw his clothes back on, apparently unfazed by the come that had dried onto his skin.

  “Want to fuck tomorrow night?” Evan asked as he tied his shoes.

  “I don’t know, maybe,” Jackson replied, twisting to get his cigarettes off his nightstand. Before he could bring one to his lips, Evan laid a quick kiss on them and left the room.

  Jackson listened carefully to make sure the front door closed, and once it did, he jumped out of bed to lock it. He didn’t trust that the redhead wouldn’t come back and gank his shit while he slept.

  Jack feared Evan had already stolen enough.

  14

  Evan (11:35pm): U around?

  Jackson (12:27am): Am now. What?

  Evan (12:28am): Finishing up some shit. Fucking horny

  Jackson (12:30am): Got 2 hands don’t u? Use 1 of them

  Evan (12:32): Wanna C U

  Jackson sighed as he stared down at the screen of his phone, trying to will himself to pull back. Whatever it was between them couldn’t become a nightly thing. He didn’t want to become wrapped up with a fucking Klown Killer or, really, any man at all. Men were supposed to be for fucking, not for anything else, but Jack could feel himself wanting more. He’d been dealing with massive amounts of bullshit all day, and he found all he had been able to focus on was the fact that he should have kissed his lover back when he pecked him good-bye the night before. He should have let him hold his goddamn hand. He should have allowed himself to get lost in the moment and let his desires lead his way.

  It was too much, too soon. Evan had made Jackson realize that he could have feelings for a man in a way that didn’t just center around sex, which was disturbing, to say the least. He didn’t want to be like this, be gay or whatever. Enjoying getting fucked was one thing, but it was entirely different to want something more than that from a dude.

  No matter how hard he tried to control his thoughts and emotions, it seemed his mind was intent on going on a journey to learn what it all meant.

  He thought about what could happen if he denied Evan and played some sort of disingenuous game of hard to get, limiting himself when he would much rather indulge in the sexy Daywalker. Maybe Evan would hit up Humboldt to get off, fuck some other dude, and move on. A strange pang of jealousy made Jackson cringe. He didn’t want Evan with anyone else.

  Jack wanted Evan to all to himself.

  Amy was at Isaiah’s, so there was no reason, except fear, to tell Evan not to come over, and Jack was no quivering pussy.

  Jackson (12:45am): All right. How soon til ur here?

  Evan (12:45am): 10 mins. Don’t prep urself.

  Jackson rolled his eyes and tossed his phone onto the bed next to him. He didn’t know what it was about Evan that made Jack feel the way he did, but simultaneously he loved and hated it. He thought of tons of reasons why wanting Evan like this was a bad idea, but not one seemed compelling enough to turn Jack away.

  He steeled himself when he heard the knock on his door and made his way over to it, resolute in what he was going to do.

  “Hey,” Evan greeted, walking into the apartment and regarding Jackson skeptically as he hung by the door. “What?” It looked as though the redhead’s hackles were rising, like he was becoming aware that he had walked into a potentially dangerous situation. He tensed as Jackson approached.

  “Come here,” he urged, slipping his hand behind Evan’s ear to cradle the nape of his neck. Then Jack pulled him in for a kiss. From the moment their lips touched, lights exploded behind Jackson’s eyes. Evan sucked Jack’s tongue like he sucked dick. Hard and with purpose. And Jackson gave as good as he got, grabbing Evan around the waist and slamming him against Jack’s raging dick. Evan exhaled into him and Jackson swallowed the breath down, letting it swell in his lungs and consume him.

  “What was that for?” Evan gasped once they pulled apart.

  “Told you, you ask too many questions,” Jackson chided, rubbing his thumb against his bottom lip as he admired Evan’s.

  “Wasn’t fucking complaining.” He regarded Jackson with a squint and a wry smile. “You’re hard to read, you know that?”

  “Like you’re easy?” Jackson shot back with raised eyebrows.

  Evan shrugged. “Never said I was.” He stared through him as if he wasn’t fazed in the least by t
he assertion. Like he’d heard shit like that his whole life, but had never found himself with someone who made him guess. “You’re defensive.”

  “And you’re not?”

  “Not really, no.” Evan shook his head.

  “Got to be if you want to survive,” Jackson preached. “You should know that.”

  “Guess I don’t care.”

  “About surviving?” Jack couldn’t understand that shit. He regarded Evan and realized the redhead seemed different than he had the other times Jack been around him, more flat and apathetic.

  “Yeah.” Evan nodded. “I do, so I don’t really think about it.”

  Jackson wondered who had fucked Evan up so bad, and examined why Jack felt compelled to look out for him. “Can tell you’re new to the street.” Jackson gestured for Evan to follow him the few feet over to the kitchen.

  “Wrong. Grew up on the street,” he stated with a tsk. “I’ve been on my own since I was seventeen and before that…” He trailed off, as if his life story wasn’t worth telling.

  Jackson studied Evan for a moment to see if he was going to add anything else, and when he didn’t, Jack clarified, “New to the gang then.” He opened the refrigerator. “They catch you slipping once and there won’t be a twice. Want a beer?”

  “Thanks.” Evan stretched out his arm to take the beer. Before he could pull back, Jackson grabbed his wrist and Evan narrowed his eyes. “What?”

  “Guess I know what you were up to tonight,” Jackson stated, noticing the maroon paint on Evan’s fingers. He pulled his arm back then made his way over to the couch. “They got you tagging?”

  “Among other things,” Evan replied, as Jackson sat down on the couch next to him. “Who’s asking a lot of questions now?”

  Jackson gave him the middle finger. “Can’t stand the color.” He really couldn’t. For as long as he could remember, maroon and blue were synonymous with fucking bottom feeders. There were many gangs on the South Side and most of them didn’t really get under Jack’s skin, but the KKz did. They were always trailing behind Dem Demonz trying to take things that they’d established and make them their own. The Klowns didn’t put in the work, and Jackson couldn’t fucking stand leeches. It was hard to think of Evan like that, mostly because Jack didn’t fucking want to.