Always Been You

by Beverley Kendall

  Liv nods in agreement. “Yeah, Zach doesn’t need to see it either. Actually, I’m going to ban him from watching anything on YouTube for the next month.”

  I gaze down at them. “Oh puleeze. After all the hysteria dies down, right? Your boyfriends wouldn’t have me on a silver platter.” No lie. Zach and Scott are both head over heels in love with their girlfriends. They see me strictly as a friend—sort of like Troy, except they’ve never had sex with me. But other than that, it’s the same.

  “You on a silver platter?” Bec tips her head back slightly as she scrutinizes me from head to toe. “I don’t know about that because that might even tempt me.”

  I giggle. “Honestly, you two are ridiculous. Anyway, you should be studying and not watching tabloid TV.”

  Liv closes her laptop and stands. “Actually, I have two hampers of clothes to wash.”

  Rebecca follows her to her feet. “Me too.”

  I retrieve the remote from the coffee table and switch off the TV. “Yeah, show’s over. Nothing to see here. Move along.” I make a motion of shooing them away, and as they head off to their bedrooms, I grab my books and purse from the kitchen counter and take them to my room. There, I change into my comfy house clothes, which consists of a pair of fuchsia yoga pants (not too snug) and a faded blue t-shirt. As I’m making my way back to the kitchen to see what I can scrounge up for dinner, I poke my head into Liv’s room.

  The walls, like all the walls in the apartment, are your standard white, but everything else—her bedding, the throw rug at the foot of her bed—are either pale pink or dove gray, her favorite colors.

  Two piles of clothes sit at her feet, and she’s tugging more out of her leather overnight bag.

  I take a detour into her room. “How much of this stuff did you have at Zach’s?”

  She shrugs. “Just a couple outfits.”

  I huff a laugh. “More like five, six or seven outfits.”

  Liv smiles. “Or something like that.”

  I chuckle softly. “It’d make more sense if you just moved in with him.” This is a weekly routine with both her and Rebecca. Almost every weekend they pack up their overnight bags to spend the weekends with their boyfriends, and a couple days during the week when school isn’t hectic or Zach isn’t gone on an away game.

  Liv shoots me a glance over her shoulder as she reaches into the bag and pulls out the red-and-white sundress I made for her last year. One of my favorite pieces. “And leave you? Never.”

  “I’m serious.”

  “So am I.” She smiles.

  I tilt my head and study her closely. “Wait, you wouldn’t move in with Zach because of me?”

  Liv gets a cautious look in her eyes. “Well…yeah. I love living with you and Rebecca.”

  “But wouldn’t you like living with Zach more?” I know she would. “You’re there at least half of the time as it is. Or hasn’t he asked you? Is that it?”

  She hurriedly averts her gaze from mine and drops her dress into one of the hampers. “Umm—”

  “Oh my God, he has asked, hasn’t he?” I take a step closer to her.

  “Well, maybe,” she hedges, still unable to look me in the eye.

  “And you said no?”

  The accusatory tone of my voice brings her gaze up to mine. “Yes, I said no. I live here…with you and Rebecca.”

  I narrow my eyes. “So you wouldn’t want to live with him? Your final year?”

  Liv’s never been able to lie to my face without looking guilty as hell. “I don’t want to leave you.”

  I soften my tone. “Liv, you’ll be one floor down.”

  “You’d have to get another roommate.”

  “I’d ask Em. She’s more than ready to get out of the dorm.” Everyone knows dorm living is for freshman and Emily will be a junior come September.

  “Okay, what am I missing?” Rebecca’s question announces her arrival.

  Without removing my gaze from Liv, I reply, “Liv is moving in with Zach,” daring her to contradict me.

  “Really?” Rebecca sounds shocked. “I thought—”

  My attention immediately focuses on Rebecca. “You thought what?”

  She shakes her head vigorously and hastily replies, “Nothing. Nothing.”

  Bullshit. “You thought what?”

  My friends exchange guilty looks and that’s when it hits me.

  “You too? Scott asked you to move in with him didn’t he?”

  My question is met with sheepish blushes and shifting eyes.

  “And you said no because you didn’t want to abandon me, right?”

  “Not exactly,” Rebecca replies.

  “BS.”

  Both give me wary looks.

  I let out a loud laugh. “You guys are the best.” I wrap my arms around them and pull them to me. “But you don’t have to worry about me. Em will jump at the chance to move in and I’m sure we can drum up someone else. Go and tell your boyfriends that you’ve changed your mind. I give you permission.”

  Liv still looks uncertain. “April—”

  I hold up my hand to halt whatever she’s going to say. “I don’t want to hear another word. You’re moving. Do you have any idea how guilty I feel paying a third of the rent when you guys are hardly ever here? It’s time to put your bedrooms to good use.”

  They both look like they want to protest but they know what I’m saying makes sense. After a lengthy silence, Liv asks, tentatively, “Are you sure?”

  “Let me put it this way, I’ll be pissed if you don’t move out. I need roommates who’re going to put this apartment to good use. And I’m positive Em will.”

  Rebecca takes her cell phone out of her pocket and starts typing.

  Liv and I glance at each other, brows furrowed. “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “I’m telling Scott you just kicked me out and I’m going to need somewhere to live,” she replies with a smirk.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Monday

  If two weeks of finals is hell on wheels, today I should be riding shotgun. I fuckin’ nailed my Network Security exam.

  Nailed the motherfucker!

  But I don’t leave the classroom feeling the high that normally comes with it because of all the crap that happened this weekend.

  Melissa’s meltdown turned out to be child’s play compared to what’s going on with April.

  Child’s play.

  This isn’t my ego talking, but I’m still trying to get over the fact that April cares more about her relationship with Johnson than the one she has with me.

  Me, her best fuckin’ friend.

  A friendship that’s lasted longer than most marriages.

  I don’t get why she feels the need to lie to him about shit that’s really none of his business. That, right there, is wrong on so many levels. It’s not like she cheated on him. God, he didn’t even know her back then. It’s like she wished it’d never happened. That if she could take it back, she would.

  Despite everything, I’ve never regretted having sex with her and I’m sure as hell not going to lie about it. Then she expects me to drop my plans to go out with her. As close as I’d come to jumping all over her invitation, I’d remembered I’m not a dog and I don’t appreciate the bone she’d thrown me.

  I’d told April I wasn’t mad anymore. Well I lied.

  I take the stairs to the first floor of the technology building. Down here is where they house the labs. My cell vibrates against my thigh, and I fish it out from my pocket. I look at the screen to see who’s texting me and whether I want to be bothered responding.

  The thing has been quieter since things ended with Mel.

  April: How long are u going to give me the silent treatment? I need to add the date to my calendar.

  I gotta give it to her, she’s good, using humor to break two full days of silence.

  Me: 2morrow at 1:00 PM EST. Not a second earlier.

  April: Ok. I just added it and set a reminder. 

  Me: I expect
a home cooked meal this weekend.

  April: U know I can’t cook.

  Me: Yes u can. U just don’t like to…

  April: Same thing.

  Me: No it’s not.

  April: Sigh. Oooookaaayyy. But this is absolutely the last time.

  Me: Until the next time. ;)

  April: Ha! Ttyt at 1:00 PM. Bff4ever

  I grin.

  Me: Later.

  “Hey, Troy.”

  I look to my left and see Dana Smith, one of the Warwick Warrior cheerleaders hurrying to catch up with me.

  I force a smile because of the manners my parents ingrained in me. “Hey, Dana.”

  She falls into step beside me as we traverse the concrete path from the building to the parking lot.

  This isn’t the first time she’s managed to get me alone. I know she likes me but I can’t say I feel the same way about her. She’s pretty—nice body, long, light-brown hair and blue eyes, with a small gap in her front teeth—but behind her pep-rally smile and soft Southern accent lies the soul of a spiteful, jealous, gossiping bitch. She’s one of those girls who can’t stand any girl prettier than her. Needless to say, April is enemy number one on her list.

  “I can’t wait till I’m done with finals,” she offers in way of idle conversation.

  “I hear ya.”

  Hesitantly, she keeps glancing at me without saying a word. After she does it for the umpteenth time, it’s impossible to keep my impatience from showing. “What?” I ask sharply.

  “I-I heard about Melissa.” Her voice is soft with fake sympathy, her gaze downcast.

  It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. “Heard what?”

  She raises her gaze to mine. “That you guys broke up.”

  News sure travels fast. I shrug. “Yeah, well, these things happen.”

  She gives me an understanding smile. “I heard about what happened at the restaurant, so if you ever want to talk…”

  Is she serious? I decide to play dumb. “What happened at which restaurant?”

  Her expression comes alive, her eyes shining. “You know, how April ruined your date, and all the crap she said to poor Melissa.”

  What. The. Fuck?

  Dana sounds almost apologetic when she rushes on to say, “I know April’s your friend and everything, but what she did wasn’t cool.”

  My blood and temper heats beyond the boiling point. I draw in a deep, calming breath and I swear I actually see stars.

  I come to a stop, turn to her, and look her in the eye. “I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but all it is is a pack of fuckin’ lies, got it? So why don’t you do yourself a favor and get the story right before you start spreading it all over campus.”

  Clutching her books to her chest, Dana’s eyes widen in shock and her lips part.

  I leave her stewing in her own shit, as I put as much distance between us as possible.

  Bitch.

  Both of them. Mel and her. Because I have no doubt Mel is behind smearing April’s name into dirt. And Dana and her bitchy friends are only too happy to lend a hand.

  As I near the asphalt of the parking lot, I glimpse Dana beating a hasty retreat in the other direction.

  Good. I bet she’ll stay the hell away from me from now on.

  My blood has cooled to a simmer when I finally reach my car. Just as I’m about to open the door, I hear, “Hey, Ridgefield, you got a sec?” behind me.

  I close my eyes in defeat.

  Fuck. It’s Johnson.

  The absolutely last person I want to have to deal with. Ever.

  I turn to see him coming toward me at a light jog. As usual, he’s dressed more like some starchy, country club goer than a twenty-something college student. Seriously, doesn’t the guy own a pair of jeans?

  He slows and stops in front of me, sweeping a hand through his hair. A hundred bucks says he blow-dries it, and that styling products are involved. He’s that type.

  I let the hand holding my car keys fall to my side and lower my backpack to the ground.

  “What’s up?” I ask, trying hard not to sound as if the mere sight of his face doesn’t bug the shit out of me.

  “I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Friday.”

  Really? Do I look like I want to rehash that disaster of an evening? I’m not a fuckin’ girl.

  “There’s nothing to talk about.” I’m certainly not discussing mine and April’s relationship with him.

  “Nah dude. It’s not like that. April told me everything. I know nothing like that ever happened between you, so…” He flashes me a tight smile as if to say, “Hey, we’re cool,” in a strained sort of way.

  I stare back at him. Unsmiling.

  “And what if something like that had happened between us–me and April? Then what?” I challenge, feeling fairly aggressive and more than a little territorial.

  Whatever fake goodwill he’d managed to drum up for our “heart-to-heart”—when he didn’t think I’d had sex with his girlfriend—gets crushed between his eyebrows as they clash over the bridge of his nose.

  “What are you saying? That your girlfriend wasn’t lying?” he asks in a voice fifty degrees cooler than before.

  “She isn’t my girlfriend,” I reply, my irritation with him growing.

  His mouth thins. He says nothing as he stares narrowly at me. After several seconds of icy silence, he says, “Look, I know April considers you a friend—

  “I’m her best friend.” He needs to get this shit right.

  “—but whatever else you may have had going on with her, that’s the past. It’s over. She’s with me now.”

  I blink once. Slowly, I look to my left, and then to the right. Nope, there’s no one else around, which means this asswipe is talking to me. I just needed to be sure.

  I return my gaze to his. “And you felt the need to tell me this, why?” I refuse to give this idiot the satisfaction of knowing that he’s getting to me. The thought of April and him together is more than I can bear right now.

  He squares his shoulders and juts out his chin as if that’s supposed to intimidate me. Ask me if I’m scared.

  “I just want things to be clear between us.”

  I give a wry laugh. “Things don’t need to be clear between us. I’m not the one going out with you.” I can’t wait for April to lose this idiot. My bet is they won’t last another month.

  “Look, I’m just trying to keep the peace.”

  No. After what Melissa told him, it’s obvious he still sees me as a threat to his relationship. And you know what? He should, because I am. But I’m not going to admit that to him.

  “Yeah, well don’t do me any favors,” I reply dismissively and turn to my car, turning my back on him.

  “She’s with me now. Remember that.”

  I don’t allow myself to visibly react, calmly unlocking the car door. Before getting in, I angle my head over my shoulder, eyeing him coldly as I unclench my locked jaw. “Don’t fool yourself, Johnson. I was there before you, and I’ll be there long after you’re gone.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  The drive home is less than five minutes—three if I make the light at the corner. Today I do. I take the stairs up to the apartment instead of the elevator. It’s a waste of time if you’re only going to the second floor.

  Pearson glances up from the notebook open in front of him when I enter the dining area. Spread around him and covering almost every inch of the table is a mountain of textbooks and stacks of lined paper.

  He takes one look at my face and frowns. “I take it things didn’t go well?”

  “No, the exam was cake,” I reply. My run-in with that a-hole Johnson is still fresh in my mind and I guess it shows.

  He doesn’t look convinced. “Then what’s with the scowl?”

  I slide into the chair across from him, still gripping my car keys. “Have I ever told you that April has really shit taste in guys?”

  Pearson pushes back from the table and reclin
es in his chair. An amused smile edges his mouth. “Maybe once or twice. What gives?”

  I tell him about what happened with Johnson and by the time I’m done talking, Pearson’s shoulders are shaking with laughter. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”

  “And by that you mean…?”

  “That he took the passive-aggressive approach with you.”

  “What other approach did you expect him to take?”

  Pearson shrugs. “I’m surprised he said anything to you at all.”

  “True. But the guy’s got a lot of fuckin’ nerve. I don’t see what April sees in him.”

  “You’re not supposed to,” my friend points out dryly. “But then, you don’t see what April sees in any of the guys she goes out with.”

  True. “Yeah, I don’t get her,” I mutter.

  There are several beats of silence and then Pearson laughs, throwing up his hands. “God, why can’t you just admit it? No guy is ever going to be good enough for her. You can’t stand them for no other reason than they’re going out with her.”

  “No, that’s not it.”

  Pearson simply stares at me, eyebrow raised, obviously unconvinced. He’s mostly wrong. Okay, maybe half wrong. But I’m not wrong when I said April’s tastes in guys suck. She’s gorgeous, funny and smart. It stands to reason that she has to have at least one major flaw.

  “I’m wrong, huh?” A calculating gleam enters his eyes. “Okay, then name one guy you wouldn’t mind her going out with. Just one. And he has to be someone close to her league, which means someone she’d actually consider going out with. Shoot.”

  My mind goes blank. I got nothing. And the bastard knows it. “Are you talking about my friends or one of the guys on the team?” Norris instantly comes to mind. No fuckin’ way. Never gonna happen.

  “Anyone. One guy you’d be okay dating her.” Then his voice drops low and he goes for the jugular by adding, “One guy you’d be okay having sex with her.”

  My jaw tightens and the back molars clash in a death match. I have to forcibly stop myself from rising to the bait he just cast.

  Rat bastard.