Always Been You

by Beverley Kendall

  I’m floating so high up on cloud nine, it takes a couple seconds to come down low enough to remember bad news had preceded the good.

  Oh yeah, Bill Keets and his comments.

  But because of him I’m going to make more in the next two months than I made all of last year.

  And I’m going to Italy this summer!

  Whoever thought there’d be an upside to Bill Keets’ crass, locker-room comments?

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  The news about Keets’ comments broke in the morning. I heard about it—then subsequently heard the audio—right after my stat exam care of Moose. By the afternoon, wherever I went, students were talking about it and by six, after my last final of the day, my emotions have covered the gamut: surprised, concerned and perturbed. Now I’m plain pissed the fuck off.

  Anyone who hadn’t seen the video of April before has seen it now. All because of that asshole Keets. I hope the guy does lose his fuckin’ job. The guy is old enough to be her father, I don’t care how good-looking women think he is. And what the hell is “barely black” anyway? It’s not a fucking race. She’s biracial moron. Deal with it. Christ, if I could, I’d kick his ass back to which part of the South he’s from.

  I stop in front of April’s apartment and knock hard on the door before trying the knob. I’m annoyed when it turns easily in my hand. I push it open.

  “Jesus Christ, April, I keep telling you to lock this fuckin’ door.” When was the break in upstairs, six days ago?

  “I really to because that’s apparently the only way I’m going to be able to stop you from barging right on in,” she says, coming from the kitchen toward me.

  She’s wearing a sleeveless blue shirt and cut-off blue jeans, and momentarily stops all my brain activity. Damn that gorgeous face, those eyes, those legs…and that ass. The same ass that’s the cause of all the attention raining down on her right now.

  “You’ve been on every news entertainment show there is. Every news cast is talking about what that dickhead Keets said about you.”

  She gives me a rueful smile and I notice flour lightly dusting her hands and cheek. “I know. It’s crazy, right? I swear, the media is making a big stinking deal about nothing.”

  I look at her in surprise and follow her into the kitchen. On the counter is a large ceramic bowl containing chocolate cookie dough. My favorite. She grabs a spoon and begins to place scoops of the dough onto the baking pan.

  “You think it’s nothing?”

  She glances over at me, eyebrows raised. “What did he say that was so offensive?”

  I simply stare at her, drawing a blank. Not a blank at what was offensive about the guy’s comment but with her blasé attitude.

  “What are you talking about? Not only am I personally offended but I’m also offended for you.”

  “Why, because he’s a Southern white man whose preference usually veers toward blonde and buxom?”

  “Because you don’t talk about any woman like that.” I lean back against the counter.

  April straightens and slaps a hand on her hip while the other one holds the spoon. “Oh puleeeze. You’ve gotta be kidding me. Guys say stuff about women a thousand times worse.”

  Okay, I can’t dispute that. “Yeah but this isn’t two guys talking shit about a girl at a bar or by themselves. He’s a fucking sportscaster on TV.”

  “Right. Who didn’t know that his mic was still on. He didn’t say it on the air,” she argues, waving her spoon around.

  I shake my head in disbelief. “I can’t believe you’re defending him.”

  “I’m not defending him, I just don’t think it’s a big deal. And if I’m not offended and it’s about me, I don’t know why the hell anyone else would be.”

  “You don’t understand—”

  “No you don’t get it. Beauty can trump every prejudice we have that’s all this means. He’s attracted to me despite the fact that I’m half black. He can ignore that because he thinks I’m attractive.”

  My mouth snaps shut. I can’t even remember what I was in the midst of saying because everything she just said is the truth. Everything.

  “And that doesn’t bother you?” I look at her now and I don’t see her as anything but beautiful inside and out. The beautiful curly-haired girl I grew up with. My best friend.

  She chuckles, her green eyes dancing. “That men find me beautiful? Believe me, my life could be a whole lot worse.”

  I grunt. “You know what I mean.”

  She resumes scooping and placing the cookie dough on the sheet. “I stopped caring what people I don’t know think of me years ago. I am who I am. I can’t change the way people see me anymore than I can change how I look.”

  A smile tugs at my lips. “No one wants you to do that.”

  She returns my smile and my dick responds to it in spades. “Okay, let me get these babies baking.”

  Turning, she bends down and opens the door to the oven. The sight I’m treated to makes me think I’ve died and gone to heaven. April in a snug-fitting pair of denim shorts is something to behold. Heaven to look at. Hell that she’s off limits until after I move in.

  “When I’m done, I’ll tell you the good news.”

  My eyes jerk up to see her glance at me over her shoulder. She’s grinning so wide I don’t think she caught the previous direction of my heated stare or her ass would have been on fire.

  “Then hurry up.” To get my mind off how badly I want to get her naked, I figure I need to quench the other thirst in me. I walk over and open the fridge. “Got anything cold to drink?” I ask as I take in the neatly lined containers of food, the bottled water and the loads of fruits and vegetables in the bottom drawers.

  “Just the wine coolers and soda. You guys finished all the beer Wednesday.”

  I grimace at the girly drinks and grab a can of Coke. More than happy to escape the heat of the kitchen—the oven and my sizzling-hot best friend—I head for the living room. There I spot a stack of magazines piled on the center table. Curiosity and boredom has me picking up the one on the top. Victoria’s Secret. Yeah, maybe I’ll give this one a try. I make myself comfortable on the couch.

  April walks in a minute later, her apron off, leaving her midriff bare.

  “Vic’s in that one.” She nods at the magazine in my hand.

  Before I started crushing on April, I crushed on her sister. There’s a five-year age difference between them but the resemblance between them is uncanny.

  “What page?” I begin to flip through it quickly, my eyes peeled for Victoria.

  “You haven’t got a chance,” she says, smirking. She still teases me about the crush.

  I waggle my eyebrows. “Doesn’t stop me from looking.”

  She makes a derisive sound in her throat before saying, “Oh, do you think you can do me a favor?”

  “Sure, what?”

  “My car’s in the shop getting the airbags replaced. I’m getting a ride with Liv to class tomorrow but I’ll need a ride home. Can I hitch one with you?”

  “What time?” I have one final in the morning and the last one Wednesday afternoon.

  “Sometime after three. But I’ll text you when I’m finished.” Then she adds, “If you can’t, I’ll just have to walk. It’s not that far.”

  I snort. “I can’t see you walking two and a half miles in heels. Plus it’s supposed to rain tomorrow.”

  When she continues to look at me expectantly, I say, “Of course I’ll give you a ride home.”

  She bestows me with one of her dazzling, heart-stopping smiles, and all I want to do is pull her down onto my lap and press a kiss against the smooth column of her neck.

  “So do you want to hear the good news or what?” Her tone makes it more a demand than a question. As if she’s daring me to say no.

  I smile, feeling indulgent. “Go ahead, tell me.”

  “Because of all the stuff with the sportscaster, I’ve started getting more modeling offers. You know the saying, any publicity is goo
d publicity. Well in this case, it’s true.”

  “That’s great.” If she’s happy about it, I’m happy. I am.

  “I haven’t even told you the best part.” Her breath hitches during a pause. “I’m going to Italy for a week this summer.” By the end of her statement, her voice is several decibels higher.

  Wow. That’s a big fuckin’ deal.

  She’s gone from shifting from one foot to the other, to jumping up and down. I haven’t seen April this excited in a long time. Orgasms fall under a different category of excitement, so I’m not going there.

  Laughing, I put the can of soda down on the side table and stand. She immediately launches herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck. I try to ignore how great she smells—not too sweet but deliciously feminine—and the way her boobs are rubbing against my chest as she continues to bounce on the balls of her feet.

  There’s a word for what I’m going through right now. Sweet fuckin’ torture. But I know if she had the faintest idea how much her boob bouncing and all this touching is turning me on, there’s no way she’d allow me to step one foot in this apartment. I can’t make a move on her until after I’m moved in here. It’ll be a lot harder to kick me out if I have nowhere to go.

  “That’s fantastic.” I have to bite back a groan and make a conscious effort to keep my hands from venturing from her tiny waist.

  One last bounce and she drops back down onto her heels, her hands resting lightly on my shoulders. Her face is aglow, her eyes bright and the smile on her face infectious as hell.

  Arrested, I can’t help but devour the sight of her. I want to kiss her so bad, it becomes a physical ache in my gut.

  Reaching up, she presses a lip-smacking kiss on my cheek. Not the kind I desperately want but I have no choice but to settle with it because it’s all I’m going to get. Right now, I’m in the biding-my-time stage.

  “As Catherine says, there is a silver lining to all this mess.”

  Since she has yet to break our physical contact, I keep my arms loosely around her waist and smile down at her. “I’d say. When do you go?”

  “Sometime in August I think. I’m waiting for her to FedEx me the contracts.”

  I raise an eyebrow. “Contracts as in plural?”

  She hits me with another beaming smile. “I’ll also be going to LA. You know what would be good, is if you could come.”

  Oh I can definitely come. Actually, give me fifteen minutes and I could have us both coming right here. It takes me a second to drag my mind from out of the gutter and ask, “Come to LA?”

  “Yeah. Scott and Rebecca will be there for a couple weeks during the summer. We could make another trip out of it.”

  She steps back and I reluctantly drop my hands to my sides. “I’ve got to check on the cookies,” she says as she hurries to the kitchen. And like a heat-seeking missile, my gaze instantly zeroes in on her ass.

  It seems ever since I decided that I want to give us a shot, I can’t stop thinking about her. I can’t stop wanting her. The thought of her with anyone else but me drives me around the bend.

  “What do you think?” she calls out from the kitchen. “We should make a summer trip out of it. All of us,” she adds as if I don’t know that’s what she means. I want to say, How about if it’s just us? The two of us. But that’s not going to wash with her…not yet.

  “I don’t know. Practice starts in August. Liv and Zach are going home between summer classes. I think it’d be hard for us to coordinate our schedules.” I walk over but remain on the other side of the kitchen counter and watch as she opens the oven to examine the cookies.”

  “A couple more minutes,” she announces. “I don’t want them too squishy.”

  I take a seat on the stool.

  “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” She sighs. “This is going to be our last year together. The last time we’ll all be able to hang out like this, so we have to make the most of it.”

  Perfect opening. “Pearson and I were talking about that the other day. How different it’s going to be when we graduate. It’ll be practically the first time in our entire lives we’re going to be apart.”

  Placing the oven gloves on the counter beside the stove, April drops her gaze and suddenly she’s no longer smiling. “I know,” she says softly. “It’s going to be weird.”

  Weird? How about unbearable? Of course I don’t say that. “Or maybe we’ll end up in the same state, the same city. Who knows?”

  She lifts her gaze to mine and emits a dry laugh. “I guess it all depends on what team you end up playing for.”

  “That’s assuming I get drafted.”

  “You will.” She says it with such confidence, the need to kiss her hits me like a powerful blow to the gut. Okay, everything she does these days makes me want to kiss her, but her faith in me is its own turn on.

  “We’ll see,” I mutter. If everything goes right I expect to be drafted, which would be the culmination of a lifelong dream. It seems bittersweet if that means it would take me away from her.

  But you’re not going to lose her asshole. The next year is going to be all about making sure that doesn’t happen.

  “Hey.” She walks over, reaches across the counter and places her hands over mine. She has pretty hands, her fingers long and slim. “Are you thinking about how much you’re going to miss me?” There’s something else in her voice besides the teasing tone. An emotion with more weight and gravity.

  I grin. “Nope. Not even close.” Wherever I go, she’s going with me.

  She feigns a scowl and sticks out her tongue. “You’re going to miss seeing me like crazy. But don’t worry, I’m going to drag my boyfriend to as many of your football games as I can. Which means he’s going to have to love football.”

  I do the best I can to hold my smile in place. “He’d better.” I play along as if I believe there’s going to be some other guy. For her, there’s only ever going to be me, which is something she’ll realize soon enough.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Before I started dating Colin, I never used to see him around campus. We weren’t in each other’s classes and if he was at any of the parties I attended, I don’t remember seeing him. We actually met at the gas station across from the school.

  After we broke up, I thought the chances of us seeing each other were slim to none. But the following day, there he is on his way into the library as I’m on my way out.

  “Hi.” My voice is bright and friendly, the way I’d like all our interactions to be. No hard feelings is the way I like to leave things with my exes.

  The smile that lights his hazel eyes makes me wish things had worked out between us. He is a good guy, if somewhat on the conservative, rigid side. “Hi April. It’s good to see you.” He turns and follows me outside into the overcast day. Notebook and textbook in one hand, I’m clutching an umbrella in the other, prepared for the forecasted afternoon rainfall. We remain under the portico and clear of the in-and-outgoing foot traffic.

  “How have you been?” I ask.

  He tips his chin at the library door and replies with a rueful smile, “About to cram for my last final.”

  I glance down at my six-hundred-page textbook and give a short laugh. “I know what you mean.”

  Silence.

  Colin clears his throat as he runs his gaze over me. “I see you’re making the news these days.”

  On a sigh, I briefly send my gaze skyward. “Yeah, suddenly I’m infamous. I met with the dean this morning. He wanted to discuss how the school was going to address the situation.”

  That had been fun times, meeting with Dr. Stratowicz. Apparently various media stations had contacted the school to confirm my status as a student here. They’d also wanted to know about my grades, and whether I’d been granted any consideration due to my modeling.

  Good to know the beautiful, dumb model cliché is alive and kicking. That had insulted me more than Keets and Lazzio’s comments had. When I’d heard that, I’d wanted to send them copies of
my last report card comprised of As and Bs.

  Dr. Stratowicz had assured me they’d only confirmed my attendance. They’d also threatened to press criminal trespassing charges if they were to step foot on school property.

  “Did he give you a hard time?” Colin asks.

  “It wasn’t too bad.”

  “While we’re aware we can’t tell you how to handle this…matter, the school would appreciate you not speaking to the media at this time. We are asking all of the students to adhere to this also. Media presence on the campus is a distraction at any time, but especially during the final days of exams.”

  I’d wholeheartedly agreed with him and apologized for the distraction.

  Colin nods, his expression serious. “You never told me your sister was a model.”

  I snort softly. “My brother is one of the top-ten high-school baseball recruits and we didn’t talk about that either.”

  “You know that’s not the same.”

  “Colin, we hardly ever talked about my sister.” We rarely talked about my family.

  He shakes his head. “It’s weird. We went out for three months and I’m only now realizing how much I don’t know about you.”

  He’s right. When we’d gotten personal like that, we mostly talked about his family. His wealthy and influential family who own a stable full of prized racehorses.

  I shrug and say nothing because what is there to say? None of that makes a difference anymore. Our relationship was what it was.

  Raindrops hit the steps that lead to the entrance, spotting the red bricks.

  “Have you found a roommate yet?” he asks, changing the subject.

  Oh crap.

  After recovering a momentary sense of panic, I lie without blinking. “We have a few prospects but we’re still looking. Have you found a place?”

  His smile turns slightly sheepish. “I decided to stay put.”

  Not a surprise. But since I just barefaced lied to him, I can’t call him on his. So I simply nod in understanding.

  He looks out at the increasing rainfall as if searching for words, before his gaze returns to mine. “Are you seeing anyone?”