Queen of His Heart III

by Lena Hart

  That was too weak a word to describe what they just shared.

  Carlos had never felt this way about a woman—never felt this with a woman. Broken yet whole, powerful but weak.

  He brushed his lips across her shoulders and up to her neck until he fitted his lips against hers for a long, all-consuming kiss.

  He knew, at that moment, he loved her. Loved her with everything he had. She had fought him long enough, but after tonight, she couldn’t deny that there was something stronger than just lust between them. What they’d shared was far more Earth shattering.

  Carlos pulled away and stared down at her soft, sated expression. Her eyes were closed as she lazily rubbed his back and shoulders. He stared down at their bodies, hypnotized by their merging, which were still joined together. He rubbed his palm over her soft, smooth thighs. He wished there was more light coming into the bedroom so he could see all of her clearly, see what shade of brown her nipples were.

  “No puedo creer que eres toda mía.” He brought his hand up to her soft breasts and placed a soft kiss on her jaw. “And no one else can have you.”

  She grew rigid beneath him and the sudden change in her startled him.

  One moment she was stroking his back with tender abandon, the next she was shoving wildly at his shoulders.

  Carlos rolled away from her and she scrambled out of the bed, pulling the sheets with her.

  “Judith, what—”

  “You have to go.” Her eyes were wide as she frantically wrapped the single sheet around her.

  He stared at her, stunned. “What? Why?”

  She shook her head. “I need you to go,” she shrieked. “You can’t spend the night. I don’t want you to spend the night!”

  “Why not?” he asked again, holding on to his patience. “Tell me what’s wrong. What did I do?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” she said in a detached voice. She was looking at him but even her gaze was distant. “This was just a one night thing. That’s all. Now, I need you to leave. Please.”

  Anger and irritation flared up in him, but Carlos reined it in. Why did she continue to fight her feelings for him? She’d been climbing and falling right along with him, sharing in the most intense kind of intimacy—one he’d never experienced with any other woman—and yet she was making it seem as if it had meant nothing.

  She was trying to reduce them to some cheap one-night stand, but he’d be damned if he’d let her lessen them to that.

  He inched off the bed and she backed away from him. That only heightened his anger.

  “Fine,” he said tersely, jumping from the bed. “I’ll leave.”

  But before she could move, he grabbed the sheet and hauled her to him, wrapping his arms firmly around her. He managed to trap her arms at her side as he pulled her onto his lap.

  She offered no struggle. Instead, she sat rigid and silent against him.

  “Why are you acting like this?” he asked gruffly. “What is this about?”

  She simply shook her head. “I don’t… W-we had a good time, Carlos. Nothing more.”

  Carlos didn’t want to hear that. And it didn’t sound like the woman who had burned with raw passion under his touch not too long ago.

  “Who’s talking right now?” he growled. “It’s definitely not the woman who hugged around me so tightly, I almost came just entering you.” He pulled her closer to him. “You were on fire beneath me, muñeca. We were magic together. What changed?”

  She was clearly trying to remain unmoved by their lovemaking, as if she was accustomed to having one-night stands. But the way she had squeezed around him, so snug, he knew she hadn’t been with a lot of men. Yet, she tried to put on this facade and send him off. He wasn’t going anywhere without answers.

  She remained silent, not acknowledging or denying his claim or giving him any indication that this meant something—that he meant something—to her. Carlos replayed the last moments before she had reacted this way. He couldn’t think of what he had done to bring this on and she obviously wasn’t going to tell him. Not freely anyway.

  From the rigidity still locking her body, and the stark, wide-eyed stare she had given him, he wondered…

  “Are you afraid of me?”

  She stiffened further and to his surprise and disappointment, she nodded.

  “Why?” he asked, easing his hold on her. Though he was grateful for her honesty, he was still floored by her response. “If you’re afraid of me, why did you let me make love to you?”

  Still, she said nothing.

  He brought his hand under her chin and turned her face to his. He was shocked by the unshed tears gathered in her eyes. The sadness in her eyes tugged at him and he realized her pain came from somewhere deeper.

  “Muñeca, tell me what’s wrong,” he demanded gruffly. He didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but her distress had caused his heart to squeeze. “Who hurt you?” Someone had. Nothing else could have brought on this level of pain and fear. “Tell me,” he urged.

  “I-I’m just scared of what might happen if…,” she began hesitantly. “If I let this go too far.”

  He maintained his reaction, not wanting to frighten her further by showing his fury at the bastard who had instilled this pain in her, who forced her into this shell where she was afraid to let herself love and be loved.

  “What do you think will happen between us?” he asked gently, keeping his voice low.

  She paused for a heartbeat. “That one of us will hurt the other,” she finally confessed. “Intentionally or unintentionally, it doesn’t matter. One of us will end up devastated and heartbroken.”

  Carlos processed her words before he responded. Had she recently left a messy relationship? Her behavior told him she had. She may even still have feelings for the bastard who’d broken her heart. That thought didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t like the idea that she may still be in love with another man. But right now, he couldn’t think of that and he wouldn’t probe her about that failed relationship. His main objective now was repairing whatever damage the one before him had done, so they could concentrate on building a relationship together.

  “I would never hurt you, Judith. That’s not who I am. All I ever want is to make you happy, to see you smile.” He stroked her cheek. “You trusted me with your body,” he continued. “You can trust me with your heart too.”

  She stared at him searchingly. “And what if I hurt you?” she asked in an anxious whisper.

  He squeezed her reassuringly, wanting to ease her worry. Someone who was concerned about hurting others could never harm anyone. “You won’t. You don’t have it in you to hurt anyone.”

  She relaxed slightly against him and he leaned over and gently kissed her.

  “Just promise me one thing,” he said.

  She stared at him curiously. “Yes?”

  “I know that trust comes with time and is not always easy to hand over,” he began. “We can take this as slow as you want or as fast as you want. But promise me you will never compare me to that bastard who hurt you. Okay?”

  Tears welled in her eyes. “Okay.”

  Leaning over her, he kissed her again. She was no longer tense, but she didn’t ease into him either.

  “Do you still want me to go?” he asked.

  She hesitated for a heartbeat then placed her hand on the side of his neck. “No.”

  He nodded, pleased. “Good, because I don’t want to leave,” he said, falling back into the bed and gathering her close. Her acknowledgment confirmed that tonight wasn’t just a one night thing as she’d tried to profess, and for now that was a start.

  He placed his hand over her abdomen and she tensed, but he continued to gently massage her. It was crazy of him, but he couldn’t help the deep pleasure and possessiveness that came over him at the thought of her having his baby. Picturing her growing round with their child was a satisfying and arousing image.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t have any rubbers with me.” And he’d been too hungry for
her to stop.

  She stiffened against him. “I won’t get pregnant.”

  “Are you on the pill?” he asked, surprised by the slight disappointment he felt.

  After a brief pause, she nodded stiffly.

  He sighed. It was for the best. As much as he loved the idea of creating a baby with her, it was too soon. She still needed to learn to trust him and he fully intended to make her his wife before she had his baby.

  For now, he would let her set the pace of how far and fast they took their relationship.

  Whatever she wanted…

  ****

  Judith woke with her back pressed against Carlos’ warm, hard chest and his hand running lightly down her hip.

  He continued the soft caress before moving his hand down her thigh then lifting her leg over his. Pressing his lips against the back of her neck, he pulled her hips back toward his probing erection and slid slowly into her slick folds.

  She gasped from the incredible sensation of being filled by him again. She reached back and gripped his thigh as he pushed into her again then slowly withdrew. His grunt of pleasure filled her ears as he cupped her breasts with his free hand, holding her firmly against him. She rocked her hips back and arched against him, gasping and moaning, trying to take all of him. Her hand moved to cover his around her breast, and she held on tightly, straining against the pleasure of his pumping hips.

  He kissed the side of her neck, her jaw and she turned to capture his lips. The rhythmic gliding of his tongue between her lips matched the slow thrusts of his shaft and she trembled from the erotic sensation.

  He murmured words to her in Spanish, words she didn’t understand but could still feel the heat in them.

  “Turn around, baby,” he rasped in her ear. “I want to go deeper.”

  But he didn’t wait for her to move. Instead, he pulled out of her and rolled her onto her stomach. He came up behind her and in one fluid motion, pulled her to her knees and entered her again. He buried himself to the hilt, filling her completely.

  A full body shudder racked through her at the incredible pleasure of his deep penetration. With her face pressed to the sheets, Judith clutched at the soft material as moan after sharp moan escaped her. She bit her lower lip to contain the harsh cries, but with every hard thrust, another was ripped from her.

  He braced himself over her with one arm on the bed and the other wrapped tightly around her waist and pounded into her with such ferocity, she came with the same intensity. With a deep quiver, her body squeezed around his hard, plunging shaft, pulling and holding him tight inside her.

  A harsh groan tore from him and he fell over her as the heat of his orgasm flooded her. He laced his fingers with hers and placed soft, delicate kisses along her shoulders and the back of her neck.

  They collapsed on their side with him still behind her, though he shifted so he would not put his full weight on her.

  “I can’t seem to get enough of you,” he whispered. Placing a light kiss on the back of her ear, he pulled her close.

  She loved the heat of his large body cocooning her. In his arms, she felt cherished. And when he was inside her, she seemed to forget all her troubles. Everything just ceased to be important except him and the pleasure he gave her.

  “Everything okay, muñeca?”

  Judith nodded as she relaxed against him. “Yes.”

  He pressed his lips lightly on her shoulder and she listened to his deep breathing as he drifted off to sleep.

  She’d wanted to have this night to remember him, but instead this had only opened the floodgates to a whole set of emotions she wasn’t equipped to deal with. His passion and desire was unrestrained. And like everything else about him, he was an intense and demanding lover, not letting her hold any of herself back.

  He wouldn’t let her hide away from him so all she could hope for was that her body and heart were truly safe with him.

  She was still a little embarrassed about her panic attack earlier. She knew in her heart of hearts, Carlos was nothing like Ken. But for a frightening moment, when he’d whispered those words to her, the memory of that fateful night had resurfaced and the pleasure they’d just shared had been stripped away, replaced by the cold, detached words Ken had shouted at her.

  “If I can’t have you…”

  A small tremor passed through her and she tried to tuck the memory back in its box where it couldn’t unravel the woman she was now. But the memory of the girl she’d once been in college stayed with her, keeping her far from sleep…

  The young freshman cheerleader, who had let the charming college basketball player sweep her off her feet, had been much too innocent and trusting for her own good. Even after all these years, Judith cringed, thinking of how easily she had fallen for him. But then, Kenneth Tate had been popular and charismatic and she had been flattered by his attention. She had only joined the cheerleading squad to supplement her dance courses, not thinking she would catch the attention of the third-year ball player.

  Eventually, after nearly two years of dating, and still heavily grieving the loss of her mother, she’d allowed him to convince her that they should get married. So she accepted his proposal.

  And that’s when everything had changed.

  It was still unclear to her if Ken had changed into the monster that had taken pleasure in hurting her or if he had simply unleashed the monster that had always been within.

  Not long after their engagement, she had given him her virginity, but sex with Ken had almost never been fulfilling. And that’s when she believed he had become the man she would no longer recognize.

  She had hoped the more they did it, the sooner she would eventually come to enjoy it. But she hadn’t. The more stress she felt in trying to enjoy sex with him, to please him, the more her body shut down. Eventually, sex became something they did because he wanted to do it, even faking her orgasms just so he would stop asking her afterwards if she had come.

  Eventually, he had sensed the disconnect between them and that was when the violent jealousy and angry outbursts had truly begun. What had started off as insults swiftly turned physical. She remembered every slap, every punch, every kick. There had been times when he was choking her that she wondered if his angry face would be the last thing she saw before she died.

  But then, he would turn back into the charming guy she had first met and it all became a vicious cycle with them. A slap to the face, an apology, maybe an expensive gift, then forced make-up sex. And it would start all over again until she had found the courage to end it.

  The engagement was as far as they had gotten and she shook with relief at that.

  Carlos murmured something in his sleep, his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She burrowed into his heat and eventually managed to drift off into a deep sleep.

  The next time she woke, it was to find Carlos hovering over her, fully dressed.

  “Good morning, muñeca,” he said, brushing her hair from her eyes. “I hate to leave you like this, but I have to take care of something before I head into the office this morning.”

  Judith noticed the pale glow of dawn peeking through the windows. In a few hours, they would both have to be at work.

  “Okay.” Her voice still throaty from sleep.

  But he made no move to leave.

  “Are you okay?” he finally asked, staring down at her closely.

  Her cheeks warmed, but she gave him a quick nod, though not sure if he was referring to his lovemaking that left her a little sore deep inside or her meltdown last night that still left her embarrassed.

  But he continued staring down at her with those intense, dark eyes of his. Even after last night, she wasn’t used to it, especially not in the soft light of morning.

  “God, I miss you already.”

  She smiled. “You’ll see me in a few hours.”

  “Too long,” he grumbled then leaned down and kissed her sweetly. He placed his hand lightly over her lower abdomen and her nipples hardened from the p
ressure. For a moment, she regretted having the sheet over her, regretted not being able to feel his warm palm on her skin. But the sheet did more than just keep her skin covered. It concealed other secrets as well.

  With a long groan, he pulled away from her. “I have to go.”

  “I know,” she said sympathetically, rubbing the hand that still rested over her navel.

  “I don’t want to.”

  She smiled, remembering a similar discussion from last night. “Then don’t,” she teased.

  The corner of his lips tugged slightly and his hand flexed beneath hers. “I want to see you again tonight.” His eyes suddenly lit up with amusement. “Maybe take you to a steakhouse and tell you the story about Wenzel and Los Tres Cerditos.” At her confused look, he added, “The Three Little Pigs.”

  She laughed and his smile widened.

  “I’m serious,” he continued. “Not a lot people knew this, but Wenzel had really bad allergies and one summer…”

  She laughed louder, but they were both startled when Prince jumped on the bed. Her fat, orange cat sat on his hind legs at the foot of the bed and stared at them with his wide gold eyes.

  “I almost forgot about him,” Carlos muttered then frowned. “I hope he wasn’t watching us last night.”

  Judith glanced at Prince in horror then surprised herself with a mortified giggle. “God, I hope not either!”

  To share in their sentiments, Prince let out a loud meow. They both laughed. Carlos kissed her on the forehead before he rose from the bed.

  “Come lock up after me.”

  Disheveled and wrapped in the bed sheet, Judith walked him out of her apartment then rushed to the bathroom, nearly missing the raised toilet seat before she sat down. She shook her head and flipped it down, dazed at how much things had changed in her simple, quiet life.

  Carlos wanted to see her again tonight and that probably meant they would make love again. Her thighs tightened in anticipation.

  But last night she had lied to him again.

  She hadn’t wanted to do it, but there was no way for her to tell him that an accident nearly five years ago had left her unable to have children. He would have asked more questions and she was unprepared to let him know about that dark part of her life. It was easier to just let him believe she was taking birth control.