A Veiled Reflection

by Tracie Peterson

  Shaking her head at her own silliness, Jillian heard the distant train whistle and knew her time was up. In fact, she was late. She stuffed the letter haphazardly into the envelope, scrawled her mother’s name and address, and took the stairs at a run. She nearly mowed over poor Sam in her haste, thrusting the letter in his hand and breathlessly requesting he post it for her on the first train to Kansas City.

  Smoothing her apron, she hurried into the dining room, caught Gwen’s disapproving frown, and bowed her head. There were strict rules of convention in Mr. Harvey’s establishment, and because of those rules, normal operations ran smoothly and without disruption. An entire dining room full of guests could be fed a four-course meal in under thirty minutes, all because of Mr. Harvey’s meticulous order. It only took one, such as Jillian, to put a kink in the works.

  Gwen came to Jillian’s station, her face revealing her intention to discuss the matter. Jillian bit her lower lip and tried to think of something to say.

  “Miss Danvers, I cannot abide you taking time away from your duties. I know there was a letter from home, and while I hope there were no bad tidings, you must know that leaving your station to deal with such a matter is uncalled for.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jillian replied, realizing she had no defense. Gwen already knew what she had been about.

  “Very well, don’t let it happen again.”

  With that, Gwen went off to the kitchen, and a clanging gong announced the arrival of the train passengers.

  Jillian glanced around just as Kate came up to give her a brief pat on the shoulder. “Don’t be frettin’ none about Miss Carson. She needs ya too much to go a-firing ya. Besides, she likes ya better than just about anyone else here. Ya know it’s always been that way.”

  Jillian tried to nod, but the truth ate at her. How would Gwen feel about her once she learned that she wasn’t Judith? “I suppose I know that,” she finally told Kate, “but there’s no excuse for taking advantage of it. I shouldn’t have left my station.”

  Kate eyed her seriously for a moment. “Ya’ve changed, Judith. Ya didn’t used to care about such things.”

  “I am a different person,” Jillian admitted.

  Kate nodded. “Aye, I’m supposin’ ya are.”

  Jillian didn’t know if Kate really suspected her true identity, but it wouldn’t have surprised her. Still, the Irishwoman seemed to be in no hurry to share her suspicions with anyone else.

  The lunch crowd came and went, with Jillian making only minor mistakes. She served the wrong salad twice, spilled soup on the table, and broke one china plate when it slipped from her hands in the kitchen. When the eastbound train came through, slowing only long enough to snag the mailbag, Jillian was already stripping the tables in her station.

  “Do you have a table for me?”

  Jillian startled and dropped three crystal goblets, spilling the leftover contents out across the fine Irish linen tablecloth. The voice immediately took her back to the revelation of her letter.

  “Oh, you gave me a start!” she exclaimed, trying to regain her composure.

  “I didn’t mean to,” Mac said apologetically.

  Jillian then looked into his face. Captured by his gaze, she realized the truth . . . she had lost her heart.

  This can’t be happening! she told herself.

  She had fallen in love with Mac. And now that she knew it, Jillian suddenly felt quite shy around him. She quickly bowed her head and concentrated on cleaning up the mess she’d just made. “I know you meant no harm,” she said rather formally.

  “So what’s for lunch?” he asked, sitting at the next table over.

  “We have beef tips picante, fried flounder, or curried lamb,” she replied, forcing her focus to remain on the table. How could I have fallen for him so easily? she wondered. “Of course, there are other things. I could just bring you the menu and let you decide who you love.” She felt her cheeks grow hot. “I mean what you love . . . well . . . you know what I mean.”

  Mac laughed. “You’re in a queer state today. How many dishes did you break at lunch?”

  Jillian straightened and glared at him. “I only broke one plate.”

  He grinned. “I’m sure Mr. Harvey will be glad to hear that. You didn’t douse anyone else in coffee, did you?”

  Even as he spoke the words, Zack Matthews walked into the dining room. He immediately sought out Gwen, who blushed furiously when he presented her with a small collection of wild flowers.

  “I’d say the good sheriff has taken an interest in your Miss Carson.”

  Jillian felt a pang of something akin to jealousy. Matthews was openly showing his affection, and Gwen was happily, although shyly, accepting. In fact, Jillian knew that Gwen had received permission from the house manager to spend time away from the Harvey House in the company of Mr. Matthews.

  “Are you feeling ill?” Mac asked softly.

  Jillian turned to look at him. “What?” She let her gaze linger on his face. That proved to be a big mistake. Why was it that yesterday, when she hadn’t realized her feelings for Mac, she could laugh and joke with him and look at him without feeling her skin go all goosey on her?

  “It’s just that you look like you’re feeling ill. Maybe it’s just the heat. I keep telling them that you Harvey Girls shouldn’t be wearing black in the Arizona sun. Why can’t Harvey dress you all in white?”

  Jillian shook her head. “I’m sure I don’t know.” She began to gather the dishes.

  Turning to take her things into the kitchen, Mac called out after her, “Just bring me the beef tips and some vegetables. You know what I like.”

  She nearly dropped the dishes again. His words rang in her head. “You know what I like.” She silently thought, Oh, but you don’t know what I like.

  Feeling rather breathless, she deposited her dirty dishes in the sink, then turned to give Mac’s order to the cook. Within a matter of a minute, a steaming order of beef tips sent an appealing aroma from Mr. Harvey’s finest china. The cook had accompanied this with buttered red beets and creamed peas with pearl onions. Another plate, which contained several slices of bread, all different in flavor and appearance, was handed to Jillian.

  By the time she headed through the kitchen door, Jillian’s nerves were getting the best of her. I’m in love with him. How can I endure serving him without making a complete fool of myself?

  When she arrived in the dining room, Kate was pouring his coffee. Good, she thought, I won’t have to stay any longer than to deposit this food. Mac will have to understand that I have work to do.

  But instead of feeling relieved at the thought, Jillian felt almost disappointed. Why did she have to feel so torn? On one hand, she wanted only to run from the room, and on the other, she longed to go to Mac and share her heart. Was this what falling in love was all about?

  Determined not to give it a second thought, Jillian picked up her pace and made her way to Mac. However, she didn’t see the errant piece of lettuce, which had doubtlessly been dropped by one of the luncheon diners. Stepping down on the slippery piece, Jillian felt her foot begin to slide forward in an uncontrollable manner. Struggling to right herself, she whipped around and tried to regain her footing, but it was too late. Mac saw her dilemma and only made matters worse by reaching out to steady her. In a flash that could only be described as sheer disaster, Jillian felt Mac’s firm grip on her as her feet went completely out from under her. Without any further ado, she landed squarely on his lap as the plate rained its contents down the front of both of them.

  Mac began laughing uncontrollably, while Jillian sat in stunned silence. So much for being inconspicuous. She saw the red beets dripping down the front of her apron, then raised her gaze to Mac’s laughing face, where creamed peas oozed down the side of his cheek. His laughter became contagious as Kate and some of the other girls began to laugh, and Jillian herself could no longer keep a straight face as pieces of beef picante began to slide down Mac’s forehead.

  Not thinkin
g of the inappropriateness of remaining on Mac’s lap, Jillian began to giggle and then to laugh until finally tears were in her eyes and she was edging close to hysteria. What a scene. She had truly outdone herself this time.

  She didn’t think about what she was doing as her hand went up to Mac’s face. She began wiping creamed peas from his cheek, her fingers lingering on his clean-shaven skin. Tracing down along the lines of the sauce, she touched the edge of his laughing mouth and trembled. And for a reason that baffled her, Mac trembled too, and then stopped laughing. She grew sober, not at all sure what was happening.

  Mac’s blue eyes seemed to darken as they held her gaze. For a moment, Jillian could have sworn he was going to say something important. But before he could speak, Gwen interrupted.

  “Miss Danvers, what in the world has happened here?”

  It was only then that Jillian realized the intimacy of the moment. She quickly slid off of Mac’s lap and stood up. Her uniform was covered in food.

  “I slipped on something and, well, Dr. MacCallister tried to help me. . . .” She let the words trail off as the laughter from her fellow co-workers began to increase. Glancing around, she could see that Zack Matthews was laughing as well.

  Gwen didn’t need any more encouragement than this before she began to smile. “Oh, Judith. Go change.”

  Jillian nodded, then against her will she looked back at Mac. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

  He shook his head and very seriously replied, “Don’t be.”

  Kate and Louisa followed her upstairs, both still laughing at the incident. As Jillian undressed, Louisa poured water in a bowl while Kate beat any wildlife from Jillian’s clean uniforms.

  “Thank you for your help,” Jillian said in complete defeat. She didn’t understand Mac’s serious tone, and she couldn’t figure out what was happening to her heart.

  Standing there in nothing more than her undergarments, Jillian felt tears come to her eyes, suddenly overwhelmed. I don’t know what to do to feel right again. Nothing seems to make sense. She didn’t understand why a simple mistake should make her feel so bad, but it did.

  “They say confession is good for the soul,” Kate told her as she brought a black shirtwaist. “Perhaps if ya offered some confession to us, we could help.”

  Louisa brought the basin to Jillian and nodded. “We don’t want to see you hurt.”

  Jillian looked at her roommates for a moment, then suddenly realized they knew. They knew she wasn’t Judith but had kept it to themselves anyway.

  “I’m Judith’s sister, Jillian,” she said softly.

  Kate nodded. “We know.”

  “I don’t know exactly how you figured it out, but frankly, I’m glad. No, I’m relieved. The only other person who knows is Mac, and it’s beginning to take its toll on me,” Jillian said, plopping onto her bed.

  “So where is Judith?” Louisa asked matter-of-factly.

  “She eloped with her childhood sweetheart,” Jillian admitted.

  “Good for her,” Kate said, taking up the washcloth from the basin. “Here, ya best clean up before ya dress.” She handed Jillian the cloth, then asked, “So why did ya come here, Jillian?”

  “Judith asked me to. She begged me to come in her place until her contract was up. She said she would lose half her back wages if she didn’t complete the contract and stay until June. But she was so in love and she didn’t want to give up Martin. So I agreed to come in her place.”

  “Does yar family know?”

  Jillian wiped her face and nodded. “Yes. They were none too happy about it, but my father is a businessman of some means. He realized the logic in letting things ride. Otherwise, I feared he might well come storming into Pintan to drag me home.”

  “Well, it’s glad I am that he didn’t,” Kate said with a smile. “Yar sister was a wild card, but we loved her dearly and now we love you just the same.”

  “Yes,” Louisa said with a smile. “You and Judith are just alike.”

  “Not really,” Jillian replied. “I’ve been trying hard to be like Judith, but honestly, I don’t have her flair for adventure.”

  “Nonsense!” Kate declared. “Ya wouldn’t be here if ya didn’t.”

  “I’m here for Judith’s sake,” Jillian replied. “I didn’t really want to come, but I’ve always wanted to please Judith.”

  “Well, whatever the reason, you’re here now,” Louisa replied. She held the basin out in order for Jillian to rinse the cloth.

  “And ya still have a few short weeks left on your contract,” Kate replied. “So we’ll help ya keep yar secret and do what we can to make the time a bit easier on yarself.”

  “No, don’t do me special favors,” Jillian replied. “I need to pull my weight and do my job, the same as you.”

  “But we were trained for the job,” Kate stated. “Yar doing a great job considering that ya’ve not had the training. Ya should have seen me in my first three months. I liked to have killed myself and nearly every diner who bore the misfortune of crossin’ me path. There was no one more disorganized than meself.” Kate’s infectious grin caused Jillian to smile. “There, that’s better,” Kate said. “Now let’s get ya dressed and back on the floor. I’m sure Dr. Mac would like to see if ya can find some other way to land in his lap again.”

  Jillian felt herself blush, and the look Kate and Louisa shared didn’t help.

  “He’s as crazy for yarself as ya are for him,” Kate said with a shrug. “No sense in denyin’ it.”

  Jillian shook her head. “You shouldn’t talk about such things.”

  “Why not? They’re true enough.”

  Jillian put the cloth in the basin and took the blouse Kate offered. Her gaze locked on the Irishwoman’s. “I don’t think it is true. I think Mac just finds me amusing because of the situation. I’ve heard it said that he had his heart broken once before and has no interest in becoming involved with any woman, so I think it’s best just to forget it. I think we’ll all be happier that way. After all, I’ll be leaving for Kansas City in a few weeks.”

  “Oh, will ya, now,” Kate replied with a devilish grin.

  Jillian nodded. “Yes. I will.”

  * * *

  In the quiet stillness of her little house, Mary Barnes finished her accounting of the Navajo’s money and goods and put down her pencil. She had managed to make a tidy sum for the Navajo, and while the money wouldn’t begin to stretch far enough to make life really comfortable, it would ease things a bit.

  A noise from the far side of the room caught her attention. Little Sister stood awkwardly and admired her finished blanket.

  “And you worried that you wouldn’t have it done in time. Looks like you did yourself proud,” Mary said, going to where Little Sister stood.

  “The baby will wait just a little longer,” she told Mary, her hand going automatically to her swollen abdomen. “She’s not ready to be born.”

  “So you’re sure it’s a girl, eh? Well, time will tell,” Mary teased. She could see the seriousness in Little Sister’s expression, however, and sobered. “Try not to worry about the future. Remember what I told you. You can stay here for as long as all time, if necessary. You’re safe here.”

  “But I’m not with my people,” Little Sister said sadly.

  Mary nodded. “I know you miss them. I’ve tried to talk to that brother of yours, but he won’t listen to reason.”

  “He is very proud,” Little Sister replied. “He thinks I have taken a white man to my bed. He thinks I’m like the others.”

  “Those women were just as misguided as some of the white women in town,” Mary said, trying to reassure Little Sister. “Mr. Cooper is not an honorable man. I’ve written letters to our government, and hopefully they will take care of everything—put things back to right.”

  “They cannot take care of this,” Little Sister said, patting her stomach. She looked up to meet Mary’s watchful eyes. There were tears in her eyes as she added, “Your government cannot make my peo
ple know the truth.”

  “God knows the truth, Little Sister,” Mary assured, switching easily to the Navajo language. “God knows. And believe me, He isn’t happy about it either.”

  Mary watched the pregnant girl head outside and said a silent prayer for the child, then asked God to forgive the rage in her own heart. Cooper deserved to hang for what he’d done, especially given his unwillingness to admit to any wrongdoing. Still, Mary prayed to be able to forgive him and overlook his actions.

  “‘For all have sinned,”’ she reminded herself.

  It was late, almost dark, when Little Sister came in for supper. She had fetched some water in a large jar and went about the task of refilling the jars and jugs that held the legs to the two small beds where she and Mary slept.

  “Don’t worry over that now,” Mary chided. “Come have some stew while it’s hot.”

  “I’m not hungry,” the Navajo girl said in a weak voice.

  Mary instantly noted her tone and left the task of stirring the stew. “Little Sister, are you feelin’ all right?”

  The girl straightened and shook her head. “I think I am sick. My head hurts.”

  Mary reached out to touch her flushed face. “You have a fever. We’d best get you to bed. No tellin’ what you might have caught.”

  Little Sister nodded. “I finish here first.”

  “No, come on.” Mary took the water jar from her hands and set it to one side. “Let’s get you into your nightgown and then to bed. I’ll bring you some broth.” She helped Little Sister take off her oversized tunic and drawstring skirt, then brought a clean fresh gown.

  Snapping it out several times, Mary helped Little Sister slip it over her head. Mary pulled it down over the young woman’s protruding belly just as Little Sister began to sway.

  Whipping back the covers with one hand and steadying Little Sister with the other, Mary quickly tucked the girl into bed, then stood back in concern. What manner of illness had overcome the girl? Just hours before, she had been perfectly well, and now she appeared as though she were seriously ill. Mary shook her head and went back to the kitchen, a silent prayer on her lips.