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The Collected Poems of Chika Sagawa

Page 6

by Chika Sagawa


  OCEAN BRIDE

  I do awaken to the sound of the wind snaking through a dark ocean of trees.

  Beyond the gray skies

  The cuckoo cries out,

  Kefukaero, kefukaero—

  To where shall I return.

  In order to get to the tail end of noon,

  The thicket of gooseberry and knotweed was quite deep.

  The apples, in my half-faded memory,

  Were in full bloom.

  And the invisible screams, too.

  If I rush past the damp windbreak path

  I shall arrive at the dunes with the sorrels and wild strawberries.

  They shine like jewels and are lovely to eat.

  The ocean froths

  And is spreading its lace.

  The short train is headed for the city.

  Alienated by the evil gods

  Time alone, layered on the lip of the wave, is dazzling.

  From there I await someone’s words

  And hear a song pressing up towards reality.

  Now is the time that people, like parasols,

  Try to enter the banquet of trees covering the earth.

  SONG OF THE SUN

  A white body

  Whirling in the searing wind

  Kneels down in a shorn-off darkness

  The beasts grown weary of sunlight and pleasure

  Howl at a substitute for night

  Because Dante’s Inferno does not exist there

  But the old instruments have stopped playing

  In the mirror of diamonds, the snow

  Curves

  Spreading its wings like the light

  And then the veil

  Conceals the music of the tattered air

  And a voiceless season on some shore

  Will radiate in youth and honor

  MOUNTAIN RANGE

  Distant peaks swaying like the wind

  In the orchard at the mountain base, bright white flowers bloom

  Paused in mid-winter, the hillside

  Is beautiful like a spread of silk over every morning

  Water flows noisily through my eyes

  And I wish to bow down in gratitude—thank you—to an invisible being

  But no one is listening there is no forgiveness

  Will the turtle dove cry in sympathy

  And echo my voice back to me

  The snow will disappear

  And laurel flowers and red lilies will bloom in the valley

  Creating a covering of green

  In the nettles, too, the slow summer will lurk

  And in our hearts

  How beautiful the flames that will flare up in a ring

  OCEAN ANGEL

  The cradle rings loudly.

  A spray shoots up,

  As if tearing off feathers.

  I wait for the return of those able to sleep.

  Music marks the bright hour.

  I try to complain, raising my voice—

  The waves come erase it from behind.

  I was abandoned in the ocean.

  VOICES OF SUMMER

  It looks far very far

  Wrapped in a thick wool manteau

  It is purple like the fog

  Saburo! Saburo! she yells

  His mother awaiting reply

  Above the deep slumber of summer

  A lizard faces the wind

  It looks near very near

  Heavy knees have begun to move

  On the edge of town the adults fret over the weather

  And fuss about

  Crouching, fallen silent,

  Making us gossip all day long

  When split, the water flows like pollen

  SEASONAL NIGHT

  Loaded with young green leaves

  The last train of the light rail goes by

  Quietly, like the back alley of the season.

  It crawls along like a snail

  Through the larch forest and to the cabbage fields.

  Those with no business here should go ahead and disembark.

  Six leagues to the dye factory deep in the woods.

  Gleaming upon the dark evening road,

  A trickle of sap.

  THE STREET FAIR

  A cloud has collapsed on the pavement

  Like the horse’s white struggle for air

  Night, screaming and shouting into the darkness

  Arrives with the intention of murdering time

  Wearing a mask plated with light beams

  Lining up single-file from the window

  People moan in their dreams

  And fall from sleep to an even deeper sleep

  There, a stem that has gone pale

  Like an exhausted despair

  Supports the tall sky

  An empty city with neither roads nor stars

  My thinking is to escape

  That pitch-black metal house

  Steal away the glimmer of pistons

  And smoldering embers of noise

  Retreat into a shallow ocean

  Collide, get battered to the ground

  1.2.3.4.5.

  Under a row of trees a young girl raises her green hand.

  Surprised by her plant-like skin, she looks, and eventually removes her silk gloves.

  NEWLY COLLECTED POEMS

  FALLING OCEAN

  A red riot takes place.

  In the early evening the sun dies alongside the ocean. The waves are unable to catch the clothes that float away after them.

  The ocean builds a blue road from the vicinity of my eyes. Countless gorgeous corpses are buried below it. Annihilation of a band of tired women. There is a boat that hurriedly covers its tracks.

  There is nothing that lives there.

  TREE SPIRITS

  Through the tunnel in the woods, following the telegraph line that stretches to the foot of the mountain

  Once again a childhood memory comes back to me

  The valley is dark, and it is cold

  O wandering voice

  You were right there

  Twilight chasing the merchants who cross the streets of melting snow

  A swarm of mosquitos circles higher and higher under the eaves

  Ah—won’t you return. Right away

  In the form of joyful cries. Deepening the melancholy of the boy’s day that shakes the mountains and seeps into the distant sky, all traces of people fade into the distance

  FLOWER

  1

  Dreams are severed fruit

  Auburn pears have fallen in the field

  Parsley blooms on the plate

  Sometimes the leghorn appears to have six toes

  I crack an egg and the moon comes out

  2

  A snail crawls through the forest

  Above its tentacles is the sky

  3

  The color of the wind is dark today

  The piston charges ahead, breaking through the salty air

  Rain turns to sand under the overturned morning

  FLOWERS BETWEEN THE FINGERS

  1

  Walking along the back alley of the hotel yesterday, I spotted some yellow flowers growing just below the guardrails. A single dab of color on the dry dirt between the cracks in the asphalt.

  The long line connected through the reflection of the bright afternoon pavement on the body of the car is beautiful. Many times I have wanted to chase after it. I thought I would find the sun there. The sound of the engine and the smell
of oil fill the city with a buoyant air, rattling windows on both sides. On the street corner a crane hoists iron beams up into the air. I hope that it doesn’t damage the thin air. The sound of things breaking, and the allure of a continuously dynamic space, are wonderful. Because I keep staring at the beauty of the jagged cross-section, I am perhaps only tiring out my eyes.

  2

  Begonias call up the image of Chinese women’s shoes. Small, lush, peach-colored flower petals dampen in the frame of a just-opened set of curtains.

  Under a row of trees a young girl raises her green hand, calling someone. Looking in surprise at her plant-like skin, she eventually removes her gloves.

  3

  Late at night, a hammer in the shape of a human digs into the earth’s crust by the light of a small lantern. And tries to lead us to the other side of a pitch black hole. Any moment now there will come a time when we can forget the bright ground above. The destruction and construction of the land—these are the kinds of things by which humans are defeated.

  4

  A horse comes neighing up the hill. The breath exhaled from his nostrils were stark white clouds. He comes tearing through the street where the milk flows. I had thought that the flowers had bloomed in the fields.

  5

  In the cabbage field in the morning, drops of dew collect under large leaves, but most of these become the main diet of insects. Cabbageworms have such translucent bodies because they feed on gems of dew.

  6

  In a crystal vase, a single kensis stem grows. The liquid lead is toxic. When I read books, I remove my glasses and place them nearby.

  LAVENDER GRAVE

  All the keys have left the piano

  I shall drown my joys into the pitch black wilderness.

  Exposed chords of the air that obstruct

  The naked parade of afternoon shall be severed.

  Rhythmical waves long for the festival that has passed.

  The loud laughter of the spirits, as if praying forever,

  Prod the branches to take a bow

  And blow out our activities.

  The destruction of those giants

  Will soon set the frozen marble into the earth.

  SMOKE SIGNALS

  Beating the golden tendon

  In the light from the blue sky

  The daughter of the sun

  Applauds the new sacrificial ritual.

  The morning plays

  Upon the keys of the harpsichord.

  Dirty ivory fingers are scrabbled together

  And as life is burned

  The time has come to spring into action.

  NIGHT WALK

  Deep in the night the pavement runs dry, crude as if covered in lead, green phlegm spit out everywhere. These raw globs conjure up the flower-like parts of the exposed, dirty, rotten organs of humans, driving me towards an elusive, eerie sensation. The people who by day conceal all they have to hide with their artful expressions and unctuous conversations must be the same ones who are relieved to abandon only the most monstrous parts of themselves throughout this darkness, among the newspaper scraps and orange peels. Bearing down on them with the teeth of their geta sandals, kicking them with their toes, men and women alike fled from these city streets at night. Then the commotion comes to a complete halt and it again falls silent as if nothing had happened. There are no dog eyeballs to flick away, and all shadow-like shadows sink into a plausible destruction, darkness licking its lips. What I fear are the tentacles of darkness that will completely do me in. Their inarticulate blades that melt my partially frozen heart with an invisible force, or simply abandon me at some point with no promises at all.

  I walk on now. I consider how it was only these filthy residues that filled in reality while collecting the empty shells discarded by strangers, and how the beautiful feathers I had always believed permeated the blank spaces lay just above a muddy, undependable swamp. It seems as if that dizzying moment when arrogant personalities, buildings, and sounds filter through reality has just now taken place, but it might actually be an event from the distant past. A single drop of black water dripping from the mouth of a feeble bottle is pushed forth by night, which is made of something akin to the wall we lean on. It passes under the colonial harbor and flows through the hearts of those who have been betrayed—it is probably not possible to stem this flow until it grows light.

  The windows of the houses on either side no longer flutter. They shut their entrances like mimosas as I pass by. Many eyes peek out of the cracks in the doors, and returning to the chatting they had just finished, they badmouth me, laughing at my peculiarities and spreading rumors. The sounds that leak out from within these quiet mumblings give me halt. They are after me. I am not permitted to turn back. Up ahead, the train tracks curve in the air, giving off brilliant sparks. I am merely running in place in a small circle, troubled by the soles of my feet that are sticky as if straddling a bumpy map. In terms of where I stand, I am only supported by the part of the ground where the heels of my shoes barely touch, and there is no extra space anywhere else. It is extremely difficult to walk with the instability of shackles. We repeatedly see the illusion of being shoved into a deep ravine. I cling to a piece of yarn, to a honeysuckle hedge. The electric crown that lights only our feet passes by, sneering at the people and distorting the faces of the apathetic men. As if to say, you’re hopeless, there’s nothing more for you to do. It would be plenty just to scoop up their cruel words and loud laughter.

  Not that anyone is looking, but I shudder as if I was naked. There were no leaves on the roadside trees. I think my retina will tear at the touch. The arm of the monster that has held me captive until now is relentlessly coercive. It tries to make me believe, or to spoil my heart with sweetness. It is a deception that has just completed its intangible construction. It is a cruel lashing for the innocent woman forever trying to dredge up what she has lost. That is why we no longer hear the elegant echoes. Because the scent of ripened sunlight was not there either. Even as the internal organs of the internal organs are heaved out and torn to shreds, the voice separated from the flesh will get tossed out into the winter day, leaving behind its ugly skeleton.

  I had longed to be overcome by a storm of freedom and love. But those ties were broken. Already the clearness of spirit has been lost, and the earth is fatigued, barely able to handle the weight of its load. It repeats the low-pitched sounds with an irritated look. The flash of light that sparks on occasion was the only coquetry towards tomorrow I could see.

  I stir up some back alley face powder, count the coins in the palm of my hand, and the twelve-twenty-eight wind blows. The wind that traverses day and night takes me by both hands and begins to run. A film-like ocean floats up from between those swaying walls. On the dark surface of the sea where no amount of snow will collect, in a corner where no flowers bloom, where there is no slippage like in the city where I walk, a team of waves hiding some vacant disturbance calls back some nearly-destroyed memory, rushes forth at once and narrows the field of vision while imparting a damp, mica-like sparkle. That mournful outward appearance will lament. The wound is exposed—until it disappears while adding life to the fault lines of thought.

 

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