The Secret Woman

by Victoria Holt

  “All the same I intend to watch over that child every minute he’s in my care. I shall lock the cabin door at night.”

  “And where is he now?”

  “In Mrs. Blakey’s care, with Johnny. She feels the same because you see Johnny should never have been allowed to get out. We now lock the cabin doors in the evenings when they’re in bed.”

  “That will put a stop to their nightly prowls. Well, we shall soon be saying good-bye to Johnny and his mother and aunt.”

  I looked at her sharply. And Rex too, I thought. Did she really care for him? Sometimes I thought she hid things from me.

  How could she contemplate losing him when we docked in Sydney and be so indifferent? He would be greeted by the Derringhams and caught up in a whirl of business and social activities. Poor Chantel, her position was as hopeless as my own. But it need not have been. If Rex defied his mother, if he asked Chantel to marry him, they could be happy. He was free.

  But I sensed a weakness in him. He was attractive it was true; he had the sort of easygoing charm which Red possessed to a much greater extent. To me he seemed like a pale shadow of his half brother.

  But Rex had defied his mother when he had failed to propose to Helena Derringham. How far, I wondered, would he carry that defiance? I wished Chantel would confide in me concerning her feelings for him. But of course I had not confided my true feelings to her. The fact was that I refused to consider them. How could I admit that I desperately loved a man who was married to another woman? I dared not.

  We must keep our secrets even from each other.

  ***

  The heat was intense in Bombay. Monique’s breathing became difficult and Chantel had to cancel her trip ashore. The Captain had business in Bombay and was entertained by some of the company’s agents; he took Edward with him.

  Mrs. Malloy told me that the First Officer and the purser had suggested she and I accompany them on a tour of exploration. Mrs. Blakey was taking care of Johnny and was going with the Greenalls and Miss Rundle.

  I accepted the invitation and we rode out in an open carriage, Mrs. Malloy and I shaded from the hot sun by big hats and parasols.

  It was a strange experience for me and my thoughts traveled back to the day long ago when I had lived here with my parents. When we saw the women washing their clothes in the river, and wandered through the markets looking at the ivory and brass, the silk and the carpets, I was taken right back to the days of childhood. We passed the cemetery on Malabar Hill and I looked for the vultures.

  I told Dick Callum of my memories and he was very interested. Mrs. Malloy and the First Officer listened politely; they were more interested in each other.

  We stopped by the roadside near a teahouse and we wandered off separately, Dick Callum and myself, and Mrs. Malloy and the First Officer. Outside the teahouse traders had their wares spread out—beautiful silk shawls, exquisite lace mats and tablecloths, ebony elephants with gleaming white tusks.

  They called to us in their soft voices to buy and we paused and looked. I bought a tablecloth which I thought I would send home to Ellen and a little elephant for Mrs. Buckle.

  I admired a beautiful white silk shawl with the beautiful blue and silver embroidery. Dick Callum bought it.

  “It seems such a shame to disappoint them,” he said.

  It was cooler in the teahouse; and a wizened old man came to the tables with lovely peacock feather fans for sale. Dick bought one for me.

  As we sipped the tea which was most refreshing he said: “What is going to happen when we reach Coralle?”

  “It’s some time yet.”

  “Two weeks or so out from Sydney.”

  “But we haven’t reached Sydney yet.”

  “Shall you stay there?”

  “I feel my fate is in the balance. Lady Crediton made the position clear. If I am not approved of, or if I wish to return I shall be brought to England at the Company’s expense. The same applies to Nurse Loman.”

  “You are very great friends, you two.”

  “I can’t imagine being without her now, although a few years ago I hadn’t met her. But we have become so close, like sisters, and sometimes I feel I’ve known her all my life.”

  “She’s a very attractive young woman.”

  “I don’t think I have ever seen a more attractive one.”

  “I have,” he said, looking at me earnestly.

  “I can’t believe it.” I spoke lightly.

  “Would you like me to go on?”

  “I don’t think you should because I shan’t believe you.”

  “But if I think so…”

  “Then you are misled.”

  “I can’t imagine what it will be like on Serene Lady once we have left you behind. Sailors do have friends ashore.”

  “Then we’ll be friends.”

  “That’s a comfort. I want to ask you something. Will you marry me?”

  I picked up my peacock feather fan. I was suddenly so hot. “You…you can’t mean that?”

  “But I do.”

  “You…but…you hardly know me.”

  “I have known you since we left England.”

  “That is not really very long.”

  “But on a ship one gets to know people quickly. It is like living in one house. It’s different from being ashore. In any case, does it matter?”

  “It matters very much. One should thoroughly know the person one marries.”

  “Does one ever thoroughly know another person? In any case, I know enough to have made up my mind.”

  “Then you have been…rather hasty.”

  “I am never hasty. I have thought, Anna is the one for me. She is handsome, clever, kind, and good. She is reliable. I think that is the quality I prize most.”

  This was my first proposal although I was twenty-eight years old. It was not as I had dreamed—in those long ago days when I had imagined someone’s proposing to me. This was a calm assessment of my virtues, the greatest of which was my reliability.

  “I have spoken too soon,” he said.

  “Perhaps you should not have spoken at all.”

  “Do you mean the answer is ‘no,’ then?”

  “The answer must be no,” I said.

  “Just now. I accept that. It could change.”

  “I like you very much,” I said. “You have been very kind to me. I am sure you are as…reliable as you think I am; but I don’t believe that to be a strong enough foundation for marriage.”

  “There are other reasons. I’m in love with you, of course. I can’t express myself as well as some. I’m not like our gallant Captain who would I am sure make the most impassioned speeches…and act accordingly…and not mean half he said.”

  I looked at him sharply. “Why do you dislike him so much?” I demanded.

  “Perhaps because I sense you like him too much. Anna, stop thinking of him. Don’t let him treat you as he has others.”

  “Others?” I said hoarsely.

  “My God, you don’t imagine you’re the only one. Look at his wife. The way he treats her.”

  “He…he is also courteous to her.”

  “Courteous! He was born courteous. It’s part of the charm. Charm! It’s given him a place in the Castle. A place in the company. He’s got charm…as his mother had before him. That’s why she became Sir Edward’s mistress. And our Captain can go his carefree way. He can be caught up in such a scandal that would have ruined any other man, but his charm…his eternal charm comes to his rescue.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You’ve heard of The Secret Woman. Or if you haven’t you should. There was a fortune on that ship. One hundred thousand pounds, they say…all in diamonds. And what happened to them? What happened to the merchant? He died on board. He was buried at sea. I was there whe
n they lowered his coffin into the water. The Captain took the service. Poor John Fillimore, who died so suddenly. And his diamonds? What happened to them? Nobody knew. But the ship was blown up in Coralle Bay.”

  I had stood up. “I don’t want to listen to this.”

  “Sit down,” he commanded, and I obeyed him. I was fascinated by the change in him; he was vehement in his hatred of the Captain; he really believed that Redvers had murdered John Fillimore and stolen his diamonds.

  “I must talk to you, Anna,” he went on, “and the reason is that I love you. I have to save you. You’re in danger.”

  “Danger?”

  “I know the signs. I’ve sailed with him before. He has a way with women which I don’t possess. I don’t deny it. He will deceive you as he did that poor wife of his although he didn’t escape entirely. He’s a buccaneer if ever there was one. Two hundred years ago piracy would have been his trade. He’d be sailing under the Jolly Roger. No hijacking on the high seas for him now; but when he sees a fortune of a hundred thousand pounds within his grasp he can’t let it go.”

  “Do you realize that you are talking about your Captain?”

  “On board I obey his orders, but I am not on board now. I am talking to the woman I am going to marry and I want to speak the truth to her. Where are those diamonds? It’s clear to me. It’s clear to many, but it can’t be proved of course. They are hidden away in the safe deposit of some foreign port. They are his fortune salted away for when it will be safe to realize it. It’s not easy to dispose of diamonds you know. They’re recognizable, so he has to be careful. But he’ll manage it. His fortune is waiting for him. He has to have a fortune of his own, doesn’t he?”

  “This is the wildest conjecture.”

  “I have evidence to support it.”

  “Then I suggest you lay it before the Captain.”

  “My dear, dear Anna, you don’t know our Captain. He would have the answer. He always has the answers. Didn’t he conveniently dispose of the ship…the scene of the crime. The Captain who lost his ship! How many captains would have lived that down? Anyone else would have been dismissed, disgraced and living on a far distant island somewhere in the Pacific, like Coralle itself. But of course he would have his fortune in diamonds, so he would still be a rich man.”

  “You have surprised me twice today,” I said. “First by your declaration of love for me and secondly by your declaration of hatred toward the Captain. And I notice that you are more vehement in your expression of hate than of love.”

  He leaned toward me; his anger had brought hot color to his face; even the whites of his eyes were faintly tinged with red.

  “Don’t you understand,” he said, “the two are one. It is because I love you so deeply that I hate him so much. It is because he is too interested in you…and you in him.”

  “You misjudge me,” I said. “I am surprised since you claim to know me so well.”

  “I know that you would never act…dishonorably.”

  “So I have another virtue to set beside my reliability.”

  “Anna, forgive me. I have allowed my feelings to get the better of me.”

  “Let’s go. Our hour must be up.”

  “Just like that! Have you no word for me?”

  “I don’t care to hear you make accusations for which you have no proof.”

  “I’ll get proof,” he said. “By God, I’ll get proof.”

  I had stood up. “You’ll change,” he went on. “You’ll understand and when you do I shall speak to you again. At least tell me that you won’t object to that.”

  “I should object very much to losing your friendship,” I said.

  “What a fool I am! I shouldn’t have spoken yet. Never mind, everything is as it was before. I don’t give up easily, you know.”

  “I’m sure you don’t.”

  “If you need my help at any time…I shall be at hand.”

  “That is comforting to know.”

  “And you don’t dislike me?”

  “I don’t suppose a woman ever really disliked a man for telling her he loved her.”

  “Anna. I wish I could tell you everything that is in my mind.”

  “You have told me quite a bit to be getting on with,” I reminded him.

  We walked slowly back past the vendors squatting beside their goods. The other two were already in the carriage.

  “We thought we’d lost you,” said Mrs. Malloy.

  When we reached the dock and had mounted the gangway, Dick pressed the white silk shawl into my hands. “I bought it for you,” he said.

  “But I thought you had bought it for someone else.”

  “For whom did you think?”

  “Well, perhaps your mother.”

  A faint shadow darkened his face. He said, “My mother is dead.” I wished I hadn’t said that because I knew that the thought of her had given him pain. And then it occurred to me that I really did not know very much about him. He loved me; he hated the Captain. What other violent emotions were there in his life?

  We were slipping slowly away from the dock when Chantel came into my cabin. She grimaced. “To think that I’ve had to be the stay-at-home.”

  “How’s the patient?”

  “A little better. It was the heat which was too much for her. She’ll soon recover when we’re at sea again.”

  “Chantel,” I said, “it won’t be long now before we reach Australia.”

  “I’m beginning to wonder what our island is going to be like. Imagine it! Or can’t you? I think of palm trees and coral reefs and Robinson Crusoe. I wonder what we shall do when the ship has sailed away and left us there.”

  “We shall have to wait and find out.”

  She looked at me sharply. “Something happened today.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “I mean to you. You went out with Dick Callum, didn’t you?”

  “Yes and Mrs. Malloy and the First Officer.”

  “Well?”

  I hesitated. “He asked me to marry him.”

  She stared at me. And then she said quickly: “And what did you say? ‘Sir, this is too sudden’?”

  “Something like that.”

  She seemed to breathe more freely.

  “I gather you don’t like him much,” I said.

  “Oh, I’m indifferent. But, Anna, I don’t think he’s good enough.”

  “Really. Not good enough for me!”

  “Underrating yourself as usual. So you refused him, which refusal he took like a gentleman and asked leave to renew the invitation at a later date.”

  “How did you know?”

  “Regulation pattern. Mr. Callum would conform to it. I’m sure. He’s not for you, Anna.”

  I felt a great desire to defend him.

  “Why not?”

  “Good heavens you’re not coyly considering, are you?”

  “I’m not likely to get another invitation and many people believe it’s better to be married to someone one does not love than never to be married at all.”

  “You give in too easily. I prophesy that one day you will marry the man of your choice.”

  She narrowed her eyes and looked wise; and I knew what she was thinking.

  I said: “Well, I refused him and we’re still good friends. He gave me this.”

  I unwrapped the shawl and showed her.

  She took it from me and put it round her shoulders. It suited her to perfection; but then everything suited her.

  “So not being able to accept his proposal you accepted his shawl.”

  “It seemed churlish not to.”

  “He’ll renew his proposal,” she said. “But you’ll not accept him, Anna. It’s never wise to accept second best.” She had seen the fan and her eyes widened with horror. “A fan…a peacock feather fan! W
here did you get it?”

  “I bought it near Malabar Hill.”

  “It’s unlucky,” she said. “Didn’t you know? Peacock’s feathers are cursed.”

  “Chantel, what a lot of nonsense.”

  “Nevertheless,” she said, “I don’t like it. It’s tempting fate.”

  She picked up the fan and ran out with it. I ran after her. I caught her up at the rail; but she had already dropped the fan overboard.

  Fifteen

  There were hot days and nights when we crossed the Indian Ocean. We were too lazy to do very much but lie stretched out on our chairs on the port side of the ship. Only the two boys seemed to have any energy. I saw Redvers now and then; after the scene in his cabin he had appeared to avoid me for a few days, and then he ceased to do so. While we crossed this quiet tropical sea he had more leisure; and as Edward liked to be with him as much as possible, that meant that I often was too.

  Edward would say: “Come on, we’re going up to the bridge. The Captain said I might.”

  “I’ll take you up,” I told him, “and leave you.”

  “I know the way,” scorned Edward, “but the Captain said I could bring you too.”

  So we were there among the navigating instruments, and during the lapses when Edward was so absorbed in some instrument that he would cease to ask his shrill questions, we would exchange a word or two.

  “I’m sorry about that outburst,” he said to me on our first encounter after the scene. “It must have been most embarrassing for you.”

  “For you too,” I replied.

  “Not such a novelty for me.” It was the first time I had detected a note of bitterness in his voice.

  “I was terrified that it would have some disastrous effect.”

  “One of these days…” he said. His eyes, which seemed to have become even more blue since we were at sea, were fixed on the curve of the world where the sea met the duller-blue cloudless sky. “Yes, one of these days there will be.”

  Then he looked at me: his blue eyes piercing, interrogative. I felt my heart leap up. Was this another proposal, the proposal of a man who had a wife already living? Was he asking me “Wait”?