HSMTMTS
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The camp itself was beautiful. It was set right on the lake, surrounded by trees and, like, this beautiful natural landscape. Each age group had its own cluster of cabins, and there were larger buildings for the mess hall, the theater, and rehearsal spaces. It was like its own little idyllic world, and such a nice change from Salt Lake City. It felt good to switch things up.
The best thing about camp, though, was that we lived and breathed musicals. In the morning, they woke us up by blasting show tunes over the loudspeakers. Being jolted awake at seven a.m. by “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Mis is actually completely energizing. You’re motivated all day. If those people in Paris could stage a revolution, we could definitely stage a play in under four weeks. And then, at lunch, it seemed like someone would always hum a few bars of a random ballad, and suddenly the whole table would join in, and then the whole mess hall was spontaneously belting it out. Yeah, I know, it sounds kind of cheesy, but mostly it was amazing.
But our showcase production was really the best part. The way it worked at camp was we were divided into groups and at the end of the session, each group performed a final, main-stage play. This year’s plays were Hairspray; Once Upon a Mattress; Bye Bye Birdie; and the one I was in, The Music Man.
Have you ever seen it? It’s so good. It’s about this traveling salesman, Harold Hill, who sells expensive marching band instruments to all the kids in this small town in Iowa. And he promises he’ll teach them all how to play, but he doesn’t actually know a thing about music. And the town librarian, Marian, she’s the only one who sees right through his act. But then she ends up falling in love with him, and he with her, and…well, I don’t want to ruin the ending for you. You should see it for yourself. But it’s basically considered a classic of American Broadway musicals.
Anyway, every camper got to be in a play, but you still had to audition for parts. And they held auditions on the second day of camp, so there wasn’t a lot of time to settle in beforehand. For my tryout, I sang “Goodnight, My Someone,” a power ballad Marian sings. I was totally nervous. I’d been practicing at home before I left, but so had everyone else. You should have heard some of these kids sing. They were amazing. Still, I must have made an impression on the director, because for the first time ever, I was cast in not just an actual speaking part, but a featured supporting role. They cast me to play Eulalie Mackechnie Shinn, the mayor’s wife. She’s in a bunch of small group numbers, has a lot of lines, and supplies some major comic relief in the show. I couldn’t believe it. I messaged Kourt right when the cast list went up.
Niniukegirl: So excited! I got a great part with lines! I’m playing the mayor’s wife in The Music Man!
Kourtneymakeuptips1: I’m not surprised. I always knew you were destined for big things!
Niniukegirl: You were right! Camp is amazing!
Kourtneymakeuptips1: You go, girl! I wish I was coming up with your moms and grandma to see the show! So proud!
Oh, I almost forgot the other part. I was also cast as the understudy for Marian the librarian. She’s the lead of the entire show. That means the casting people liked me enough to consider me for the lead role but decided to go a different way, which was way flattering. The girl who got the lead, Emily Pratt, is so talented. I was hoping we could rehearse a ton together, which would have been pretty exciting.
This other pretty amazing thing happened, too. I talked to E. J. Caswell. Of course I knew who E.J. was. He’s kind of a big deal at East High. He’s co-captain of the water polo team and was set to be the senior class treasurer. But I mean, I mostly know him from our school plays, or more like know of him. He’s always been the male lead since I’ve been going to East High. He got the second lead starting his freshman year, which is basically unprecedented. But he is the type of person you can’t take your eyes off when he performs. Not just because he’s gorgeous, which, obviously, he is, but because he does this thing onstage where he commands it. He draws you in with this charismatic stage presence. Like when he played Herbie in Gypsy. Wow. People gave him a standing ovation. So yeah, I knew who E.J. was. What I didn’t know was that he went to my camp.
He caught me staring at him the first night in the mess hall. I didn’t mean to; I just did a double take because I wasn’t expecting to see him there. But he smiled at me, like he recognized me, too. I thought I must be imagining it, because why would he know who I was?
But then the second day of camp, after auditions, E.J. walked up to me. I thought maybe he thought I was someone else.
“Hey, you go to East High, right?” he said.
“Yes,” I said. I was so nervous I could barely talk.
“I thought so,” he said, smiling that dazzling E. J. Caswell smile. “You were in Gypsy with me, right? You played half the horse?”
I just nodded. Good thing Kourtney wasn’t there. She would not have been pleased with my total lack of girl-power presence. But I couldn’t help it. I was shocked.
“You had a really strong audition today,” he said. “I think you’ve been really undervalued at East High. I’ll be surprised if you don’t get a great speaking role in the production.”
Then he smiled and started to walk away. “Hey, it was good talking to you,” he said, turning back. “You should speak up more often. People should hear your voice.”
I basically floated on air for the rest of the day. It was the best day I’d had in a long time—until the next day, when they posted the cast list.
Did I miss Nini while she was at theater camp? Yeah. Of course I missed her. You’ve seen how incredible she is. I mean, any time you hang out with Nini is a good time. It’s easy with her. And she gets me.
With Nini gone and Big Red working at his parents’ pizza restaurant all the time, I didn’t really have anywhere to go over the summer. My folks were arguing all the time, so it seemed like I was always leaving the house. I didn’t want to have to listen to them fight. I wound up at the skate park a lot, kind of hanging out by myself.
I remember one night when my parents had been giving each other the silent treatment for two days, I couldn’t deal. I really wanted to call Nini, but I figured she was busy at theater camp, so I skateboarded to Big Red’s.
His basement is kind of like an escape pod. His mom is super sweet. She’s always asking me if I need anything. No matter what I answer, she usually hands me a fresh-baked brownie or a warm cookie or sometimes a bowl of popcorn. And his dad isn’t bad at video games, so he hangs out with us sometimes. But mostly in the basement, it’s just me and Big Red goofing off. Over the summer it had also been a lot of Big Red telling me to stop moping about Nini. That she’d be back in a few weeks and then I could try to hit un-pause. That’s a thing, right? Un-pause? Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s a thing. I think I’ve heard other people talk about it.
So this one night during what I called my parents’ fortress of silence, I popped over to Big Red’s, but his mom said he was running errands with his dad. I could have sat there and talked to her, but that seemed lame, so I headed to the skate park.
It was pretty crowded, since no one had to be up early for school or anything. The regulars were there. Some of them were filming their tricks, working on getting sponsors. I hung with them for a bit and worked on a couple of new things. I wasn’t really dialed in, though. I took a break to just watch and checked my phone in case Nini had decided to text. She hadn’t. But I did get a text from Big Red saying he’d be home around nine if I wanted to meet him at his place then.
Anyway, when I looked up, this cute girl completely wiped out right in front of me. Her girlfriend was trying to show her how to do an ollie, which is kind of the most basic skill for a beginner. She got up, so I knew she was okay. I guess I laughed a little and somehow caught her eye. She smiled. And I don’t know, we just started talking. Her name was Skye—with an e. That’s how she introduced herself.
She said she was new to skateboarding, which I had already figured out for myself. She had come with a bunch of her
friends, who seemed to be better skaters than teachers. So I gave her a few pointers that might help her out. And yes, she was really cute, so there was that.
But honestly, it was nice to talk to someone about regular stuff: summer movies we wanted to see, who had the best burgers in town, why concert ticket service fees were a scam. We both wanted to go see this acoustic guitar thing in a few weeks. I think she was giving me an opening to ask her to it, maybe. I don’t know. It was just a fun conversation.
It turned out she was a sophomore at North High. We joked about the whole East–North rivalry thing. She made a joke about it being like West Side Story, which is a musical, which made me think of Nini. And next thing I knew, I was telling her all about the Pause. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I guess I just really needed someone to talk to. And once I started talking about Nini, I couldn’t stop. It all sort of rushed out of me. I told her everything—about how Nini and I had met in kindergarten, how I had given her her nickname, and how last year I had finally gotten up the nerve to kiss her. It’s possible I told Skye about the Instagram song, too.
Let’s just say we went from flirting to friend zone in like two seconds. So yeah, I blew it with Skye. She mumbled something like “Well, I hope you can win her back, and maybe I’ll see you around sometime,” which is basically code for “not interested.” Then she went back to hanging out with her friends.
I told Big Red all about it once I got to his place. For someone who has never dated anyone, he’s pretty observant.
“You know, hitting pause on a relationship is so you can date other people,” he said matter-of-factly. “If all you want to do when you’re around other girls is talk about Nini, then maybe you should just be with Nini.”
“I guess that’s kind of obvious,” I told him.
“Maybe you needed to hit pause so that you could realize you don’t want to be on a pause,” he said.
“So you’re saying that hitting pause was the best thing I could have done for our relationship?” I asked.
“I guess so,” Big Red said.
Now all I had to do was let Nini know how I felt—which was great, except for one small problem: she would be gone at camp for several more weeks.
It’s still a little weird hanging out with E.J. I mean, of course he’d be at Ashlyn’s party. He is her cousin. And it was a theater kids’ party and he’s, like, king of the East High theater kids. And he loves (I mean really loves) Thanksgiving. It’s his favorite holiday. So his attending the party wasn’t the weird part. It’s just that it wasn’t that long ago that we were a thing. That’s what’s weird.
I didn’t go to theater camp looking for a show-mance. It just happened. Like how in The Music Man, Marian the librarian didn’t mean to fall for Harold Hill. But she did. And he fell for her—on the footbridge, of all places
How did E.J. and I start hanging out? Well, they posted the cast list on the third day of camp. I was…I mean, I don’t even know how to describe it. There was my name, listed next to a really great role and next to the lead understudy’s role. Happy doesn’t start to cover it. I felt, for the first time ever, like my talent was seen.
I was waiting in line at the mess hall that night when Kourtney texted again. She wanted me to know that I was not the only one with exciting news. She, too, had a new role, as president of her new club: the Future Is Female club. One thing I know about Kourt is that when she gets an idea in her head, there’s no point debating it. She said the new club, of which she was the only member, was the most important thing to happen that summer. She was making some point about how feminism started at home, and saying that clubs looked good on college applications, and that being a feminist got her out of chores and cooking around the house, which completely cracked me up. Seriously, that girl is the best. I can’t believe she couldn’t make it to the Thanksgiving shindig tonight. She would have loved it. And she would totally have helped things with E.J. be less awkward. But she had plans with her family, so I get it.
So E.J., right…our show-mance. I got Kourtney’s text in the mess hall, and I was doing that thing you’re not supposed to do, where you walk and text at the same time. And bam! I walked right into E.J.—like smack-dab into him, right in the middle of the mess hall.
In the movies, they’d call it a meet-cute. But in my life, I’d call it an embarrassing moment, except E.J. didn’t make me feel embarrassed. Actually, the opposite. He acted like he was glad I had run into him. I was not expecting him to be that sweet. I was a little taken aback. I guess I assumed…I don’t even know what I assumed. Maybe that a soon-to-be senior who always got the lead in the school play and who looked like a movie star would be on more of an ego trip? But he wasn’t.
“Hey, congratulations on landing Harold Hill,” I said.
“Congratulations on Mrs. Shinn and on being Marian’s understudy,” he said. “You know, understudies shadow the leads at every rehearsal, because it’s a great way to learn and expand your craft. And with poison ivy and allergies and stuff, it’s pretty common for understudies to step in. I’ve been coming to this camp since I was ten, and I’ve seen the understudy go on a bunch!”
Then we sat down and actually had dinner together. He told me he first started performing when he was like five. He came from this big music theater family, and he and Ashlyn and their other cousins were always putting on family plays growing up. Maybe that’s why he’s so comfortable onstage. I don’t know. But then he asked me about my family, and we talked about my moms and my grandma. It was nice. It was cool that E.J. wanted to know more about me and my family. And it didn’t hurt that he had a killer smile. When he smiles at you, with those eyes, it’s pretty hard not to melt.
After dinner, E.J. asked if he could walk me back to my cabin. There were a bunch of kids sitting outside the Hamilton cabin, and they all shouted hi as we walked by. It was like E.J. was the mayor of theater camp. Everyone knew him. But he chose me to walk with after dinner. We were cracking each other up, debating the merits of “Shipoopi” versus “Seventy-Six Trombones”—which is a totally normal theater camp conversation, but I was having it with E. J. Caswell, which was a totally not normal event in my life. I kept wondering if E.J. was interested in me or just being nice to me since we went to the same high school. I could hear Kourtney’s voice in my head saying, Of course he’s interested in you! Why not you? So I went with it.
“I’m really happy that we’re going to be at all the same rehearsals,” he said as we reached my cabin.
“Me too,” I said.
“And since you have to learn the whole Marian part, we can run lines and work on choreography and stuff together during free time,” he said.
“That sounds like fun,” was all I could say.
So yeah, that’s how it happened. That’s how our flirtship started.
High School Musical: The Choosical was actually a really fun game. It’s pretty sweet that Carlos kept that giant board game stashed in his room for ten years. He actually found the perfect occasion to bring it out. And seriously, the guy made up his own game! Who does that? It’s sort of amazing, right? He went all out with the details. And everyone was really into playing it. That’s something I’ve noticed about theater kids that’s different from skaters or the other kids I’ve hung around with at East High. Theater kids aren’t afraid to be creative. There’s no judgment. Everyone accepts you for who you are.
I’m still not exactly sure how I ended up here. I mean, dude, I’m the lead in the fall production of High School Musical. Troy Bolton! Me, a skater boy, full-on singing and dancing and everything. I got kicked out of The Greatest Showman because I kept talking in the movie theater about how musicals are not realistic. People don’t randomly break into song and start dancing. I totally remember that night when Nini and I went to see the movie. We weren’t dating yet or anything back then. We were just friends. We weren’t driving yet, either. So Nini’s moms dropped us off at the movie theater on their way downtown to meet some friends for dinner.
The Greatest Showman was obviously Nini’s choice. She’d watched the trailer a zillion times and was pretty amped to see it. I was…let’s just say less enthusiastic. I’d never even seen High School Musical at that point. To be honest, the first time I watched it was in the East High computer lab the day of auditions. I knew who Zac Efron was. I knew Hugh Jackman, but from his superhero stuff. I had no clue the guy could tap-dance. It wasn’t exactly a must-see movie for me. But since we were kids, Nini and I have had this thing where we alternate who gets to pick the movie. And it was her turn. So musical it was.
I couldn’t resist shouting at the screen, pointing out how silly parts were. That’s how we got kicked out. Nini was a little annoyed at first. But then the night turned out to be pretty fun. Nini’s moms weren’t picking us up for another hour, so we grabbed ice cream and walked around and talked. She’s a really great listener. I told her about how my parents had been fighting a lot. I hadn’t told anyone before that. Not even Big Red. I guess I thought if I kept it a secret, maybe it would go away. I think I might have been embarrassed, too. Or, like, ashamed or something. I didn’t want anyone to know that things weren’t ideal at home.
But that night, I blurted everything out to Nini. We were enjoying our mint chocolate chip and double chocolate brownie crunch ice cream, and the next thing I knew, I was telling her what had been going on at home. Yeah, I felt better sharing it with her. It wasn’t just about getting it off my chest, but how she made me feel after I told her. She knew the right things to say and not say. And she reminded me that she had my back, no matter what else was going on. She said I could always talk to her…about anything. I just knew that being with Nini made me feel like everything was going to be okay.