The Choice

by Alice Ward

  I woke Thomas from a dead sleep but could tell it was something he was accustomed to. He whistled low when I finally made it through the whole story and promised to get a team together to begin an investigation of Jewel as soon as possible.

  Tomorrow, I would confront Adara about her identity and initiate a more honest relationship with her. I hoped she’d received my letter and the flowers, but she didn’t mention them, though she’d been wearing the necklace I sent around her neck. Since they’d used me to dupe her with Jack, I was surprised she’d been given any of it. I’d hoped my message would open her up to me just a little.

  Though she’d given me her real name, I needed to find a way to get Adara to have enough confidence in me to trust me with her story. I would earn that trust.

  When I woke up midmorning the next day, I was feeling restless and excited. I wanted to rush to her suite and see if she’d slept well, if she was hungry. As the morning dragged into afternoon, and I’d heard nothing from her — no text, no phone call — I panicked for a moment thinking she may have left the house. I contacted Ms. White, who assured me that Adara was still sleeping peacefully.

  I’d canceled my business appointments for the day to spend the time with Adara and felt restless, like my organs wanted to crawl from my skin. To relax, I sat down at the piano in the sitting room near the main entrance hall. Playing the piano had always settled my nerves. I hadn’t realized I’d been playing for so long until I heard footsteps on the staircase behind me.

  I lifted my fingers from the keys and watched her struggle down the stairs with her cane.

  “Well, look who’s finally awake at four in the afternoon,” I teased, hoping she wouldn’t be offended by the jest. There was so much we still didn’t know about each other. So much to learn and uncover.

  She flashed a shy smile. She was still wearing that damn flesh-colored mask and one of the outfits my sister had left. She looked stunning in the jeans and billowing floral print, just the perfect mix of casual and ethereal. Her leg was in a brace, which made her gait stiff and awkward as she maneuvered down the stairs. At least she felt comfortable enough here to not hide her disability from me. I wanted to ask about her medical procedures and recovery, but I wanted her to tell me her story in her own time.

  I also wanted to jump up and help her, pick her up and carry her down the stairs. Hell, I’d install a damn elevator, but I didn’t want her to feel helpless. I could only hope she was steady enough to negotiate the stairs safely.

  “I’m glad you were able to get some rest,” I added, keeping my tone light and casual so she didn’t feel uneasy about her lengthy decent.

  The smile grew wider. “That’s the most comfortable bed in the world.”

  An image popped in my head of me lowering her to that bed, stripping her of that blouse, the jeans. When I would have risen and greeted her at the bottom of the stairs, I was forced to remain at the piano or give myself away. “Yes, I’m a sucker for a good memory foam mattress.”

  God, I’m so interesting. Maybe I could woo her into bed with my knowledge of mattresses. I needed to get a grip.

  “I didn’t know you played piano.” When she neared me, I could smell her scent, light and flowery and just her. “Well, I don’t really know much about you, do I? Other than what I’ve read on the internet…” She blushed and pressed her lips together.

  “Right. The young entrepreneur who’s taken the world by storm with his transoceanic ‘must haves.’ Ugh, I hate reading about myself. I’ve about stopped giving interviews because they take maybe half of what I say, then what they chop together makes me sound like an arrogant ass.” I felt that way, but I was actually titillated by the fact that she’d read about me online.

  “I was thinking about one of the ten most sexy men of the World Wide Web,” she said playfully.

  “Oh, that one’s even worse,” I exclaimed, rolling my eyes for effect. “I absolutely hate the way news outlets portray me as some kind of hot forager of unexplored business opportunities. It makes me feel so cheap and opportunistic.”

  Whether it was true or not, I wanted to think that she’d looked me up online because she was as interested in me as I was in her.

  “I know what you mean,” she agreed, and it took a second for it to click. All the news stories after Nate’s death. They’d painted her as guileful, like she’d only been with Nate for his money. Damn it. I really was one smooth operator. My heart dropped to the floor.

  To make her feel better, I told her one of my most embarrassing moments. “I once did a photo shoot that was supposed to be me surrounded by the things I import. It turned out that the photographer wanted me to pose with only the luxurious drapes. And that’s all.”

  She stared at me blankly for a second, then her eyes popped wide and she barked out a laugh. “In nothing but drapes?”

  “They thought it would be sexy and modern.” The way she was staring at me now, it was like she couldn’t imagine me even being asked to pose that way. Did that mean she didn’t think I was sexy?

  Wow, that’d be a twist. According to the internet, almost every woman on the planet found me attractive. So that certainly hadn’t been a problem up until now. Being seen as an asshole focused on capitalizing on a business venture over human interaction tended to be more of what I battled with.

  “Ah, you don’t think I’m sexy.” I hung my head and drew my lip downward, exaggerating disappointment.

  “No, no.” She moved closer. “I was just trying to imagine you… draped in… drapes. It would depend on the kind of drapes, would they be made of crepe or silk? Cause crepe would be hell on the skin.” She covered her hand with her mouth and snickered. When her gaze landed on the drapes in the living room, her eyes got even bigger and she pointed. “Do you mind giving me a little remake? We’ve got the props right here.”

  I hadn’t seen this lighthearted, teasing side of her, and I liked it. Her smile was happy, and her eyes shone.

  “Right.” I gave her a knowing look. “Mind if I put on some music?”

  She lifted a shoulder. “If that’s what you need to get you in the mood, Mr. Sexiest International Tradesman. What you were playing was nice.”

  “Thanks, but I’m just an amateur piano player. Let’s have some lunch and listen to the pros.” I reached for my phone on the edge of the piano and put on a play list I’d organized this morning. Adara Wilde’s “Mamma Ain’t Gonna Lie” was the third song. I had a few minutes to warm her up before things were possibly going to get tense.

  “Sure. I like listening to you play, though. I’ve been up for a while and could hear from the west wing. You’re quite good.”

  “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “It was nice, lying in bed and listening to you play.” Her eyes darkened and fell to my lips, my chest… my hands.

  The sudden image flooded my brain of her lying on white sheets, piano music all around, and nothing between us but notes filling the air.

  My cock stood at attention, and I couldn’t take the torture of not knowing any longer. I stood, using the piano to block my lower half. “About last night…”

  “Yes. I haven’t thanked you enough, Roman. The necklace.” She fingered it around her neck. “The flowers and card. I—”

  “No, I just… I don’t want you to think I would take advantage of you. I want you to know that I think highly of you and I would never…” My gaze landed on her lips and seemed to stick there, like magnets to metal.

  “Kiss me if I didn’t want you to?”

  That broke me out of my trance, and my eyes shot up to hers. “Yes. Exactly. I’d…” I moved closer. “I’d never kiss you if you didn’t want it. Never do anything you didn’t want.”

  Her lips were drawing me in again, and I wanted to taste them, nibble them, run my tongue over them. Taste the rest of her. I wanted to lay her out on the piano and stroke her until she hit a high note just for me.

  The idea of her splayed out on the piano led to a fast fantasy of
fucking her till dawn, making me flush, my dick stiffening with desire.

  Damn it, how was I going to keep myself away from this woman?

  Her face had gone scarlet, and she stuttered, “I know some ninja moves, I’ll just warn you.” She threw up her arms into a karate stance. “But I’m not sure they’re effective against the Sexiest Tradesman.”

  “Stand down, princess, let’s have lunch first.” I blocked her maneuver, took her hand in mine, and led her to the dining room where Ms. White had set out a beautiful lunch of roasted chicken and herb salad.

  “This looks wonderful.” She smiled, squeezing my hand before letting it go. “And this table. If I sit at one end and you sit at the other, we’d need to text to communicate.” She went to the far end of the table and waved.

  I laughed. “We can play king and queen later. My sister and I used to. Right now, though, I was hoping you’d sit beside me.” I gestured to the place setting that was already next to mine.

  As she made her way around the table to her chair, it happened. Her song came on, and she froze, her hand gripping the back of her chair. All the color drained from her face as she stood there immobilized.

  I too was frozen, with hope and trepidation, but also in fear that she would be hurt or angry. I tried to relay my care and compassion in my gaze. “This is one of my favorite songs, Adara.”

  Her eyes found mine and were glassy with tears.

  My eyes never left hers. “It’s beautiful. I’m curious, what was your inspiration?”

  I didn’t want to play games, and I didn’t think it would help her to live a lie any longer. She’d have to face this moment sooner or later. I was helping her do just that as gently as I could.

  I watched her suck in a deep breath and hold herself together. She didn’t say a word.

  I realized she needed to be eased into this, so I continued, “I ask because I know the story about the little girl you wrote it for. But when I listen to the words, they seem more personal, more heartfelt than just the vision of a young girl with her mother. I wondered if this song wasn’t about that child, but was instead about you as a little girl.”

  I was coming on strong, so left off the part about her as a child wanting a mother who didn’t lie, but I could tell she got my meaning. I wanted her to trust me, to confide in me, to show me her true self.

  As I watched her, the first part of her façade crumbled. Silent tears dripped down her face.

  My heart panged. “I don’t want to upset you. It’s the farthest from my intentions, but we need to be honest with one another. I can’t imagine how painful it’s been… like living a nightmare, I suppose. You don’t have to remove your mask or reveal any more of yourself to me if you don’t want to. I’m not asking for that. Though I wish you would trust in me that way.”

  She finally moved, raising her hand to wipe at a tear. “I…” She shook her head.

  “Believe me when I tell you, I’ve wanted to escape the world as well, and trust me, there are still days I wish I could. I’ll give you a home and a sanctuary here for as long as you need it, all I ask is that you not lie to me.”

  She nodded and sat down heavily, blindly stared at the wall across from her, still not speaking.

  Not wanting to push her further and knowing she hadn’t eaten since sometime yesterday, I dropped the subject. “May I offer you some chicken?”

  Her song played on, the only sound in the room for a moment.

  “Yes please,” she whispered in a daze.

  I took her plate, dishing up a healthy serving and did the same with mine. While the moment was very uncomfortable, this was actually going better than I expected. She took a bite of chicken, almost in a trance. However, she didn’t come apart or flee or make up more lies. It was progress.

  “After lunch, I thought we’d take my horses out and have a ride around the property. The family owns most of this mountain, I’m embarrassed to say, but it’s really beautiful land. There’s a lake with a waterfall nearby and lots of interesting waterfowl, especially this time of year. Do you think you’d be up for something like that? It won’t be too rigorous, just a nice ride.”

  As I spoke, her expression turned sad, and I couldn’t think of why riding a horse in the mountains to a beautiful lake would make a person sad. Unless they couldn’t ride… I really am an imbecile.

  Her leg. She couldn’t ride a horse.

  I threw the plan in reverse and switched gears. “There’s also an ATV in the barn, it’s called a side-by-side. Handy thing. Kind of a cross between a four-wheeler and a golf cart. It’ll get you anywhere practically.”

  Her eyes slowly moved to mine and I could see the gratefulness there. I was surprised my heart didn’t fall out onto my plate. It took me a second to catch my breath again.

  “We can have a little adventure and look at the mountains, watch the birds…” Kiss.

  Well, hello, Mr. Indecent. You know exactly what you want to do with her, and it isn’t watching birds.

  “That sounds nice,” she answered, still mostly in a trance.

  “Do you hate me for calling you out? I don’t want to cause you more pain.” I took a bite of chicken to ensure I couldn’t say anything completely idiotic before she answered.

  “I guess it was going to happen sooner or later,” she whispered and looked down at her plate.

  “I’m quite a fan of your music. I have all of your CDs and a rare live recording. I’m trying to keep my cool here.” With my more than obvious fan boy crush written across my face, heat flared all over my body, my cock standing up so straight he could’ve led a marching band.

  Great. Now she was going to think I was some kind of crazed fan who wanted to lock her up here. Fuck her silly. Keep her forever.

  I swallowed down the dry lump of tension in my throat, and as discreetly as I could, floated my cloth napkin to hide the boner bandleader.

  She remained silent, so I cleared my throat. “What I mean to say, is I admire your work. I’m not some crazed whack job.”

  She reached her hand out and placed it on top of mine. “Roman, I’m not that person anymore.” Her voice was weighted down with sorrow.

  I didn’t want her to be sad, but the depression now hanging in the room was certainly helping my boner take a seat, which was a relief.

  “I don’t know you — the real you. The rock star you and the Butterfly you are images created by a fantasy brought to life. While I admit I’ve got a bit of a rock-star crush on Adara Wilde, the woman seated next to me is still just as much a mystery as she was when I met her a couple days ago. What I do know is that you have a choice to be who and what you want. Your life is going to be different now, just as you’re different inside now. You can be whoever you want to be, Adara.” Well, that wasn’t so badly spoken. Perhaps I was getting my mojo back.

  She took another bite, chewed thoughtfully as she continued to gaze at me. The fear had faded, and her eyes looked more alive with each chew.

  “Just so you know, I really like the woman I’ve come to know so far.”

  Finally, the sweet expression I was becoming accustomed to when she looked at me took over her face. “And I really like the man I’ve come to know so far. You definitely have good taste in music, though I wouldn’t have taken you for a rock fan.”

  She was playing with me. Additional progress.

  “I’m multi-faceted.” I met her eyes, looked deep to make sure I hadn’t caused unnecessary harm.

  We both fell silent as the next song came on. My urge was to blather on, fill the silence, but I’d already dug quite a deep hole for myself.

  “This singer, Rain McAvery…” She closed her eyes and listened the song currently playing for a few moments. “She was one of my best friends in the industry.”

  “Was?” I acted on instinct and reached out for her hand and held it.

  “She never called me after the accident. Her agent sent flowers. Rumors had already started that I’d refused to leave the stage that night. They we
re saying things like I was a whore for the spotlight. Insinuating I may as well have killed him.” She shook her head and the look in her eyes told me she was remembering the way everything had spiraled downward after that night.

  “Adara, listen.” I opened my heart, throwing my fears out the window. I reached over, turned the phone off, wondering if every song would have ties for her. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

  “I don’t know if I did or not. I’ve never been able to remember everything that happened.”

  “You didn’t. I know.” I took a deep breath. “I was there.”

  Her head snapped up. “What?”

  “I attended that concert. I saw it all from the VIP lounge. You did exactly what security instructed, so did Nate. The storm was supposed to hit farther to the west, and it didn’t. Then, the crowd didn’t want to comply. They didn’t want to miss the acclaimed couple. But no one could have known what would happen.”

  Her eyes searched mine. “They told me he gave up his own life protecting me.”

  I huffed. “Of course he did. What man in his right mind wouldn’t? Look, I know I didn’t know you, but I always followed your work and was so shocked and sad for you. Then when you didn’t surface, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to find you.” I sighed, realizing how I sounded. “I swear I’m not a crazy fan.”

  That made her smile at least, so I plowed on. “My knowing who you are doesn’t change anything for you. It doesn’t erase painful memories or recover any of what you’ve lost. All it does is make us more honest with each other, so that whatever… friendship arises out of this situation is based on truth. Your secret is safe with me as long as you want to keep it. You can stay as disappeared as you’ve been. But it allows us to stop talking in circles, get to know each other and get things out in the open between us. Without you being some ethereal creature from heaven.” I smiled, hoping the joke would lighten the mood. “Just slap me and tell me to shut up if you want.”

  “I can’t.” Tears shined in her eyes as she smiled at me. “I have to help Brandy, and I need your help to do it. She’s the only person who’s stuck by me, even if I doubted her at times. If I’d actually shot Jack, it could have made her an accessory to—”