Before Wallis

by Rachel Trethewey

  Most of the time the prince was exhilarated by the public reaction, but there were moments when he was over-tired and became depressed. Most exhausting were his visits to hospitals, where he insisted on speaking to every ex-soldier he came across. His compassion was genuine and it drained him emotionally.43 When he met the widows and parents of soldiers who had been killed in the war, they looked into his face and saw sympathy and understanding. He took time to speak to each person individually and that made a great impression on them.44

  However, although he was so good at his role, he believed that he was living an unnatural life for a 25-year-old. Describing his position as if it was just a job, in one letter to Freda he wrote that he felt like resigning.45 Although he appeared so natural, his official duties were done at a great personal cost to himself. He found public speaking stressful. Meeting so many people who had such high expectations of him was a constant strain, particularly as he had no partner by his side to share the experience. He wanted Freda there to comfort him and boost his self-esteem. He felt that he was putting on an act. Reflecting the duality of his personality, he believed that there was the real him, known only to those closest to him, and the public persona who was adored by the public. As time went on the gap between the image and the reality became a chasm. In his letters to Freda he exposed his vulnerabilities and lack of self-esteem. He could not reconcile how he felt about himself with the hero worship he received and it made him feel a fraud. He wanted his private life to be his own affair and totally separate from his public one; he could never accept that the two were inextricably intertwined. When he said to Freda that he had had enough of ‘princing’ and wanted to be an ordinary person with a life of his own, as always, she was honest with him. She told him that he could not be an ordinary person because he was born to be king and whether he liked it or not, that fate was awaiting him. He could not escape it.46

  Overall the Canadian trip was a great success. The Canadians had taken him into their hearts and he had inspired genuine affection, which was due to his appealing personality more than his position. This personal triumph increased Edward’s self-confidence. He had enjoyed the informality of Canadian life and he told Freda that he had become ‘the completest democrat’.47 He bought a ranch in Alberta and, in a foretaste of what was to happen with Wallis, he fantasised about leaving England and giving up his responsibilities to settle there with Freda. He wrote that if she would move to Canada he would never want to return to England. He explained: ‘I’ve got thoroughly bitten with Canada and its possibilities, it’s the place for a man, particularly after the great war, and if I wasn’t P. of W. well, guess I’d stay here quite a while!! But alas I am P. of W!!’48 In another letter he wrote that if he resigned he would be ‘free to live or die according to how hard I worked though I should have you all to myself sweetheart and should only then be really happy and contented’.49

  Another, more dangerous fantasy was that they would commit suicide together. The prince wrote in one letter to Freda that, like her, he wanted to die young, adding ‘how marvellously divine if only WE could die together; there’s absolutely nothing I could wish for more though perhaps you don’t quite feel like that darling one and why should you? But I’m just dippy to die with YOU even if we can’t live together.’50 His flippant sentiments about such an extreme action reflected a fascination with death that was common among Edward’s generation. Some men who had seen the carnage of the First World War and survived it felt a sense of emptiness in the post-war era. In their rebellion against their parents’ generation, they exalted youth and feared growing old. Suicide became a 1920s malaise as growing numbers of young people considered self-destruction. In Paris there was even a suicide club, which drew lots once a year to see which of their members would take his life. For this group, committing suicide was seen as the bravest, purest expression of contempt for the futility of life. Edward’s idea of suicide with his lover was also not unique. After harbouring the fantasy for many years, the wealthy publisher and socialite of the jazz age Harry Crosby committed suicide with one of his girlfriends in 1929.51

  After a brief return to England, in March 1920 Edward was sent abroad again for a seven-month tour of Australia and New Zealand. This time he took his cousin Lord Louis Mountbatten with him. Louis was six years younger than the prince, but he became his closest companion and confidant. Lord Louis recalled that when he collected the prince from Freda’s house, Edward cried like a baby all the way to Victoria Station. He worried about the other men who would pursue her while he was away and told her that he felt totally tied to her. Separation only made Edward’s love stronger and being apart from his supportive lover reduced him to a nervous wreck. He turned his cabin on HMS Renown into a shrine to her by sticking up all her photographs. He lived for the arrival of her letters; his staff dreaded the days when no letters came from her to lift his spirits.

  Separated from the flesh-and-blood Freda, he idolised her; she became his Madonna or goddess whom he worshipped. As later with Wallis, the prince was a romantic who portrayed his relationship with Freda as the greatest love affair of all time. He was ecstatic when she wrote to him that she adored him ‘as people loved once long ago, as they love no more and as they will never love again!!’ He said that she had exactly expressed his own feelings. He described their love as ‘sacred and holy’.52 He told her that he was obsessed with the thought of marrying her but, unlike with Wallis, he did nothing to precipitate it. Instead, he believed that fate and time would bring them together forever one day and that something would happen which would allow them to belong to each other legitimately. He promised: ‘Mon amour I swear I’ll never never marry any other woman but YOU!!!!’53

  During his Australian tour, it seems that the prince hoped that Freda was pregnant with his child. He had first hinted that he would like to have a baby with her the previous year. When nothing came of his hopes he was deeply disappointed. Biographers suggest that Edward may have been sterile due to a serious attack of mumps he suffered while at Dartmouth Naval College in 1911.54 The difference between Freda and the prince’s later love, Wallis Simpson, was that his earlier mistress always knew the rules of the game. Although at times he talked about wanting her to have his child and be with her forever, she knew that he could never marry her and be king.

  Edward believed that Freda was good for him. He claimed that she had set him high standards that he tried to live up to in both his private and public life. She had made him more of a man and less of a boy. He wrote to her that if only they could live together, ‘I would become of some use perhaps and have a will of my own and be strong!’55 He admitted that he was not strong by nature and relied on other people to bolster him up. Many of the people closest to the prince, including Louis Mountbatten, thought Freda was a good influence. During the Australian tour Lord Louis wrote to his mother, the Marchioness of Milford Haven, about how ‘stiff and unnatural’ the king and queen’s letters to Edward were. Lord Louis was very close to his own mother and he felt that his cousin did not know what it was like to have a real, comforting mother like her. He added:

  He’s only had one ‘mother’, though he’d be the last person in the world to admit it, and that is his great friend Freda Dudley Ward, who is so nice, and about whom you have probably heard – Oh, such wicked lies. She’s absolutely been a mother to him and he has brought all his troubles to her and she has comforted and advised him, and all along he has been blind, in his love, to what the world was saying.56

  Lord Louis Mountbatten’s comments were rather unfair to Queen Mary. She had tried her best to be a supportive and loving mother to her son. At times her reserved nature had stood in the way of establishing the rapport the prince desired, but at other periods, for instance at the end of the war, their relationship had been close. Edward was such an emotionally needy character that it was hard for any woman, whether his mother or lover, to fulfil his unrealistic expectations of what an intimate relationship involved for any prolonged leng
th of time. As his latest confidant, it seems that Lord Louis was relying on Edward’s self-pitying version of events.

  In Australia, as in Canada, the prince was mobbed by crowds. Australian ex-servicemen were particularly enthusiastic. They all wanted to touch him: they would drag him out of his car and pass him from one to another, shoulder high, in the streets or shake his hand and slap him on the back until he was bruised.57 There was a freshness about him. He seemed sensitive and his capacity to be moved by what he saw melted the hearts of people who were usually critical of monarchy. His eyes would fill with tears if he was told a sad story or saw deprivation.58

  While he continued to charm the public, Edward was increasingly difficult in private. His spoilt behaviour was hard for his staff to handle. His equerry Joey Legh complained that he often lost his temper and behaved like ‘a naughty school-boy’.59 Even his close friend Lord Louis Mountbatten found it difficult to keep the prince cheerful. Lord Louis believed his cousin was a sad and lonely person, prone to deep depression. Edward told Lord Louis that he would give anything to change places with him.60 He particularly disliked the formal dinners, receptions, parades and balls he had to attend. Knowing that his every dance partner would be recorded in the newspapers, the prince made sure that he sent edited versions of his encounters to Freda. He asked her not to be ‘thulky’ because he found it nauseating dancing with other women and wanted only her. However, as usual he was not completely truthful. While in Australia he had an intense flirtation with Mollee Little, a friend of Sheila Loughborough, whose sensuous, dark looks reminded the prince of Sheila. They enjoyed dancing together and laughed constantly. According to Joey Legh, Mollee was considered rather ‘vulgar’ as she wore low, backless dresses. She was not asked to official parties in Sydney society.61 However, the prince was so keen on her that he made sure she was invited. He pretended to Freda that Louis Mountbatten was ‘smitten’ with her but he was the one who was infatuated. He admitted to Freda that he liked her to be a bit jealous; it seems to have been part of the dynamic of their relationship that they told each other about the other people who were attracted to them.

  While Edward was in Australia Sir Francis Newdegate, Governor of Western Australia, observed the heir to the throne. He liked the prince and he admired his manners and friendliness. Edward was kind and considerate to everyone, whatever section of society they came from; the governor’s housemaid said he was so affable she could not believe he was royalty. He noted that Edward liked to talk to ‘a sprightly elderly woman of the world’. Earlier in his tour, while he was in Adelaide, he made friends with Grace, Lady Weigall, who was the wife of Sir Archibald Weigall, the Governor of South Australia. The wealthy daughter of the furniture magnate Sir John Blundell Maples, Lady Weigall was a lively woman in her 40s whom Sir Francis described as ‘painted and enamelled, covered with jewels and a bit vulgar’.62 She was just the type of older woman the prince liked, and he was soon turning to her as a mother figure. The governor’s wife would stay up late with him, listening sympathetically while he poured his heart out to her. They became so friendly that Lady Weigall gave up her sitting room to him and sent a message saying that he could use it for any purpose he liked and have ‘fairies’ there.63 After his visit to Adelaide, Edward wrote effusively to his new friend thanking her for ‘all your sweetness to a very worn out little boy who really was beginning to think the whole show to [sic] big for him and too much to go thro’ with’.64

  The other woman who continued to make his time in Australia tolerable was Mollee. Sir Francis Newdegate wondered if the prince’s relationship with her was serious. He thought Mollee was very attractive and that she could hold her own anywhere in a way no other Australian girl could. The governor added: ‘He might do much worse.’ With a considerable degree of insight, Sir Francis wrote to a friend that he wished the prince would get married to ‘some real nice woman, but to keep him she would have to be very strong and clever’.65

  With the prince away for such a long time his parents hoped to break up Freda and Edward’s relationship. Lord Esher was once again asked to Balmoral and this time he accepted the invitation. During his stay, he was teased about ‘Princess Freda’ and the royals complained about her friends. However, he made a good case for her and tried to suggest ways of putting the illicit relationship on a more satisfactory basis.66 Lord Esher wrote to the prince afterwards about his visit, telling him that the queen was very kind to him. She was good company and very understanding. He told Edward that his mother cared ‘tremendously’ for him.67

  The prince considered Lord Esher to be a good friend to him. The older man also championed Freda and Edward’s relationship when he met the Archbishop of York, Cosmo Lang. Esher wrote to the prince that the archbishop had been ‘well-primed’ about the affair, probably by the king’s private secretary, Lord Stamfordham. During their meeting, there was talk about marriage; however, to Esher’s surprise the prelate said some very sensible things. Archbishop Lang realised that the prince might have a worse friend than Freda. By the end of their conversation, Esher believed that he had made the archbishop see that there might be something ‘rather chic’ about having a bachelor king.68 More than a decade later, when Cosmo Lang was in his next position as Archbishop of Canterbury, he found himself at the centre of the abdication crisis. Dealing with Mrs Simpson and Edward’s determination to marry her, no doubt he thought that he had been right to consider that the prince could be in a relationship with someone far worse than Mrs Dudley Ward.

  While Edward was away in Australia the king persuaded Bertie to end his fling with Sheila Loughborough, rewarding him with the title Duke of York for his obedience. Bertie told his brother that the king had also spoken to him about Edward’s relationship with Freda. When he heard what had happened, Edward was furious, writing to his lover: ‘If HM [His Majesty] thinks he’s going to alter me by insulting you he’s making just about the biggest mistake of his silly useless life.’69 The prince was right to be concerned. Freda became convinced that their relationship was doomed. A very private person, she found all the gossip about her upsetting and she feared that it might be detrimental for her daughters. Seeing no future for her relationship with the prince, she tried to end it by telling him that they must make the greatest sacrifice of their lives and give up their love. The prince was shattered by her suggestion. Feeling isolated and tired, thousands of miles away from her, he went to bed and cried. He told her that whatever happened, he loved, adored and worshipped her ‘as no man has ever loved adored or worshipped before or ever will again’.70

  As with Wallis during the abdication crisis, Edward just would not let Freda go, and bit by bit he eroded her resolve. He used every form of emotional blackmail he could muster. He told her that if they split up he could not go on with the tour. He explained to her that she would never know how much pain her letter had caused him. He said that he did not know how he could carry on without her wonderful influence and advice. He made her delay any decision until he was back in London when they could discuss it properly. He refused to be intimidated by his parents and the court into ending their relationship and said they should only change things for their own sakes or for Freda’s girls. He asked what Duddie thought about the situation, adding that if he ‘produced that big stick’ it would be different, but he had not done that yet and seemed unlikely to do so. Perhaps suggesting that he would consider ending the sexual side of their relationship provided he could continue to see Freda as his greatest friend and confidante, he wrote in terms that would give Freudians a field day: ‘From now onwards I’ll twy [sic] to teach myself to look on you only as Fredie Mummie though it’s going to be the hardest task of my life; […] but I swear I will twy [sic], though a chap can love his mummie.’71

  The prince became so depressed after Freda’s letter that members of his staff guessed what had happened. Joey Legh wrote to his fiancée, Sarah, that Edward had sent endless cables in code. He noted that he had never seen the prince so upset before. He
wrongly suspected that Duddie had been sent for by the royal family and told that the whole affair must stop.72 The only person Edward confided in was his closest friend on the tour, Lord Louis Mountbatten. Lord Louis wrote to his mother: ‘She [Freda], sensible creature that she is, is trying to shift the friendship to a more platonic and casual footing (but please don’t tell anyone) and he is rather miserable, but is beginning to see that it is best so.’73 He also observed that Edward was overworked on the tour. Even Lord Louis got very tired and at times did not know what he was doing. He added that the Australians worshipped the prince. From 8 a.m. to 1 a.m. up to a thousand people had stood around the gates of Government House in Adelaide in the hope of catching a glimpse of him. Feeling insecure in his relationship with Freda, all this pressure was too much, and the prince found it hard to complete his tour. The press reported that he rambled in his speeches. He seemed close to a breakdown. His parents and the government were so concerned that they postponed Edward’s trip to India and Japan, which had been planned for later that year.

  Once the prince returned to England he seemed to slot back into his old relationship with Freda. From autumn 1920 until the autumn of 1921 he had a whole year in England before his next tour. During part of this time, his parents decided that he needed a break from official duties after overworking on the Australian tour. They wanted him to rest, eat well, sleep well and enjoy country pursuits, but Edward had other ideas.74 He wanted to spend as much time as possible with Freda. While he had been abroad she had sold her Cumberland Terrace house for £10,000, making a profit of £6,000 on it in just over a year. However, Edward was sad to see the house go as he had seen it as ‘our house’.