by Tiana Laveen
“What are you smilin’ about? This isn’t funny!” Aaron stood up.
“No, no, Aaron. I’m not laughing at you. I was just thinking of something else. I’m sorry.
Look, I’m not saying what you’re saying may not be true, but I doubt it. Could you at least meet her? There would be no harm in that,” Dr. Owen pleaded.
“I don’t know. A part of me would love to see her, but the other part of me knows she’s untrustworthy.” Aaron crossed his arms.
“I tell you what. What if I arranged it off campus, and I came with you? You know I’m trying to get you released early, so I wouldn’t want anything to happen as you described. Let me meet her as well, and I’ll be able to tell you what I think, OK?”
Dr. Owen offered.
“Oh, man.” Aaron rubbed his head as he thought it over. “OK, OK, I’ll meet her.”
“Great. I’ll make the final arrangements. Plan to meet her next week on Friday.” Dr. Owen stuck out his hand to shake Aaron’s.
“Thanks,” Aaron said as he returned to his cell.
* * *
“Mia,” Trudy said, her eyes looking deep into her cousin’s, “I just don’t believe this. I can’t believe what you just told me.
You and I are more than cousins – we’re best friends, and for the past six months, you’ve been keeping this secret from me.
I’m totally dumbfounded, Mia.” Trudy crossed her arms as she stood outside in the warm breeze. Mia tucked her shirt in her jeans and threw her gym bag into the trunk of her car.
“Look, Trudy. I don’t know if I’m dreamin’ or havin’ a nightmare. Please don’t make it any worse.”
“You’ve been havin’ some kinda strange relationship with a Nazi! You’ve spoken to him on the phone! You’ve seen him!
You actually seem in love! This is sick! And after what happened to us, why would you even want a White man to look in your direction?” Trudy rolled her eyes. “We meet up at the gym twice a week. We go out to eat once a week. We talk practically every night, and not once did you tell me you were talkin’ to a jailbird, a Nazi one at that! Your daddy would roll over in his grave if he knew!” Trudy yelled.
“Lower your damn voice!” Mia’s eyes grew large with warning. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. It was just somethin’
to do, and it turned into somethin’ more. What the hell am I s’posed to do now? Oh, and this has nothin’ to do with that nasty, dried-up preacher that visited Daddy’s church,” Mia spat.
“Yeah, it does. He touched you and me and many other Black children. He was givin’ the church money, and everyone trusted him. We were all violated,” Trudy said, snatching Mia’s arm.
“Yeah, we were, but that doesn’t mean I hate White people!
That was one White person, Trudy – one! What about our great grandmother? She was White! She was good to us. Does she not count anymore? What about our teacher, Mrs. Bradshaw, who used to drive us home and bake us cookies? What about Mr.
Leonard, who’d let us pick the apples off of his tree and tell us stories? All you wanna do is concentrate on the one bad apple, but one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole bunch! That’s exactly the type of horrible thinkin’ Aaron has. A few Black people treated him badly, now he’s mad at the world.” Mia slammed her trunk down.
“OK, Mia, your secret’s safe with me, but I’m worried.”
Trudy’s eyes watered.
“Trudy, I know I may seem like a dumb, country bumpkin sometimes, but I do have sense.
I knew Aaron was different after we spoke a couple of times.
I don’t know what’s goin’ on between him and me, but I’d like to find out. Just wish me luck, please.” Mia hugged Trudy and kissed her cheek before driving home to get ready for her meeting with Aaron.
* * *
Mia stepped out of her car. Her legs were covered in black, thigh-high stockings; four-inch stiletto heels; and a short, red miniskirt. A fitted, black-and-red striped shirt accented her breasts nicely along the low, deep V-neck. She showed just the right amount of cleavage. She wore a red pendant, and her hair was down in beautiful, lush, black spirals. She grabbed her purse and overnight bag and headed to the apartment complex across the brightly lit parking lot. Five guards stood watch, holding their guns as she made her way inside. She used the identification that Dr. Owens had provided and proceeded through a series of checkpoints. She began to perspire as her nervousness overcame her. She was so close to meeting him, touching him, and smelling him after months and months of buildup. She constantly replayed in her mind how luscious he looked on the basketball court, as well as how cold his facial expression was.
“Melissa Brighton, please enter the apartment. We hope you enjoy your stay, and if you have any concerns or questions, please let us know,” a security guard said as he looked her up and down, admiring her beauty. Mia opened the door and saw the apartment had been cleaned and prepped. She could faintly smell bleach and Pine-Sol as well as potpourri. She walked past the kitchenette towards the bedroom. A Queen-sized bed sat in the small room, along with a dresser and television. She pulled open the dresser drawer and noticed a Bible and a bag of various condoms and lubricants. She closed the drawer and placed her bag on the bed. Her nervousness grew even more as she paced the bedroom, eventually leaving and looking at the tiny, light blue bathroom. She walked into the living room which had another television; an outdated, sunken-in couch; and a coffee table with a cheap, artificial floral arrangement.
“At least everything’s clean,” she said to herself. Suddenly, she heard footsteps approach the door. They were heavy. She saw someone standing on the other side of the front door, silent.
She heard a key. She grabbed her necklace, breathing rapidly, and opened her mouth gasping for air.
Dr. Owen’s muffled voice said, “Go on in, Aaron. I’ll be in in a couple of minutes. I want you to have time to meet her by yourself.” The door slowly swung open. Aaron walked inside and set his gaze upon her.
* * *
They stood there looking at one another for what seemed like an eternity. Aaron’s mustache and goatee were precisely trimmed. He had spent the entire morning ensuring that he was a sight to behold. His brown hair with natural highlights looked like waves of wheat in the moonlight. His eyes glowed with rage.
His black jeans fit him nicely as he stuffed his hands into his pockets, causing them to slouch towards his shiny black shoes.
He wore a white V-neck T-shirt that made his already tan skin seem darker. He stood by the front door, throwing daggers in Mia’s direction. He refused to speak. Mia looked down at the ground, tears falling from her eyes onto the floor. Minutes passed. Aaron continued to stand by the front door, refusing to move, blink, or acknowledge her. Dr. Owen came into the room, slowly closing the door behind him. He moved around Aaron cautiously, looking at his expression then back over at Mia.
“Aaron, have a seat please,” Dr. Owen said solemnly. Aaron slowly made his way over to the couch and sat on the arm.
“Aaron, I want you to know, that I didn’t know that Melissa, her name’s actually…”
“…Mia. I know her name,” Aaron said dryly.
“OK – I didn’t know what was going on until she came to my office and let me know she’d been corresponding with you. This was after you and I discussed the conjugal visit and your early release. I take it you remember her name from your friend at the basketball game?” Dr.
Owen said calmly.
“No,” Aaron said coolly.
“How then?” Dr. Owen asked, perplexed.
“I looked through all of her letters and poems very carefully, over and over. I told her that they were the only thing that kept me company sometimes. The second-to-the-last one was signed
‘Mia,’” Aaron replied.
“How long have you known this?” Dr. Owen asked, clasping his hands over his lap.
“Since right after I agreed to this. I couldn’t’ figure out why she’d lie about her name,” Aar
on said coldly. Mia sat down behind them in a chair that was up against the wall.
“I wasn’t sure it was the woman from the basketball court, but I thought about it.” Aaron stood up and walked towards the front door. “I’m ready to leave now, Dr. Owen,” he said composedly, refusing to look at Mia.
“So, because I’m Black, it changes everything?” Mia screamed as she stood up from the chair. Aaron kept his back turned towards her.
“I’m ready to leave now, Dr. Owen.” He stuck his hands in his pockets, ignoring Mia.
“Aaron, you can leave in a few minutes. I need you to tell Mia why you want to leave and how you feel first.” Aaron gulped and bit his bottom lip before turning around to look at Mia.
He walked briskly over to her. She ducked, putting her arm up.
“Stop it. Put your arm down!” Aaron yelled. Mia slowly lowered her arm and looked up at him.
“You lied to me. You reeled me in. You played games with me. You’re a fraud. You let me fall in love with you through countless letters, phone calls, and poems. I never lied to you –
not once! I told you about my life. I told you things no one else knows about. How could you do somethin’ like this?” Aaron smirked, resisting the urge to scream.
“And then you wanna know why I don’t trust you people –
fuckin’ liars.” He turned to leave again.
“Aaron, I need you to stay here tonight, with her. I’ll be in the room across the hall should either of you need me.”
“You just said I could leave after I tell her how I feel! What kinda Mickey Mouse game are you playin’?” Aaron screamed.
A guard rushed inside.
“Is everything alright in here?” he asked, looking at the three of them.
“Yes, Percy, everything’s fine,” Dr. Owen said, sending him on his way.
“Aaron, I’m going to need you to confront your issues through Mia. This isn’t an option.
Your early release is contingent upon it. All I ask is that you talk to her tonight.”
“I’ve said all that I have to say!” Aaron took out a cigarette, lit it, and started puffing. “Now are you gonna let me outta this mother fucker, or do I have to walk back to Holman? I don’t give a fuck about early release at this point! I’m not stayin’ here with her!” he pointed over to Mia. Dr. Owen ignored Aaron and briefly left the room. He returned to Mia and Aaron’s silence, handed Aaron his bag, and locked the door behind him. Aaron stood there seething. He stared at the floor as he worked his jawbone as if he was chewing ice. He finally spoke.
“Melissa – Mia, whatever the fuck you call yourself, go to sleep in the bedroom. I’ll stay here on the couch. We have nothin’ further to discuss. Don’t say a goddamn word to me. I don’t wanna hear one peep from you.” Aaron took off his shoes and shirt. He reached in his bag to pull out a blanket. Mia could see he had brought flowers and a card. He quickly closed the bag and laid down on the couch. Aaron took the remote control off of the coffee table and turned on the television. Mia watched as Aaron’s long body spread out under the blanket. She turned her back, wiped her tears, and walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.
Trudy’s words came flooding into her mind. This evening was going to be like a slow torture.
The man that she loved hated her. She knew he hated her before she met him, and now he hated her even more.
* * *
Mia stood in front of the vanity mirror and removed her make-up. She slid on the nightgown she had brought – a red satin, spaghetti-strapped gown with a slit up the side. It fit her like a glove. She bought it for his enjoyment. She brushed her hair, tucking it behind her ears.
Rubbing lotion on her hands and legs, she daydreamed of how she wished the evening would have been. She heard the faint sound of the television coming from the other room. She turned on her television and slid into the bed. The sheets were cool. She pulled the covers up past her breasts and tried to keep her sobbing as low as possible.
“I can’t stand it. I just can’t stand it,” she whispered to herself.
“This isn’t the way this was supposed to end.” Mia got back out of the bed and crept to the bedroom door. She opened it slowly, peeking out into the still darkness. She looked to her left then to her right and screamed. Aaron was standing right by the door, looking down at her with furrowed eyebrows and icy blue eyes.
He quickly put his hand over her mouth and backed her into the bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him.
“What the hell are you screamin’ for?” he asked, looking behind him to make sure a guard did not rush in.
“I didn’t expect to see you there! How long have you been standing by my door?” Mia stumbled back, falling onto the bed.
“Not long,” Aaron answered, crossing his arms. The television illuminated every muscle on his upper body. She saw the delicately drawn, scantily clothed female tattoos up and down his arms, the Greek letters, the Nazi symbols, and an American flag on his stomach. She saw the name “Laura” with two baby footprints underneath it. She was sick to her stomach with fright, lust, and sadness.
“We need to talk, Aaron.” Mia sat up. She noticed him looking at her leg that shown through the slit. His eyes canvassed her body, starting from her toes and moving up to her breasts which were practically fully exposed in the gown.
“I’m very sorry for not telling you I’m Black. I described myself to you accurately, but I know it was deceptive. I don’t really know why I didn’t say anything initially, but after a while, I really started to care about you, and I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. After you started questioning my poem and asked me to stop writing you, I figured it was over, but I couldn’t get you out of my mind. I went to Dr. Owen and explained what I had done.
That brings us here,” Mia said, her chest heaving up and down as fear ran through her veins. Aaron sat down next to her on the bed. She lunged away from him, keeping her eyes on him, afraid to even blink.
“I need you to relax. You’re makin’ me anxious with all your screamin’ and jumpin’ around,” Aaron said as he rubbed the side of his face. He looked at her cleavage, realized what he was doing, and turned back away.
“Are you hungry?” he asked. Mia nodded.
“A little.” Aaron got up and left the bedroom. He returned with a box of chocolates and a large, aluminum pan of baked chicken, pasta, and salad. He laid his blanket out on the bedroom floor and methodically displayed the food, taking out all the containers and plastic ware. Mia watched while he concentrated.
“OK, come sit down here and eat,” he said, opening up the pasta. Mia slowly descended to the floor, sitting cross-legged. A gap between her legs allowed Aaron to see her bright red panties, the soft lace trim brushing softly against her honey thighs.
Aaron stopped everything he was doing as he glared at her underwear. Again, he quickly turned away once he realized he had become fixated. He handed Mia a plate. She ate slowly, staring at him as he made a conscious effort to not look at her.
Canned laughter from a rerun of ‘Three’s Company’ played on the television. Mia finished her meal and stood up.
“I’m going to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Would you like one?” she asked softly.
Aaron shook his head ‘no.’ He stood up beside her. Mia resisted the urge to flinch.
“Wait here.” He turned and walked out of the bedroom to retrieve something from his bag.
He pulled out a bottle of sparkling cider and two glasses.
“I forgot. I don’t drink anymore, so I brought this instead.”
He handed it to her. Mia smiled as she sat back down on the ground and tried to open the bottle. Aaron gently took it from her hands and opened it with ease. He poured two glasses, handing her one. They drank in silence.
Mia looked down into her lap, contemplating, then glanced back up. Aaron was staring at her.
He held his glass to his lips, but was not drinking. She had never seen eyes so blue before.
They seemed to glow in the dark. In his deep voice, Aaron spoke slowly, choosing his words carefully.
“I can never return home again. If I give into how I feel about you, I’ll never be accepted.
I’ll be ostracized. This is all I know.” He kept his gaze steady.
“I could even be killed by my own people. The same people that protect me and depend on me could turn and kill me. If they found out that I, Aaron Pike, leader of the American Nazi Unit of Alabama in Madison County, was in love with a Black woman, it wouldn’t only be the end of me, it’d affect many other people. If you’d told me the truth in the beginnin’, I could have avoided this. I may have even kept talkin’ to you, but I would’ve never shared my secrets with you!” His voice rose suddenly and trembled.
“You’ve put me in danger. I’m goin’ against everything I believe in by sittin’ here with you right now.” His tone was a mixture of fury, agony, and sadness. Mia reached her hand out to touch his face. He jerked away, causing her eyes to well up with angry tears.
“Maybe, Aaron, what you believe in – isn’t the right thing to believe in if you can’t love who you want?” Mia questioned as a single tear rolled down her high cheekbone. Aaron lifted his hand, hesitating momentarily before wiping the tear from her face. His thumb lingered on her skin. He compared the color of his thumb with her dark complexion.
“Are you one of those Mulattos or somethin’?” he asked as he filled his glass back up. Mia laughed.
“No, I’m Black, Aaron. I’m just light-skinned. My great grandmother was White. All of my siblings, except for one, are just as light as I am. Our brother’s much darker. That’s just how we came out,” she smiled.
“You ever been with a White man before, like datin’?” he asked as he picked his fingernails.
“Yes, but not many. Unfortunately my first introduction to sex was with a White man. I was a child. I trusted him. He went to my father’s church. He molested me, my cousin, my sisters, and my friends. He was a pedophile. I don’t hate all White people because of what he did, though. He was an individual – a bad individual, but one nevertheless. He doesn’t represent an entire race.” Mia sipped her drink. Aaron sat silently, deliberating on what she shared with him.
