Cross Climax II

by Tiana Laveen

  After she and I broke up, I was bitter and angry. For a while, I didn’t date. Then once I started to date again, I’d constantly compare how I felt with the other ladies versus her. It was never the same. Once you meet someone that you connect with on all levels, you never wanna settle,” James explained.

  “I see,” Tiana said. “So, where do you two go from here?”

  she asked, folding her hands together. Nyko smiled.

  “Actually, James proposed to me, and we’re getting married.”

  She blushed. Tiana looked at the beautiful engagement ring and sighed.

  “It’s beautiful, Nyko. I’m so happy for both of you!

  Congratulations!” Tiana got up, walked around her desk and hugged them. “Look guys, this is it. You two have made it,”

  Tiana laughed.

  “My grandmother passed away a few years ago, but I know she’ll be lookin’ down on us,” smiled James as he contemplated.

  She really liked Nyko and knew that we’d end up gettin’

  married. My sons love her, and I’m lookin’ forward to her bein’

  my wife.” James kissed Nyko on the cheek.

  “I might be jumping the gun, but are you two planning on having any children?” Tiana asked as she took her seat behind her desk again. Nyko looked at James. They both burst out laughing. For a moment, Tiana could imagine how they looked in 1994. She envisioned James with his black denim, youthful face, fade haircut, and bright eyes. She could see Nyko in her dated, layered hairdo and biker shorts. In that instant, it was as if they had a new lease on life.

  “Why are you two laughing?” Tiana finally asked.

  “It’s just funny because we were talking about this on the plane. We’d like to have children together,” Nyko said, smiling from ear to ear. “I want one, but James is trying to get me to have two,” she laughed.

  “I’d like to have two boys and two girls,” he said, “but all I know for sure is I’d love to have a baby with her, and that’s what we’ll try to do after we get married,” James smiled. “I’d do anything in the world to make her happy.” James and Nyko kissed as Tiana witnessed their love for one another.

  “I wish you two the best and will be checking up on you in the future,” Tiana said as she rose from her desk again to give them a hug. “Go explore the facility. Have fun, and I’ll see you at the round table in a few hours,” Mrs. Laveen said as she gave James and Nyko one final hug before they departed.

  * * *

  “Monica and Antonio, please report to Conference Room C,”

  the PA speaker blared. Mrs. Laveen jotted down a few notes from her session with Nyko and James, waiting patiently before she heard a knock at her office door.

  “Please come in,” Tiana requested. The door opened.

  Antonio stood at the entrance with a faded smile. He took a seat while Monica sat next to him, avoiding eye contact.

  “Hello, Monica and Antonio! It’s so wonderful to speak to you again,” Tiana smiled as she turned to a fresh page in her notebook. “I first want to thank you for participating in my research a couple of years ago regarding Black female interracial relationships. I never thought I’d hear from such a diverse group of people. Your story wasn’t only intriguing, but hardly run-of-the-mill. It’s not every day a person runs into an ex-porn star. Please, tell me what’s been going on with you two over the past couple of years,” Tiana asked, picking up her ink pen. Monica looked off into the distance for a few moments before Antonio spoke up.

  “Monica and I have separated.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Can you tell me what happened?”

  Tiana asked.

  “Everything was fine for a while. Monica gave birth to our beautiful son, Zion, not long after you last spoke to us. Then all hell broke loose. Through some sort of technicality, Monica’s ex-boyfriend was released from prison.” Antonio’s tone was filled with venom, as if he were teeter-tottering on the edge of rage.

  “You’re referring to Brian, correct?” Tiana asked.

  “Yes,” Monica and Antonio said in unison. Monica looked at Antonio then quickly turned away.

  “Monica disrupted our home life three months ago by saying she didn’t know what she wanted. She said she still loved him and…” Antonio rubbed his temples. “He found her and came after her – came after my wife. He tore my family upside-down.”

  Antonio’s voice escalated.

  “He got in my face saying he’s Simone’s real father and thanked me for babysitting.” Antonio continued, “Simone was very upset and didn’t want to go with him, but Monica let him drag her away. She tried to take Zion, too,” Antonio added, looking with disgust at Monica.

  “I told you I needed time to think, Antonio. It was a mistake.

  I love you!” Monica screamed. “I knew when we got here this would happen. I don’t want to keep fighting with you.” Monica looked at him, her eyes pleading.

  “Tiana, Monica and I haven’t really had a civil conversation since this all occurred. We’re trying to work out our marriage.

  I’m having problems believing anything she says,” Antonio stated.

  “Where’s Zion residing?” Tiana asked quietly.

  “He stays with me. Monica comes over every day with Simone. He spends the night twice a week with them.”

  Antonio’s eyes watered as he fidgeted. “I just want my family back,” he spoke faintly as a tear rolled down his face.

  “He was so good to me during the pregnancy,” Monica said.

  “Antonio’s the best father in the world. He’d rub my stomach and feet, take care of Simone, and show her places she’d never been. I knew he loved us. I don’t really know what happened. I don’t know if I was at a weak point or what, but before I knew it, Brian was at our front door demanding to have us back. I tried to explain to Antonio that, though I was confused, I wasn’t in love with Brian anymore. I love him. He’s the father of my daughter.

  He was good to me,” Monica said as she covered her face with her hands.

  “I was great to you too,” Antonio barked. “I gave up the lifestyle I had for eight plus years to take care of you and Simone, to be the man you needed me to be. I would’ve never, and I mean never, left with an ex-girlfriend of mine who showed up at our doorstep! You didn’t even act like you had to think about it. You were just gone! I’m your husband goddamn it!”

  Antonio screamed. “You had everything you needed! I got you the house you wanted. I love Simone like she’s my own flesh and blood. I took care of you. I supported you. You worked because you wanted to, not because you had to. You’re ungrateful!” Antonio ranted. “I cooked and cleaned for you and went to work everyday taking care of sick children! I love being a doctor, don’t get me wrong, but at times it can be upsetting and draining. I see children that are HIV-positive, come from bad homes, and are abused. My home was my solace. I could come home to my beautiful wife, daughter, and son, and all was right with the world.

  Then literally, one day it was all gone! I contemplated suicide after it happened, but I looked at Zion and couldn’t go through with it. You broke my heart into a million pieces. I’ve never felt such excruciating pain,” Antonio confessed as his angry expression melted into sorrow right before everyone’s eyes.

  Monica looked at Antonio in disbelief. She reached out to touch him, but he turned away.

  “Monica, can I tell you what I think?” Tiana asked as she studied Antonio.

  “Yes,” Monica said, lowering her head.

  “Monica, I think you looked for any excuse you could get your hands on to escape. A part of you doesn’t believe that you deserve the life you had with Antonio. You think he’s too good for you. That’s why you ran,” Tiana said. She looked over at Antonio who suddenly looked up at her, his eyes coated in layers of hurt and resentment.

  “Antonio, I can see that Monica loves you a great deal. I feel that she wants you back and realized the mistake she made as soon as she walked out the door. Am I right,
Monica?” Tiana asked as she handed Antonio a Kleenex. Monica nodded.

  “Antonio, your family’s no longer broken.” Tiana stood up, came around her desk, got on the floor and took his hands. “This woman has had a life that you don’t completely understand because you aren’t her and could never have the same experiences. I’m not making excuses for her. Please understand me. She was wrong! She’s shown Simone instability with these recent actions and has reverted to her old ways of being concerned about what other people think. It’s second nature to her. I know she regrets it. I can see it in her eyes just as I see the hurt in yours. Monica, I need you to tell Antonio how you feel and what you want.” Tiana stood up and sat in her seat.

  “Antonio.” Monica took his hand. This time he didn’t pull away. “I love you so much. What Tiana said is true. What I did was impulsive. You made a comment while we were arguing a few months ago. You told me that if we ever got back together, you’d constantly be worried about who would show up next that I’d leave you for. No one, Baby. I did it because I was scared. I had a new baby, a new husband, and a new job. Everything was happening so fast. I got scared! It seemed too good to be true.

  You seemed too good to be true. Brian was a familiar person from the past. I knew what to expect with him. Besides Brian, all the men in my past life cheated on me. I felt for a quick second I needed to go back to him because I felt

  – I felt…”

  “…guilt,” Tiana helped. “You felt guilt because he’d been a good boyfriend to you, a good father to Simone, and you felt like he was in prison because he was trying to provide for you and your daughter,” Tiana said as she held her ink pen tightly.

  “Yes. He made it seem like I owed him. He had a complete change of heart after he found out he was being released.

  Everything he told me about moving on with my life went to the wayside. I never wanted Brian back, Antonio. I want you. I want to come home!” Monica sobbed. Antonio squeezed her hand, tears falling quietly down his face.

  “I want to trust you. I want to trust you so badly, Monica. I couldn’t bare it if you did that to me again. I never thought you’d do something like that to me, to our family. Zion’s too young to understand what’s going on, but you’ve hurt Simone.

  She always cries when you tell her it’s time to leave our house.

  It kills me. She’s my daughter now, too. You don’t owe Brian anything. You’re my wife, not his!” Antonio’s emotions were a mix of anger and sadness.

  “Antonio, what I find interesting is that you were one of the few men that responded to my ad about interracial relationships.

  Most of the others were women. What made you contact me a couple years ago?” Tiana asked, changing gears.

  “I knew that one of the biggest problems that Monica had with me initially was that I’m White. I wanted to show that a relationship like ours can survive and thrive, even when one person’s initially resistant. Many White men who are interested in dating Black women don’t say anything because we fear rejection. I was in an industry where that was never an issue, but that line of work is fantasy. However, it afforded me the confidence to date whomever I wished. I had no hang-ups about dating whichever woman I desired and didn’t care what anyone else thought. I fell in love with Monica. It wasn’t planned, it just happened. I never made love at work before; it was always just sex. When that happened, I knew she was special. She made it clear that she was interested in me early on, as you recall. The feeling was mutual, but I wouldn’t have gone there unless she’d made the first move. I didn’t want to mix business and pleasure, but that’s what happened. What’s super-fucked up is that Sheila somehow found out we’ve separated. She asked me to come back to work,” Antonio laughed.

  “What? That’s awfully presumptuous. What did you say?”

  Tiana asked.

  “She knew over the years that anytime I was in a movie, she’d reap millions. She asked me to come back and do one more movie, but I couldn’t. I saw myself as married to Monica, despite what’s happening and, though I hated Monica for some time after she left, I didn’t want to jeopardize the possibility of our working it out,” Antonio explained.

  “How is Simone doing during all this?” Tiana asked as she removed the cap from her water bottle.

  “She misses her father,” Monica said, as she looked over at Antonio. “She wants to come back home, too.”

  “Then bring her home,” Antonio said under his breath. “I want my daughter back, too.”

  “Why haven’t you two been able to talk like this before?”

  asked Tiana.

  “Because it always turns into an argument, Tiana. Antonio starts out calm, but then he hits the roof. He becomes so upset that we aren’t even able to get through the conversation. He tries to punish me over and over again.”

  “Monica, he’s never been hurt like this before. When you did what you did, you affected not only Antonio and yourself, you affected Zion and Simone, as well as your mother and Antonio’s mother. Everyone that loved you and were happy you two were together were adversely affected by the choice you made. I want you two to spend this weekend at the couples’ retreat, speaking with a counselor and spending quality time together. What are your hotel accommodations?” Tiana asked with a raised eyebrow.

  “What do you mean?” Monica asked.

  “She means, are we in separate hotel rooms or not,” Antonio said, sucking his teeth.

  “Well, are you?” Tiana asked.

  “Yes,” Monica answered. “We haven’t slept in the same bed for at least three months and…”

  “…we haven’t made love during that time, either,” Antonio added angrily. “She tried, but all I could think of was Brian’s hands all over her. I couldn’t do it.”

  “OK. Here’s what I’d like to do. I want the two of you to stay in the honeymoon suite. It’s very lavish and romantic. It has one King-sized bed. There’s a full kitchen and living room, as well as a whirlpool in the shape of a champagne glass. Breakfast in bed is delivered at 7:00.

  May I put you two there? I think with a little therapy and romance you two could start the healing process. It really breaks my heart, what’s going on between the two of you. I can see you’re still very much in love with one another.” Tiana waited while Monica and Antonio looked at each other. She watched as Antonio tried to read her thoughts while Monica pleaded with her eyes to please accept her. Antonio turned away from Monica and looked at Tiana.

  “OK, I think that’s probably a step in the right direction. I do love my wife very much. I just don’t trust her and want to get past this,” he said as he rubbed his hands together.

  “OK, great. I’ll have it arranged. I want you to do whatever you wish in the next few hours before the group meeting. If you wish to speak to the therapist, he’s on the second floor in room 243,” Tiana said as she rose up to shake their hands. Monica and Antonio left the room, leaving an air of uneasiness behind them.

  * * *

  “Angel and Arashi, please report to Conference Room C,”

  the announcement came over the PA speaker. Tiana could hear Arashi’s voice outside the door.

  “Why do you keep doing that?” he asked in a teasing tone.

  He knocked on the door.

  “Come in!” Tiana said happily, taking another sip of her water. Arashi opened the door and Angel wobbled past him, laughing and rolling her eyes.

  “Well, well, well!” Tiana said clapping her hands. “I see you two are expecting a new addition!” They all laughed.

  “Yes, I’m six months and a week along,” Angel said as Arashi helped her into her chair.

  Arashi sat down and leaned over confidently in his chair.

  “It feels funny being on the other side of the desk,” he said with a pleasant smile. Tiana laughed.

  “I’m sure it does.” She turned to fresh page in her notebook.

  “OK, lay it on me. Tell me what’s been going on the past two years,” Tiana grinned.

>   “Well, Arashi and I got married and had a beautiful honeymoon. We went to Thailand. My career really took off, and I was featured in Essence Magazine,” Angel smiled proudly.

  “She made me go to every store within a mile radius and buy all the Essence magazines so she could pass them out,” Arashi laughed.

  “You two seem very happy! I’m so glad,” Tiana smiled.

  “Not everything has been happy-go-lucky,” Arashi corrected.

  This wasn’t a planned pregnancy, and Angel didn’t take it well at first.” His tone turned serious.

  “Oh, really?” Tiana said surprised. “Why’s that, Angel?”

  “I’m at the high point of my career. It was a little devastating when I realized I was pregnant, Tiana. I was scheduled for shows across Europe, I had interviews lined up, and I was starting a new dance school. It really hurt him when he realized I was upset about the pregnancy. I think he took it personally,”

  Angel explained.

  “I did. I took it not that she didn’t want to be pregnant, but that she didn’t want to be pregnant with my child. Initially, I wasn’t sure why I had come to that conclusion, but in retrospect, I know it’s because I felt Angel was superior to me,” Arashi clarified.

  “Really? How so?” Tiana asked.

  “I never felt that someone like her would be interested in me.

  I don’t have low self-esteem, it’s that when it comes to Black women, who I’ve been attracted to since I was a teen, it just never went anywhere. I mean, let’s be realistic here. There aren’t many Asian men married to Black women. Part of the reason’s the perceived cultural differences, but the other reason’s we believe that she won’t want to date us, so why even go there.”