The Year of Falling in Love

by Jessica Sorensen

I just start to relax when the side door to my house swings open and Hannah walks out. At first, she's too busy texting to notice me sitting on the Meyer's porch. But when she drops her phone into her purse and reaches to open her car door, her eyes drift next-door and zero in right on me. A series of emotions flash across her face--confusion, shock, anger--and then her lips curl.

  She strolls up to the fence, sneering. "You know stalking's illegal, right?"

  I fold my arms around myself, starting to shrink away. But then I force myself to lift up my chin. No. No more cowering. "Is that the best you can come up with?"

  Shock flickers in her eyes. "Have you looked in a mirror today? You look like shit. Then again, you always look like shit."

  Anger boils inside me like lava. Usually, I bite my tongue and try to rise above or whatever, but after everything that went down yesterday, my willpower snaps. I'm furious. At her. At Lynn. At my dad for lying to me, for never sticking up for me, for letting me live with people who belittled my self-worth every day for years.

  "What's your problem?" I hop off the railing and step off the deck, striding toward the fence. "I've never done anything to you yet, you've always hated me."

  She barks a disdainful laugh. "Your mother almost ruined my parents' marriage. I have every right to hate you."

  My muscles ravel into knots. How long has she known about my mom? How much does she know? "They're not just your parents. Your dad's still my dad, Hannah."

  "If he had his way, he wouldn't be." She flips her blonde hair off her shoulder. "All you do is remind him of the biggest mistake of his life. No wonder he can't even stand to look at you." Her brows rise as she assesses me, her face pinching in repulsion. "But most people can't. You're worthless. I know it. My mom knows it. My dad knows it."

  All the rage I've bottled up for nearly eighteen years explodes. Before I even realize what I'm doing, I lift my leg to climb over the fence.

  Hannah's eyes widen in surprise and she trips back, causing one of her heels to get stuck in the grass. I'm not even one hundred percent sure what I'm going to do to her: slap her, push her down, mess up her hair, force her to watch me break her manicured nails off. But before I can get over the fence, arms wrap around my waist and gently pull me back.

  "As much as I think you deserve to do whatever you're about to do," Kai whispers in my ear. "She's not worth the trouble you'll get in for kicking her ass."

  Hannah scoffs. "Like she could kick my ass."

  Keeping one arm looped around my waist, Kai moves beside me and smirks at Hannah. "Then why do you look like you're about to piss your pants?"

  Hannah glares at Kai. "You're such an asshole, Kai. Why are you even here? No one asked you to come over here and be a jerk."

  "Why are you here?" He quips. "No one asked you to come over and bitch at Isa in that shrill voice of yours." When her eyes shoot daggers at Kai, he grins in satisfaction. "So, here's a thought: why don't you walk away before I tell Isa about what you did two summers ago and give her all the ammo she needs to make your life a living hell."

  I have no idea what he's referring to but I'm so thankful that he's standing up for me that I want to turn around and hug him.

  Hannah's expression darkens, her voice lowering an octave. "Are you threatening me?"

  "Not so much threatening as warning you that I'll tell everyone your dirty little secret." He flashes his pearly whites at her. "But if you want to look at it like that, then go right ahead."

  Steam practically shoots out of Hannah's ears. "No one ever threatens me. You're so going to pay for this." She spins around to leave, but then spots Kyler coming out of the garage with a ladder. She goes from the Ice Queen to cotton candy sweet, plastering on a sugary sweet smile. "Hey, Kyler. I didn't know you were home this weekend. I thought you said you were going on a trip with your friends or something."

  Kai's hand falls from my waist, and he puts some distance between us.

  Kyler sets the ladder down beside the fence and dusts off his hands, his gaze skimming the three of us. "I... um... I was supposed to but my friends... bailed out at the last second."

  I think he might be lying to her, and even though it might make me a little twisted, I find an odd sense of happiness in that fact.

  "Oh." For a brief second, rage blazes in her eyes, but the look fades and an exaggerated smile returns. "Good, then I guess you can take me out today after all."

  Kyler massages the back of his neck tensely. "Actually, I already made plans with someone else."

  Her smile goes poof. "With who?" she snaps. "It better not be that slut, Carissa."

  "It's not her..." Kyler shifts his weight uneasily.

  I'm not sure whether to take his hesitancy personally. Is he ashamed he's going out with me? Or is he sparing me the hell that's going to follow when Hannah finds out?

  Kyler gives me a sidelong glance, and his eyes carry a silent question: what should I tell her? I'm not sure. While I don't want to keep our date... hanging out... going to breakfast... whatever we're doing today, a secret. I also don't want to give Hannah more of a reason to torment me.

  I never get to decide my answer, though, because Hannah notices Kyler looking in my direction, and Pandora's box flies open.

  "Are you effing kidding me!" she shouts, her voice so loud the neighbor across the street looks up from watering his lawn. "Her! That... that loser!"

  "What the heck is your problem?" Kyler says at the same time Kai warns, "Guess just threatening you wasn't enough." Me, I think about jumping over that fence again, going all ninja on her, and kicking her ass. Kai must sense this too, because his fingers fold around my arm and he holds onto me.

  Hannah shakes her head, fuming mad. "Don't pretend like you two haven't thought the same thing. Up until she came back this summer, you both used to make fun of her all the time."

  It grows so quiet I can hear Mr. Normbert's sprinklers turning on just down the street. I feel so small, like these tiny fairy statues my Grandma Stephy used to collect back when my grandpa was still alive. She kept them in front of her house near the tulip bed. I thought they were so cute and used to sit out there and pretend they were my magical friends who granted wishes. One day Hannah caught me, called me a freak, and stomped all over them until they were nothing more than broken glass.

  "Actually, I never did." Kai inches toward the fence, getting close to Hannah. "You've always known what I thought of Isa, at least since two summers ago."

  Hannah gives Kai the dirtiest look then, shooting one last glare in my direction, she turns her back on us, muttering something under her breath as she storms toward her car. She yanks the door open, revs the engine, and then peels out of the driveway, leaving tire marks on the concrete.

  I start to let out a relieved breath when the door to my house opens.

  My dad steps out and looks right at me. "Isabella Anders, get your ass over here right now. You and I need to talk. And that's not a request. Either get over here now or I'll call the cops."

  Chapter 4

  Isabella

  I want to tell him to leave me alone, that we have nothing to talk about, but the threat of calling the cops scares the words right out of me.

  "Fine. I'm headed over," I holler to my dad then turn to Kyler, feeling awkward. Unlike Kai, Kyler didn't deny that he called me a loser behind my back with Hannah and her friends. I'm not sure what to do with that. "I think I have to take a rain check on breakfast."

  "I can wait for you," Kyler offers. "I don't have anything to do today anyway."

  "Are you sure?" I ask. "It might take a while."

  He nods, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his dark denim jeans. "I need to talk to you about some stuff, anyway."

  "Okay...." Talk to me about what exactly? "I'll come over here when I'm done talking to my dad." I wave at him then hike toward the end of the driveway.

  Kai matches my steps, strolling along beside me. "Maybe you shouldn't go over there."

  "I think I have to." I
halt at the edge of the fence. "If for nothing else than to get my stuff before they decide to throw it away."

  The wind blows strands of his hair up, and he runs his hand over his head to flatten them back down as he stares off across the street. "I don't like this."

  "Kai, I'll be fine. I'm sure he just wants to tell me I have to move out."

  Tension is set in his jawline as his gaze shifts to me. "I'm worried about you... that... that they're going to try to break you apart. I mean, why would he threaten to call the cops on you?"

  "I'm sure that was just to get me to come over without a fight," I tell him, even though I don't quite believe the words myself. "It's not like I've done anything wrong. I'll be fine." I flex my muscles. "I've got skin made of steel baby," I attempt to joke but miss the mark, my voice falling flat like a deflated balloon. "I'll call you after I'm done talking to him, okay? I think we need to talk about some stuff anyway." Like why this T guy beat you up.

  "Fine," he grumbles then shakes his head multiple times, mumbling something about having a bad feeling.

  I start to leave but then pause as an overwhelming need surfaces. "Kai, thanks for everything you did back there with Hannah. For standing up for me. No one's ever done that... It means a lot."

  "I was just doing what friends should do for each other." He doesn't use a funny tone this time when he says friends. He sounds dead serious and so is the intensity in his eyes.

  I walk away with a hundred butterflies going wild inside my stomach and a tornado of confusion whipping through my mind. I feel like I'm tumbling into the unknown, down, down, down the rabbit hole into madness where nothing makes sense anymore. I have no idea who I am, who I want to be, what I want.

  The feeling only amplifies when I enter my house, and my dad isn't in the kitchen. Instead, Lynn is sitting at the table with a stack of papers in front of her and an arrogant grin on her face.

  "Isa, have a seat," she says, gesturing at the chair next to her.

  I remain near the back door. "Where's my dad? He said he needed to talk to me, not you."

  "Your dad's upstairs and he won't be part of this conversation because he doesn't want to have to deal with you. I've been kind enough to volunteer for the position, though." Her calm voice sends a chill down my spine. "So. Sit. Down."

  I momentarily dither before taking a seat in the chair farthest away from her. I tuck my hands underneath the table so she can't see me fidgeting and wait for her to say something.

  She drags the silence out for as long as possible, as if she knows it's driving me crazy. "Yesterday, after you put your hands on me, your father and I sat down to discuss how violent you've gotten."

  "How violent I've gotten?" I shake my head. "I pushed you once, Lynn, and that's mild to the abuse you and Hannah have done to me over the years."

  Her hard gaze narrows on me. "No one in this house has ever laid a hand on you."

  "I'm talking about verbal abuse, Lynn. Words can sometimes be just as harmful as actions," I repeat what Kai said to me last night.

  Her fingers curl inward. For a horrifying moment, I think she's going to hit me. But she presses her knuckles against the edge of the stack of papers and shoves the paper across the table to me.

  "After your father and I discussed your violent behavior," she continues on with her speech, "we decided the best thing for everyone is if you go to a boarding school that specializes with troubled teens."

  My heart slams against my chest as I read the top of one of the papers. "You're sending me to Montana!" I shove back from the table. "No way. I'm not going."

  She sits there with her perfect posture and a sickeningly pleased look on her face. "You're still a minor, and as your guardian, you have no choice but to do what I say."

  "You're not my only guardian," I say then bolt from the kitchen. "Dad!" My feet stomp against the steps as I run upstairs. "Dad, you can't let her send me away." I hurry to his bedroom door and pound my fist against it. "Dad, please. Don't let her do this."

  "I'm not letting her do anything," he responds through the closed door. "I agree with Lynn. You need to go, Isa. It's for the best."

  "The best for who?" I grab the doorknob and jerk on the door, but it's locked.

  I pound on the door a few times before giving up and running to my room. I try to call my Grandma Stephy, but she doesn't answer. I leave her a message then text Indigo, even though there's only like a one percent chance she'll read the text while she's at work. When she doesn't respond, I grab a few duffel bags from my closet and start throwing what I can inside: clothes, shoes, my sketchbook, art supplies, my computer. After I've stuffed the bags full, I dig my stash of cash out from the top dresser drawer and stuff it into my back pocket. Then I sling the bags over my shoulders and rush out of my room.

  When I make it to the bottom of the stairway, Lynn is waiting for me, blocking my path to the backdoor.

  "You're not going anywhere." She crosses her arms, her overly plucked brows arching. "You're staying here until tomorrow morning and then your father and I are driving you up to Montana. And if you so much as show any signs of getting violent, we won't hesitate to call the police."

  I have an unsettling feeling she's hoping I'll try to push her again, give her a reason to call the police.

  "I'm not staying here," I say in the calmest voice I can muster. "And I'm not going to the school in Montana. I'll be eighteen in a couple of months. I can live with Grandma Stephy until then."

  "Until you're eighteen, your father and I tell you what to do, not the other way around. You won't be living with your Grandma Stephy. You'll be living in Montana, far, far away where you can't hurt anyone." Her lips curl into a smile. "And where you can't turn into your dirty whore of a mother."

  I almost throw down right there, but at the last second, manage to see through the blindingly hot anger. She wants me to get mad. She wants me to hurt her. She wants me to be exactly who she's telling me I am.

  "Is that why you've treated me so crappy," I snap, shocking her and myself. "Because my dad cheated on you with my mom."

  Her lips curl into a malicious grin as her hand darts forward. She snags hold of my arm and her fingers dig into my flesh. "You ungrateful little brat. If you only knew what your mother did... How much she really ruined this family. How sick and twisted she really is... I could tell you too. Watch you break. But I'm not going to just yet. It's so much more fun watching you suffer. Watching your own father destroy your life. And he does it so easily because he secretly despises you and everything you represent."

  My lungs tighten, sucking the oxygen out of my lungs. I can barely breathe. I see spots. If I don't get air into my lungs, I'll pass out.

  Don't pass out. Don't pass out. If you pass out, God knows where you'll wake up. Just get out of here. Now.

  Sucking in a deep breath, I wrench my arm away from her. Then I grip the banister and hoist myself over it like a freaking badass mofo hurdler. I'm on the bottom step, so it's not a far fall or anything, but my ninja move throws her off. She gapes at me in shock as I run toward the front door. It takes a second or two before I hear the sound of her footsteps chasing after me. I don't slow down, bursting out the front door. Then I sprint down the sidewalk straight for the Meyers house, crossing my fingers that Kai will be there to give me a ride to my Grandma Stephy's house where I know I'll be safe for now.

  Dropping my bags on the back deck of the Meyers', I knock on the door while throwing a quick glance back at my house. Thank my lucky charms Lynn hasn't come out yet. Hopefully she'll give up and just let me leave. Although, I highly doubt it. Whatever happened between my real mom, my dad, and her, has caused her to set out on a mission to destroy me. I just wish I knew if Lynn's hatred stems solely from the affair of if there's more to it than that.

  Every bone in my body excruciatingly aches as I replay her words over and over again. I've always known I wasn't my dad's favorite but to hear her say it aloud... So venomously... It stings, like poison in my veins. />
  I look down at my wrist where she grabbed me. Red marks dot my skin. How can she say that my violence is a problem after she did this? Knowing Lynn, though, she'll probably lie and tell my dad it was self-defense. When I really think about it, over the course of my life, she's done that a lot. Twisted stories to make me look like the bad one. And my dad believes them so easily.

  By the time the Meyers' door opens, I'm tumbling into a hole of self-pity and loathing. But I claw my way out of it when I see Kyler in the doorway taking in the sight of me, out of breath, my eyes wild, and worry creases his forehead.

  "Are you okay?" he asks.

  I fight back my tears. "Um... Is Kai here?" I feel bad when he looks hurt, but I'd rather talk to Kai right now since he knows what's going on.

  "He left just." He assesses me with concern. "What did you need him to do? Whatever it is, I can help you. Just trust me, okay?"

  I stuff my hands into the pockets of my jacket. "Um, can you drive me to my grandma's? I really need to talk to her." It's the best I can give him for now.

  He doesn't miss a beat. "Sure. Give me two seconds."

  He rushes back into the house, leaving the door open. He returns two seconds later, wearing a blue hoodie and carrying a set of keys. Without saying anything, he picks up my bags and jogs down the back steps toward the garage. I follow him, repeatedly glancing over at my house. It's quiet. Too quiet. I worry Lynn might be up to something, like calling me in as a runaway. I consider going home but just the thought of doing so makes my stomach churn.

  After Kyler and I get into his car, he backs onto the road and pulls out onto the main road.

  "Do you remember where she lives?" I ask, clipping in my seatbelt.

  He nods, cranking up the heat. "At the Sunnyvale Bay Community, right?"

  Nodding, I recline back in the seat. "Yeah. And thanks for doing this."

  He opens his mouth to say something, but my phone rings, cutting him off. I fumble to get it out my pocket. Please let it be Grandma Stephy. Please. Please. Please.

  "Thank God," I say aloud when I see her name flash across the screen. I press talk and put the phone to my ear.

  "What the hell did they do to you?" she asks before I can even say hello.

  I briefly contemplate telling her I'll talk to her when I get to her house, when I'm not around Kyler, but then she announces she's out of town on a trip with Harry.