Stepbrother Roommate

by Stephanie Brother

  “That was unbelievable,” he said, pulling her onto his chest.

  “Artistic enough?” she asked as she tried to catch her breath. “I feel like I’ve never been fucked before.”

  “I fucked your virginity back?” he laughed. “I’m definitely not going to the Hamptons this weekend.” He playfully touched the tip of her nose. “You are way more fun.”

  She dug her face into his chest and wrapped her arm across him. They snuggled together until exhaustion took over and sleep stole them away.

  Three

  Their slumber was so deep, they didn’t hear the keys in the lock or the footsteps and voices making their way towards the love nest. Amelia thought she was dreaming when she first heard the male voice speaking.

  “I guess they didn’t hear us.”

  She opened her eyes and screamed when she saw her mother and a man standing at the foot of the bed. “Mom!”

  Sandy was startled and sat up straight in bed. “Pop!”

  Her mother’s eyes were wide with excitement as she pointed a shaking finger at the couple. “What the hell are you two doing?”

  “Looks like we don’t need that extra mattress after all,” joked Sandy’s father.

  “You were just supposed to move into the room,” her mother continued, flailing her arms in frustration.

  “What’s that on your hand?” Amelia asked. “Is that a wedding ring?”

  Her mother seemed to calm down at the recognition. “Engagement ring,” she clarified. “Surprise. We came back a few days early to share the good news.”

  “Congratulations,” Amelia and Sandy said in groggy unison.

  “Congratulations to you as well,” his father added. “Looks like you just boned your future step-sibling.” He slapped his hands on his knees and laughed uncontrollably.

  “Why is this so funny?” asked her mother.

  “I think I’m mostly laughing at their shocked expressions. You have to admit, the situation is a bit entertaining.”

  “Umm, do you guys mind if we discuss this after we put our clothes on?” Sandy suggested.

  The parents looked at each other and quickly rushed out of the room.

  “This is a cluster fuck,” Amelia said. “I guess we should have realized this was a possibility.”

  “Honestly, I never thought my dad would get married again. You Bradley women have put a spell on us.”

  “Just remember, friends … no matter what.”

  “That’s the problem,” he said. “I want to be more than friends.”

  “First-date fucking. Just keep telling yourself that. We’ll come to our senses eventually.”

  He turned and faced her. “Really? You don’t want to repeat last night? I find that hard to believe.”

  “I’m in awe of last night. I…I just hate seeing my mom so angry. She was dating your dad first and...”

  “So she has dibs on the Hughes men? Are you kidding me?”

  “Can I just gather my senses?”

  The parents started getting louder from the living room. “Are you coming out or do we need to go back in there?” asked her mother.

  “We’re coming!” Amelia called back as she tried to find her clothes. “You ripped my underwear,” she said under her breath.

  “You weren’t exactly complaining when I did it.”

  Her mother was pacing while Mr. Hughes was enjoying a morning cocktail he’d poured for himself. “I think we have a solution,” he said. “Bunny Bingleman.”

  “What’s a Bunny Bingleman?” Amelia asked. She leaned closer to Sandy and whispered, “Is that like a sorority-rodent-vibratus?”

  He shook his head. “She’s the best publicist in town. She knows how to spin just about anything.”

  “Exactly,” added Mr. Hughes. “The wedding is two months away. If you think you’d like to expand your relationship into something more serious, she will figure out a way to make it a non-issue.”

  “Two months?” Amelia stared at her mother in disbelief. “That’s so soon.”

  “At our age, two months is the equivalent of two years,” her mother quipped.

  “Hell, I just wanted to elope in Paris. Your mother insisted that you had to walk her down the aisle and … here we are.” He laughed and took another swig of his cocktail. I think I like this guy.

  “My mind is swirling here. Explain again why we need a Bunny. This … this just happened. It doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Thanks a lot,” Sandy quipped. “In case you want to do more than use me for sex … in the future, Bunny would do a little damage control. Their wedding will be splashed all over the papers, so some inquiring minds may start digging into their families as well. The goal is to keep the attention brief.”

  “I used you for sex?” She soon started laughing and hiccupping at the same time. “Why would people care about us?”

  Sandy’s father cleared his throat and waved. “Hello, most eligible and handsome bachelor just taken off the market.”

  “Most humble bachelor as well,” Sandy added with a smirk. “What do you need us to do?”

  “The wedding planner will take care of everything. Just be you. I have to tell you, Son. You can’t go wrong with these Bradley women. They are stellar.”

  “I know that, Pop.” He leaned over and grabbed Amelia’s hand. “Friends, no matter what … but hopefully, even more.”

  She squeezed his hand in return. Her heart was racing with a mixture of excitement and terror. What if it didn’t work out for her or her mother? Would they be labeled as gold diggers? Would she have to leave this beautiful apartment? Was she was willing to take the risk?

  That night, Sandy tried to get frisky again in bed. Amelia shocked herself by pushing his hands away.

  “I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s too fast. Our parents are over the moon and they look deliriously happy, but I sort of feel like we’re getting swooped up in their tornado before we even know each other. Plus, I want my mom to have her own fairy tale.”

  “You can’t share a happy ending?”

  “Maybe we should take a step back to just roommates and … date other people and explore.”

  He sat up and shook his head. “I’ve dated lots of other women. None of them put me at ease like you have. I think you were put in my path for a reason.”

  She ran her fingers through his hair. “I just want to think about everything. Please understand.”

  “Go on some dates. You’ll miss me.”

  “Umm … I don’t really need your permission.”

  “I know, I know. I’m trying to be a little bossy so I don’t feel like shit over this.”

  “I’m just asking for a little time.” She clasped her fingers through his. “Friends, no matter what.”

  “I’m beginning to wish I’d never said that,” he sighed.

  They fell asleep holding hands. The extra mattress was delivered a few days later, making it easier to spend their days as boring roommates. Friendly activities like rollerblading in Central Park or browsing the flea market were usually followed by Sandy trying to kiss her. Amelia held her ground. Her month was stressful enough attending tastings and wedding planning meetings with her mother, but she managed to make time for a few dates. Most were a bust, but a stockbroker named Ted had become a three-peat. They always met away from the building to avoid any awkwardness with Sandy, although he always told her to “have fun” in a slightly forlorn tone.

  She liked Ted enough, but there was a little ball in her stomach telling her to cut him loose. Why waste time just because he distracts you from the guy you really want? He was successful and attractive, but slightly controlling. Some women may like having their date order for them or suggest what outfit to wear, but Amelia wasn’t one of them. On their fourth date, she thought it was time to introduce him to Golden Dragon and see how he fared on her territory. The lunch crowd was already waning when they arrived. As soon as Lilly saw them, t
he smile left her face. She looked confused and soon disappeared through the swinging kitchen doors. No wave or silly face from Amelia could coax her out of hiding.

  “Chicken with vegetables and garlic sauce okay with you?” she asked when they were seated.

  “No, let’s have the spicy sea bass with brown rice,” he said without looking up from the menu.

  She raised her eyebrows and stared at him. “I’m not a big seafood eater.”

  “Yep. The spicy sea bass sounds good.” He turned to look around the restaurant. “Where is the waitress?” He turned and made eye contact with Lilly’s mother. Without hesitation, he raised his hand and snapped his fingers.

  “Don’t do that!” Amelia barked.

  “Excuse me?”

  “Don’t fucking snap your fingers at my friends. They aren’t your servants.” The sound of his rude fingers had echoed in her head like a grenade, bringing her to her senses.

  “Wow. Nice mouth on you. Very classy.”

  She rest her arms on the table and smiled at him. “Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Go fuck yourself.”

  With that, he pushed back from the table and disappeared onto the crowded sidewalk. Lilly came running out as soon as his feet were past the threshold. She leaned against the table, looking at her with concern.

  “Where’s your boyfriend?”

  “He wasn’t my boyfriend. That was just a bad date.”

  “Not him. The one who made you smile a lot.”

  Amelia’s heart fluttered. You wise little child. “He does make me smile a lot.”

  “And laugh.” She threw her little head back and did her best imitation. “Ah-ha-ha-ha.”

  Amelia laughed with her and grabbed Lilly for a hug. “Thank you, little Jedi. Thank you.”

  She left without ordering and promised to return with Sandy. He was planning on rowing around the Lake in Central Park, which seems like a continent away when you’re trying to find a cab. She jumped up and down and waved frantically at all the yellow tops zipping by. The tires screeched as one empty cab finally found her.

  “Park Avenue and 74th, please. The Loeb Boathouse,” she said, sliding across the seat.

  “You look like you’re on a mission.”

  She exhaled loudly and shook out her shoulders. “I lost my mind momentarily, but now it’s back.”

  “Don’t you hate it when that happens? Mine likes to disappear on the subway,” he laughed. “Luckily, your heart will always guide it home.”

  Amelia stared at the driver’s bushy eyebrows in the rearview mirror, appreciating another message from an unlikely source. She almost asked him if he knew Lilly. Or maybe his mind hung out with Lilly’s on a regular basis. She laughed at the thought before a flutter of sadness washed over her. Her head had led her astray, wasting valuable time she could have spent with Sandy. It’s okay, I’m on track now. She inhaled and exhaled deeply, visualizing his face with each breathe and what she was going to say to him. Her hand shook slightly when it was time to open the door.

  “Good luck, Kiddo.”

  All she could do was hiccup in response and wave. Amelia made her way to the lower level of Bethesda Terrace to search for him. She scanned the lake until she saw his broad back flexing against the pull of the oars in the water. Her heart sank. Sitting across from him was a petite blonde. Her long hair glistened as she threw her head back and laughed. Her high-pitched giggle seemed to dance across the water. Shit. She watched them for a few moments, growing sadder with each second that passed. Sandy smiled at the blonde as he playfully threatened to splash her with an oar. He likes her. She turned to run up the stairs.

  “Amelia!” Sandy called out from the water.

  She continued her ascent. Pretend you can’t hear him. Don’t turn around.

  “Ameliaaaa!”

  She was on a mission to escape.

  “Gertruuddddde!”

  She froze. What are you doing? Just go talk to him. She turned slowly and feigned a look of surprise, a bad one. Her feet dragged as they made their way down the stairs. She gave a limp wave. He paddled the boat next to the steps leading into the water and waited for her to meet them.

  “See, I knew you could have handled being a Gertrude,” he said while holding onto the retaining wall with his hands. “You look irritated. Did your date tank?”

  “Lilly didn’t approve of him.” Her attention was focused on the blonde, who was now smiling a little too enthusiastically for Amelia’s taste.

  “Atta girl, Lilly. I knew I liked that kid right away.”

  “Well, I better get going. I don’t want to keep you from your rowing.”

  “Don’t be silly,” said the blonde. Oh fuck you, Blondie. “Why don’t you swap places with me? Sandy’s told me all about you?”

  She gulped. “He has?”

  “Amelia, meet Paige,” he said, motioning toward her with his hand. “She’s my favorite cousin.”

  Cousin? I’m sorry for mentally planning your demise. “Hiiii,” she squealed with surprise. “Nice to meet you.”

  “She’s studying in London now, but she’s going to stick around until after the wedding.”

  “Oh wonderful,” Amelia said.

  Paige worked her way out of the rowboat and helped Amelia take her seat. “I’ll see you guys later,” she said with a wave.

  “I’m so glad you guys finally met,” he said as he started rowing away. “So, Lilly really hated him?”

  “She wouldn’t even come out of the kitchen.”

  “Ouch. Are you upset about it? You don’t look well.”

  She gnawed on her lip and shook her head. “I thought you were on a date,” she whispered.

  “What was that?”

  She cleared her throat and increased her volume. “I thought you were on a date.”

  He stopped rowing and smirked. “Really?”

  “You said you wouldn’t wait forever.”

  “Weren’t you the one complaining about rushing things? It’s been a month. I don’t move on so quickly … unlike some people I know.” He stared are her for a few moments. “Did it upset you to see me with someone else?”

  She nodded.

  “Now you know how I felt watching you go on your dates.” He stuck out his tongue and splashed her lightly with water.

  “So, I’m not too late?”

  He shook his head. “I have a confession. I planned on waiting a very long time.” She leaned forward to kiss him, sending the rowboat into a dangerous rock. He held her tightly, laughing as he tried to steady the craft. “Let’s just see where this goes,” he said. “Shake on it.” Without releasing from the hug, they both shook their bodies. Their laughter elicited smiles from their fellow boaters. “Shall we row for a bit?”

  She shook her head. “The Ambassador of Cuteness is waiting for you return.”

  He started paddling fast towards the boathouse. “We mustn’t leave her waiting. I need to stay on her good side.”

  Four

  The ceremony was taking place at a family home in the Hamptons. Her mother had selected a simple sheath that draped along her curves like water. Amelia attended the final dress fitting and was reduced to tears when Jeanette came out of the dressing room.

  “You look beautiful,” she said as she blotted her eyes. “He is going to melt when he sees you.”

  She twirled and examined her reflection in the mirror. “I hope so. I’m just crazy about this guy. I’ve never felt this content in all my life.”

  “Mom, I want you to be honest with me. Do you not want me to date Sandy? This is your last chance. Is it too weird?”

  “Is what too weird?” asked a voice from the hallway. They turned to see a statuesque figure walking towards them in what appeared to be the latest Issey Miyake creation. “I’m Bunny Bingleman,” she said while holding out her hand. “I was told I could find you both here. That dress is stunning. Really, you are a vision.”

  “Thank you, Bunny. It’s nice to finally meet you. My fiancé always speaks
so highly of you.”

  “Likewise.” She turned towards Amelia with both hand on her hips. “This must be our troublemaker.” She took a step forward and placed her hand under Amelia’s chin. “You’re quite lovely. I can see why Sandy is so taken with you.” She sat down in a chair next to her and crossed her mile-high legs. “Are you as taken with him?”