by Vivian Arend
Amy’s voice shook when she finally got the words out. “I came here for all the wrong reasons. My search for revenge has only brought pain to the packs, and it’s hurt you. I’m so sorry we started all of this wrong because of me and my assumptions.”
He wasn’t going to mess this up like he had done their other conversations. He listened to what she said. “Thank you, and I accept your apology. But we need to get past the mistakes. I’m more to blame than you are. I’m stubborn, and far too focused on what’s obvious, when I should be thinking about more than what’s right in front of my face.”
Amy nodded. “So, we put the past behind us.”
“We have to, which means one more secret needs to come out. I’m sorry I didn’t share with you earlier. You need to know everything. About your brother.”
She stared at the ceiling, blinking hard as if to stop tears. “I’d like to know. I don’t want to, in a way, but I need to put it behind me and stop letting my imagination torment me.”
Evan understood. “I have nightmares about it, sometimes.”
Stillness grew between them, this time connecting more than dividing. Amy stroked his cheek. “I heard you that night, when you were having a nightmare.”
He stood, their hands still joined. “Come sit beside me. I need you in my arms if I’m going to face this again.”
When she didn’t deny him, a flicker of hope flared.
He settled on the couch, and when she would’ve sat beside him, he directed her straight into his lap so he could physically close her in his embrace. She leaned her head against his chest, and for a couple of minutes they didn’t say anything. Just sat and breathed together.
“Hudson Bay pack is smack dab in the middle of some of the best hunting territory in the world. Expeditions had always contributed to the pack finances. Only at some point, and I’m not sure exactly why it happened, Kirk Gatlann crossed a line that should never be crossed.” Evan stroked her head and shoulders, drawing strength from the contact. “Instead of caring for the pack, Kirk did the unthinkable.”
Amy leaned back, one hand resting on his shoulder as she met his gaze.
Evan took a deep breath. “One time the hunting party went to the airport and picked up visiting clients, took them on the hunt, then returned them to the airport.”
She frowned. “That seems perfectly normal.”
“It does, except afterward, one of the pack went missing. They announced he’d decided to move away, and there was no further contact. It was as if he had vanished. A young man in his late teens. It’s not uncommon for people that age to leave the North and head into Toronto or Montréal, but they usually kept in contact. He simply vanished.”
“Something bad happened?”
Evan couldn’t say this while he was looking at her. “He was dead. I found him. There was a set of subterranean caves on pack land. They were useful for many things—that’s where the moonshine still was hidden. Youth used the side passages as places to fool around. The younger ones played hide and seek. Dan was in the caves, in his wolf, and he’d been shot.”
A gasp escaped her.
“The fact Kirk wasn’t more upset with what I found made me suspicious, so I went snooping. The last hunting party he’d led had a special request. They wanted to hunt wolf.”
She quivered in his arms.
“After I finished getting sick, I didn’t even think about it. I went and challenged Kirk.”
Her fingers tightened on his shoulders. “You were young.”
“Too young to challenge an Alpha and win. The only good part of it was there were no more mysterious disappearances for a while, and then it started again.
“I was older now, and in contact with more pack. Nothing was being said in public, but you could tell things were going wrong on the inside. Those who were part of Kirk’s inner circle felt overconfident, those who weren’t in on the secret knew they were in trouble, but saw no way out.”
“That’s sickening.” Amy’s fingers stroked his face. “You challenged him again?”
Evan nodded. “There’d been three more disappear, this time a family. I still wasn’t successful in getting rid of Kirk, but more people knew things were bad. We just didn’t know how to get rid of the sickness.”
He held her close so he could finish.
“Did Kirk hunt down my brother?” she whispered.
Pain struck again. “Kirk came for me.”
She froze.
No matter how much Evan wanted to stop now, he couldn’t. “I’d already set a trap. I’d figured out how to blow up the still, and I was determined to take Kirk out when he was alone and running in his wolf. It was a simple plan, and the only one who’d be hurt was an animal that desperately needed killing.
“Only before I could act, he came for me. Told me to take my chances running in the hunt, or he’d shoot me where I stood. I had no choice. Philip must have seen me leaving with Kirk and guessed something was wrong. He followed us.
“There was a fair-sized group, all laughing and getting their guns ready. Kirk grabbed Philip and told him he was part of the hunting party and to act as a guide. I had everything in position to get rid of Kirk, but suddenly Philip was there as well.”
The utter frustration of that day came raging back, and Evan shook his head.
“I led them to where I had set up the booby trap, the entire time debating what to do. No one knew what I had prepared, and maybe I could have waited for another day. But there were no guarantees, and when I got the chance I took it. While they were directly above the caves, I snuck down a side tunnel, shifted and lit the moonshine still to blow. I made it to the surface just in time for the explosion to go off and see the entire tabletop collapse. All the leadership, the group of hunters who had arranged the illegal hunt—the entire group fell in. Trapped or dead.
“Philip with them.”
Of all the horror stories he could have told her, she never would have expected this. It seemed unreal, impossible, and yet it made total sense in a terrifying, life-changing way.
There had always been moments when she had to make choices, deciding for the good of the pack. Many times serious decisions as well, life and death on the line for more than one person.
Maybe it wasn’t the choice she would have made. But there was no way to know for sure, not unless she’d been in his position, dealing with the fear and anger Evan would have faced.
Was her brother an acceptable sacrifice? She didn’t know.
Would her brother have considered his sacrifice acceptable?
That was an entirely different question, and somehow she hoped he would have. If it had been her, knowing a terror like Kirk Gatlann was running the pack, she would’ve done everything she could to take him out.
Evan hadn’t said a word since he finished. He barely seemed to be breathing, holding motionless in anticipation of her response.
The only thing she could do was offer him comfort. She pressed closer, easing her forehead against his and holding him to her body. “I was wrong to make you a target.”
His body shook. “Do you forgive me for killing Philip?”
She swallowed hard and hung on tighter. “There’s nothing to forgive.”
Something brand-new appeared in his eyes. Muted joy? Or maybe it was hope, plain and simple. “Tell me somehow in the next fifty years you can learn to trust me. I need you, Amy. I need you as my mate, and while I’m so sorry I broke your heart and caused you pain, I can’t stand the thought of not being with you anymore.”
“We need to trust each other. Not in the future, but now. That’s the only way we can actually be together.”
His eyes darkened, his breathing grew rapid. “We’ve known each other such a short time, so filled with chaos, yet you’re already a part of me. You don’t believe that yet, but I’ll show you. Whether it takes a day, a week,
or longer, you’ll know how much you are cared for. How much you belong to me, and I belong to you.”
It was the time for sharing secrets, so she had to be brave. “I haven’t belonged to anyone in forever. Any time I tried, people disappeared. My brother, my family. One foster home after another was ripped from me for reasons I never understood. My world was continually torn apart, and I always thought if Philip hadn’t died, everything would have been different. I would have had a family who loved me and were always there for me.”
He pressed his lips to her temple.
Amy pushed the past aside. “I won’t blame you anymore. I needed to share that because it’s part of what built me. What made me afraid.”
He stroked her, both with his hands and the other part of himself that was so reassuring, so comforting. “I would’ve hated me too.”
“I don’t want to hate anyone anymore.”
Evan cupped her chin in his hand. “You aren’t alone. God, I’ve been such a fool, and made such mistakes. But we’re going to fix this. This is not just about our pasts. It’s about the fact I want to be with you, and I want to be everything I have to be so you’re never alone.”
Inside, her wolf uncurled. Over the past weeks, the beast had retreated, upset and saddened by what she thought was the rejection of her mate. “How do we move on?”
“The same way you start anything. At the beginning.” He brushed his lips over hers. Infinitely tender before pulling back to stare into her eyes. “Yes, we have two packs that need us to unite them, but this isn’t about them. This is about us. The stronger we are, the better we will be able to support them. It’ll become a circle. The stronger they are, the more you and I will be happy. Because that’s who we are, and what’s important to us. But we need to come first.”
Another crack split the ice around her heart.
“I can’t leave them. I thought about it,” Amy confessed. “I thought maybe if I did leave, Canyon would be forced to accept you as Alpha, but I can’t do it.”
Evan shook his head. “And you shouldn’t. The truth is Whitehorse will be the strongest with both of us. The packs aren’t independent of each other, no matter what they think. They need each other, and we need each other.”
Something inside melted more, and Amy risked a smile. “Then it’s a good thing we have each other.” Fear was fading. It had no place when faced by such truth. She found her fingers tangled with his. “We serve the wolves.”
“We,” he emphasized. “We’ve only begun finding ourselves.”
There was no way she could deny him.
Her head and heart were so full that when he leaned closer, she wasn’t sure at first what he planned. By the time his lips touched hers, she’d lost the ability to protest.
Besides, they were past the point of protesting. This was what they needed, not as a frustrated way to deal with two wolves and two people who weren’t sure what they wanted. This was a time for them to affirm they were mates, and that no matter what, they would face the future as one.
He held her tenderly even as the kiss grew more intense. Amy lifted up so she could straddle his body. She grasped his shoulders and held on tight as their mouths met. He sank his teeth into her lower lip, and a shudder rolled through her. Acceptance and trust building.
She got his buttons open, desperate to make contact with skin. Then one long, slow stroke followed another as she explored his pectorals, and up over his shoulder muscles. Dragging her nails down his biceps before repeating the move all over again.
He was busy as well, peeling away her top so he could tease and pet. Hands so gentle on her body even as she understood there was no escaping his touch.
He cupped his palms around her breasts, circling his thumbs over her nipples until they peaked. When he leaned over and licked the tight points, satisfaction rippled over her skin.
This was what she needed. Not just a mate she was attracted to because of fate and circumstance. This was a man who was totally connected with her and ready to take on the world at her side.
Evan brought her with him as he took them down the hallway to her bedroom. She smiled against his lips as he lowered her to the bed. “I disconnected the remote control. Sorry.”
“I’m still seeing stars, and if this bed isn’t rocking on its own soon, I’m doing something wrong.”
It took ten seconds to get rid of the rest of her clothes while he was busy doing the same. There wasn’t a frantic need for massive foreplay. Instead, it was all about connection. Being there for each other.
They lay naked on the bed, body and soul exposed. Touching gently, exploring and talking quietly at the same time.
“I wanted to wake up with you in my arms,” Evan confessed. “That first morning, after we spent the night together. I missed you. Deep down inside my soul, I knew something was still wrong and I ached for you.”
Amy understood. “That night you had the nightmare. I wanted so badly to comfort you, but I was so afraid. What if I opened myself up to hope, and you were torn away like everyone else in my world?”
He kissed her. Pressed his lips to hers, to her cheek, up and over her eyes. Brushing away tears that came involuntarily. Kissing her temples, and her nose, and her chin. As if he couldn’t get enough of touching her.
“I’m yours. I’ll never leave you, and we’ll find a way to be together and serve the pack.” He tucked her against his body so they were connected. Not like while making love, but every inch plastered together until neither of them could move without the other being totally aware of it. “If it ever comes to a choice, we’ll work together to find a way. I promise.”
Amy’s heart was so full she could have exploded. He rolled her under him, opening her thighs to let his hips settle. The hard length of his heavy shaft pressed to her softness, and as she dragged her nails down his back he rocked, teasing her to a higher pitch.
Between one breath and the next, he slipped into her. Filled her completely, joining them the way they were supposed to be as mates.
Trust. Connection.
She held on tight as he convinced her they belonged together. For the next couple hours, he convinced her. Her loneliness and doubts finally erased.
Chapter Nineteen
Evan wasn’t sure how he had survived before. It was as if he’d been asleep, and now woken up. He wanted to wax poetic about how the sun seemed brighter, and the air seemed clearer, but mostly he just wanted to hold Amy’s hand and be with her.
His brain was playing every cheesy Beatles song imaginable, and he didn’t even give a damn.
It was time to move forward together. Not only were they mates, but united they were powerful enough to accomplish whatever was necessary to calm the packs.
He knew it was his fault it had taken so long to get to this point. Amy resisted saying I told you so, and he appreciated it.
He expected no such restraint when he next saw his Beta.
“I want to do this.” Amy rubbed his fingers absently as they walked from his car to the Moonshine Inn, headed to the bar. “Merging is going to be tough, but it doesn’t need to become a huge war.”
“Unfortunately, it might be too late. We’re already doing damage control. But since I’ve got a commitment from Canyon that they’ll support me if I behave…” he gave her a wink, “…it’s the hard heads at Takhini we need to work over, mine included.”
“That’s why I suggested dropping in at the bar. Just don’t feel as if all of them need to fall in love with me today.”
Evan had no intention of pushing things, but he was also immensely aware of what was on the line. It wouldn’t do for him to be distracted or preoccupied.
“About time you got here, Evan. Oh. It’s you. Hi, Amy.” Shaun stood in the doorway, looking her over as if checking for lice.
Oh, hell no. Tonight was going to be about challenges, but Shaun should kno
w better. Evan readied to defend Amy, but she beat him to it, grabbing Shaun by the collar. She whipped his Beta around and pushed him back into the bar. “Show a little more respect to your betters, brat.”
Voices dropped throughout the bar as pack stopped in their tracks and turned their attention toward the door. Everyone wanted to see what Shaun would do, especially since he’d been pretty vocal about dissing her.
Then Amy stepped to Shaun’s side and hip-checked him, rocking him hard enough to knock him off balance. She laughed, catching him before he could fall to the floor. “Oh, Shaun, don’t you know women always arrive on time?”
Gem rose from where she was sitting, a real smile on her lips. “She’s got you there. Or…” Shaun’s mate raised a brow, “…did you have a comment to make regarding women and punctuality?”
Gem and Amy glanced at each other then burst out laughing, and the tension faded. Evan took his place beside Amy, slipping his arm around her and bringing her tight to his side.
Shaun wrinkled his nose, sniffed a couple of times, then rolled his eyes. “Great. This is what I get for being so smart.”
“Yes, this is your fault.” Amy glanced at Gem. The woman nodded in approval as Amy grabbed Shaun and gave him an enormous hug, kissing his cheek before she released him. Amy kept hold of Shaun’s shoulders, looking up at him, her happiness shining bright. “This is your fault, and I don’t ever want you to forget it. You wonderful man.”
A flush spread over his face, and Shaun turned abruptly. Stomped to his chair and sat with a plop, scooping Gem into his lap and burying his face in her neck.
All around the bar, people eyed the situation with unease, and not a little confusion.
Someone sidled up to Amy and paused. Looked her up and down, then dipped his head before fleeing to the far corner of the pub.
“What was that about?” Amy muttered.
Evan had a bad feeling about it. “Going to snitch on us, I think.”
He took a slow look around, examining everyone in the room. Taking in the rustic wood decorations on the walls, the pulsing beat of music in the background as conversations slowly resumed.
