Hold On (The 'Burg Series Book 6)

by Kristen Ashley

  But not that.

  “It’s gonna be okay,” I declared, doing it with finality so we could stop talking about it.

  She nodded, hearing my tone, knowing what I needed and, being Feb, giving it to me.

  With me helping, it didn’t take long to finish the restock. When we were done, she grabbed the empty boxes and headed to the back to finish the stock take.

  I went to the front to unlock the door.

  I hadn’t yet fully made it down the bar to round it when the door opened.

  I turned and stopped when I saw Ryker prowling in, his eyes clamped on me, his big, motorcycle-booted feet bearing down on me.

  The vision of this from Ryker would likely scare ninety-nine percent of the human population straight to the point of wetting themselves.

  This was because he was huge. He was also wearing a black tank stretched across a massive chest, a black leather jacket hanging from his extensive shoulders, this hiding the two sleeves of tattoos adorning his arms. He had a large, lethal-looking knife sheathed at the side of his belt. He was bald and many would think he was ugly.

  I was not a woman who thought that. Rough, tough, and scary didn’t turn me off, and a man did not have to be conventionally attractive to get my attention.

  Just looking at him, I knew Ryker could be a monster in bed and be that in a bad way.

  He could be the same in a very, very good way.

  Or he could shock the shit out of you and be all about you in gentle ways that blew your mind.

  I suspected, depending on his mood, he was both of the last two. I suspected this because I knew Lissa, his woman.

  She was a good woman, a hardworking one, a kind one, and not a stupid one. She would no sooner glance Ryker’s way again if he didn’t treat her right than she’d do harm to the daughter she adored. Definitely not have him in her bed and keep him there.

  I also knew all about Ryker, including the fact he’d put a ring on Lissa’s finger and officially adopted Lissa’s girl, Alexis.

  He loved his girls. And when the unimaginable threatened the ’burg and Alexis got caught up in it, nearly had her world obliterated by it, Ryker didn’t hesitate after he went all out to make sure she was safe. He claimed both her and her mother, officially and legally, and covered them in his considerable protection.

  So no, even if the man looked like a lunatic, he didn’t scare me because he didn’t hide who he really was, and the way he looked after the women under his roof said it all.

  I put my hands on my hips and snapped, “You hung up on me.”

  I held my ground even as he got toe to toe to me, bowed his back, and put his mug right into mine.

  “You did not hear whatever you heard from your neighbors,” he growled.

  My blood ran cold.

  “And from here on out, woman, you do not even fuckin’ look in the direction of that house. It does not exist for you. The people in it do not exist for you. You don’t let your boy anywhere near that house or the people in it. Are you hearing me?”

  Jesus, what was going on?

  “Ryker—”

  He got closer and his nose brushed mine when he barked, “Are you hearing me?”

  “I’m hearing you, brother. Stand down.”

  He didn’t stand down, but he did edge his face away half an inch.

  “And you don’t mention that shit to anyone, Cher. Not a fuckin’ soul. Not Colt. Not Sully. Not pillow talk with Merry.”

  At the pillow talk comment, I screwed up my eyes at him. “Back off, Ryker. Now.”

  “I’m tellin’ you ’cause you’re one of the ten people I actually like in this world, do not say a motherfucking word.”

  “What’s going on?” I asked sharply.

  “That’s not for you to know. You’re smart, sister. Stay smart, keep yourself to yourself, and your mouth shut.”

  “Jesus, Ryker, okay,” I replied.

  He scowled at me and I endured it, not happy at all with this turn of events.

  Finally, he moved away, heading toward the door.

  He stopped at it, hand on the handle, and turned back to me.

  “Just so you know, we got you covered. Tanner briefed me. I’m all over the church lady,” he shared.

  My body locked in order to battle the sudden burn engulfing it.

  His mood shifted and he grinned his maniacal grin.

  “And just to weigh in, I’m feelin’ all rosy, Merrick finally got his head screwed on straight and turned his eye to a decent woman worth his attention. Lissa’s beside herself. She’s been sayin’ for years, he just shook off the ghost of that bitch, he’d see what’s in front of his face. Good he finally took off the blinders that stupid twat locked on and looked. But this ‘one-time thing’ is fucked up, sister. Advice? Hook that boy. Sink those claws in deep.”

  And with that, he lifted a long-fingered, veined, humongous hand, gave me a salute, and disappeared behind the door.

  His last declaration was lost on me.

  The one before it had all my attention.

  Tanner briefed me. I’m all over the church lady.

  Tanner briefed me…

  Tanner…

  Merry had shared. Merry had promised right to my face he wouldn’t tell a soul, and he’d shared. He’d told Tanner. Tanner had enlisted Ryker. Now they all knew and they were all up in my shit.

  With intent, not allowing myself a moment to think better of it, I reached back and yanked out my phone.

  I was shaking, I was so pissed, but I still managed to fire it up and get to my texts.

  I found Merry, my last text to him hovering unanswered on the string.

  Using both my thumbs, they flew over the screen.

  Talked to Ryker. He’s been briefed by Tanner. He’s all over the church lady.

  I was so pissed, I hit send before I was done.

  That means you broke your promise to me. Right to my face, you promised. You lied.

  I hit send again, even though I was still far from done.

  You know what that means, Merry. You shared my shit. That means we’re over in every way we can be over.

  I hit send right when my phone started ringing.

  I declined the call and finished up.

  DONE, I typed and sent, my phone telling me that Merry was calling again. I declined that too.

  Then I went in and blocked a second number that day.

  I shoved my phone in my pocket and, with wooden movements, walked on my spike heels around the bar.

  The door opened and our first customer came in.

  That meant I did one of the few things I was really good at doing.

  I hid the shit of my life, burying it down deep, plastered a cocky smile on my face, and called out a greeting.

  * * * * *

  Garrett

  Garrett took the steps up to Tanner’s office two at a time.

  He slammed the door at the top, entering the reception area, and stalked to Tanner’s office off the side.

  His friend was standing by his desk, his eyes narrowed and on Garrett the minute he cleared the inner door.

  “Jesus, brother, like that door the way it is. What the fuck?” he asked irately.

  “Set Ryker on Cher’s shit,” Garrett ground out.

  Tanner’s chin jerked back before he confirmed, “Yeah. The deal I was workin’ with him got sorted this weekend. Like Ryker, next day he comes in bitchin’ about bein’ bored. Learned things can be not good if he doesn’t have some action, seein’ as he’s got no problem drummin’ up action, and I don’t have any action that I can involve him in. So I set him on Cher’s shit.”

  Garrett lifted a hand and jabbed a finger Tanner’s way, not giving that first shit that his friend’s face changed, showing exactly how much he didn’t like that.

  “Told you, brother, you kept your mouth shut about that,” he reminded him, dropping his hand.

  “And I told Ryker to keep it quiet,” Tanner returned.

  “Well, he didn’t. H
e told Cher about it.”

  Tanner’s head twitched, his mouth set, then he forced through his lips, “Fuck, told him to keep quiet. Didn’t tell him to keep it quiet from Cher. He probably thought she knew we were workin’ it for her.”

  “Well, she knows now,” Garrett pointed out.

  Tanner focused more fully on him. “She pissed?”

  Garrett spoke low, giving his understatement. “Oh yeah, big man, she’s pissed.”

  Tanner folded his arms on his chest. “Talk to her, Merry. I know she’s stubborn and wants it clear to anyone who might get close that she can look after herself, but bottom line, we give a shit about her and wanna help. She’s gotta have it in her to see it that way eventually and settle in.”

  “You don’t know Cher,” Garrett shot back.

  Tanner tipped his head to the side. “I do. Not as good as you, but I do. Though, I’ll listen you wanna give it to me why you’re all of a sudden so into her space, she throws a fit about people she doesn’t want bein’ in her shit, you’re slammin’ into my office to get in my face about it.”

  “I made a promise to her when I found out she had issues that I wouldn’t share. I broke that promise for a good reason, but I did it thinkin’ the man I broke it with would have my back on that and, by extension, hers. He didn’t, and it isn’t you who’s gonna pay that price, Tanner. It’s me.”

  Tanner’s voice quieted when he asked, “What’s the price, Garrett?”

  “She and I are over.”

  His brother-in-law’s brows flew up. “There was a Cher and you?”

  Already pissed, Tanner’s question made him more pissed because Garrett didn’t buy his shit. From Darryl leaving Cher with him Friday night to Garrett strong-arming Cher into the office at J&J’s on Sunday, word was flying around the ’burg. If Tanner hadn’t heard it directly, Rocky heard it at work or Ryker had heard it, and one, the other, or both of them had shared.

  “You been livin’ in a hole since last Friday?” he fired back sarcastically.

  “Rumor is flyin’ but not confirmed,” Tanner told him, finishing, “until just now.” His gaze stayed intent. “You wanna share where that’s at?”

  “Right now, it’s not anywhere, seein’ as Ryker shot off his mouth and by that, Tanner, I mean the woman is done. I told you she was there when I was dealin’ with the finality of losin’ Mia, and she was there in a way that left somethin’ to explore. I was makin’ no headway with that but you are in the know that she means something to me, we’re tight, and with Ryker’s play today, that’s gone. She’s done with us any way she can be done.”

  “You were tryin’ to make headway?” Tanner cautiously pushed.

  “Fuck, you seen the Cher we’re talkin’ about?” Garrett asked.

  Tanner grinned and mumbled, “Yeah.”

  Yeah.

  Not a lot of men would look at the kind of pretty Cher Rivers had and not feel it somewhere, primarily in their dicks. Took a certain kind of man to see the barbs she surrounded herself with and give it a go. But there weren’t many who wouldn’t take it if a miracle occurred and she gave them a shot.

  Tanner wouldn’t take it because he had a wife, kids, and a happy life he worked hard to get.

  But that didn’t mean he didn’t appreciate a good view.

  “That’s the package, Tanner. Found Friday night, wrapped up under it, what she’s got blows the mind. I don’t mean just the fact the woman is fuckin’ outstanding in bed. You get that with the attitude, her sense of humor, and Christ, never laughed so hard with another being, man or woman. All that comes with her brand of loyal and protective, which is sharp, but that edge hides a warm so warm, you got hold on that, you’ll never be cold.”

  “Jesus, Merry,” Tanner murmured.

  “Now,” Garrett kept on, crossing his arms on his chest, “not lost on anyone in this ’burg, especially the ones with a vagina, any woman who gets my attention after Mia made the finality of our final obvious by accepting another man’s ring, that woman would be a rebound. And straight up, that’s what I thought had happened with Cher the morning after. I needed to let go and she gave me that opportunity. Then I found she had a situation, and my reaction to that bore contemplation. I contemplated.”

  “And you wanna explore,” Tanner surmised.

  “I did. She doesn’t. She’s certain she’s a rebound fuck, and she’s certain of a lotta other things she was tryin’ to convince me about in a way I knew I had my work cut out for me. One thing I knew, the way things are with me and the way she just fuckin’ is, I could make no promises I couldn’t keep. Not for her, so she didn’t get in too deep. Not for her kid, who she isn’t gonna drag into another situation that might go south. The last man she let in, turned out he was as bad as it gets. She doesn’t need another man to make promises and shit all over her. But in all that, I’d made a promise. One promise. I broke it for a reason. Now she really doesn’t wanna explore.”

  “I had no idea about any of this shit, brother, or my brief with Ryker would have gone different,” Tanner told him. “I didn’t expect he’d say shit anyway, but you know I wouldn’t lay you out like that if I knew where your head was at with Cher.”

  Garrett drew a breath in through his nose and looked out the window.

  “You really over Mia?” Tanner asked quietly.

  Garrett turned his gaze back to him. “It’s an uncomfortable feeling, kickin’ your own ass for years, knowin’ you let go the only woman you loved and knowin’ you should’ve pulled out all the stops to get her back, then switchin’ that on a dime to kickin’ your own ass when you realize she wasn’t worth that emotion.”

  “Yeah, I get that. That’s a major shift, Merry. And, not tellin’ you somethin’ you don’t know but gonna say it anyway ’cause it’s important, you gotta know you made that shift before you explore dick with Cher Rivers.”

  Garrett locked eyes with his friend. “Happily stand at the town limits and wave the woman on her way to Bloomington. I’m dead serious about that. Our end did not happen Friday night. Our end happened five years ago. I drew out the grief of that, with her stringin’ me along in ways I never shared because that was mine and hers. Seein’ it through different eyes now, though, it wasn’t mine and hers. It was hers, and it was shit.”

  “Stringin’ you along?” Tanner asked.

  “Mia likes games. Blinded by my feelings for her, never saw it for what it was, but she likes games,” Garrett told him and watched Tanner’s jaw go hard.

  He wasn’t a big fan of secrets between family or friends, but on this, he had to suck it up. Until Garrett wanted to make info like this Tanner’s business, it wasn’t.

  Which meant only now, sharing this info about Mia was his business.

  “Since Friday, had time to think about it,” Garrett went on. “And what I think is that I held on to what I had with her so I wouldn’t be open to what I could have with someone who didn’t get off on yankin’ my chain.”

  “Yankin’ your chain?” Tanner prompted.

  “We’re not talkin’ about Mia now,” Garrett told him. “Time I gave her is done.”

  “Okay, brother. I hear you,” Tanner muttered, then he asked, “You think you’re where you need to be now?”

  Garrett shook his head. “No clue. I just know I’m not where I used to be.”

  Tanner nodded. “Then you know—you of all people know, Garrett—from what didn’t go down with Mia that turned out right to what you encouraged to go down with me and your sister, you know the way it is. And you know you gotta do one thing.” He hesitated, drew in breath, and finished, “Proceed.”

  Garrett had given Tanner that same advice, and the road was bumpy, but the results were worth it.

  Fuck.

  The anger slid out of him, but it left frustration behind.

  “Ryker made a difficult job a lot harder today, big man,” Garrett pointed out.

  “Dig deep and decide if it’s worth the effort, Garrett. You make the decision—cut her loo
se or make that effort. Only you can decide,” Tanner replied, then shook his head. “That last isn’t true. She’s a good woman. It’s worth the effort. You wouldn’t charge in here, pissed as shit, if you didn’t know it. You just gotta know, for her sake and for her kid’s, that your shit’s together before you go for it.”

  Garrett drew in another breath, dropped his arms, and lifted his chin.

  His message relayed about Ryker, with no reason to be pissed other than being pissed at himself, a ton of work on his desk, and a new problem with Cher to sort, he had no purpose being there.

  “Gotta get back to the station,” he muttered.

  “On your walk, think about how Cher had occasion to have a chat with Ryker.”

  Garrett’s attention turned acute on Tanner.

  It came to him and he whispered, “Fuck.”

  Tanner laid out the realization that belatedly hit him.

  “What I heard just now from you, she’s thrown up her shields, fightin’ you off. She knows you’re diggin’ in with her shit and she might’ve been lookin’ for reinforcements to help her out with that so she could untangle you from it. So she’s got no call to be pissed Ryker knew when she was gonna tell him herself.”

  Garrett grinned at his brother-in-law.

  Tanner grinned back.

  “Thanks, buddy,” he muttered.

  “Don’t mention it,” Tanner replied, turning toward his desk.

  Garrett moved toward the door.

  He stopped when Tanner called, “Merry.”

  He looked back to see the man sitting behind his desk.

  “Rumors fly. Don’t wanna piss you off, but just sayin’, before some asshole asks and earns your fist in his face, and straight up, ’cause I’m curious, gotta know so I can shut it down before it blows: Word is, that rack she’s got isn’t all hers.”

  “Lots of gifts God gave Cher she doesn’t recognize, that’s one of them. If it isn’t, her surgeon was a master. But, big man, if Cher ever had money to blow on somethin’, she’d use it to give good to her boy. She wouldn’t use it to get her tits done.”

  Tanner grinned again. “I’ll take that to mean it’s all hers.”