Black Knight

by Svetlana Ivanova

  "Yes, sir," Allecra said with a polite nod. "Business and economics major."

  "Oh, really?" Robert said, looking doubtful like all good businessmen would. When his favorite interest popped up, he began to show some sign of mild curiosity. "Then can you tell me a little about what you think of economics?"

  I could tell that Robert wouldn't pass an opportunity to test Allecra — to see if she really had what it takes to earn his recognition.

  "Do you know the difference between a doctor and an economist?" Allecra asked him back.

  Robert raised his brows, not expecting a stimulating question to be fired back at him like that. His lips twitched in fascinated surprise.

  "Well, you tell me," he said.

  "A doctor saves people one at a time while a good economist saves millions of people at a time."

  Robert smiled and nodded.

  "But people are still complaining about job losses."

  "An economist would look at the issue as a silver lining," Allecra said and raised her glass for a leisure sip. She was waiting for the effect to sink in. Sure enough, now Robert was leaning forward on the table. His attention was fully fixed on her. I noticed Allecra smiled knowingly to herself. Nothing was more accomplished than having an upper hand over a self-righteous man.

  "And why is that?" Robert decided to ask. He couldn't curb his curiosity any longer. Allecra just had this mesmerizing aura.

  "One thing I learned during my time in this country is that it once took ninety percent of the population to grow food chains. Now it takes only three percent. Pardon me, sir, but are we really worse off because of job losses in agriculture? Some of the would-have-been farmers are now sitting here enjoying their champagne with you. That is a silver lining."

  Robert burst out laughing. His face went red. I had never seen him like that before.

  "I can see your point," he said and nodded in agreement. "But what would you suggest we do other than complaining?"

  By now, some of the men at the other tables were eavesdropping intensely as if Allecra held the answer to the global crisis. She gave a charming smile, the kind of smile that reminded me of a young intelligent character in the Great Gatsby.

  "I suggest instead of counting jobs, we should make every jobs count," she said like an articulate expert. "Whether it be farming, sewing, engineering, fixing human body parts. By benefiting from the variety of abilities in a society and trading with another that is specializing in whatever they do best, everyone in the world can all be better off and enjoy a decent life. It's the good old win-win solution."

  "Ah...good one," Robert said with an approving smile. The look he gave Allecra was one I had never seen before, which said, 'You're still a strange concept to me, but at least, you have my respect'.

  I didn't know what negative mindset he had been nourishing, but I was relieved that everything turned out surprisingly well. It was amazing how Allecra did it. She made no effort to hone the edges of her manner, or to try to fit into the framework of everyone else's expectation.

  Allecra just stood out by being her own unapologetic self and that was truly bold and intriguing to many. They now talked and shared some laugh like old friends.

  Then my uncle-in-law turned to his wife and spoke in a low voice, "I wish Jason would wake up from his delusional dream about being a silly football star and start working his butt off in school instead. And Piper, too — I don't even know what she wants in life."

  "Oh honey, you promised that you would let your children follow their dreams," my aunt reminded him crossly.

  "I know, I know," her husband said in a resigned tone.

  Aunt Vikki turned to Allecra and me again.

  "So what do your parents do, Allecra?" she asked. As innocent as it was, I found myself going stiff at the question. I wondered how Allecra would respond to that.

  "Well, I can only tell you that they are not in the same world with me," Allecra said. For a moment, I could feel the silence flooded back again.

  Obviously, Allecra wasn't lying and neither was she telling the truth. But my sensitive aunt looked heartbroken at the thought of a bright girl like her being deprived of the family warmth.

  "Oh dear lord," Aunt Vikki said. "I'm so sorry to hear that."

  "There's no need to be sorry, madam. It's been a long time ago," Allecra said politely.

  "Please, just call me Viktoriya," my aunt said. "I'm not big on titles actually, and I think we're family now."

  Just like that, they were on first name basis and even became family.

  "Thank you, Viktoriya," Allecra said and highlighted it with a charismatic smile again. Her vibrant attitude must have done wonders on the other potentials the same way. I reckoned it with a sting of irritation. My aunt sort of blushed. Robert cleared his throat at my aunt.

  "Oh come on, Rob," my aunt scoffed and gave her husband a chastising pat on his arm. I guessed Robert and I were experiencing a little dose of jealousy. I, too, rewarded Allecra with a pinch on her left thigh under the table.

  "Ow," she yelped and turned to me as if to say 'what was that for?'. I just scowled back.

  The band was playing some acoustic love songs. Then we saw Piper walking over with someone. I realized with a pounding heart that it was the violinist.

  "Mom, dad, looks who's here?" Piper said.

  "Oh, there she is!" Aunt Vikki exclaimed. Everything was like a slow motion. Allecra looked up to find Eva sauntering in some flowing elegant white dress. It vibrantly hung from her curvaceous figure to the floor making her looked like a fairytale princess. Her glossy perfect hair cascaded in silken waves down her feminine shoulders. She moved towards our table delicately. As expected, Allecra stiffened her usual tranquil pose when she saw her former potential.

  Eva greeted everyone around the table with a charming smile. My aunt and uncle-in-law exchanged a few questions before the girl finally turned to us. In that brief moment, I saw Eva's emerald eyes immediately locked with Allecra's turquoise stare.

  From my peripheral vision, the blonde quickly tore her gaze away a second later and looked at something else. The violinist's face went blank for a short while. Then she became herself again and smiled politely as usual. Allecra took a gulp of her wine from the glass and no longer seemed at ease.

  "Are you okay?" I asked. She looked back and tried to give me a cheery smile.

  "Yeah, o'course...I'm fine," she said. I continued to stare at her face, trying to insinuate that I knew what was happening, but she refused to look at me in the eyes.

  "Nina?" My aunt's voice called out me. I jumped back from my silent observation and realized Eva was gone.

  "Yes?"

  "Eva is going to performance for us, including a birthday song for you," she told me. "Isn't it great?"

  "That's really nice of her," I said with a thankful smile. Everyone was moving up to the seats in the front of the stage, waiting for the special spectacular. A while later, we heard Eva's voice coming from the speakers.

  "It's a great pleasure to meet everyone here," she said into the mic. "At this point, I'm just going to go through relatively famous violin concerti."

  There was a round of applause and whistling from the audience.

  "Mozart loved the violin," Eva said. "It was an instrument that fit his capricious character. I can't think of another composer, who so effortlessly and often changes his mood like this man."

  A chorus of laughter rang in the air. It wasn't often you got to see a beautiful and talented musician with a sense of humor.

  "If you like this piece, please also check out my improvised Mozart's Sinfonia Concertante. Now, I hope you enjoy this performance tonight." She then rested her violin on her shoulder and a bow poised over the bridge of the instrument. The wondrous music began to drift off to grace the air. The audience was soon transfixed by that phenomenal fingerwork of the skilled musician.

  Allecra and I listened in silence. After the first song ended five minutes later, Eva received an enthusiastic chee
r.

  "The next song I composed a long time ago," she said. "I dedicate this work to those, whom we couldn't forget, and their memories, that will be cherished forever in our hearts."

  Then I saw her eyes landed where Allecra was. It was quick but obvious enough for me to catch.

  Allecra was sitting like an angel sculpture beside me. She wasn't looking at the stage now. I noticed her eyes paid more attention to her wine glass instead. I heard her audibly swallow the alcohol. It made my heart clench and the air clogged my lungs for no reason.

  "You're sure you're alright?" I tried again.

  "Why do you like to ask me that?" she said.

  "Because I know you're lying, Allecra," I told her. The words just came out of my mouth and I couldn't take them back. Allecra's head snapped to me. She looked startled as if I had jabbed her with a needle.

  "What are you talking about?" she said.

  I scowled in disbelief. Why did she still want to hide it from me? Is it because she still has feelings for Eva? Of course, she must have. The way Allecra looked at the young violinist only showed how deep their bond used to be. Although I never knew what happened between them in details, but who wouldn't want someone like Eva? I saw no reasons not to like her myself. If it wasn't for the quest of making babies that failed, Allecra and her would have been perfect together. I knew it was ridiculous of me to think that way, but I couldn't help it.

  "You still miss her, don't you?" I said and turned my head to the stage. Eva was incomparably captivating on that glowing spotlight. Then I looked back at Allecra again. Those brilliant eyes turned away from me once more. I realized she couldn't hold my gaze this time. My hands clutched the hem of my dress tightly.

  "So you know who she is then," Allecra finally said in a quiet voice.

  "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out, Allecra. I'm not stupid. Don't underestimate me like that," I said coldly back. She sat up straight and looked at me in total surprise.

  "Nina, what the hell!"

  "Isn't it obvious for you?" I snapped back, ignoring her outburst. "She seems to recognize you, Allecra. Stop acting like you have no clue about it."

  "Fine, you know about Eva, so what? Whether she remembers me or not, it doesn't change anything. It's in the past now and I couldn't change that. What do you want me to do, Nina? Re-erase her memory? Make her stop feeling? Tell her to go home and live an empty life?"

  "I don't want you to do any of that!" I snapped at her and rose from my seat. Allecra looked taken aback.

  "Nina...?"

  "What kind of a person would I be to wish something like that on someone?" I said then turned to walk away. Allecra got up and followed me out to the garden.

  Her ignorant words made hot painful anger bubble inside my chest like magma. I felt my tears of frustration spring up in my eyes. She, of all people, should have known that was not my intention. I could stand anything, but I couldn't stand having my heart misinterpreted by the person who should have understood me the most.

  "Nina, stop walking away from me," Allecra said, but I continued my angry stride across the lawn. "I'm sorry for whatever I said. I'm a dumbass, okay? Please don't do that."

  I didn't know why I had become oversensitive about this. Perhaps it was because I wanted her to know that I wasn't that kind of girlfriend that antagonizes every ex she sees. Also, some part of me just wanted her to console me, even though I knew it was childish.

  The night air was chilling and goosebumps spread over my arms. I realized I had left my jacket at the table.

  When we reached the nearby man-made pond, I crossed the bridge to the other side. Allecra kept her pace after me. I walked over to another smaller island garden. I stopped by the bank under a willow tree. There was nowhere else to go except turning back. The pond's surface rippled, reflecting the tiny yellow lights hanging from the trees like little suns.

  The cold wind blew again, making me shiver. For a moment, we just stood there in silence.

  Allecra walked up to me and draped her blazer over my shoulders. I made a fuss of trying to shrug off her attempt to rescue me, but Allecra wrapped her arms around me, locking my body in her warm embrace.

  "It's times like this that I wish I could read your mind, Nina, so that I would know what mistakes I have done to you," she murmured apologetically into my bare neck. Her breath was warm against my cold skin.

  "You could erase people's memory but couldn't read their mind?" I asked, but now my rage had softened a little with just her touch.

  "I was never trained to do that," she said, "Maybe I should start from now on. It would be so useful to read you like an open book, hmm?"

  "Eva," I said in a dry tone. "I could tell she still remembers you."

  "Some people just cling to the past more than others. Eva is a musician. She can't forget emotions. She might forget the things we did, but not how I made her feel."

  I turned around to face her. Allecra looked at me with searching eyes.

  "She must have loved you so much then," I said. "That's why her heart tries to fight for the memory of you. I could see that in her eyes."

  Allecra dropped her gaze from mine. Her sculpted face seemed to blush with shame and guilt. Sympathy permeated my chest again, but I couldn't bring myself to stop wondering how Allecra felt towards the violinist.

  "Eva and I are over, Nina," she said as if to remind me. "I feel bad for what I had done to her, but it was for the best."

  "But she's a wonderful woman, isn't she?" I said again. "That's why you acted like that when you saw her, because you still—"

  "Stop it, Nina!" Allecra turned to stare at me with those piercing turquoise eyes. "I never forget anyone I left behind, no matter how much I wanted to. But the only person I want to remember forever is you."

  "I don't see why you gave up all that just for this," I said, gesturing to myself. Allecra's brows knitted together. Concerns seared through the façade of her gorgeous face immediately. But then her frown smoothed back again. It seemed she finally understood what must have taunted me.

  "Just this?" she echoed my word in apprehension. For a minute there, she almost looked angry and upset and even disappointed. "Nina, tell me how you feel about this. I want to hear everything."

  The faint sound of classical music continued to pervade the tranquil ambiance.

  "You might think this is stupid," I said in a small helpless voice. "But I can't help feeling this way. I'm afraid that one day I'll wake up and you'll be gone, that you won't be mine anymore, just like how it happened to the other potentials. Because only in my dreams do good things happen and then I wake up disappointed with reality. You're too good to be true, the best thing that's happened to me. I don't want you to be gone like the people in my life. Because I love you so very much, Allecra."

  My voice broke at the end.

  "Oh, silly girl," Allecra breathed and held me into her tighter. She stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head gently. She seemed flabbergasted and speechless at what I just said. Her hand went up to the bridge of her nose and she squeezed her eyes shut.

  "I'm sorry," I said, feeling quite alarmed by her tormented demeanor. "I told you this is stupid. I know I should believe in us more."

  "Tell me how it all boiled down to this," she whispered softly. Her voice was strained with emotions.

  "When I saw Eva and discovered how wonderful and nice she is, it just doesn't make any sense that you don't feel anything for her. It makes me wonder why. She's beautiful, talented and mature — a real woman. I'm just a simple girl. Not that I think of it as a competition or anything. Clearly, I know myself enough to see that I could never top that..."

  "Please no more of that now," Allecra said gravely. "I am so mad and disappointed at myself for failing to make you feel special. This is all my fault, Nina. But I want you to know you don't have to be beautiful and talented like her. You are beautiful and talented like you."

  Then she took my hands in hers and brought them to her soft
lips.

  "You need to know that loving you gives me life and all the joy in the world. You mean more to me than you'll ever know. I love you, Nina. I freaking told you that from the start."

  I met Allecra's eyes again. We stared at each other's face for a moment.

  "I'm sorry for being so difficult about all of it," I said.

  "No, you don't have to apologize," she said. "What I dread the most is you being too scared to tell me how you feel."

  "Don't you think I'm annoying?" I asked. This time Allecra let out a chuckle.

  "I wish I could get you away from here right now and punish you for asking me that," she said, but she was smiling again. My lips also curved up at the corners.

  "Tell me what you're thinking right now, Allecra," I said.

  "You really wanna to hear?" she said and I nodded. She pursed her lips and stared off into a distance for a second. Then she leaned in and whispered in my ear. "I want to get down on my knees and make it hard for you to think about anyone else but us."

  I pinched her arm hard.

  "Ow!" she cried. "You need to stop pinching me, woman!"

  I laughed. Her hurt look did not match her playful eyes.

  "You deserve it." I stuck my tongue at her.

  "By the way, I have prepared a special gift for you," she said.

  "Oh yeah?"

  "I'll show you afterward," she said. "But for now I need your sweet lips on mine."

  The heat rushed back to my face.

  "We're not doing that here." I gave a warning glare.

  "Oh yes, we are," she said and pulled me against her. The inside of my body was already churning with need. Leaning forward, our mouths found each other in a fierce kiss. Her fingers curved around the side of my neck while mine tangling over her blonde strands. She drew me closer by the waist, feeling my back softly with her hands. Our tongues clasped and braided in furious need.

  "I could barely wait for the night to be over," she moaned hotly into my mouth. This was what I wanted the most for my birthday. A kiss that riled up my inside, making my stomach turn with butterflies. A kiss that sent jolts of electricity up my spine, making my heart skip. Kissing someone should not be like a burning candle, it should be like fireworks going off.