Home Lost

by Franz McLaren

  Darius lapsed into silence. Leena could not tell whether it was because he was lost in thoughts of home or because he resented her silence. Vaguely she wished he would continue, but had no strength left to ask. She needed the comfort of knowing he was nearby.

  The ring of steel horseshoes on granite ice, echoing through the night-dark forest, was the only sound.

  They dared not stop. The temperature was well below that necessary to freeze water. She knew if they remained stationary the horses would freeze. Her head hung in fatigue. She hoped dawn would bring warmth. She looked through shadowed trees to her right. A pale line silhouetted the horizon. The sun would appear in less than half an hour. She had to maintain her spells until its heat could ease her burden.

  Her horse stumbled. She used the reins to pull its head up, but had no reserves left to ease its fatigue. Time passed too slowly. Landmarks mocked her by remaining distant. Only by looking away for extended periods could she see any progress. They could not be traveling more than three miles an hour.

  Slowly, like a turtle timidly venturing into the world, the sun peeked above the horizon. The snow turned pink, lined with gray tree shadows. The horses’ plodding hooves clattered on the icy road.

  A wave of dizziness, the first sign of dangerously depleted reserves, rolled through Leena. The dawn was now light enough for Darius to see her. Quickly, she grabbed the pommel to support herself. The dizziness passed, but in minutes another wave would wash over her. The dizziness would continue and increase until she succumbed.

  Through the red haze of dawn, she saw a break in the forest ahead. It might be a natural clearing, but this close to town she hoped it was a farmer’s field.

  Another wave of dizziness flowed over her. An icy breath of bitter winter air touched her and worked its way into every exposed surface of skin. Cold pulled at her, draining her reserves.

  Leena tried to snag the pommel and missed. She felt herself tilting and was powerless to stop. From nowhere, an arm grabbed her and lifted her back to the saddle.

  "Leena," from a great distance she heard Darius' voice. A pleasant warmth rose within her at the sound. "Leena? Are you al...?"

  The voice faded.

  CHAPTER 42

  Leena drifted in a sea of memories; Her Da teaching her to make patterns and sew without pricking her fingers, her Mum walking with her through summer forests alive with chittering insects and varied birdcalls, her Mum showing her and her sister Riana how to approach nervous animals, to sense their health and heal them, she and Riana lying in dappled sunlight by a laughing summer brook calling butterflies and making grand plans for the future, the family in a wagon returning from the harvest festival in Stocksbury, the four of them around the hearth, laughing together, loving one another completely, as they relived happy events and mild embarrassments.

  Something was pulling her from the memories. Something was trying to draw her into a world she did not want to enter.

  "Leena." The call beckoned. In her mind, she turned and ran toward her memories, toward a safe, happy, warm and loving world.

  "Leena. You have to come back."

  How dare he? Hadn’t she been through enough? Hadn’t she lost everything? She had a right to stay here and be happy. She had...

  A clatter of wood against metal disturbed her dreams. As though happening to someone else, she felt her head lifted. Something warm touched her lips. Vaguely, she recognized the feel of a spoon. A good smell like her Mum’s prize vegetable soup rose under her nose. Without allowing herself to wake, she parted her lips. Warmth flowed down her throat. She felt her body taking strength from the warm flow.

  Another touch to her lips. Her internal warmth increased. Greedily, she drew in every spoonful until her body told her to stop.

  She let herself float back into memories and for a while was at peace.

  Something disturbing approached. A cold, not of air, but of soul, was near, searching, searching for her. An inner voice screamed at her to wake. She had to protect herself, now.

  Leena opened her eyes to darkness illuminated by the flickering glow of a fireplace. She lay warm and cozy beneath a thick comforter. Crackling beneath her told her she was lying on a cornhusk stuffed mattress. Darius, head drooped painfully, slept in a straight-back wooden chair next to the bed.

  Alarmed, she felt beneath the covers.

  She breathed an sigh of relief to find she was still dressed in riding cloths, although she felt the rasp of the thick down cover against her toes. Her boots had been removed.

  A wave of dread and fear flowed over her. Something malevolent, something bent on destruction, searched outside the room she was in. She did not need to see it to know it was there. Her being was infused with the feeling she had when the raven searched for her at the Garlan tree. Something like it searched for her again.

  Quietly, so as not to rustle the bedding and alert Darius, she reached beneath her tunic. Her hand closed over the Garlan branch. At the speed of thought her strength returned. The spell drain that afflicted her on the road was gone. Her mind was honed to crystal sharpness.

  Again the shadow of evil intent passed over. She sensed it had not yet located her. However, it was narrowing its search. It knew she was in the area. She recalled the spell that protected her at the Garlan tree. It flowed easily, with no conscious thought. Something inside was bonding to the Garlan branch’s power. When she freed Arvin from the ruffians, she had to deliberately cast the spell. Now it eased from her as naturally as an exhaled breath.

  She sensed a shiver of dread flow over Darius. In flickering yellow light, she saw sweat glistening on his brow, an expression of pain covered his face. His head began to rise in the first sign of waking. He too felt the presence. She expanded the protective spell to include him. A look of peace settled on his face. With a small snort, he sank back into peaceful dreams.

  Making as little noise as possible, Leena lifted the comforter and swung her trouser-clad legs over the edge of the bed. Her boots were lined up at its side.

  Her steps made no noise on the packed earth floor as she glided to the blanket hanging in the doorway, serving as a door.

  In the room beyond, the blanket covered forms of a large elderly man, and an even larger women, slept rolled together on a makeshift pallet of corn shucks. Her head lay on his great barrel chest. His arm lay across her shoulder in a comfortable embrace. Their weatherworn faces were peaceful in sleep.

  Leena lifted the front door bolt and slipped through quickly to reduce cold air passing into the room. A pale moon hovered over the silent winter landscape.

  Evil searched somewhere nearby. As she passed from house to barn, a shadow glided over, rippling across the snow. She looked toward the moon. In the distance a huge raven, wings stretched, slid through night sky. A tilt of wings and it turned, tracing a pattern, hunting. As she watched, it sailed away.

  It had lost her.

  In the barn, she found their three horses and six milk cows gathered, miserably seeking warmth from one another. She withdrew her hedge witch wand and cast a warming spell on the animals that would last until morning. As she did, she noticed there was no appreciable drain on her inner resources. Somehow, the protective spell fed her power. She reminded herself that soon she would have to explore the power of the Garlan branch. However, that would have to wait.

  From years of practice, she examined the animals. The cattle were healthy but slim due to meager winter rations. Leena knew this would reduce their milk output. She used a healing spell to strengthen them to summer production levels. Three of them would calf this spring. She expanded the healing spell to include the calves. Barring accident, they would be born fat and healthy.

  With the coming of warmth, the horses wandered from the group and buried their noses in feeding troughs along the wall. Contented sounds of munching filled the air. As they ate, Leena checked to ensure they suffered no permanent damage from the cold. All were well.

  As she slipped back beneath the comforte
r in the bedroom, Leena debated whether to remove the protective spell. Even at their extreme limit, her senses could no longer feel the raven. She wished she knew one of the guard spells the wizards in Darius’ tale used.

  It would not do to have them invisible when the farmer and his wife awoke. She removed the spell, rolled over and was quickly asleep. She had to trust her senses would alert her if danger returned.

  CHAPTER 43

  She woke to a low rumble of voices in the room. A deep voice was saying, "Once the milking’s done, I’ll go to town and fetch the hedge witch."

  Leena opened her eyes. "That will not be necessary."

  With identical startled looks, Darius and the farmer turned to look at her. The farmer recovered quickly.

  "Good morning M’lady. How’re you feeling?"

  "Famished. Would you happen to have any more of that soup? It was delicious."

  "Of course, M’lady." The farmer hustled through the hanging blanket.

  Darius came over and sat on the straight-back chair.

  "You seem awfully chipper for a person who nearly froze to death. Seriously, how are you?"

  "I feel great." She was moved by the look of concern on his face. "It was just a touch of spell drain. Many times my mother told me about it, but I'd never suffered it. I guess I overextended myself."

  Darius reached his strong hand and took her delicate one. He seemed about to say something, but suddenly the blanket door parted and the farmer entered, followed by his wife carrying a large steaming bowl. The farmer’s wife shooed Darius from the chair and sat, preparing to spoon feed Leena.

  Laughing, Leena held up a hand.

  "Thank you, M’lady, but I am quite well enough to feed myself. In fact, if you don't mind, I would rather eat at the table."

  The farmer and his wife started to protest, but Leena threw back the comforter and rose. Obviously she was healthy. Gently, she lifted the bowl from the woman’s unresisting hands and ducked through the blanket. The soup was as good as she remembered.

  The farmer’s wife bustled about, preparing food for the rest of them.

  "I’m Elke, M’lady, and the big oaf that’s just gone out with your husband to milk the cows, is Gunnar."

  Something inside Leena leaped at the sound of the word 'husband'. With effort, she pulled herself from the inner confusion it created.

  "I am Leena and Darius is not my husband. He is nothing more than a traveling companion. He rescued me from a situation. I believe he is a good man, but I hardly know him. There are times when I am not at all sure I want to. However, all in all, he is a nice guy."

  She knew she was babbling and felt helpless to stop. She felt her cheeks redden under Elke’s raised-eyebrow stare.

  "I think he is not your husband, yet," Elke said, turning to her chores. "So what brings you two along the road in this weather? A person could freeze at night out there. Are you running from someone?"

  Although the question was asked lightly, Leena sensed its seriousness. These were simple folk that wanted no trouble from the authorities.

  She explained the condition of the road during the warmth of the past few days and how they decided travel would be easier at night. By the time they discovered their mistake, it was too late to do anything but continue.

  Elke listened intently. Leena sensed trust and understanding in this big woman’s heart. As she talked, she felt herself drawn closer. It was almost like the feeling she had for her mother. She saw a similar feeling growing in the older woman’s eyes.

  "I’ve never seen the like of it," Gunnar rumbled as his entrance interrupted the connection between the two ladies, "the cows are producing like it’s midsummer. I had to pull the summer buckets out of the loft and for a bit I thought they’d not be enough. We’ve filled the skimming vat."

  He looked at Leena.

  "You wouldn’t have anything to do with that would you?"

  Leena admitted she had gone to the barn last night to check the horses and had tended the cows while she was at it.

  "What are you, a hedge witch or something?"

  She admitted being a hedge witch in training. She saw respect dawn in the eyes of the older couple. She needed to change the subject. She did not want any speculation on the extent of a hedge witch’s powers. Gunnar must have realized the animals spent the night warm.

  "So how did I end up here?" she asked.

  "Oh, that’s a tale to tell," roared Gunnar. "Early yesterday morning it was, this gentleman comes running down the road carrying you like you was a baby. I was just out the door to do the milking when I seen him loping along like a startled rabbit. He runs up to me telling me I’ve got to help him. I looked down at you and had to admit you was a mess, thin as a fence post and flopping like a wee one’s cloth doll.

  "I called Elke and we tucked you in while your mister goes running back for your mounts. By the time he returned, he was in worse shape than the horses. I turned him over to the misses while I rubbed the horses down and got them some oats and hay.

  "By the time I got back, he’s sitting in there calling your name like he’s trying to wake the dead and rubbing your hands hard enough to start a fire. For a moment, your eyes opened and Elke rushed to get you some hot soup. Then this man of yours sits there and spoon feeds you until you sink back into sleep. Then he sat there all yesterday and last night.

  "I tell you, Miss, you’re a lucky one. A regular woman wouldn’t be here today to tell the tale. Yet here you are, fit as a spring day."

  Leena watched the animation in his face as he talked. His voice held pride and his eyes glowed with pleasure as he looked at Darius and her. She felt instant kinship.

  "If you gentlemen will get out of them heavy coats, breakfast is about ready." Elke set a bubbling pot on a worn, charred board on the table. Leena smelled oats with a hint of apple. Although she just finished a bowl of soup, her stomach leaped at the delicious odor.

  "There’s more than enough if you’d care to join us." Elke’s eyes locked with Leena’s. Leena fought the urge to jump up and hug the older woman. She felt a ledge of tears building in her eyes. For a moment, she struggled to smile her way through them. Suddenly, she was running through the blanket, pitching herself on the cornhusk mattress and crying like the world was ending.

  CHAPTER 44

  As though from a great distance, she heard chairs scraping on hard-packed floor.

  "You gentlemen sit and have your breakfast." Elke’s command had the quiet ring of authority.

  Leena sensed, rather than heard, the blanket lift. She tried, but was helpless to slow the flood of emotion washing over her. She felt herself gathered in two large arms and her head nestled in the oversized woman’s comforting embrace. Through rough linen, she heard the older woman’s strong heartbeat like the sound of a faraway drum.

  "There, there now. You just let it all out." Elke’s crooning reached deep within her, releasing a new flood. Gentle loving pats soothed her back.

  "I know. Sometimes a woman goes along holding her hurts and emotions until she gets so pent up she don’t know how to let them out anymore. Then one day, without warning, it all bubbles up and the dam breaks."

  The singsong voice rolled through her, touching places locked away since discovering her family’s disappearance.

  Despite her tears, Leena tried to say everything was all right. It came out an indecipherable mumble.

  "There, there child," she felt her back rubbed, soothed, "hush now. We’ll have plenty of time to talk later."

  Elke started humming a child’s nursery song. Leena felt pain, fear, hurt from loss and loneliness ebbing. For the first time since this nightmare started, she felt safe, trusted and valuable. She felt at home.

  Her cries ebbed to sniffles then occasional hitches. Gradually, breathing returned to normal. With a last tight squeeze, Elke pushed her back and looked into her eyes. Leena felt Elke’s gentle thumbs wipe tear tracks from her face. Leena saw only concern, acceptance and understanding in the larg
e, wrinkled face.

  "Well," Elke stood and straightened the massive apron she wore, "I think it’s time we finish breakfast before it gets cold."

  Impulsively, Leena leaped up and gave the big woman a hug.

  "Thank you."

  "Believe me, child," there was joy with a faint hint of sorrow in the older woman’s face, "I needed that as much as you."

  Darius was telling Gunnar of their travels when Leena returned to the table and ladled a heaping bowl of steaming oats. She felt physically and emotionally drained, but somehow cleansed, and ravenous. She was grateful neither man appeared to notice her outburst.

  Gunnar looked at her. A big honest grin wrinkled the corners of his eyes and bulged his cold-reddened cheeks.

  "Darius here was telling me about your adventures with the bandits. He tried to sound like he was the hero, but seems to me you done most of the heavy lifting," he rumbled with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

  "That is not fair," she replied lightly, hoping to assure the men everything was all right, "he has been a good deal of help."

  Darius’ eyes went round with surprise as he sputtered a mouth full of food in protest and started choking. Gunnar rumbled a deep laugh and slapped the younger man on the back with enough force to send him leaning forward over the table.

  "I see what you mean. He does take a bit of care, doesn’t he?"

  Darius sat back.

  "I’m grateful M’lady found my humble support useful."

  Although his expression was serious, his eyes smiled into hers. Leena reached out and lightly squeezed his hand. From the corner of her eyes, she noticed a knowing nod exchanged between the older couple. Flustered, she quickly withdrew her hand.

  "So my young travelers," Gunnar said as Elke gathered bowls and moved to the sideboard to scrub them, "what are your plans for today? Although it’s bright and sunny, the cold’s still got a grip of iron. If you’ve no rush, I’d suggest you wait a day or so to see if it don’t start to warm a bit. These late winter cold snaps don’t usually last long. I’d be surprised if this one doesn’t signal the start of spring."