Fragile Innocence: A Dark Menage Romance
Page 17
There’s love between us.
A triad of hearts, love, and devotion.
“Then so be it,” he confirms, his mouth on mine once more in a tender, commanding kiss and I groan into his mouth, savoring the taste of my best friend.
Ella
It’s so dark. Why is it so dark? My eyes crack open and I find myself in a cold, dank room. The walls are a sickly gray color that reminds me of a cellar. Or a prison. Pushing up, I find the door to the tiny room closed. It’s steel with a big lock in place. Swinging my feet over the edge of the bed, I race to the entrance and bang on the door. “Hello! Is anyone there? Carter?” My voice is strangled with fear and I can’t stop my heart racing.
It’s dark, but I can make out the faint light of the moon. No answer comes from my screaming. I’m alone. No one’s here to save me. Did he find me? Will Carter save me this time? Somehow, I doubt it.
My body trembles in the cold room. I’m dressed in the tiny panties I put on after my shower earlier. The vest top is made of thin cotton that doesn’t protect me from the elements. I glance up at the tiny square close to the celling. The only reason I can make it out is because the stars are out, but they’re not enough to light my prison.
I strain my ears again, but I don’t hear anything from the other side of the thick metal door. Running my hands over the walls, I try to find some chink in the armor that surrounds me, holding me in.
It feels like hours later. I can’t even feel my fingers, so I curl up on the cot I woke up on and try to warm myself. I’ve never been so cold. So afraid. As my eyes flutter closed, I hear it. The sound of a lock clicking and suddenly the door is shoved open.
“There’s my little snowflake.” He’s here.
I’ve run and run, but he’s finally caught up with me and I have a feeling this time I’m not going to escape. He stalks toward me, bigger, bolder, and stronger. He reaches out and grips my hair, pulling me from my sanctuary on the bed, and holds me up, making me kneel on the floor. The roots of my hair burn as he tugs me around like a limp doll.
“Why?” I peer up at him, but my question goes unheeded. My body trembles as fear washes over me. As if a poison is slowly running through my veins, I feel myself surrender. Fighting for so many years is finally catching up to me. I can’t be strong forever. I can’t allow myself to defend the inevitable.
“This time you won’t leave me. There’s no running. I’ve made sacrifices to be with you, Snowflake, and this time you won’t run to him. He’s done. I’ve made sure my nephew will never bother us again.” He pulls me up by my neck, tightening his grasp.
I reach up and grip his wrist, clawing at it, trying to find air, but there’s none. No reprieve and the darkness steals me.
“Ella.”
* * *
A beeping noise drags me from a deep sleep. When my eyes crack open I find blue eyes staring back at me and the hospital room I’m in is blindingly white. “There’s my Princess.” His smile is angelic. Beautiful. Perfect.
“Am I dead?” My head is foggy and I’m sure I’m either dead or drugged.
“They don’t make angels like me in heaven, baby.” His cheeky wink has me giggling. Pain shoots through every inch of my body and I wince. “Are you hungry? I have some lunch ready for you, unless you just want some coffee? Or I can get you juice.” His eagerness is endearing, slowly sinking into my heart and filling it with love.
“Carter, just you. I just need you.”
His hand finds mine and the heat of his skin on mine calms me. It’s only then I realize I’m in a very fancy hospital room. “Why am I here?”
“Because you’re not fucking leaving my side again. Ever. After you get out of here, you’re going home with me.” The serious tone makes me smile. I don’t want to leave him again. I feel safer here than anywhere else, and I need to apologize to him. I sent him away, believing he was working with his uncle when all the while he was trying to keep me safe.
“I won’t. I promise.”
“Look, Ella, I know you’ve just woken up, but we need to talk.” His voice is serious and I know there’s so much we need to say to each other.
I nod, my eyes never leaving his. Realizing I’ve fallen for him and his best friend is something I need to come to terms with. After what happened I can’t lose them. Both men have given me strength before, and I hope they’ll do it again. I want to be independent, but I want to be theirs. They offered it to me once before, and it’s time I accept this. Loving two men. Wanting two men.
It’s my choice.
First, though, it’s time I go for therapy. It’s time I drag my life back on track.
“I know, but can you kiss me first?” I don’t know where the question comes from, but the smile I’m awarded with is magical. His face lights up and those blue eyes glow with happiness.
“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He growls. Leaning in, his lips find mine and I savor the taste of coffee and Carter. His flavor intoxicates me, thrumming through my veins, heating my blood. When his tongue swipes along my lips, I part them for him, allowing him inside the one part of my body that doesn’t hurt.
Our tongues dance in a sensual rhythm. I savor it for a moment longer before placing my hands on his chest. I push until he breaks the kiss.
“Did I hurt you?” His frown is adorable and I know he’s worried about me.
Shaking my head, I turn my gaze to the large windows from my hospital room that overlook the city. From the bed, I can see the spires and rooftops of London sprawled below.
“No, I just… I mean, I need to tell you something.” My heart thuds in my chest. Yes, I’m nervous. I feel like a fucking teenager, but I’m not. I’m an adult and I’m allowed to feel this. To say this.
“You know you can tell me anything, right?” he murmurs.
I nod. I wanted to say it at the perfect moment. A time when I’m not in pain and aching, but there’s never a perfect moment. I’ve learned that life is there. If you don’t grasp it, then you’ll never move forward and that’s what I need to do now.
“Is Bennett here?” I question and he nods with a smile.
“Ainsworth, get your arse in here,” he calls to the doorway which leads off from the room I’m in and there, in his disheveled shirt and trousers, is the other man I love.
“Can you both join me?”
When Bennett settles on the other side of the bed, I’m once more cocooned in love.
“I was in so much pain for so long. You’ve both been my knights, saving me, healing me. And while Charles had me, I realized something.” I flit my gaze between the two men. “I love you,” I tell Carter, then cast a glance at Bennett. “I love you,” I murmur the words while staring into his eyes.
The air around us sparks like a storm brewing and the desire is thick between us, as it always is. “I love you too, Princess,” Carter whispers across my cheek.
“And I love you too, sweetheart,” Bennett growls in my ear. Their words coat me in warmth, in yearning, and the heat of them surrounds me, keeping me safe.
“I want you to stay here. There will be no argument,” Carter informs me. His index finger lifts my chin until we’re staring at each other. “Do you understand me?” His commanding tone is back and I smile.
“Yes, Carter.” His domineering presence makes me feel safe and as much as I’d like to refuse and be in my own apartment I know I’d feel safer here.
“Now, are you hungry?” He pushes up from the bed, his gaze never leaving mine.
“Please. Can I have a coffee as well?”
He nods. Planting a soft kiss on my forehead, he strides from the room in his confident manner. I lean back on the headboard, feeling my eyes flutter closed, and I shuffle into the crook of Bennett’s arm. Exhaustion overtakes me, and sleep drags me under.
* * *
“Ella?” A warm hand on my shoulder pulls me from a dreamless sleep. “Baby, do you want to eat now?” Carter is dressed in only a pair of blue sweatpants and the way his T-shirt
molds to his chiseled torso teases me and I can’t stop licking my lips. “Oi, eyes up here. I’m not a piece of meat.” His teasing tone is light and relaxed, and I have to smile.
“Not my fault you’re half naked,” I tell him indignantly. Feeling myself blush, I push up to sit against the headboard and grab the mug.
“Princess, behave. You’re in pain and I want you to rest, and we need to talk.”
Taking a sip of the warm black liquid, I savor the heat that seems to seep into my bones. I was naked for so long that I didn’t think I’d ever be warm again. But now, being here with Carter I am. He’s always made me feel safe.
A large figure looms in the doorway. Bennett’s also dressed in a pair of sweats. Both men look like they’ve been molded, sculpted by a master artist. The only difference is Bennett’s ink that covers his shoulder, pec, and part of his ribs.
“I am behaved,” I tell Carter, but my eyes are glued to Bennett as he enters and settles on the bed. “I’m innocently drinking my amazing coffee that one of my amazing boyfriends brought for me.” Glancing at him, I find his lips tugging into a sweet smile.
“Boyfriend? Mmm… I don’t think I’ve been called that before, but I’ll take it.” His grin is priceless, and I hope I get to see it all the time. He places the tray of food on my lap. There’s French toast, orange juice, and honey. “I want you to eat okay, Princess?”
I nod, already reaching for the honey and drizzling it over the thick slice of toast.
His groan doesn’t go unnoticed and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling. It was only hours ago that I didn’t think I’d make it through the night, or day, but now I’m as safe as I’ve ever been.
He straightens and walks over to the window, leaving me with his best friend, who’s taken to feeding me the delicious food. Bennett’s gaze is locked on my lips and he leans in to lick away the sticky syrup.
“Is something wrong, Carter?” I question, noticing Carter’s rigid stance.
He shakes his head and turns to me. I realize he’s not mentioned what happened to Charles. I wish he’d just tell me, but I don’t want to force it. I’m not sure I’m ready to hear the outcome of that monster’s life. However, I don’t think he’s alive anymore. As long as he’s dead I don’t care how or who did it.
“No, sweetheart. Nothing at all,” Bennett responds for Carter.
I nod while I devour my breakfast but keep my eyes on both men. Once I’ve finished everything on the tray much to Carter and Bennett’s satisfaction, I whisper a quiet thank you.
“It’s a pleasure, Ella. Anything for you, sweet Princess.” Carter takes the tray and disappears down the hallway, and I have to glance at Bennett to ask.
“Is everything okay?”
“We do need to talk to you, but Cart thought it would be easier for me to do it. He’s nervous.”
“Why?” Now I’m utterly confused. I thought we were settled, but something is niggling at both men, which has me curious.
“He’s… He and I are…” Bennett’s smile is bright, crinkling the corners of his eyes, making him look so much younger than his thirty-six years. “We’ve been together a few times in the past, and the women we’ve been with have always enjoyed it. Carter and I want you to know if you’re not comfortable—”
“Nothing would turn me on more than to see my two alpha males together. The thought of you both kissing and touching, and…” I trail off. My cheeks heating is the only answer he needs.
“That’s what I thought.” He winks, pressing a kiss to the top of my head, and I lean into his hold, needing the affection.
Even though sex has hung heavy in the air around us, I’m not ready. And I know both men will wait forever for me.
* * *
The psychologist stares at me for a moment. Her glasses are perched on her nose. Her big blue eyes peek over the top of the rims.
“And you haven’t been intimate since?”
I’ve just informed her about what happened. About my childhood and what happened when he took me.
“No, I’ve…” My words taper off. Silence hangs heavy as emotion chokes me. “It’s been a while since I’ve even thought about it.”
I feel the tears. They burn the same way the wax had heated my skin to an unbearable level. Strangely, pleasure and pain can come from one object, and when Charles held the candle, he instilled pain so profound, I can’t even bear to be near a lit flame.
“That’s only normal, Ella. There’s nothing wrong with needing space and time. Some people take years, some months. It depends on your support system and your inner strength.”
My eyes meet hers. She seems so sincere with the way she speaks. It’s only my fifth session, but I feel as if I can confide in her.
“Last time you were here you said you’d like to speak to your mother. Perhaps we should do that?” she questions.
I nod slowly, still unsure if I want to hear her voice, her explanations for allowing me to live through the nightmares.
“I can call her right now. We don’t have to, but…” Her voice is gentle, coaxing me to say yes. “It might ease the heartache.”
I nod once more in agreement.
She picks up her phone, tapping at the keys. It’s on speaker, loud, jarring. My senses are on overload when I hear her familiar voice.
“Hello,” my mother answers.
“Mrs. Carmel,” Dr. Hastings says. “I’m a doctor currently treating your daughter, Ella,” she offers.
A gasp from the other end of the line tells me she wasn’t expecting that.
“EllBell,” the voice I’ve missed for so long utters as pain laces the name she gave me as a child. “Are you there?”
“Mom,” finding my voice, I utter the word I haven’t said in years, a long, long time. The emotion choking me is a lump in my throat that’s slowly stealing my breath.
“Baby, where are you? Please tell me he didn’t find you?” she asks in a ragged voice.
Anger licks its way through me, as if a match has been struck and flames are now dancing in my veins. All these years she knew. There’s no other explanation.
“Did you…?” I swallow back the fury. “Did you know what he did to me?” My question hangs in the air, above my head like a weighted balloon. Depending on her answer, I realize I could lose my mother forever. “Answer me!”
“Yes, I… I’m so sorry, baby,” she tells me, but I no longer hear her.
The world tilts on its axis, leaving me reeling from her confession. For two long years, I was the victim to a monster and my mother allowed it to happen. She sat back while her daughter was violated in the most disgusting ways and she did nothing.
“You’re sorry?” I rise, pacing back and forth. My body vibrates as if it’s alive, electricity sparking through me. A thunderstorm wracks through me like it does to the ocean. The waves crash around me, pulling deeper into the abyss. Darkness.
“Please, EllBell,” she tries again, but I can’t.
This isn’t the woman I grew to love until my sixteenth birthday. I believed she was clueless because I needed her to be. My pain, my agony that ripped me apart for years was something my mother allowed to happen. Why? Was she so desperate for a man in her life?
“I hate you,” I tell the phone. The piece of plastic that doesn’t mean anything to me feels my wrath, and I hope deep down, my words seep over the line and into her heart. I want to make her pay as much as I wanted him to pay.
“Baby girl.” Her words only fuel me further, sending me into a dark rage. I don’t move anymore. I’m still. I’m calm. But inside my turmoil burns me.
“I’m not your fucking baby girl,” I bite out angrily. “Do you understand me? I’m not your fucking daughter.”
I am strong. I am strong. I am strong.
“Ella,” Dr. Hastings murmurs. Her hand lands on my shoulder in an attempt to calm me, but fury is the only thing I see. It blurs my vision.
Picking up the phone, I hold it to my ear. “If you ever com
e near me, ever try to contact me, I’ll kill you myself. I want nothing to do with you.” I press the end call button, meeting my doctor’s worried gaze. “I need another session.”
“I know.” She nods. “I’m sorry about...” Her words are sad, her tone softer than normal. She walks over to her desk. I watch her press the button for her receptionist. “Please send him in now. We’re done,” she speaks to the machine. Her gaze lifts to mine. “We’ll set another appointment for Friday. It will give you a day to mull over everything and I want to hear your thoughts on everything. From there, we’ll move on to healing.” Her coldness gives me strength. She’s good. I feel comfortable with her.
The door opens and Bennett stalks in. “You okay, sweetheart?” he questions worriedly.
I nod.
“Come here.” He opens his arms, waiting for me to take the step. They’ve each given me this, a choice. He and Carter have been there for me as I heal, as I find my footing again. Without needing to think too much about it, I fall into Bennett’s arms. I’m safe here. Warm. Loved.
“That’s it for today. You’re welcome to take her home.”
We make our way out of the office with my face buried in Bennett’s white button-up. My heart cracked open wide from my mother’s confession. I should’ve asked her why, but to be honest, I don’t want to know. I have nothing more to say to her. My life is here now. With the two men who have come to love me as much as I do them.
Carter
The apartment door opens, and Bennett and Ella step inside the space. Her face is a picture of pain and agony. I’m on my feet in seconds, wanting to be close to her, to hold her, but her hand flies up before I have time to take a step toward her.
“I need time.” Three small words that slam right into my chest. She leaves us staring at her retreating form as she makes her way straight to the bathroom which is just off the bedroom, locking the door and turning on the shower. I feel her sadness down to my bones.