Changing His Game

by Justine Elvira

  "I'd fuck you so hard, rubbing my pierced cock over and over again in just the right place. You know the place, babe? The one I'm rubbing right now. I can feel your pussy clenching, squeezing my fingers so hard, wanting to let go and come, but you're trying to hold back. Don't resist it, babe. Come on my fucking fingers and imagine it's my dick inside you."

  My hips start to move and I can't control it any longer. I need to come. I start to fuck his fingers, taking them as deep as possible.

  "That's it, fuck my fingers, babe, fuck them hard." Jared's mouth moves down to mine and he kisses me passionately. I kiss him back, my uncontrollable hunger for him never leaving. He bites down on my bottom lip and that's my undoing. I come for him so hard. I ride his fingers until they've taken every ounce of pleasure out of me.

  When I start to come down from the high, I see Jared's cold eyes staring at me. With his fingers still inside me, I watch as he hits the button near his door and speaks, "You can bring me back to the restaurant now. I'm going to finish dinner with my companions and you can take Autumn home."

  His voice sounds distant and when he removes his hand from the speaker, he removes his other hand from my pussy. His fingers are soaked with my juices and instead of licking me off him; he looks for a place to wipe them off. He decides to wipe them off on the outside of my dress.

  "I'd use my own shirt, but I'm going back in public. You're just going home."

  I'm confused; he said he loves how I taste. Why didn't he just lick me off his fingers? Or offer it to me like he did our first time fooling around?

  I sit up and reach out for his arm. I don't want tonight to end.

  "Jared?" I ask tentatively.

  He pulls his arm from me and looks my way. "You don't need to explain. You were jealous, you wanted a piece of me and I gave you exactly what you wanted. I gave you exactly what everyone wants, my expertise. I'm glad it was good for you."

  The car comes to a stop and Jared climbs out. He ducks his head back in and I can’t control the tears that start to fall down my cheeks, but he doesn't care. He looks at me unaffected. “I'll get the keys from the valet and drive the car you drove here home.”

  He shuts the door as more tears fall down my cheeks. Who was that man? It definitely wasn't Jared.

  Chapter Twelve

  The next week is complete torture. Jared will barely look at me and the only time he communicates with me is if it has to do with work. It hurts more than anything has ever hurt before. It sounds absurd, even to me, but I've never felt this kind of pain before. I miss my friend.

  I wake up with the false feeling of warmth and love. When I lift my head I see Jared still sound asleep and on his back. My head and upper body are draped over his chest. This happens every once in a while. We aren't really talking, but we're under some kind of silent agreement that I should still sleep in his bed. As much as it hurts to wake up feeling so content and then it ruined by reality, I can't get myself to go back to Tawny's room.

  I shift to move off Jared when I hear him mumble in his sleep, "No, don't go." His arms are wrapped around me as he holds me to his body. It feels good, too good, and I know this moment might not happen again. Instead of fighting it, I relish in these few moments of pleasure. I lay my head back down on his chest and listen to his steady breathing. I can hear his heart beating in his chest and I decide to close my eyes for just a second and enjoy the sound.

  I don't know how long I'm asleep for, but I wake up to Jared moving out from underneath me. I open my eyes and watch his backside as he walks into the bathroom and closes the door without uttering a single word.

  I don’t know what to do. How can I make things right between us? He won't even give me a chance to make things better. Truthfully, I don't even understand why he's mad at me. I should be the one mad at him. He treated me like crap in that limo. Like I was just another piece of ass and not someone he actually cared about.

  I can hear the water running in the bathroom and I decided to get up and avoid any awkward interaction that might happen if I stay in his bedroom. I'll make him breakfast and we can have an awkward conversation in the kitchen instead.

  I whip up some scrambled eggs with bacon, toast, and orange juice. I’ve just finished putting the butter on the toast when Jared enters the kitchen.

  "I made us breakfast.... I figured we could talk."

  He watches me as I carry the plates to the table and sit down, gesturing for him to take the seat next to me.

  "I don’t have time for breakfast this morning. I need to be on set early."

  I'm quiet for a second, debating how I should approach this.

  "Kelly usually picks you up and she's not here yet. Can’t you just sit and eat with me until she gets here?"

  He looks over at the clock above the kitchen sink, almost as if to make a point, before he drags his feet and sits down in the chair next to me.

  I watch him as he starts to scarf down his eggs.

  "I miss you, Jared."

  He swallows the helping of eggs in his mouth and chaises it with a sip of orange juice. "I'm right here."

  "Physically, yes, but you're not here, Jared. You're distant, we never do anything fun anymore, and we don't talk like we used to. I... I miss my best friend."

  There, I said it. I feel a small weight lift off my chest and now I just need to wait and hear what he has to say.

  He takes a bite of bacon and chews while I just stare at his jaw as it moves with every bite. "I've been busy."

  "Too busy to talk to me? To show me any courtesy? I thought things had gotten better, but they're worse than ever now. I don't even feel welcome here anymore."

  "Have I told you that you're not welcome?"

  "Don’t do this again, Jared. You may not have said it, but every day you make me feel unwelcome. I don’t know what I did, and if I don’t know what I did I can’t fix it. Tell me how to fix it." My eyes start to fill with tears and I take deep breaths, anything to stop the tears from falling down my cheeks.

  Jared drops his fork and turns toward me, his hands move up to cup both of my cheeks. "Don't cry, babe."

  "I can't help it. I don't know how to fix things between us."

  "I'll fix it, for real this time. I'm dealing with shit; emotions I've never felt before and I don't know how to handle it. I don't know how to handle you and strictly having a platonic relationship, when every part of me wants more with you."

  I look up into his gray eyes and for the first time in a long time I feel hope. I smile slightly, but stop myself from smiling a big goofy grin because there is a huge chance I misunderstood him.

  "You want more with me?" My eyes never leave his as I wait for him to answer.

  I hear the front door slam and the sound of heals walking across the tile entry way and into the kitchen. Jared's hands drop from my face and I know our conversation is over. Kelly comes storming into the kitchen and slams her purse on the counter top.

  "Every day that goes by, you make my job harder. Things need to change, Jared, or I don't know if I'll be able to do this for much longer."

  "You're getting paid, aren't you?"

  "That's not what I mean and you know it. I have angry production companies calling me every time I turn around. You're pissing a lot of people off."

  Jared stands up and takes his plate to the sink, "Can we talk about this in the car?"

  "What? You still don’t want precious over here knowing what's going on?"

  Precious? Since when did Kelly have a nickname for me? I'm pretty sure it isn't a positive nickname either.

  "My work is none of her business. We'll talk about it in the car," Jared says sternly.

  "I think we should talk about it now." Kelly isn't backing down and Jared looks pissed.

  "If you don't drop this shit now, I'm going to drop you on your ass without a job. I keep things confidential for a reason, so either shut up and get in the car, or you can leave and look for another job."

  This shuts Kelly up, but now I wa
nt to know what they're talking about. I just have to find the proper way to word it so it looks like I want to help and I’m not being nosey.

  "Is there something I can help with?"

  "No," Jared shouts at the same time Kelly whispers, "Yes."

  Kelly grabs her purse and Jared turns towards me, "We'll hang out tonight, I promise."

  It doesn't matter what I just witnessed in the kitchen because Jared wants to hang out, and earlier he said he wants more with me. That has to mean something, right? But what does he want from me? He might want to be friends with benefits, or a couple as long as I’m okay with him screwing women at work. Would I ever be okay with that?

  No, I wouldn't. I need to not get my hopes up because at the end of the day, I will never be okay with that kind of relationship.

  ★★★

  I realize after they left that Jared never gave me any instructions on what to do for the day. I'm caught up on everything, his office is clean and organized, his fan mail is all caught up, and I shopped for groceries the other day so we aren't in need of any food.

  I decide to sit in the living room and read. It's been a while since I've had a chance to read any of the new books on my e-reader, and one of my favorite authors just released the next book in her young adult series.

  I've only been reading for a few minutes when I hear someone walk through the front door. I look over at the digital clock on the display of the cable box and realize it's way too early for Jared or Kelly to be returning home. I set my e-reader down to see who's here.

  "Bonjour!" I hear a woman speak. "Jared, darling, are you here?"

  I walk into the entryway and see a woman standing next to a set of luggage. She's wearing a mink coat. Her dark hair is down and white sunglasses cover her eyes. Even in the outfit, and ridiculous accent, I'd recognize her anywhere.

  "Tawny?"

  She turns around and lowers her glasses before a giant grin spreads across her face. "Autumn!" She screams.

  She runs over to me and we embrace in a tight hug. We haven't been that close the past couple years, but I realize in this moment just how much I've missed her. Tawny pulls away from me slightly and holds my shoulders, looking me over to make sure I'm all there.

  "You look good."

  "You do, too, Tawny. Paris suits you."

  "Ah, yes, Paris. Beautiful city, but I missed home like crazy. What are you doing here?"

  "You did tell me I could come visit you whenever I wanted to."

  "Right, but I assumed I'd be here when you visited."

  "So did I."

  She gives me another quick hug and then takes off her mink coat, tossing it on top of her luggage. She peels off her heals and grabs me by the hand, dragging me to the living room. We sit down on the couch and turn our bodies so we're facing each other, and our knees are touching.

  "So really, how was Paris?"

  "Marvelous! The fashion is to die for and the people aren't as rude as we Americans think they are."

  "And your Italian boyfriend?"

  "Over. He was too old anyway, and after a while doing coke together was no longer sexy. I did enjoy spending his money though." She giggles as if thinking about a memory. "So, how long have you been here?"

  "Um... Almost two months."

  "Two Months! Why didn't Jared call me?"

  "I don't think he knew how to reach you."

  She rolls her eyes, "That may be true, but Jared always finds a way. I would have come home sooner if I knew you were here. I hope Jared didn't bore you too much."

  "You don't seem at all surprised that he let me stay here so long."

  She looks at me knowingly, "Honey, Jared knows who you are. If it were anyone else I'm sure he would have kicked his or her ass out, but not you. He's intrigued by you."

  "How do you know that? He didn’t even know who I was until I came walking in the door two months ago, and at first I though he was going to kick me out."

  I watch as Tawny tucks her feet underneath her butt to get more comfortable.

  "Autumn, he knew who you were. Jared and I have become friends the past two years. He's seen all my pictures and was immediately taken by you. I’ve never seen anything like it. He would ask me questions about you anytime I talked about my past. I would tell him how envious I was of you because you knew what you wanted in life. He was intrigued by your dedication to Brock and how you've been together for eight years, even though I told him Brock's a total ass." She looks over at me apologetically, "Sorry, but he is."

  "You don't have to apologize to me."

  "Anyway, there was something about you. I promise you, Chica, he knew exactly who you were when he saw you, and he'll probably do whatever he can to keep you here. He's a player and that will never change, but he's captivated by you."

  I smile at her and mimic her position, tucking my feet under my butt. "Well, when you witness our hostile relationship, you'll disagree. He did give me a job though."

  "You work for him?"

  "Yeah."

  "What about Brock?"

  "Brock and I are over. I caught him fucking Lexi Sanders a few days before my graduation."

  "Oh, honey," she comes in to give me another long hug. "I know you're upset, but that doesn’t mean you should do porn. You're better than that." I freeze at her words, and she moves to look at me.

  "I'm not doing porn, I'm Jared's assistant."

  "What happened to Kelly?"

  "She's still his assistant, too."

  She laughs uncontrollably, wrapping her hands around her stomach as she tries to control her laughter. "Oh, honey. Sure... Jared can't stand you, yet he invented a job for you just to get you to stay."

  I'm mildly offended at her insinuation. "He didn’t invent this job for me, he needs another assistant."

  "Oh yeah? And what are your assistant duties today?"

  "Well," shit. "He actually didn't assign me to do anything today so I'm taking the day to read on my e-reader. Usually, I'm really busy."

  "Sure you are," Tawny says knowingly. “Well, since you have nothing to do today, we can catch up."

  "That sounds perfect."

  ★★★

  Three hours, a pizza, and two margaritas later, we’re sitting on the couch and Tawny has pulled out my laptop. She's checking her emails, but when she realizes how many she has from not reading any for two months, she logs out and decides to read them later.

  "Tawny, can I ask you something?"

  "Sure."

  "How come you didn't tell me you were doing porn? I would have been supportive."

  She looks at me thoughtfully and reaches out her hand to pat me on the knee. "I know you would have. It's just that so many people had found out and most were unforgiving. Your sister knew and she was supportive, but I knew, I still knew deep down she probably looked at me differently. You're so pure, and genuine, and sweet... I didn’t want you looking at me that way. So I lied and said I was getting small parts in movies, instead of blowing guys and letting them fuck me in adult films."

  "Do you like it... I mean, are you happy?"

  "I wasn't at first, but Jared changed that. He showed me that as a female porn star, I held the power. I could control what I did and didn't do as long as I stayed clean, and I did for the most part. He also paid for my tits when I told him I wanted them done. I felt bad taking his money, but he told me it was an investment for him as long as I signed under his production company exclusively for a year. That was a no brainer, everyone knows Jared treats female porn stars like queens. He's a really good guy, Autumn."

  I think her words over in my head. She's right, and I know it. He has shown me so much kindness in the last two months and I know he treats everyone around him with the utmost respect.

  "I know," I whisper.

  "So, you two haven't..." she lets her words drift off.

  "Um..." I can feel my cheeks turn bright red and I look down to avoid her eyes.

  "O...M...G... you have! You dirty thing. Are you two toget
her?"

  "No, I would never be okay with having a boyfriend who is still sleeping with other women when he's with me. I like monogamy."

  "But you want him... and he wants you? No wonder Kelly called me and is a basket case over everything happening on set."

  Tawny mumbles the last part to herself, but I caught the entire thing.

  "What's happening on set?"

  "Oh, never mind. I'll fix that. I'll just need to talk to Jared and show him how good it can be."

  I'm lost at where she is going with this conversation. Show him how good what can be?

  "Have you watched any of his videos?"

  Jeez, am I ever going to loose the blush that has permanently taken over my cheeks? "Just a few," I whisper quietly.

  "Have you seen any of mine?"

  "No! That would be too weird."

  "No it wouldn't. Here, you can watch me with Jared."

  "I don't think that's such a good idea."

  I think watching him with another woman after everything we have gone through would probably make me want to vomit. Tawny looks at me with understanding, but she doesn't let it go.

  "I promise, it won't be so bad."

  She types in Jared's website and logs in. It takes her only a minute as she types in her name and eleven different videos come up with her and Jared.

  "You've slept with him eleven times?"

  "For work, yes. We also would fuck sometimes for fun, but it was more out of convenience. Neither of us have feelings for the other."

  I don't know how to take this new information. I've been pretty open minded in our non-existent relationship, but knowing he fucked Tawny is a little weird for me.

  "Don't make it weird," Tawny says from beside me, reading my mind. "Oh, this one is my favorite. It's Jared, Dorothy, and me. This was my bestseller, everyone loved it."

  Tawny clicks the play button on the screen and Brandon Boner Productions comes across the screen. I watch as the scene starts. The three of them walk into what's meant to be a ski lodge. The girls set down their skis. They're in bikinis, but have snowcaps on their heads to indicate how cold it is outside.