Dirty Money

by Michelle Love

  Steele didn’t say a word. After he took one more long drink she took the bottle from his hand and put it back in the fridge. “For God’s sake, it’s nine in the morning, Arsen.”

  As she sat back down he looked at her and ran his hand over her cheek. “You have no idea how much I missed you last night as I lay on the tiny, hard bed in the cell they put me in.”

  She took his hand in hers and held it to her face. “I missed you too. I hardly slept.”

  “Me too,” he said.

  “Tell me who the man is, Arsen.”

  His eyes went dark, and he pulled his hand from hers. “Drop it, Steele.”

  Her arms crossed in front of her and she frowned.

  “Damn it, Arsen! You’re always telling me I need to trust you, but you don’t trust me enough to let me in on anything.”

  “Maybe that’s because you’ve proven yourself untrustworthy.” He reached over and buckled her seatbelt. “Try to remember to buckle your safety belt, Steele.”

  “How in the world have I proven myself untrustworthy?”

  “I told you not to be alone with that prick and you did it anyway. I’m not an idiot. I know you thought Tanner would get there before they brought me in to talk to him. You sat there and listened to what the moron had to say. Your curiosity overrode your want to follow the rules I have for you.” His hand tapped her thigh, and the other took her chin and made her look up at him. “We’ll deal with that little indiscretion when we get home.”

  He could tell that she was fighting the urge to roll her eyes at him. And he had to give her credit for not doing it. His hand left her chin and cradled the back of her neck, pulling her to him.

  As mad as he was that she’d gone against him, he had missed her like he never imagined possible and needed to feel her. His body tingled as their lips met and he allowed himself to need her at that moment.

  She was so far under his skin that he had no choice it seemed. He loved her and he knew it. With his impending arrest and trials, he felt an urgency to have her in a contract with him. His intention was to draw one up and hopefully she’d decide to enter the contract with him. He needed some security with the woman in order to stay sane with all the craziness in his life.

  When he finally stopped his kiss and released her he pressed his forehead to hers.

  “I love you, Steele.”

  He saw her lips quirk into a smile.

  “I love you too, Arsen.”

  STEELE

  After showing Arsen the note and the rope which he seemed to have never seen either before, Steele was sure that he was innocent and being set up. They took both things and burned them in a small metal trash can. Then for good measure, threw the ashes into the garbage disposal and cleaned everything with bleach afterward.

  She was waiting for him in his bedroom as he had told her to go in there and wait for him. He had to punish her for breaking his rule about Rowan and she understood. She’d known the moment Rowan had walked into the room she should’ve went out and waited in the hallway.

  And for some damn reason, she wanted him to do it. Wanted him to discipline her for not doing what he told her to. Steele was a strong woman and had never felt she needed anyone telling her what to do.

  It wasn’t so much she thought she needed the discipline as she thought Arsen did. She felt if he felt she trusted him and would be submissive to him, he’d really let her in. Let her into his mind, his soul, and the past that made him the intricate, dark man he was.

  She sat on the bed and looked down as he came into the room. She was willing to take the pain his punishment would bring if it would somehow help her take the pain which filled him away.

  Arsen was nearly a part of her. She loved him more than she thought possible. When he told her he loved her, she knew she’d do anything for the man. Anything to help him get past the terrible things which were done to him.

  She was ready for whatever he was about to do to her. She’d read a little about what the punishments in the dom/sub relationship were about. She knew she was supposed to cry to shed tears. It would show him she understood what she’d done to displease him and that she was sorry.

  Then she was to thank him for what he’d done for her. She was prepared to do those things for him. To show him she was his and in the process if things went how she hoped they would, he’d become hers as well.

  It wasn’t her plan to remain in a dom/sub relationship. She knew to get to the place she wanted though she had to go that route.

  The sound of the leather belt sliding from his pants made her heart race. “Stand up!” She did as he said and continued to look down. “Turn around.”

  She turned and felt his hand at the small of her back. The zipper of her skirt he pulled down and pushed it off her hips. It puddled around her ankles and then her panties were ripped off.

  His hands grasped her shoulders, and he turned her around slowly. He ripped her shirt open, buttons flying in all directions. His arms went around her to unclasp her bra and he gently pulled it off her.

  He took a step back and sighed as she could tell he was looking at her naked body, but she didn’t dare look up at him. She stepped out of her heels as he took her by the arm and moved her towards the closet.

  He opened the door and said, “Raise your arms.”

  She did and felt something cold go around each wrist then the sound of metal clicking and she knew she was in handcuffs. He pulled her up until she was on her tippy toes. He looped the cuffs over some kind of hook at the top of the door. Her arms ached already.

  He stepped back and when he came back something went around her eyes, covering them with a soft material. Arsen leaned close to her. His breath hot against her ear and neck.

  “Do you trust me, Steele?”

  “I do, Arsen.” Her body was tense, and she was surprised to find she was aroused.

  His fingers trailed over her back, sending chills through her.

  “What was it you did that brought this punishment on?”

  “I broke your rule about being alone with Rowan.”

  The crack of the belt across her butt made her wince. It stung, but it wasn’t unbearable. Not yet anyway.

  “Why did you break my rule?”

  She had to swallow to make sure her voice was steady.

  “My stubborn curiosity.”

  Another loud crack and the belt bit into her flesh. She had to bite her lip not to scream.

  “Why do I make rules for you Steele?”

  “Because you care for me and want me to be safe and healthy.”

  The leather stung as it slammed across her ass. She couldn’t hold the tears back any longer and a sob came out of her involuntarily. His hand reached between her legs and one finger ran into her.

  “You reacted appropriately Steele and now you’ll be rewarded. Tell me our safe word.”

  She choked back her sobs. “Thank you, Arsen. Our safe word is Rose.”

  He pulled her long, dark hair back and kissed her neck. “That’s right, baby.”

  Arsen pulled her cuffed hands off the hook and led her to the bed. He bent her over the bed and she heard his zipper then felt his large cock press into her in one hard thrust.

  Each hard thrust sent waves of pleasure through her. His hand fisted in her hair and he pulled it hard. She panted with excitement and her body began to quiver.

  His voice was hard and demanding. “If you come without me telling you to, I’ll give you five more licks of the belt, Steele.”

  She didn’t want any more, so she held back. Her body was cresting, and it was growing more difficult to keep from letting go. Finally, she said, “Please, Arsen…” Her body was shaking from the need to release.

  He stopped and pulled out of her. Then she was picked up and laid out on the bed flat on her back. Her cuffed hands looped over something and then she felt something go around one ankle.

  It was cold and her leg was pulled and then it was obvious to her he had cuffed her leg to something tha
t held it in place. The same was done to the other, and she was helpless to move at all.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked her.

  “Yes, Arsen. I trust you.”

  The swoosh of fabric she heard and then she felt his bare skin on hers as he pushed into her again. The wave which had built up had dissipated, and she was no longer in danger of climaxing without his permission.

  With her sense of sight gone, she was able to concentrate on everything her body was feeling. The way his large cock was moving inside her felt amazing and his muscles rippled on his stomach, moving against hers.

  His breathing was a thing she found amazing. Hard, deep breaths which came from deep in his lungs moved hot air over her cheek and some of her shoulder.

  The way he smelled seeped into her senses. His expensive cologne, his sweat, and the unique smell of them together filled her nostrils and made her head feel slightly light. Intoxicating her with the aroma, distinctly them.

  His mouth took hers and his tongue moved to the back of her throat. Stroking against hers. It was all getting to be too much for her to handle and she began to feel the orgasm starting. In the position she was in she couldn’t stop it. It was impossible.

  His mouth on hers had it where she couldn’t even ask him. Her body climaxed and shook under his. He kept going though. He didn’t stop, didn’t quit kissing her.

  Instead she felt his hand move up her arm and take her hands from the thing he’d hooked them to. He pulled them to go around his neck. Stroking hard into her.

  He pulled his mouth away and kissed her neck then nipped at her earlobe.

  “I love you, baby. I’m sorry, baby. I only want to bring you pleasure and happiness.”

  Steele began to cry. She was beginning to get to him. For some reason, making him soften felt wrong. Like she was making him weak.

  She wanted in so bad, but to break him down wasn’t what she wanted. “Arsen, I love you.”

  His body stiffened, and he groaned as he came. It made her body climax again, and they both were breathing hard as she felt him trembling. She was breaking him and she couldn’t stand herself.

  This isn’t what I wanted!

  ARSEN

  As he un-cuffed her ankles one at a time, he couldn’t stop the ache in his heart. He’d hurt her and he was finding that act unforgiveable. He had no idea what was happening to him.

  She lay perfectly still, her eyes still covered. As he released her ankle he saw it was red from where she’d pulled at it. He ran his hand over it and flinched at the sharp pain which stabbed at his heart.

  This wasn’t a lifestyle she’d chosen. This wasn’t some fantasy of hers. She wasn’t the woman he was making her be. She cared for him – that was the only reason she even allowed him to do the things he did to her.

  He was a monster. The fucking kid had been right about him. He was so set in his ways though. Was it in him to change? To be what the gorgeous woman strapped to his bed deserved?

  He released the other ankle and then her wrists. When he pulled the blindfold away, he saw her red rimmed eyes and nearly lost it.

  “Steele, baby, please forgive me.” He took her in his arms and held her tight to him.

  Her head was on his shoulder and he felt the hot tears rolling over his skin. It was breaking his heart, and he had to swallow the knot down which had formed in his throat.

  He picked her up and took her to the shower. The warm water fell over them and he found she was still crying, not hard, but her tears were still flowing. “I’ve lost you, haven’t I?”

  She shook her head.

  “Far from it, Arsen.”

  He was confused and kissed her cheek.

  “So why the nonstop tears?”

  “Because you told me you’re sorry. I feel like I’m breaking something in you. The thing which makes you who you are.” She looked up at him and he wiped her tears.

  “You are changing me. Somehow, you’re so under my skin it feels like you’re a part of me. I brought you into a world you didn’t seek out. I feel now like I was wrong to force you to accept my lifestyle.”

  “You don’t want me anymore?” He saw fear in her blue eyes and it further hurt him.

  He kissed the tip of her nose.

  “Of course I do. Just maybe a little different though.”

  She shook her head.

  “I want you the same way you had the other women. Arsen, you’ll tire of me quickly if you can’t live the way you have since…” She stopped herself from saying anymore and he saw it.

  “Since what, Steele.” He looked at her and lifted her chin.

  “I snooped, I told you that. I didn’t tell you that I read your little journal thingy you have locked away in one of the cabinets in your office.” She bit her lip.

  Arsen was mad, furious even, but he’d already felt far too much guilt over spanking her. He wasn’t going to let his temper rule him.

  “I see, so you know about it all then?” His grip on her loosened some. His mind wandered to the past. A place he hated to go to. “You know I was a weakling and then a submissive myself.”

  “Yes, and Arsen, I don’t want you to feel weak again. I don’t want you to feel that way because of me.” She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.

  The fact was she’d already made him feel weak. His love for her made him weak. He wasn’t in control of himself that was for sure.

  “Are you saying you want to live my way so I can stay strong and in control?”

  She nodded, and it made him sick. This strong woman was willing to let herself be treated in a way which was beneath her for him and he was ashamed of himself. For the first time in a long time, he was not satisfied with the man he was.

  Her eyes met his.

  “I want you to make the dom/sub contract, Arsen. I’m ready and willing to live that way with you. I trust you.”

  “You aren’t ready and frankly, I doubt you’ll ever be.” Arsen let her go and poured shampoo in his hand and started washing his hair. His heart was pounding in his chest.

  The truth was he longed to take her to the BDSM club, Fierce. He knew all the men would be envious of his gorgeous find. He envisioned her on her hands and knees, his collar around her long and slender throat. His leash holding her, telling all the others in the club she was his, and he was her master.

  “Arsen, what’s wrong? Why do you think I’m not ready?” She moved to be in front of him. “You don’t want me like that?”

  “You have no idea of what you’re in for, Steele. Tell me, has it ever been a fantasy of yours to crawl around on your hands and knees at the end of a leash I’ll hold?” His eyebrows quirked up, and he grinned.

  “I could do it for you,” she said and ran her finger in the lines of his chiseled abs. “I could do anything for you, Arsen.”

  He rinsed his hair then took her hand from him.

  “This wouldn’t be allowed. You’d touch me only when I allowed. You’d be expected to do so much more as a sub. My subs catered to me. They washed my hair and trimmed my nails. They allowed me to take them whenever and where ever I wanted. That included in front of people.”

  He saw Steele take in a sharp breath. “Really? Where? Those clubs?”

  “Clubs, elevators, semi-secluded booths in restaurants. Where ever whenever. Think you could do that?” He smiled at her again and ran his hand over her shoulder.

  Steele wasn’t answering right away, and he laughed.

  “Like I said, it’s not a thing you’re ready for and may never be. It’s something I’m coming to terms with.”

  “You certainly have done a lot you in your life, haven’t you?” Steele asked as she shuddered.

  Arsen ran his hands up and down her arms.

  “I have. More than most and you’d be smart to run away from me, Steele. Not that I’ll let you, but it would be the smart thing for you to do.”

  “You choked those girls. Why’d they want you to do that? I actually have a fear of being c
hoked to death,” she said as he turned her around and started shampooing her long, dark hair.

  “Why’s that?” he asked as he massaged in the honeysuckle scented shampoo he’d picked up just for her.

  “A case I saw played out on television when I was fifteen. A girl came up missing and when they found her months later, they found out she’d been strangled. I looked it up and found it takes a good while for the lack of oxygen to make your brain stop working. The victim is aware they’re dying. It’s awful, so why would people want to be choked?” She looked up at him as he pushed her head back to rinse the shampoo out.

  “It’s because of exactly what you read about. They want to be brought just to the point of passing out, then once their throat is released the oxygen hits their brains rapidly and they have a euphoric experience. Add in an orgasm along with that and some people find it to be a phenomenal sensation.” He filled his palm with a honeysuckle scented conditioner and ran it through her hair.

  “Have you been on the receiving end of that, Arsen?” Her blue eyes were wide.

  Arsen thought it over before he spoke. He didn’t like to think about his time under Mistress Sinclair. It held too many bad memories. But Steele needed to know more about him. He couldn’t expect her to be what he needed in his life without letting her in on some of his past.

  He nodded.

  “Twice and I hated it both times. It wasn’t a pleasant experience for me. I was a young man, trying to impress my Dom. I should’ve used the safe word, but I refused to show my weakness and ended up passing out both times. I woke with a headache and an aching throat. On top of that, I was further disciplined for not using the safe word.”

  Steele ran her arms around Arsen and hugged him.

  “I don’t know what I’ll do if I ever meet that horrible bitch, Arsen.”

  “Not a damn thing, Steele. I won’t have you getting into any kind of altercation with her. She can take a fuck load of pain and you can’t. Believe me she knows so many ways to hurt you it’s not even funny.” He wrapped his arms around her and thought how good it felt to be talking to her about things.