The Vampire's Accidental Wife (Nocturne Falls Book 8)

by Kristen Painter

  If it wasn’t already. At least he had his amulet to protect him from the sun. What she could not understand, though, was how this hunter had bested him.

  She looked at her phone to check the time. Two more minutes before she had to turn back.

  If she was a vampire hunter, how would she subdue one? That was unfair, seeing as how Desi had intimate knowledge of her own kind that the hunter, in theory, wouldn’t have. She thought about the garlic and the crosses and the UV lights.

  The hunter had some myths right, but not all. What other myths and truths were there about vampires? And which one would the hunter think was the most effective in rendering a vampire powerless? Desi knew the hunter needed Julian alive for this video she planned to record, so whatever method the hunter chose, it had to keep Julian subdued, but conscious. At least to some extent.

  What could do that?

  Desi put those pieces together and gave her mind free rein to spin out the possibilities. There was only one thing she could come up with. The one thing every vampire she’d ever known stayed away from.

  Drugs. Not alcohol, which could be consumed in large amounts by the average vampire without much consequence (accidental marriages aside). But real, mind-altering, mood-changing, narcotic, opioid drugs. In the past, it had always been laudanum. The drug was part of every vampire hunter’s kit, and every vampire had heard the warnings.

  One of the stories told was about a hunter in Victorian times who’d repeatedly filled the veins of unwitting human victims with the drug, then left the victims to stagger the streets of London as bait. The hunter would follow with a watchful eye, waiting for a vampire to strike and the drug to render them weak. Whether or not the scheme worked, she had no real idea, but the hunter claimed to have sent the bolt of a crossbow into nearly a dozen vampire hearts through use of the method.

  Desi shuddered as she turned back toward the car. The night was as still as ever, and the only beating heart she could hear was Birdie’s. They were no closer to finding Julian. Unless the drug was a clue.

  But did laudanum even exist anymore? She supposed it could be manufactured. Or something similar. And if this woman hunter thought she came from the lineage of Van Helsing himself, maybe an out of date method was exactly the one she’d use. Especially one that came with successful hunting stories.

  Desi picked up her pace. In a few seconds, she found Birdie, who was still minutes from the car.

  Birdie’s eyes went gold and she snarled and bared her teeth as Desi skidded to a stop in front of her, then Birdie laughed and put her hand to her chest. “Oh my, you scared the daylights right out of me. Sorry about that little display. Hard not to react to years and years of instinct.”

  “No harm, no foul.” Then Desi nodded. “And that’s exactly what I was thinking. Years of instinct. We’ve got to get back to the car and the laptop. I have an idea.”

  “I’m all ears.”

  They jogged back, Desi explaining on the way. As soon as they were in the car, Birdie took over the laptop and started her search.

  A few minutes later, the typing stopped. “No need to look for a substitute. Laudanum is still available in the US, but it’s getting harder and harder to acquire because of some of its key ingredients.”

  “Well, it should be impossible to get. It’s a horrible drug.”

  “It is,” Birdie agreed. “It’s a mix of morphine, codeine, and opium. No one should be putting that into their bodies. The opium part is what’s making it scarce.”

  “Can you tell if Abigail Helsing has purchased any?”

  “I can.” The typing started up again. “Just as soon as I hack into her credit card account.”

  “How long is that going to take?”

  Birdie looked up and smiled, the light of the screen giving her a slightly malevolent glow. “I’m in.” She laughed. “I was in yesterday.”

  Desi let out a sigh of relief. Birdie was amazing.

  She bent her head again. “Okay, lemme search.” Her eyes narrowed in concentration. “Oh, this looks interesting. Brighton Pharmaceuticals.” She did a little more typing, then lifted her head again to look at Desi. “Abigail Helsing purchased three dozen vials of tincture of opium six weeks ago. We have our laudanum.”

  “Six weeks ago.” Desi’s gut twisted. “That’s around the time I got the first bouquet of black roses.”

  Birdie set the laptop onto the seat between them, then started the engine. “Buckle up.”

  Desi grabbed her seat belt. “Where are we going?”

  “To see a pharmacist I know.”

  Birdie took off faster than Desi thought she was capable of driving, and while she was driving, she dug her phone out of her purse and made a call. “Pete. It’s Birdie. I have an odd but serious request. Y’all have any laudanum at the pharmacy?”

  She looked over at Desi and winked. “Perfect. Can you meet me there in ten minutes?” She frowned. “Well, honey, I can’t help if you’re on a date, this is official police business. One of the Ellinghams is in trouble. No, it’s not for them. Just meet me there, or I will call your mother and tell her you obstructed a manhunt.”

  She grinned. “Good boy. See you in eight minutes.” She hung up and tossed the phone back into her purse.

  Desi felt sorry for Pete, but super happy that Birdie had the power to get things done. “What’s the plan?”

  Birdie kept her eyes on the road, but tapped the side of her nose. “We’re gonna track that little missy down, and if Julian’s not with her, we’re gonna scare some sense into her until she tells us. Now hang on. I told Pete eight minutes, but we’re eleven minutes out.”

  “You won’t get away with this,” Julian scowled at Abigail, but she was busy setting up a tripod and camera and not really paying attention. If only looks could truly kill, he’d be free.

  She sighed like she was bored. Or Julian was an idiot. “Yes, I will. You’re drugged, untraceable, and restrained. You might think you’re the top of the food chain, but that arrogance is about to be your downfall. Stupid bloodsucker.”

  “Someone will see my car.”

  “Not in the garage they won’t.”

  He mumbled a curse. The hunter was smarter than he’d imagined. “What are you trying to prove?”

  She glanced up, her face screwed into an are-you-an-idiot expression that confirmed Julian’s earlier guess. “That vampires exist. And are obviously not the superior creatures everyone thinks they are. Humans need to be warned about your kind. And shown that you bloodsuckers can be defeated.” She shook her head and went back to the electronics.

  “Wouldn’t you get more publicity by parading me around at all your vampire-hunter conventions?” He wasn’t sure those actually existed, but they had conventions for everything else, so why not?

  She was looking through the camera now, making small adjustments. “Oh, I will, but I’m going to use your girlfriend for that. You look too much like a stereotypical vampire. She’s much more interesting visually. But don’t worry, you’re still very important to me. You’re my money shot. My viral video. When that sun hits you and you go poof into a cloud of ash, that’s going to be gold right there.”

  So that was her plan. And why he was closer to the windows. Except when the sun came up, the light would stream through, hit him, and do nothing. He wondered how she’d react to that. Or if she had a backup plan. And how he could protect Desi.

  Abigail stood up and walked over to him. Close, but not too close. Her pulse increased a little too. For all her bravado, she was afraid. Good. He might be able to use that. “You are going to make me legitimate. The Helsing name will once again be synonymous with vampire hunter. I really should thank you for the power your death is going to bring me.”

  “You could let me go. That would be thanks enough.”

  “Yeah, not happening.”

  He shifted his gaze toward the ceiling, his brain still not cooperating as much as he would have liked. “You’re missing out.”

  She
laughed. “On what? Immortality? No, thanks, I’m not about to fall for that trick.”

  He frowned and looked at her again. “Not in a hundred years would I offer you the gift I’ve been given.”

  “Gift. Right,” she scoffed. “Like treating humans as cattle is such a noble and amazing way to live your life.”

  “We don’t treat humans like cattle. We don’t kill them either.”

  “We?” She came a little closer. “Just how many of you are there in this town?”

  Bloody hell. The damn drug was making him speak without thinking. He shut his mouth. He wasn’t getting anywhere anyway.

  She walked around to the other side of the plywood he was laid out on and checked the IV bag. “The laudanum makes you want to talk, doesn’t it?”

  It did. But he was nearly four hundred years old. Maybe a newly turned vamp would break under the drug’s press, but he was stronger than that. He hoped.

  She smiled that stupid smile again. “I’m close to getting your girlfriend, too, you know. It’s just a matter of time before I capture her too.”

  “I’m aware. We’ve known you were targeting her for a while.”

  “Well, goody for you. Fat lot of good it did you.” She leaned against the plywood near his feet, causing it to shift slightly.

  “You didn’t capture her.”

  “But I got you. And I’ll get her. Eventually. Once this video goes viral, I’ll have no shortage of help. That will make things much easier.”

  He grimaced. Bands of vampire hunters roaming the country would only lead to an all-out war. And humans would not end up on the winning side, regardless of Abigail’s small victory capturing him.

  But she apparently interpreted his grimace another way. “Unless you want to help me now.”

  “No idea what you’re talking about, but it doesn’t matter. I have no interest in helping you.”

  “Really? Not even if it meant I spared you?”

  He refused to take her bait.

  Didn’t stop her from talking. “Come on, I know you’re curious.” She leaned in a little. “I’ll give you a cell phone, you call her and tell her to meet you here and then she takes your place. Easy as pie.”

  His lip curled in disgust. The idea that he would trade Desi’s life for his own was ludicrous. He needed to keep the hunter’s focus on him. “I met your father once.”

  “What? When?”

  “Many, many years ago. In Brussels.” He picked his head up to see her better. She was listening with rapt attention, but the motion made the air swim. He put his head back down and continued with his story. “He followed me through the streets one evening. Tried to stake me. I had to physically persuade him of the error of his ways. I thought for sure that was the kind of story that would get passed on.”

  She leaned over Julian farther, her mouth bent in a sneer that caused the words to come out in a growl. “You. You’re the one.”

  “So he did tell you? And yet here you are, still following in his—”

  “I owe you.”

  “For what?”

  Her gaze hardened. “For what you did to my father.”

  Julian snorted. “You’re going to kill me over a beating? Let me remind you that he attacked me.”

  “A beating? Is that all you think it was? The man died trying to escape you. After he managed to take refuge in a church, he had a heart attack. The priests found him in the morning, dead at the foot of the altar.”

  Julian froze. That couldn’t be right. That wasn’t what Birdie had told him. “I thought Arnold Helsing died a few years ago.”

  “Arnold Helsing died thirty-six years ago. Two weeks before I was born. Arnold Helsing Jr., my step-brother, died three years ago. He spent his life trying to find out who was responsible for our father’s death. He’d managed to scrawl the word vampire on a piece of paper before he died, but that and his research was all we had to go on.”

  Bloody hell.

  Her ridiculous grin returned. “At last, his death will finally be avenged. Outstanding.”

  Her glee only riled his anger up. “Speaking of words on paper, you should leave a note with the name of your next of kin.”

  Her grin flattened. “Why?”

  “So the authorities know where to send your body.” He had no plans to kill her, but a few good threats couldn’t hurt.

  “You know what?” She leaned in as she took something from her pocket. “I don’t need you or your mouth awake until show time.” She pulled the cap off the syringe in her hand and jabbed it into his thigh.

  He opened his mouth to say something, but the fresh wave of laudanum took his words, and his consciousness, away.

  Birdie parked in the alley behind the pharmacy, making the whole thing feel like some super clandestine affair, which maybe it sort of was, considering they were here for a drug with such a shady reputation. Birdie turned the car off, then looked at Desi. “Pete’s a good guy, but very by the book and a little shy. Also, he’s fae. Just telling you so the ears don’t throw you.”

  “I can handle pointy ears. Hey, the guy can be a bridge troll for all I care. If he’s willing to help, I’m cool with him regardless.”

  “Good point.”

  They got out and went up to the steel back door. The alarm company sticker in the center of it was bright and shiny, like it was new. Or someone was cleaning it on a regular basis. Birdie knocked, and a few moments later, a handsome young man answered the door.

  Desi had expected to see him in a white lab coat, but he was in jeans and a button-down.

  He glanced past them into the alley like he was looking to see if anyone else was watching. Satisfied, he shifted his focus to them. “Hello, Birdie.”

  “Hi, Pete. Thanks for meeting us.”

  “You didn’t really give me an option.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at Desi. “Who’s your friend?”

  “I still really appreciate you doing this.” Birdie tipped her head toward Desi. “This is Desdemona. She’s Julian’s girl.”

  Apparently, Birdie’s brief explanation was enough. He nodded. “Come in.”

  The back of the pharmacy was a labyrinth of shelving, all stocked with bottles and boxes of medicines. One long section was secured behind a floor-to-ceiling gate. Were those the most expensive drugs? The most deadly? Both? She could only guess what that gate was securing.

  She looked around, but only about half the lights were turned on, filling the place with strange shadows. None of the lights were on in the front of the store, which added to the clandestine feeling.

  If Desi had been wearing a coat, she would have pulled it tighter around her.

  While she and Birdie stood there, Pete locked the back door behind them, then went to the gate. A different key from the same key ring went into that lock. “It’ll just take me a second. Can I ask why you need the laudanum? It’s not a very safe drug. Highly addictive. And very much out of fashion. We only have it in stock because, well, it’s Nocturne Falls and you just never know. There are a few supernaturals that are particularly vulnerable to it.”

  “So we understand. I just need to sniff it,” Birdie said. “There’s some in town and I’m going to try to track it down.”

  He glanced back at her, his wide blue-green gaze suddenly curious. “You can do that?”

  “Werewolves have a great sense of smell.”

  He smiled timidly, giving Desi the sense that he was a little afraid of Birdie. That seemed completely reasonable. The woman was a force of nature. “Of course.”

  He went back to unlocking the gate.

  “How’s that cutie from the Christmas shop?” Birdie asked. “You still sweet on her? Hey, is that who you were on the date with?”

  And just like that, the tips of his ears went bright red. Desi rolled her lips in to keep from laughing.

  “I, uh, yes, we are. I mean, I am. Still sweet on her. And yes, that’s where I was. Who I was with.” He gave the key a sharp turn and wrenched the gate open so hard it squeale
d a little. “I’ll just get that laudanum.”

  Desi nudged Birdie and gave a look to say she shouldn’t give the poor guy such a hard time. He was helping them, after all.

  Birdie grinned and shrugged, unrepentant.

  Pete came back out with a small brown bottle bearing several labels, most of which looked like warnings and precautions. He unscrewed the top and held it out to Birdie. “Here you go.”

  She leaned in, closed her eyes and inhaled. Then her nose wrinkled and she reared back. “Ew, that smells like boozy apple pie made with vomit custard.”

  Desi snorted. “You have such a way with words, Birdie.”

  Pete sighed. “It’s a tincture. It’s made with alcohol. That’s why it smells boozy. As for the rest…” He shrugged. “It’s very bitter. At least from what the research says. The Victorians used to add a lot of sugar to it.”

  Birdie waved her hand in front of her face. “Well, you can close it up. I’ve got the scent. No mistaking that one.”

  He screwed the top back on. “That all you need?”

  “Yep. Thanks a bundle. Go back to your date. Make sure you tell her it was official police business. She’ll forgive that.” Birdie turned and headed for the car without giving Pete a chance to say much else.

  Desi followed Birdie out to the parking lot. “What now?”

  Birdie pulled her keys out of her purse and tossed them to Desi. “Now you drive.”

  “But I don’t know the town.”

  Birdie shrugged and headed for the passenger’s side. “Doesn’t matter, we’re going to follow my nose. We’ll go back to driving a grid and just see if I can pick up anything that way. If, scratch that, when I do, we’ll follow it down.”

  A few minutes later, Desi was driving slightly under the speed limit through an unknown part of town and having a hard time believing they were ever going to find Julian. “You really think this is going to work?”

  “You bet your biscuits.” Birdie had the window down and was leaning out of it. The wind pushed her hair back and her eyes were squinted shut, but she leaned nose first into the air with great enthusiasm.