Wayward Hearts

by Susan Anne Mason

  Jason muttered an oath and dragged his hand over his jaw. “I didn’t want you to know about that right now.”

  “Too late. What investigation?”

  He looked down at his hands and then raised his head and sighed. “There’s a suspicion of arson.”

  Maxi gasped. Her fingers plucked at the ragged neckline of the hospital gown, suddenly too tight on her throat. “Arson? Who would want to burn down our barn?”

  “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”

  Her head swam as she tried to comprehend the significance of this new turn of events. Then her blood ran cold as a sudden thought occurred to her. “What happens to our insurance if they find out the fire was deliberate?”

  Her stomach sank when he didn’t reply. The sympathy in Jason’s blue eyes told her the answer. “They won’t pay us, will they?”

  “Probably not. Unless you can prove it wasn’t anyone connected with the property who might have a stake in it.” His gaze seemed to ask a question. “There wouldn’t be anyone like that, would there?”

  Irritation rose up in waves. “You don’t think I’d do something like that?”

  “No, not you. Or Aidan.” He paused. “I was thinking of Cal.”

  Anger lit a slow fuse inside her. Though she had issues with her oldest brother, it hurt that Jason would think him capable of such treachery. “I know my brother’s no saint, but Cal would never do this to us. What reason would he have?”

  Jason rose to pace the small space. “He’s always hated that farm. Maybe he was afraid you’d expect him to move back and take over.”

  She shook her head. “But Cal wasn’t even here. He took off right after the funeral.”

  “Who says he wasn’t hanging around waiting for the right opportunity?”

  Maxi pushed herself up in the bed and swung her legs over the side. “No. Cal would not set the place on fire knowing Mama and I were inside the house. I know my brother better than that.”

  “OK. OK. It was just a thought.” With firm hands, he guided her back into bed, arranging the pillows behind her into a more comfortable position.

  She scowled at him, pushing her lips together into a tight line to stop them from quivering. Tears brimmed, blurring her vision. She blinked hard to push them back. She would not break down in front of Jason. She needed time to think, to decide what to do next. Once she had a plan of action figured out, she’d start to feel steadier.

  “I have to go into town for a bit,” Jason said, straightening to his full height. “But I’ll be back later to pick you up.”

  She nodded, her arms crossed tightly around her torso as if to protect herself from any further emotional blows.

  Jason hesitated at the foot of her bed. “You want me to call your friend, Lance? Let him know about this.”

  “No.” The thought of Lance smothering her with concern made her claustrophobic. “No sense in worrying him. I’m fine.”

  “All right. It’s your call.” He stopped at the door. “Try not to worry, Max. Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

  ****

  At the Kingsville Fire Hall, Jason found Steve Hamilton in his office finishing a hamburger for his lunch. The smell of barbecue and bacon made Jason’s mouth water. His stomach growled, reminding him he hadn’t eaten all day.

  “Jason. You’re not on the roster today, are you?” Steve waved him inside and motioned to a spare chair.

  Jason perched on the edge of the seat. “No. I was visiting Maxi in the hospital and decided to drop by and see if the investigator turned up anything.”

  Steve’s weathered face seemed to close up. “You know I can’t discuss the details of the case with you. Especially since you’re a friend of the family.”

  Jason hadn’t really expected anything else. “Worth a try.”

  Steve chuckled. “Guess I can’t fault you there.” He threw a wrapper in the wastebasket. “I can tell you the investigator might be by later today with his findings. But I won’t be able to tell you anything more then, either.”

  “I understand. Sorry to bother you.” Jason stood to go.

  “Hang on a minute.” Steve sobered. “Rumor has it you want to lobby to open a fire station in Rainbow Falls.”

  Jason went still. He’d only told a handful of people about his dream, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for Steve to know about it just yet. “Where’d you hear that?”

  “Some of the boys talking around the station. Is it true?”

  “It’s an idea I’ve been kicking around. Once I become certified.”

  Steve took a sip of his coffee. “What about funding?”

  “I’m hoping there’ll be support for my idea from the city council. Maybe if the town holds a fundraiser, it would feel more like a community project.”

  “I like it. Why don’t you put the proposal in writing, and we’ll see what kind of backing we can get?”

  Jason’s eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?” He hadn’t dared hope the fire chief would support his idea.

  “Why not? I’ve always felt we could use a few more stations in the outlying towns. Might’ve been able to save that barn last night if we hadn’t been twenty minutes away.”

  Jason nodded, thinking grimly of another fire eight years ago with a much different outcome. One that still haunted him and Maxi to this day.

  8

  Maxi closed the door behind her as she left her mother’s hospital room. Mama’s coloring seemed better today, but the mild sedatives meant she slept a lot. Maxi didn’t have the heart to tell her about having to move in with the Hanleys. Time enough for her to find out later.

  Jason was waiting in her room when she got back. “You ready to get out of here?”

  “Yeah. I’m good to go. The release papers are at the front desk.” She’d already changed out of the hospital gown into the sweats and T-shirt she’d been wearing to bed the night before. They reeked of smoke, but it was the only thing she had.

  “You’re wearing that?”

  His disapproving tone inflamed her irritation. “Sorry if it offends you.” The thought of all her expensive clothes going up in smoke made her cringe. “If it’s OK, I want to stop at the farm before we go to your house. I have a few things in the dryer downstairs which should be salvageable. And I need my purse and cell phone.”

  His brows shot together. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Why don’t I drop you off first? Then I’ll get your things.”

  He was probably trying to protect her, but she didn’t want to be coddled. She needed to see for herself what shape the place was in. “I have to do this, Jason. Please.”

  A battle of emotions crossed his face before his shoulders slumped. “Fine. Let’s go.”

  She stopped at the nurses’ station to leave phone numbers where she could be reached in case her mother’s condition changed. A nurse arrived with a wheelchair. “Here you go, miss. Your friend can take you out in this.”

  Maxi stared at the chair and then back at the woman. They had to be joking. “I don’t need that. I’m perfectly capable of walking.”

  “Hospital policy, miss.”

  Jason stepped forward before she could say another word. “Just get in, Maxi. Do you have to argue about everything?”

  “I was thinking the same thing about you a few seconds ago,” she muttered, glaring at him.

  “I can always carry you out like a sack of potatoes.” He loomed over her, hands on his hips.

  The nurse smothered a grin, which irritated Maxi even more. She frowned, remembering another argument years ago in Peg’s shop when Jason did exactly that. To avoid a repeat of that particular humiliation, she plopped into the chair and let Jason wheel her out.

  Halfway into Rainbow Falls, Maxi’s disposition had not improved. What was the matter with her? She shouldn’t be squabbling with Jason. She should be figuring on a way to straighten out this mess her life had become.

  Tension cemented her shoulders as they neared the farm. It hit her then th
at her bad mood had more to do with the anxiety of seeing her home rather than anything Jason had said or done. Facing the results of the fire would surely trigger horrible memories that she’d repressed all these years. She straightened in her seat, straining to catch a glimpse of the house. Her heart wanted to jump out of her chest as she waited.

  Jason reached over to take her left hand. “Brace yourself. It’s pretty bad.”

  Worry didn’t stop her from appreciating the warmth of his hand covering hers. She swallowed, promising herself she could handle it.

  Jason slowed the truck as he turned onto the gravel side road and her home came into view.

  Maxi gripped the door handle as though anchoring herself to something real. Each bump in the road seemed to hammer home the horror of the situation. The dreaded barn, a symbol of all she’d hated growing up, had been destroyed. Half of one charred wall stood out from the pile of ashes. Her father’s thresher, or what was left of it, sat within the burnt area, a scarred skeleton of metal. Tightness seized her throat, making it hard for her already belabored lungs to take in air. She pulled her reluctant gaze over to the house and gasped at the gaping hole in the roof.

  Right over her bedroom. A shudder slid down her spine.

  When Jason let go of her hand to park the truck, Maxi pushed out the door before the engine even died. A compulsion to see the inside of the house forced her up the front steps. She took note of the boarded living room window before rushing inside where the overpowering stench of stale smoke hit her like a punch to the stomach. Despite her wheezing lungs, she half stumbled up the stairs to the second floor. Her eyes stung as the smell grew more acrid. The sound of Jason calling her barely registered. She plunged into her bedroom and skidded to a halt.

  “No.” Her hand flew to her mouth.

  Half the ceiling had collapsed onto her bed. Charred black walls gave a tomb-like quality to the formerly cheerful space. The window had melted into a large hole in the wall. Her gaze fell to the water-stained carpet under her sneakers. Amid the soot and ash, one corner of a photo stuck out. With a muffled cry, she pulled it free. Despite the film of black soot, she recognized her precious graduation photo. That picture had traveled everywhere with her since high school. It was nothing short of a miracle to find it amid the debris. As coughs racked her body, she pushed the treasure into the pocket of her sweat pants.

  With a hand over her nose and mouth, she backed out of the room, her chest heaving with the effort of breathing. She jerked as strong arms grabbed her from behind and half-carried her down the hall to the staircase.

  “I told you not to go in there.” Anger laced Jason’s words.

  He helped her down the stairs to the main floor where she staggered and would have fallen if Jason hadn’t been supporting her. She tried to take a deep breath, but the lingering smoke caused her to cough in rasping spasms. Jason pulled her into the kitchen, sat her in one of the chairs, and poured a glass of water. Gratefully she drained the cup. Too many emotions swirled inside for her to make sense of anything.

  Jason stood by the counter, his stiff posture evidence of his annoyance with her. “Where’s the stuff you wanted?”

  “The basement. In the dryer.”

  “You stay here. I’ll be back in a minute.”

  Maxi nodded and leaned her elbows on the table. A fine coating of black ash covered most surfaces. Once again the knowledge of how close she’d come to dying struck her. She clasped her trembling hands together in an effort to get control.

  Jason returned carrying a laundry basket full of rumpled clothing. “I brought everything I could find. Let’s go.”

  She stood on shaky legs. Her purse and cell phone sat on the end of the counter, and she grabbed them on her way out.

  The fresh air brought welcome relief to her labored lungs. She breathed in, willing them to feel normal again.

  Jason headed straight to the truck but instead of following him, Maxi found herself drawn to the burned-out barn. She walked across the field, mesmerized by the site of destruction. Had someone really caused this or had it been an accident? She hugged her arms to her torso. Even though the day was mild, a chill crept over her.

  As she turned, her gaze landed on the stump of the old elm tree. The only remaining evidence of the disaster that had occurred eight years ago. Maxi lurched forward and placed her hand on the trunk.

  Drew, I miss you so much.

  She fell to her knees, her forehead resting against the rough bark. Against her will, unbearable memories of that horrible night rose again to plague her. Memories of how she’d hurled up the driveway in her father’s old truck, so furious at Jason, and at herself for stooping so low as to spy on him, that at first she hadn’t noticed the red glow coming from Drew’s tree house. When it finally penetrated, she’d hit the brakes and screeched to a halt, gravel spewing from the tires. She barely remembered leaving the truck, running to the base of the elm tree, and shrieking Drew’s name. Though aware on some level the fire was too far gone, she whirled to get the hose from the barn. In a panic, she pulled and tugged as far as she could possibly stretch it, but it was no use.

  A movement above her had riveted her attention upward in time to see the body of her brother, engulfed in flames, stagger to the edge of the tree house. The sheer horror of the vision paralyzed Maxi, rooting her feet to the ground like the tree before her. A primal scream escaped as Drew teetered on the edge for what seemed like minutes and then dropped. The hideous thud of his body hitting the ground had jolted her into action. She raced toward him, ripping off her denim jacket as she ran. As soon as she reached him, she beat the flames from his body, but to no avail.

  Drew was already dead.

  She wasn’t sure how long she’d sat clutching his lifeless form to her chest, oblivious to the heat and smoke, and the lifelessness of her brother before Jason found her. He pried Drew away, and with infinite gentleness, covered his blistered face with a blanket. Her precious brother with the sandy blond hair and goofy grin was gone. Forever.

  “Oh, God. I can’t relive this again.”

  The sound of her own voice startled her, bringing her back to the present, to the feel of the cool grass beneath her face. She’d curled into a fetal position, rocking back and forth as she had on that horrifying night. Sobs tore through her, along with a tornado of emotions, the toxic mixture combining to choke the breath out of her.

  Her body suddenly seemed weightless, floating off the ground. Had God come to exact his punishment at long last? Maybe retribution wouldn’t be so bad after all, if it meant she’d be free of the torturing guilt.

  “You’re all right. I’m here with you.”

  Jason.

  Soft fabric brushed Maxi’s cheek. A steady heartbeat thumped under her ear. Warm breath moved in her hair. She clutched onto Jason as though he was the only thing keeping her from floating up to the heavens with Drew.

  “It wasn’t your fault. You hear me. It was an accident.” Jason’s fierce whisper penetrated her stupor as he released her to stand on her own two feet.

  Still, she couldn’t seem to stem the torrent of tears that besieged her. Eventually the cocooning warmth of Jason’s body seeped into her, and the shaking subsided.

  She lifted her head, the breeze chilling her wet face. “We both know it was my fault. I’d give anything to bring him back. To take his place.”

  “So would I.” His voice was gruff with emotion.

  She clung to him, allowing his hands to soothe the tension from her back muscles. Jason was the one person who understood what that night had done to her, the havoc it had wreaked on her relationship with her family and on the rest of her life. Through it all, Jason had never condemned her for her foolhardy actions—never once told her how stupid she’d been. He’d remained her staunchest defender.

  He pulled her closer as if their bones could melt together, offering her his solace and strength. On an inhale, she became acutely conscious of that strength, the band of steel his muscled arms f
ormed around her. His lips in her hair, whispering words of comfort.

  In that moment of awareness, something changed between them. Jason’s lips moved to her cheek, then slowly downward, inch by silky inch, until they neared her mouth.

  Her breath tangled in her lungs. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before he touched his lips gently to hers, as if experimenting to see how she’d react. Her body began to hum, like a thread of electricity moved through her. She strained to press her mouth more firmly to his.

  Somewhere through the haze of grief, passion sparked. Reaching up, she entwined her arms around his neck, plunging her fingers into the thick mass of his hair. She kissed him back with a fervor long held in check—years of repressed longing bubbling forth. His hands moved up her back. She thought she heard him groan, and then, as quickly as it had started, he pulled his mouth away.

  She stared at him, dazed. His eyes appeared black, the pupils almost fully dilated.

  He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I’m glad you did,” she whispered. She wanted to tell him how long she’d dreamed of his kiss, imagined the feel of his arms around her. The words hovered on her lips, but she hesitated.

  His eyes burned with untold emotion. He raised one finger and brushed the remaining moisture from her cheek. “Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

  When he pulled his body away from hers, the cool air whooshed in to form a barrier between them. She trembled for a moment, wishing they could stay locked together forever.

  What a crazy, impossible thought.

  When she didn’t move, he took her by the hand and led her back to the truck.

  With the warmth of Jason’s kiss still on her lips, Maxi knew with absolute certainty her world would never be the same again.

  9

  Shep danced circles around her as soon as Maxi stepped into the Hanleys’ living room. His tail waved madly back and forth as he jumped, trying to lick her face. Instead, she bent to hug his neck.

  “Hey, buddy. I’m glad you’re OK.”