Bearing it for the Outlaw

by Jenika Snow

  Even in the last few months she’d been in Steel Corner she’d filled out more, and she felt confident with how she looked, and how her life had been going now. The cold was dissipating, the flowers were coming into bloom, and the sun was giving off more heat. She felt good, alive, and was thankful that she was here to experience it all, even for as little as it might be.

  She headed out of the bathroom, grabbed her purse on the small two-person dining room table she owned, and headed toward her front door. The one bedroom apartment she rented wasn’t in the best part of town, but it was cheap, kept her safe from the elements, and she hoped she’d be able to make it more of a home. As it was she was living sparsely, having only her suitcase filled with her clothes, and the few items she’d purchased from Goodwill to fill her place. Her phone vibrated, and she pulled the pay-per-use cell she’d bought at the local drug mart out of her pocket.

  Tawny: You can still pick me up at the clubhouse?

  She hit reply.

  Yeah. I’m leaving now.

  Over the last few months of working at the bar she’d become close with Tawny. The woman was a little younger than she was and certainly didn’t know about her past, but they’d connected on a level. It was nice to have someone that wanted to talk to her, hang out on occasion, and not expect anything in return. They weren’t best friends or anything, but they were friends. And Allie hadn’t had one of those—not a genuine, real friend—in a very long time. It was nice, really nice actually, and she liked where her life was now.

  She left the house, headed the twenty minutes it took to get to The Grizzly MC clubhouse, and stopped at the front gates that refused entry to anyone not welcome from driving up to the main part of their hangout. Although calling it a hangout, like it was some kind of hobby for these guys, was a gross understatement of what they really stood for. In the last few months she’d come to learn how deadly, frightening, and powerful The Grizzly MC was. The original members might not run the club so much anymore, but their sons did, and God were they some of the biggest, strongest men she’d ever seen. She lifted her hand to the club member at the front gates, and tightened her fingers around the wheel.

  He was big as well, and when he moved closer she felt her heart rate pick up. She’d been to the clubhouse before, mainly to pick up Tawny, or drop something off that had been at the bar, but she still felt so uneasy. Not only were they bikers, but they were bear shifters as well. The combination was fierce.

  He leaned his big hands on the window frame, and smiled. She couldn’t remember his name, it thought it was Wood, or Stiff, or something that had everything to do with his nether regions.

  “Here to pick up Tawny?” he asked in a deep voice.

  She nodded. “Yeah.” God, she felt so nervous whenever she came here, but she knew the men that wore their Grizzly MC leather vests, or cuts as they called them, wouldn’t hurt her. Maybe it was her past, the life she had chosen to lead, that made her so unstable around shit like this?

  “You’re Allie, right?”

  She nodded, not sure why the way he stared at her made her feel like he wanted more than to just small talk. “And you’re…” She didn’t want to offend him and say his name wrong, but she also felt a little weird calling him Wood, or Stiff, or Bulge … whatever in the hell his nickname was.

  “Woods,” he grinned, flashing her a smile, as if he wanted to be provocative with telling her his name. “You know how I got that name?” He lifted a dark eyebrow. He was an attractive man, hard looking, like he didn’t give a fuck that he had grease smeared on his cheeks, or that he hadn’t shaved in a few days. His dark hair was on the longer side, brushing his chin.

  She opened her mouth, not sure what to say or if she would have said anything at all.

  “Let her in, Woods.” The sound of a deep, hard, and kind of pissed off voice came through. She looked forward, saw Drevin making his way closer to the gates, a rag in his hand as he cleaned off the oil from his fingers, and his intense look focused right on Woods.

  “Gonna make me fucking say it again?” Drevin said, seeming even more annoyed.

  Woods may be a patched in member, with the Grizzly logo inked into his body like she’d seen on the other Grizzly members, but she knew enough from listening to Tawny that an original member, like Drevin, outranked the newbies. Woods backed up, stared at Drevin for a second, and when he pulled open the gates he didn’t even glance her way. Allie drove her POS car into the main parking lot at The Grizzly clubhouse, parked beside the row of Harleys, and cut the engine.

  She should just wait in the car, intended to do that, too, but when she felt the presence beside her, saw the imposing shadow across her dashboard, she knew that probably wouldn’t be happening. She looked out her driver’s side window, saw only the large, wide chest that Drevin sported, and licked her lips. Her window was still down, and the scent of the cologne he wore, mixed with the strong aroma of grease, filled her nose. He leaned down so he could see her, and she stared into his brown eyes.

  His short blond hair was kind of messy around his head, and dirt covered his hard, square jaw. He looked like a badass just standing there, watching her, as if he knew everything there was to know about who and what she was. He wore a dirty t-shirt, with some holes and grease stains on it, but it was his bulging biceps, his thick, vein-roped forearms, and the tattoos that covered every available inch of his flesh that drew her attention.

  “If you’re here for Tawny she’s talking to her old man. You can wait inside, but I think one of the guys is getting a lap dance. If that’s not your thing you might want to stay out here.”

  She nodded, not able to find her voice. He was so gorgeous, not in a beautiful or handsome way, but in a brutal, non-forgiving manner. It was like he held this attitude around him that he genuinely didn’t give two shits about what anyone thought about him.

  He stared at her for a few more seconds, didn’t speak again, but for some reason she felt like he wanted to say more. Then he just straightened, stared at her for another second, and rubbed his hand over his jaw.

  “Listen, about last week…” He dropped his hand to his side, and the way he looked at her told her enough. He regretted almost losing it, yet she didn’t know the cause or why of it, or why he felt he needed to bring it up. She was no one, just a woman that ran from her past and was trying to make a clean, healthy start elsewhere.

  “I’m sorry about almost losing my shit that night.” His brown eyes were piercing, penetrating as he stared at her. “It wasn’t right to let you see me like that.”

  “It’s okay.” Her voice was soft, but she meant it.

  Drevin nodded, glanced at Woods again, and then he just turned and left, like he didn’t want to stand there anymore, and walked back toward the garage. Whatever connection they had was severed right then, but she still felt this pulsating aliveness deep within her, and she didn’t want to let that go.

  Chapter Three

  Allie stared at Drevin as he went into the garage. God, what was it about that man that made her feel like a twisted mess inside? If he knew the kind of life she’d led for far too long he’d probably stay away from her. Most people, when they knew someone was a recovering addict, didn’t see them as “normal”. These men might do illegal things, dangerous actions, and create fear in everyone around them, but they were also hard workers. She’d seen as much in these several months of being in Steel Corner. They had a strong family tie together, and it didn’t matter if they weren’t all blood related. They took care of what was theirs.

  She watched as he went into the opened garage, and started working on the bike that was in pieces on the ground. Her cell vibrated, and she saw it was a text from Tawny.

  Tawny: I’ll be out in like 10. Sorry, my dad’s showing me some errors in the supply form that was sent to us. You can come in if you want.

  She stared at the phone, and glanced up at Drevin again when she was finished reading the text once more.

  Take your time. I’m just
going to be waiting out here.

  After setting her phone in her purse she climbed out of the car and headed toward the garage. Honestly, she didn’t know what she was doing, didn’t know why she was being so bold and going to talk to Drevin. In the time she’d been in Steel Corner they hadn’t said more than a few words to each other, despite the fact she knew he watched her. The music coming from the garage became louder the closer she got. She saw Drevin hunched over what looked like an engine, his back muscles clenched and defined through his t-shirt as he used a wrench. The way his muscles bunched with each twist of his arm had this tingling sensation moving through her body.

  She stopped at the entrance to the garage, watched as he worked for a few moments, and felt like a creep for not saying anything as she stared at him.

  “You normally stare at people and not say anything?” he said, but there was this definite teasing note in his voice. He set the tool down and turned to face her. When he stood to his full, intimidating six and a half foot height she took a step back. She wasn’t afraid of this man, and on the contrary she was aroused. Never had Allie been instantly attracted to someone, not like she was with this bear biker she didn’t even really know.

  He smiled at her, all grease covered, scruffy, but looking really good. His straight white teeth came in view when he grinned, and she swore she saw a flash of canines. They hinted at his bear genetics, slightly pointed, and making something deep inside of her clench with desire. Could he smell the effect he had on her? There were a lot of scents going on in this garage, even ones her human senses could pick up, but that didn’t mean anything when compared to what a shifter could sense.

  “I’m Allie … from the bar.” Although she was pretty sure he knew who she was, at least by face. “I just thought I’d come and say hi, seeing as I’ve seen you at the bar a lot, but we’ve never really spoken.” She was nervous, and started moving on her feet a little. He picked up on the act, clearly, by the way he glanced down, smiled wider, and then lifted his gaze back to hers.

  “Hi.”

  For as gruff as he was, right now he seemed gentler, softer even, and she wondered if he was acting that way because he sensed she was a little nervous right now.

  “I’ve noticed you working with Tawny.” He grabbed a rag and cleaned his hands off again.

  Allie felt even weirder after he spoke, and just as she opened her mouth, maybe to excuse herself, he started speaking again.

  “I’ve been watching you, actually.”

  That had everything in her stilling.

  “Sounds fucking weird when I say it out loud.” His voice was deep, gruff, and sounded a little animalistic.

  She started laughing, not able to help herself, and liked that she felt this lightness inside of her. It had been a long time since she’d felt that kind of amusement. Fixing her sleeves to make sure they were over the crook of her arm, Allie struggled with what to say. It had been over a year now since she’d left Tray and everything bad he represented, and she wanted to be able to enjoy life and not worry about what someone thought about her past. But the fact remained she was afraid, even if she tried to put on a harder exterior, shielding herself from the world around her.

  She’d never been one to be vulnerable or let others see the weaker side of her, but all of that had changed when she’d let Tray sweet-talk her, and she’d let her guard down, trusting him. Allie shouldn’t have been able to trust for a long time, but she was growing stronger, and wanted to. God, she wanted to just throw everything aside and let Drevin know she wanted to explore these feelings with him.

  “No, it isn’t weird. In fact, I knew you’d been watching me because I’d been watching you.” She felt good being honest, and saw the way his chest rose and fell when he inhaled and exhaled.

  “Yeah?” he said, but she had a feeling that he knew well enough she’d watched him, too.

  Allie felt a little childish in thinking that they’d been watching each other, yet hadn’t said anything to the other. But the truth was she hadn’t planned on starting anything with a man when she moved to Steel Corner. She also didn’t know what Drevin’s story was since she’d only known of him for the last several months. He was older, much older than her twenty-eight years. Heck, he was probably close to her father’s age, and he was in his fifties. But despite his older age, Drevin was good looking, and toned in all the right places. Aside from a little greying in his blond hair at his temples, and slight creases in the corners of his eyes when he smiled, the man was a walking god.

  “Yeah.” She felt herself blush, felt her damn cheeks heat with her embarrassment because she was admitting to this man she’d rarely spoken to that she watched him as much as he watched her. Never had Allie been so risqué in her desires. Before she’d gotten clean she’d been at Tray’s beck and call, doing what he said when he said. She’d done many things that disgusted her, humiliated her, and made her feel like shit on the bottom of a boot. “I just—”

  “Hey, girl,” Tawny said from behind her. Allie looked over her shoulder to see the other woman smiling at her and adjusting her bag on her shoulder. She stared at Allie and then glanced at Drevin, before returning her gaze back to Allie. “I interrupt anything?” Tawny said, smiling, and then lifting an eyebrow.

  “Ugh, no, no everything is okay.” Allie felt her palms start to sweat, felt her heart race, and she didn’t know why she felt like she was about to freak. Maybe because Tawny is looking at you and Drevin like you’ve just been caught screwing on his workbench?

  Tawny’s cell rang, and she got it out of her bag. When she saw who called her face lit up, and Allie knew it had to be Dakota. “I’ll be right back,” Tawny said, and answered her phone. “Dakota.” The way the other woman said her boyfriend’s name was filled with longing, heat and desire, and had Allie feeling even more heated. She wanted that with someone, wanted to be able to answer the phone, excited to hear from the guy she loved. She’d thought she had that once, but God had she been wrong.

  She turned around when Tawny was a few feet from them, about to say bye because she felt like a fool now, but when she faced Drevin he was grinning at her.

  “Come here, Allie.” He said it in a deep, commanding tone, and she felt herself move closer, as if her feet had a mind of their own.

  She watched as he reached for something on his workbench and grabbed a grease-splattered piece of paper and a pen. Whatever he wrote down took only a few seconds, and then he circled her wrist with one of his big hands, pulled her the few inches closer to make her chest almost brush his, and slipped the paper in her hand. She stared down at it, saw his number scribbled in a masculine scrawl on the slip, and when she looked at him again he had an intense expression on his face.

  “You call me when you’re ready to take this further. I’m not the type of male to push a female when I know she’s hesitant.” He curled the corner of his mouth up slightly. “But I can smell that you’d like more, and I do, too.” He let go of her, and she took a step back, as if involuntarily. “I normally don’t have patience, Allie. I take what I want when I want it. But you hold the cards now.”

  How in the hell had it come to this? It was like one minute she was watching him at the bar, and the next she was standing here talking to him, knowing that this man wanted more with her. She heard Tawny come closer, and before she said something that would make her look stupid, Allie turned and headed to her car. Right before she got in she stared at Drevin again, could see him partially in the garage, but the shadows concealed his face. But that didn’t matter because she knew he was watching her. She felt it all the way in her body.

  ****

  Drevin stared at Allie and finally turned away when her car was off club property. He scrubbed a hand over his face again, knew he needed a shower to not only clean off the sweat and grease from his body, but also to calm the fuck down. Yeah, he needed an ice cold shower, because his cock was hard, his libido raging, and his animal pacing under his skin. He needed to jerk off, especially a
s he pictured Allie’s round, big and juicy ass right behind her long skirt. He could picture a lot of lewd and obscene things right now, mainly consisting of him ripping the clothes off of her, spreading her ass wide, and eating out her pussy.

  “Shit,” he muttered under his breath, turned around, and adjusted his dick.

  “You got it bad, man.”

  Drevin turned around to see Gabriel, Marcus, Jakob, and Bodhi behind him. Gabriel had been the one to speak, and although Gabriel and Marcus were part of the Brothers of Menace crew, they had been tight with the Grizzlies since they were born. It was decades that the Grizzlies and Brothers had known each other, and because of that they all considered each other family.

  Drevin let a low growl leave him, and said to Gabriel, “Fuck off, and the four of you go play with your dicks someplace else.”

  They all started laughing, which only had Drevin more annoyed.

  “Chill, man. We just came to pick up some shit, make a beer run, and then we were heading out for the night to party,” Bodhi said, and grinned.

  “Yeah, straight up partying, pussy, and getting drunk. You’re single. Wanna hang?” Jakob said, and nudged his brother in the ribs. Jakob and Bodhi were Diesel’s two sons, who got into a lot of shit and usually caused trouble.

  “You guys are way too fucking young for me to go partying with.” That was true in a sense. They were only in their early and mid-twenties, whereas Drevin was in his fifties. He partied, fucked when he needed, but that hardcore loose lifestyle was more behind him now than it had ever been. It had been like that, and he’d felt like that since he saw Allie. Hell, he hadn’t even fucked any women since she came rolling into town.

  “Well, your choice, man.” Marcus was the one to speak, and Drevin glanced at the Brothers of Menace boy. Marcus was a big motherfucker, but he was also Kink’s kid, and the Brothers member was one of the larger males in the club. At twenty-four Marcus was as wild as any of the others, and had a bad boy streak that rivaled The Grizzlies. The five thick black tattooed bands on his right forearm stood out against his tanned flesh and the white of his t-shirt. His cut showed he was a patched in member with the brothers, and a loyal, bad and dangerous one at that, even for his age. On his inner left forearm showed the motto that the younger generation of the Brothers of Menace had inked into their bodies: Ride Free, Stay Loyal, Fuck Hard. A Brother for Life. Marcus grinned, pulled the toothpick out of his mouth, and flicked it aside. He lifted his arm and hit the top of the garage doors on his way out, and the flash of the twin flaming skulls tattooed on either side of his abs came into view. The four men left, and Drevin watched them climb on their Harleys, and head off of the Grizzlies’ property. Yeah, he’d been just as wild as they were, maybe even more so, and as much as he liked getting down and dirty when the time called for it, anymore he wasn’t in the mindset.