Love or Duty

by Rosie Harris

  It wasn’t until they had all been served and Mary had finally left the room that her father dropped his bombshell by asking her why she had been visiting St Saviour’s Remand Home earlier in the day.

  ‘Don’t say you weren’t there because Arnold was driving past and saw you knocking on the door,’ he told her curtly when she searched for an answer.

  ‘I went over there to visit Kelly,’ Penny confessed, the colour rushing to her cheeks.

  ‘After we had both forbidden you to do so,’ her mother said in a hurt voice.

  ‘Mother, I’m an adult, you can’t dictate what I do. You can’t run my life for me.’

  ‘You are certainly not acting in a grown-up way,’ her father stated angrily. ‘You had a chance to forget all about that child and her family, put it all behind you, and what do you do? You go and visit her. What on earth for? She’s being taken care of by people who know how to handle that sort of child, so why can’t you leave well alone?’

  Penny laid down her knife and fork, ready to launch into details of what Kelly had to endure at St Saviour’s, then thought better of it. Her parents wouldn’t believe her even if she told them. They would probably say that the strict routine was good for Kelly. They didn’t seem to think that she had the same sort of feelings as they did.

  The problem about Kelly remained uppermost in her mind and she remained silent for the rest of dinner. Her only hope now, she reasoned, was to persuade Bryn Cash to help her. As a doctor, surely he would understand the effect being in a place like that would have on Kelly.

  ‘There’s no point in sitting there sulking simply because you can’t have your own way,’ her father told her as they finished their meal and he stood up to leave the dining room. ‘You are not to bring that child back into this house ever again. Is that understood?’

  Penny remained silent, biting down on her lower lip to keep her anger under control.

  ‘Your father means it, Penny, and I am in full agreement with his decision,’ Mrs Forshaw stated the moment the door closed behind her husband. ‘You should never have got involved in the first place; it has upset us all, especially dear Arnold. Your father will never forgive you for breaking off your engagement and ruining all the wonderful plans he had for your future together,’ she added with a deep sigh.

  Penny’s thoughts were in turmoil as she went up to her bedroom. She knew she was disappointing her family by not marrying Arnold, but since he had agreed with them and not with her when it came to caring for Kelly after the accident she felt no remorse.

  It had opened her eyes to the type of man Arnold was. She was positive that he had only wanted to marry her because it would prove financially beneficial to him in the future. She felt that he was far more in love with himself and his career prospects than he was with her and as far as she was concerned he had proved to be selfish and mercenary. In some ways it was a relief to have found this out and to realize that she didn’t love him before they were irrevocably bound together in marriage.

  Unfortunately it left only one person she could now turn to, and that was Bryn Cash. They had become firm friends and she trusted him and his judgement.

  Her feelings for Bryn, she reflected, were not simply admiration and gratitude for his support but something much deeper and more meaningful. She sometimes wondered if perhaps she was falling in love with him and hoped that one day he would reciprocate her deeper feelings. As yet, however, although he was now taking her out on a regular basis, she was sure he only thought of her as a good friend.

  Once again, she decided, she was going to have to appeal to him to help her to do something about Kelly’s future. She wasn’t at all sure what that was to be. The only solution she could reach was that since her parents would not entertain the idea of having Kelly living there then she must do the same as she had done before. She would have to find a teaching job and somewhere to live so that she could make a home for Kelly. Since she wanted to be able to keep in touch with Bryn then it would have to be in Liverpool.

  Now that she had been living back at home for so long the thought of giving up the comfort and luxury that surrounded her and going back to Ma Reilly’s seemed grim. Even so, she resolved, if that was what it took then that was what she would do.

  Her mother would be distraught when she said she was leaving home again but she had no one to blame except herself. If Mother had sided with her and told Father that she didn’t mind Kelly living here with them then Penny was quite sure it would have been possible to persuade him to reconsider his harsh decision.

  Now, everything rested on what Bryn thought of her idea and how much support he would be prepared to give her.

  * * *

  Bryn listened attentively, his square, good-looking face inscrutable, as Penny outlined her idea of moving back to live at Ma Reilly’s in Liverpool so that she could look after Kelly.

  ‘It won’t be easy, you know,’ he warned. ‘Apart from all the home comforts you will be giving up you will have to find a job so that you can support yourself and Kelly.’

  ‘I know, that’s why I thought that the first step was to talk it through with you. If you think it is a feasible idea then I’ll see if Father O’Flynn can arrange for me to go back to teaching at his school and then I will go and see Ma Reilly to find out if she has a room that I can rent.’

  ‘That’s the easy part. What is a much greater milestone is persuading the authorities to release Kelly from St Saviour’s.’

  ‘Surely if I offer to be responsible for her and I am earning my own living and can provide somewhere for her to live there will be no problem,’ Penny countered with a frown.

  ‘The case will probably have to go before a magistrate before a decision can be made,’ Bryn explained.

  ‘Really!’ Penny’s blue eyes opened wide in surprise. ‘Even if I am offering to be responsible for her and prove that I can give her a secure home environment?’

  ‘Oh yes. What’s more, you will not only have to have the court’s permission but in all probability Mrs Murphy will have to agree to the arrangement as well.’

  ‘I’m sure she won’t object,’ Penny said dryly. ‘In fact she will probably be relieved that she doesn’t have to worry about Kelly any more.’

  ‘Don’t be too sure. Kelly is coming up to an age where she can be a great help around the home and in next to no time she will be old enough to go out and earn some money.’

  ‘Or beg for it, or steal it,’ Penny said bitterly. ‘I want to show her a very different way of life than that. I can take her right away from Liverpool if you think that might be a better idea.’

  ‘I’m not sure she would settle or be happy if you did that,’ Bryn mused.

  ‘So I have to make sure that Father O’Flynn says I can have my teaching job back, and that Ma Reilly lets me have my room back and also agrees to keep an eye on Kelly if she comes home from school before me. If I do all that then do you think the court will agree to releasing her?’ Penny repeated, listing them off on her fingers.

  ‘It might be worth a try.’

  ‘You’ll speak up for me in court and say that I am a suitable person to be responsible for taking care of Kelly?’

  He gave her a warm smile. ‘Yes, of course! You know I will do that.’

  ‘What if they won’t believe you?’ she asked, doubt creeping into her voice.

  ‘I’m sure they will, but if they don’t then we’ll worry about that when the time comes,’ Bryn told her.

  ‘In that case then let’s get things moving,’ Penny urged him. ‘I know that Kelly is extremely unhappy and the sooner I can get her out of St Saviour’s the better.’

  It was almost six weeks before everything was in place. Father O’Flynn had promised her a teaching post at the start of the new term in September and after a great deal of persuasion Mrs Murphy had eventually agreed that she was willing for Kelly to live with Penny and that she would stand up in court and say so if she was asked to do so.

  Mrs Murphy had be
en the most difficult and it had taken quite a lot of persuasion. As Bryn had foreseen, she kept reminding them that Kelly was now old enough to be of considerable help to her and that by rights she should be back home where she belonged.

  ‘You know they will never allow Kelly to come back here to live after what happened,’ Penny reminded her, ‘and she is extremely unhappy in St Saviour’s.’

  ‘Well, so she might be, but she can’t get into any mischief while she’s in there. If she’s living with you then there’s no knowing what she might get up to.’

  ‘Kelly didn’t get into any trouble when I was looking after her before,’ Penny pointed out, ‘so why on earth should she do so now?’

  ‘No, but she was in a pushchair then for most of the time,’ Ellen Murphy retorted as she shifted the baby from one arm to the other.

  Eventually, with Bryn’s intervention, Ellen Murphy reluctantly agreed that Kelly could live with Penny provided she was allowed to come home and look after her younger brother and sisters from time to time if ever she needed her to do so.

  * * *

  Penny shivered as she went into the courtroom. She found the formal atmosphere and the high-backed polished wooden seating rather overwhelming. She thought how frightening it would have been for Kelly and she felt relieved that she had not been expected to attend today.

  When her name was called, Penny managed to make her statement about why she thought it would be beneficial for Kelly to be in her care rather than in St Saviour’s Home in a clear firm voice. She also dealt with the many questions that were fired at her as to where she would be living and how she would support herself and Kelly in a confident manner.

  She was trembling when she finished speaking and was relieved to be able to sit down again on the hard bench seat because her knees felt so weak.

  It was then Bryn Cash’s turn and although he gave Penny a glowing character reference the magistrate still seemed to be unconvinced.

  ‘I feel it will be very difficult for a single woman to support herself and a child. In addition there is Kelly’s reputation to be taken into account. It would seem that this particular child must have far stricter supervision than an ordinary child would need.’

  As Bryn sat down there was a long silence in the courtroom as the magistrate consulted the papers in front of him and then conferred with a colleague.

  Sensing that he was on the verge of refusing to release Kelly from St Saviour’s Bryn Cash rose to his feet again. ‘I would like to offer a further extenuating reason before you make your final decision.’

  There was a silence as if the magistrate wasn’t sure whether to allow this or not. Eventually he said very firmly, ‘No, Dr Cash, I doubt whether anything further you might wish to say will make any difference. I have decided to adjourn this case for further consideration.’

  Outside the courtroom Bryn and Penny looked at each other in dismay.

  ‘How long will that take?’ Penny asked. ‘It’s July now. The new school term starts in September. If I’m not going to be able to look after Kelly then there is no point in my coming over here to live.’

  ‘Yes, I suppose that’s true,’ Bryn agreed. ‘I was looking forward to you moving to Liverpool, though,’ he added with a wry smile.

  ‘If I decide I’m not coming then I will have to let Father O’Flynn know so that he can find someone else for the teaching post he has offered me.’

  ‘Don’t be too hasty,’ Bryn warned. ‘It’s not all over yet, they haven’t settled anything. They are still considering the situation, remember.’

  Penny shook her head, ‘I know that, but I don’t feel too optimistic about what the outcome will be.’

  ‘Look—’ Bryn took her hand ‘—I’ve taken the rest of the day off, so why don’t we go and have a meal. It will give us the chance to talk things over and see if we can think of anything else we can do. There must be some way we can persuade them to let you take care of Kelly.’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Penny and Bryn sat in the restaurant until it was on the point of closing. They talked over the predicament they found themselves in over Kelly’s future and tried to find a solution.

  She thought how different he was from Arnold. Arnold would merely have shrugged dismissively and said it was up to her what she did or else to forget all about it.

  ‘Perhaps my father was right and I should never have interfered in the first place,’ Penny sighed as they made ready to leave the restaurant. She stood up and slipped her arms into the light linen jacket that Bryn was holding for her, and then picked up her handbag from the table.

  ‘Now I will probably be in trouble again for staying out so late,’ she sighed as they went out into the street.

  ‘Then why not stay at my place. I have a spare bedroom and you can telephone home to let your family know that you won’t be back there until morning.’

  Penny hesitated for a brief moment, then shook her head. ‘I think that might make matters worse, especially if they ever found out where I stayed. No, I’ll go home and face the music.’

  ‘Then in that case I will take you there,’ Bryn told her.

  It was almost midnight when they reached Penny’s home in Penkett Road.

  ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make enquiries to see if there is any other way of getting Kelly released from St Saviour’s,’ Bryn promised as he put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a reassuring hug.

  She opened the front door as quietly as she possibly could and crept inside. Her heart beat faster as she saw that a glimmer of light showed from the drawing room. Removing her shoes she padded in her stockinged feet towards the stairs but her arrival had already been heard and before she could reach them her father was in the hallway.

  ‘Where the devil do you think you have been until this time of night?’ he demanded. ‘Don’t bother lying because I can guess; you’ve been with that doctor fellow. I suppose you were too ashamed to come home after what you did today.’

  Penny looked at him in bewilderment. ‘What I did today?’ she asked in a puzzled voice.

  ‘I don’t suppose you thought I would find out. You seem to forget that as a magistrate my name and address are well known in legal circles and when you appeared as a witness in a case that was being heard the clerk took the trouble to inform me of the fact,’ he told her pompously.

  The colour drained from Penny’s face and there was a hard knot of anger in her throat. ‘So that was why the case was adjourned,’ she said bitterly. ‘You had him pass on a message to the presiding magistrate.’

  Captain Forshaw didn’t answer.

  ‘That was an evil thing to do,’ Penny told him in a strident voice.

  Her father held open the drawing-room door. ‘You’d better come in here if you are going to yell at me like a fishwife; I don’t want your mother disturbed. She is dreadfully upset that all this worry concerning this wretched child has come up again. We thought it had all been taken care of when she was put into a remand home.’

  ‘I’ll go up and talk to Mother,’ Penny said, moving towards the door.

  ‘No, stay here and leave well alone,’ Captain Forshaw said curtly. ‘I said I would wait up until you came home. I persuaded her to take some sleeping tablets and go on up to bed and I trust she is now sound asleep and settled for the night.’

  ‘So now I suppose you are going to lecture me about Kelly,’ Penny said wearily.

  ‘I most certainly am,’ Captain Forshaw scowled, his face growing florid. ‘Why are you ruining your own prospects in this way, Penny? I am in the process of persuading Miss Grimshaw to give you back your job in September…’

  ‘That wasn’t necessary,’ Penny interrupted. ‘I already have a job to go to in September.’

  ‘Where?’ her father demanded. ‘You’re not thinking of going back to that Catholic school in the Liverpool slums, I hope.’

  ‘Yes, I am.’ Penny squared her shoulders. ‘Father O’Flynn has offered me a teaching post starting in September.’ />
  ‘Then you can ring him up in the morning and tell him you won’t be accepting it. You will be going back to Miss Grimshaw’s school.’

  Penny squared her shoulders defiantly, her blue eyes flashing. ‘That very much depends on whether you and Mother will be prepared to have Kelly living here with us and also arrange for her to attend Miss Grimshaw’s school,’ she told him.

  ‘Don’t talk nonsense! I have said we are not prepared to have anything further to do with that child and I mean it. Anyway, there is no question at all of her being released from St Saviour’s Remand Home.’

  ‘She would have been released into my care today if you hadn’t interfered,’ Penny said bitterly.

  ‘Stop being so insolent and talking such nonsense, Penny,’ Captain Forshaw said angrily, his florid face becoming even redder. ‘You don’t expect me to stand by and do nothing while you continue to ruin your future just because you have some stupid idea about saving this child.’

  ‘I am not trying to save her; I merely want to try to give her a better chance in life.’

  ‘She’s the produce of the slum that she’s been born into and that has been proved. The moment she was out of your influence she was in trouble with the police.’

  ‘Maybe, but it was not of her own volition. It was her older brother’s influence over her that caused the trouble,’ Penny defended.

  ‘Leave her where she is. The nuns may manage to straighten her out in the remand home; something you will never be able to do.’

  As Penny was about to reply he held up his hand to silence her. ‘No more; this discussion is at an end. Go to bed, Penny, and resolve to make a new start tomorrow and let all of us put this sordid matter behind us.’

  * * *

  Penny couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned going over and over in her mind all that had taken place in the courtroom and since.

  She kept thinking of how dreadfully disappointed Kelly would be when she was told that her hopes and dreams had been shattered and that she was not going to be released from St Saviour’s.