Love or Duty

by Rosie Harris

  In the afternoon Penny took Kelly to the park at Harrison Drive, which was at the other end of the promenade from New Brighton. It was more than a mile away from Bilkie’s Circus so there was no fear of Kelly hearing the strident music blaring out from the sideshows to remind her of what had happened so recently.

  As they walked home she felt at peace with the world. Kelly was holding her hand and enjoying an ice-cream cornet. As she listened to her happily chattering away Penny thought how wonderful it would be if Kelly was permanently in her care and they could always be like this.

  She had grown so attached to Kelly that she couldn’t bear to think of being parted from her; certainly not if Kelly had to return to St Saviour’s. She was quite prepared to make any sacrifice necessary in order to take care of her and to see her grow up happy.

  * * *

  After they’d finished their evening meal with her parents and Kelly was tucked up in bed, Bryn suggested going for a walk.

  ‘Now, what exactly did you mean by what you said in court?’ Penny asked tentatively when they reached New Brighton and headed for the promenade.

  Bryn frowned and looked away, pretending not to know what she was talking about.

  ‘Why did you make such a statement?’ Penny asked bluntly, the colour rising in her cheeks as she ignored his attempt to draw her attention to a huge liner on the other side of the Mersey that was being manoeuvred into position in front of the Liver Building by three small tugboats.

  ‘I did get carried away,’ Bryn admitted ruefully. ‘All I could think about was how desperately you wanted to prevent Kelly having to go back to St Saviour’s. I was pretty sure that the one thing that stood in the way of that happening was the magistrate thinking that as a single woman you wouldn’t be capable of looking after her properly on your own.’

  ‘I see.’ She felt her emotions churning, knowing that she had desperately been hoping that he had meant what he’d told the magistrate.

  ‘Well, what you said certainly made him think again,’ she admitted dryly, conscious of the tension between them. ‘If they check up on your statement though and find that it’s not true then they are bound to take Kelly away immediately, and that will be a terrible blow for her.’

  Bryn hesitated, then guided her towards one of the shelters on the promenade that were strategically placed there to shield people from the keen wind coming off the river. ‘They don’t have to find out that I was wrong, do they?’ he asked as he turned her round to face him, his gaze searching her face.

  Penny felt her heart flip. ‘I… I don’t know what you mean,’ she stuttered.

  ‘Oh yes you do,’ he murmured softly. He pulled her closer and looked into her eyes.

  Penny’s heart thundered. She knew Bryn had told her he loved her and she had dreamed of the day when he would ask her to marry him so that they could spend the rest of their lives together. Now that it was happening she wasn’t sure whether he really meant he loved her or whether he was offering to marry her because he knew how much she cared about Kelly.

  As his mouth came down and covered hers in a hard demanding kiss all her doubts vanished. As she surrendered willingly to his kiss and felt the pressure of his body against hers and his arms tightening around her she gave a deep sigh of happiness.

  ‘I’ve been wanting to do this again for a very long time,’ he told her softly.

  ‘So have I,’ she whispered back.

  ‘What? Wanting to kiss me or waiting for me to kiss you?’ he teased.

  ‘Both!’

  They laughed, but when he released her from his arms within seconds Penny felt anxious again, and still needed to be convinced even though it took her every vestige of strength to ask him.

  ‘If you really are quite sure that it is what you want to do and that you are not marrying me simply for Kelly’s benefit,’ she said hesitantly. Even as the words left her lips common sense told her that even if Bryn was doing it for Kelly’s sake then it was because he knew how much Kelly meant to her.

  Bryn pulled her back into his arms and as his lips once again claimed hers, Penny didn’t need any more words to confirm his feelings.

  ‘I think we’d better go and tell your parents our good news before someone else does,’ Bryn said when they finally managed to pull apart.

  ‘You mean you are going to formally ask my father for my hand in marriage?’ Penny giggled.

  Bryn took her into his arms once more and kissed her again.

  ‘No, not exactly, because if I do that he may refuse,’ he said in a serious voice. ‘I think it might be better if I tell him outright that we are planning to get married and hope he approves and is in agreement.’

  ‘What if he forbids it?’

  ‘We’ll still go ahead and get married because I have no intention of letting you escape, not now that I am sure you feel the same way about me as I do about you. Anyway,’ he added as she reached up and kissed him on the cheek, ‘it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve gone against his wishes now, would it?’

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Captain Forshaw didn’t raise any objection at all when they told him and Mrs Forshaw their news. Indeed, he seemed almost relieved to hear that Bryn and Penny were to be married.

  ‘Let’s hope this means that Penny will settle down now and put all thoughts of getting custody of Kelly Murphy right out of her head,’ he stated, his voice full of relief.

  Mrs Forshaw’s hand flew to her mouth in a gesture of alarm. She seemed to be about to speak but hesitated as if she was unable to find the right words. Then the expression on her face changed to one of relief and her hand dropped to her side as she heard Bryn say, ‘On the contrary, we are hoping that it will mean we can have custody of Kelly; in fact, we are hoping that in due course we will be allowed to adopt her.’

  ‘Surely you don’t intend to take a step as serious as that,’ Captain Forshaw said in a bemused voice.

  ‘Oh yes we do. It was as a result of telling the magistrate this morning that once we were married we intended to offer Kelly a safe and secure permanent home with us that he decided to reconsider the case. Now we are hoping it will mean that Kelly will be released into our care immediately and that she will not have to go back to St Saviour’s again.’

  Captain Forshaw frowned. ‘I’m not quite clear; surely providing her with a home will have to wait until after you are married; how else will you take care of her?’

  ‘Penny promised at the hearing that she and Kelly would remain here with you until we are married. If you don’t approve of that,’ Bryn hurried on as he saw Captain Forshaw was about to interrupt, ‘then they can come across to Liverpool and live with me again like they’ve been doing.’

  ‘No, no; that would be most improper. Penny certainly can’t move in with you permanently until after you are married,’ Mrs Forshaw gasped.

  ‘Then unless she stays here she has no alternative but to go back to the room at Mrs Reilly’s that she had before,’ Bryn stated. ‘It worked out quite well the last time. Father O’Flynn has already promised Penny that she can have her teaching job back again and I’m sure that Mrs Reilly will agree to look after Kelly when she comes home from school until Penny finishes work.’

  ‘No, I absolutely forbid it,’ Captain Forshaw blustered, angry colour rushing to his cheeks. ‘This is Penny’s home, so of course she must remain here until you are married.’

  ‘And what about Kelly?’

  ‘We want Kelly to stay here as well, isn’t that right Marcus?’ Leonora stated firmly.

  Penny held her breath waiting for her father’s reply. She knew they had already told the magistrate that this was where she and Kelly would be living and she knew that to some extent the decision to let them have custody of Kelly depended on it. She also knew that it was more than likely that her father would be asked to confirm that they were living with him at Penkett Road.

  ‘Yes dear, you are quite right, Kelly will have to live here as well,’ Captain Forshaw confirmed,
directing a look at his wife, who was nodding enthusiastically in agreement.

  Before Penny could recover from her feeling of relief Bryn had held out his hand to Captain Forshaw to seal the agreement. ‘That is most magnanimous of you, sir,’ he said gravely. ‘I can assure you they will only be staying with you for a very short while until we are established in our own home.’

  ‘There is no hurry, no hurry at all,’ Captain Forshaw told him pompously as they shook hands.

  ‘We thought a very quiet wedding at a register office with you and Mrs Forshaw as our witnesses.’

  ‘Good heavens no; that will never do!’ Marcus Forshaw said firmly. ‘I want my daughter to have a traditional white wedding; a grand occasion, not some hole in the wall affair.’

  ‘I was hoping that we could be married before the new school term starts in September,’ Penny murmured.

  ‘No, my dears, that’s not possible; the new term is only a week away. Surely you realize that a wedding of this magnitude takes months to organize,’ Leonora Forshaw intervened.

  ‘Furthermore, you haven’t decided where you are going to live now have you?’ Captain Forshaw pointed out.

  ‘I thought we could live at my flat,’ Bryn said tentatively.

  ‘No, no. My daughter needs a proper home, and I most certainly don’t want her living in the Scotland Road area of Liverpool ever again!’

  ‘I see.’ Bryn felt slightly crestfallen. He certainly hadn’t thought things through, he thought ruefully. Apart from where they would live he had never for one moment considered having a full-scale white wedding. He looked across at Penny, hoping for guidance.

  ‘If a white wedding and all the trimmings is in accordance with Penny’s wishes then I am happy to go along with it,’ he conceded.

  ‘Good! In that case all we need to confer with you two about is the date and then if you let us have a list of your personal guests, Bryn, you can leave the rest of the arrangements entirely to us,’ Captain Forshaw stated in a firm voice that brooked no argument.

  ‘Yes, we will arrange absolutely everything down to the last detail,’ Leonora beamed. She looked so delighted by the idea of organizing all the wedding arrangements that Penny hid her disappointment that she wasn’t going to be able to do things as she wanted them and hugged her mother and followed Bryn’s example of thanking them both profusely.

  Afterwards though, both she and Bryn agreed that they would have preferred a quiet affair with only their immediate family present.

  ‘It’s not to be so I think the best thing we can do is go along with what your parents want and just be thankful that they haven’t put up any objections to us getting married,’ Bryn said resignedly.

  ‘How could they possibly object to you,’ Penny quipped, her eyes shining with love.

  ‘Quite easily,’ Bryn told her somberly. ‘I’m only a doctor working in a hospital, I live in a rented flat in one of the worst areas of Liverpool and I have no real prospects.’

  * * *

  Penny was so elated by the thought of marrying Bryn, so bursting with happiness about what the future would bring, that for several days she didn’t notice how very subdued Kelly was when she was told about the wedding.

  When she found Kelly curled up in a ball in one of the armchairs, her body shaking with convulsive sobs, she was concerned.

  ‘What’s the matter? Don’t you feel very well?’ She gathered Kelly into her arms and rocked back and forwards. ‘Come on darling, tell me what is wrong; have you got a pain?’

  It was several minutes before Kelly could control her sobbing and breathing enough to speak coherently.

  ‘It’s about the wedding. What’s going to happen to me when you get married?’ she asked in a shaky voice as soon as she could speak. ‘Will I have to go back to St Saviour’s?’

  ‘No, of course you won’t have to go back there. You will be living with us,’ Penny promised, pushing Kelly’s hair back from her tear-stained face and kissing her on the brow and then hugging her even closer.

  Kelly pulled away and stared up at her wide-eyed and bewildered. ‘Do you mean I can stay with you for ever and ever and ever?’ she asked cautiously.

  ‘Yes, for as long as you want to do so, and that is for ever and ever if you wish.’

  ‘You mean I won’t have to go back to live with me ma ever again?’

  ‘Well,’ Penny hesitated, ‘we’ll have to think about that. Surely you will want to see her and your dad and your brothers and sisters?’

  Kelly shook her head. ‘Not really. I’d sooner live with you.’

  ‘Surely you’d like to be able to go and visit them from time to time?’ Penny persisted.

  ‘Maybe.’ Kelly shrugged her shoulders. ‘P’raps. Not to live with them again, though.’

  Once she was convinced that Penny had meant it when she had said she could go on living with her, even after she and Bryn were married, Kelly’s spirits bubbled up and she began to take a lively interest in all that was going on. She was especially excited when Penny told her that after the wedding they hoped to have a house quite close to Penkett Road.

  ‘Does that mean we can come to see your mam and dad whenever we want to?’ she asked, her eyes shining.

  ‘That’s right. When you are a little older you will be able to visit them on your own,’ Penny promised.

  ‘I’ll be eight soon, so that’s old enough to go out on my own, isn’t it?’

  ‘Probably. Wait until we find a house and then we will see if it’s possible. It really depends on how busy the roads are between our new house and here.’

  ‘You mean you don’t want someone else knocking me down,’ Kelly responded with a cheeky grin.

  From then on Kelly listened avidly to all the talk about the forthcoming wedding. Her excitement doubled when Penny told her that she was to be a bridesmaid and she immediately ran to see if Mrs Forshaw knew about this.

  Kelly held her breath as Leonora confirmed that this was true and that Kelly would be wearing a specially pretty dress for the occasion and would carry a posy of flowers.

  Kelly was silent for a moment as if unable to believe what she’d been told, then she began dancing round the room chanting in a sing-song voice, ‘I’m going to be a bridesmaid, a bridesmaid,’ until they were all putting their hands over their ears and telling her to stop.

  Although she stopped her chanting, Kelly was eager to know more about the wedding and bombarded Leonora with questions. Most of them were about the dress she was to wear and what it would be like.

  Her exuberance diminished slightly, however, when Captain Forshaw told her that he had arranged for her to attend the private school where Penny was once again going to be a teacher. She thanked him politely but as soon as she was alone with Penny she burst into tears.

  ‘Whatever is wrong, you will love it there,’ Penny assured her.

  ‘I won’t, I hate going to school. At St Saviour’s I was always bullied by the bigger girls when we were in the classroom and the nuns were always punishing me because I made mistakes and didn’t do my lessons right,’ Kelly sobbed.

  ‘This will be different, I promise you,’ Penny assured her. ‘Look, we’ll be there next week and when you meet them all you’ll soon see that what I am telling you is right. You will find the teachers are all kind and understanding and the girls very friendly.’

  ‘They weren’t friendly when you took me there before,’ Kelly reminded her. ‘It was because they pushed me over in the playground that I broke my arm.’

  ‘It really will be different this time, I promise,’ Penny assured her.

  ‘I won’t be able to do the lessons. I couldn’t do them at St Saviour’s,’ Kelly said in a sulky voice.

  ‘Yes you will, I’ll make sure about that, so don’t worry about it any more. As soon as I find out which class you are going to be in and what the lessons will be like then I will coach you here at home.’

  When Bryn asked Penny to fix the date for their wedding, Penny was so conce
rned about Kelly that she insisted that their wedding must wait until Kelly had settled down at school.

  ‘Until I am sure that she is settled and happy at school I simply can’t put my mind to the preparations for our wedding,’ she explained.

  ‘How long is that going to take?’ Bryn asked, his voice full of disappointment.

  ‘At least a term, and that takes us up to Christmas,’ Penny sighed. She laid a hand on his arm. ‘I do wish we could have done as you suggested and had a quiet wedding at a register office. The trouble is both my parents seem to be setting such a great store by us having a big wedding that I can’t bear to disappoint them.’

  ‘In that case it means it had better be a spring wedding,’ Bryn mused. ‘I’m not sure I can wait that long,’ he added with a mock groan. ‘Shall we say it will be on April the first?’

  ‘No, that might be tempting fate too much,’ Penny said, laughing. ‘We’ll make it as early in April as possible, but certainly not the first.’

  Although Bryn had agreed to the delay, her mother was not so easily mollified. She was already busy with preparations for the great day.

  ‘We must decide on what Kelly is to wear,’ she persisted. ‘She’s such a dainty little thing. She will look lovely in the dress I am planning to have made for her but obviously I need your approval before I go ahead.’

  ‘Leave it for a while; at the moment I want Kelly to be able to devote all her energies to her school work,’ Penny insisted.

  ‘Oh, very well,’ her mother sighed. ‘You can still start planning where you will live. It will probably take several months for all the legal details to be settled and you haven’t even looked at any houses yet.’

  ‘I’m leaving the house-hunting to Bryn.’

  ‘That’s fine, of course, but you must at least have a look at it before he buys it and make sure it is the sort of house you want.’

  ‘Your mother is quite right, and you need to make sure that it has a garden for Kelly to play out in and also a garage for your car.’

  ‘My car!’ Penny looked bemused. She hadn’t driven since the accident when she’d knocked Kelly down.