Too Fast For Hope

by Adair Rymer

  Sharp ridges of pain amplified in waves as his jaw quivered with refrain. At any moment I feared he'd lose himself and draw blood. Remy's capacity for sex and violence was incalculable. Every beating moment near him deepened my depths of depravity. Freeing me from my conservative New Hampshire roots. Freeing me from everything. Everything but him.

  I felt his cock spring to life after the remainder of his clothes tumbled down the back of my legs. I couldn't keep my hips from bucking toward him. He rubbed his cock between my thighs, over my soaked lips, toying with me.

  Then I felt him, all of him. Every glorious, thick, throbbing inch of him. It was always so much deeper from behind. It felt like his cock went on forever, pushing me apart. Soon, even that wasn't enough for him. He needed more. I was jerked away from the car just enough for Remy to slide a hand over my sensitive, wet pussy.

  With two fingers, he split my lips even further. Just enough to rub circles with over my clit with his finger. Lightning sparked through me. Between that and the quickening thrusts, I came again. All my oxygen escaped me with a rush. The aftershocks rattled me, I screamed out, demanding more. I wanted all of it.

  The manly mixed scent of his sweat and dirt was intoxicating, it lingered in my nose and on my licked lips. His iron grip wore white marks into my hips. The blazing metal hood would abruptly catch a virgin patch of my tender flesh, momentarily lighting it on fire. His unyielding skin covered piston, pumped into me, through me. Pain, ecstasy, discomfort, joy. It was shattering. It was heaven.

  I almost cried when he pulled out. His cum blasted the sidewall and wheel well of the borrowed church station wagon. I had to grab the metal lip between the windshield and hood to keep from limply sliding off the car. He fell on top of me, his forearms landing heavily on the hot sheet metal. If it burned him, he didn't show it. He probably didn't care if it did.

  It was easily several minutes before either of us had the strength to move. Remy opened the rear passenger door and we both tumbled into the backseat. We hadn't bothered dressing so we hit the leather interior as one big, filthy, mass of happy, wet flesh.

  “Oh God, we're disgusting,” I groaned, peeling parts of myself off of him to adjust into a better position. “I kinda feel really terrible about that considering where we are.”

  “Yeah, it's best you don't think about all the Sunday school kids that get carted around in this thing every week,” Remy replied casually.

  “You're horrible!” We both laughed.

  “Seriously though, remind me to clean this before we return it to Father Jameson.” Even Remy felt a little guilty about it.

  We both looked out the open door and took in the beautiful, if a little empty, landscape. We were completely alone out here. It was perfect.

  After a little while, some questions that I’d tried burying seeped to the surface of my mind. I didn't know if we'd have another safe moment like this so despite probably killing the mood I mustered the courage to finally ask him.

  “Who was Maria?” The question sounded meeker than I would've wanted but at least I finally got the words out.

  “My ex-wife. She was killed a lifetime ago,” Remy answered after a long pause. I almost thought I woke him up. Once he started talking I knew it was because he needed some time to figure out how to answer such a big question.

  “What happened?” I was determined to get the full story out of him, however painful it might be. I felt like I needed to know about this woman if she mattered so much to Remy.

  “Wrong place, wrong time...” Remy's words trailed off as he was drowned in memory. There was another long pause. I was just about to prod him about it when he continued on his own.

  “I was arguing a lot with Top back then about how some of the new prospects were getting their patches. Unvouched for guys brought in directly by Deadeye without a vote. Which was a huge no-no for us, even with Deadeye's bullshit reasons. Top didn't care all that much because it wasn't happening in our chapter, and everyone else was willing to let it slide. Deadeye was going soft.

  “It started with his kid, Rio, who just wasn't club material, despite his zealotry. The kid was just a fucking monster. Well, you know. A few of Rio's friends got in that way too, then some others like Lorenzo. Before anyone realized, the scum in the Steel Veins mother chapter had begun steering us in a different direction. We didn't start off as One-Percenters but that's where we were headed.”

  “What's that mean? One-Percenter? Is that more of an outlaw gang thing?” There was still so much terminology I needed to learn.

  “Kinda. Technically, it just means they're not registered with the the AMA or CMA, the American or Canadian Motorcycling Association. If you wear the diamond One Percent patch, you just hold yourself to a tougher standard. Usually, racist and sexist, they're harder guys that do nastier shit. Stuff I never originally signed up for.

  “Anyway, we were hosting a couple new members from Deadeye's chapter who were on their way back to Norman after a charity ride. Charity rides were the easiest ways to move drugs or guns across state lines. Apparently they were dealing for some quick cash in the wrong turf. Stupid. They should've known better. Lobos tailed them to Leslie. That night they did a drive by in front of a downtown bar. Marie was leaving work to meet me when... she was caught in the cross fire. Dead before she hit the ground.”

  “Holy shit, that's awful. I'm so sorry.” I knew it couldn’t have ended well but I didn't realize Remy saw it all happen.

  “Ancient history,” Remy swallowed hard, trying to push all the memories away

  “Being in the Lobos clubhouse must've been really hard for you.” I twisted to face him and wrapped my arms around him.

  “No. It was a Veins bullet that killed her.” Remy struggled to keep the venom from his tone. This was an old hurt. One, I’m sure, he wished stayed buried.

  “What?” I was genuinely surprised. I didn't think they could kill their own, or the wife of their own.

  “She worked across the street at a bakery.” Remy's voice grew more distant.

  “So it was an accident?”

  “Didn't make her less dead. I was furious. The club had to hold me down, to stop me from killing Deadeye's guys, right there and then. They were right, it would've kicked off a chapter war. I didn't care at the time. Without the support of my club, I had to disappear for a few months to get my head straight. When I came back, everything seemed tainted. Even my chapter. The club was going in a different direction but it was happening so slowly that no one else realized it. Extortion runs? We never did that shit before.

  “What happened to your aunt and uncle never would've happened before I left. It was a different club back then.” Remy looked at me apologetically. He felt bad about what happened to them for my sake.

  “It's not your fault, Remy.” I squeezed him tighter.

  “I'm just as guilty as everyone else. Maybe even more so. I saw it all more clearly than everyone but I didn't do shit about it. I let what happened to Marie twist me all up. I didn't care about anything anymore. I only came back because I couldn't cut it out there alone. I chose the devil I knew.”

  “So what now?” I asked.

  “I'll do what I had planned originally but this time for the right reasons.” Remy smiled at me. “I'm going back to the Beaner Hotel to talk with Bones.”

  I hadn't seen that strength in his resolve since before he was shot. He was committed and I supported him a hundred percent. There was only one problem...

  “Like hell you're going back there by yourself.” I let him go.

  “Star, it's too dangerous,” he said sternly.

  “I'm the only reason you survived that place the first time. You are out of your fucking mind if you think I'm letting you walk back into that place alone.” My gaze was carved from granite. I was unshakeable.

  “Star, I have to do this al—”

  “You shut your fucking mouth! There is only one way this goes down. After everything that's happened, you either trust me enough to be
by your side no matter what or you drive me to an airport right now,” I yelled at him. I wouldn't go through all that from the sidelines. My eyes watered but I fought it away. I refused to let him see me cry, not right now. I didn't doubt he loved me, I just needed to know that he trusted in me.

  Remy's eyes flared but otherwise, he was impossible to read. He knew I was right. I understood the risks. I could be killed or worse but I would take that in a heartbeat over waiting at home, safe, but not knowing if he'd ever return to me.

  “Star, I don't know how this plays out. I was lucky last time. The smallest mistake—” Remy shook his head. “This time... there's a good chance we'll both end up dead.”

  “I don't care. We'll either be together in this life or the next, ” I said definitively.

  Dusk choked away the fleeing sun. A dying sunbeam caught his eye, when Remy looked up at me. He smiled. He knew I was right. We embraced, silently watching the sunset, wondering if this would be the last one we'd ever see.

  Chapter 4

  Remy

  “Speak to me.” The voice on the other line answered.

  “Hey Tee. It's Remy” There was a long pause. I had to check to see if the line went dead. I heard the radio in the background so I knew he was still listening.“Tee?”

  “Remy Daniels?” Tee was justifiably skeptical.

  “Yes, you stupid fuck. How many Remys do you know?”

  “Remy, if that's really you, do me a favor. Hang up the phone then ram it up your ass till you look like a fucking sock puppet. You fucking asshole.”

  “C'mon, Tee. Tell me you're not still pissed at me for shooting you outside of Muse's? I saw that you had the vest on.” It was true, I'd never be able to shoot a real brother.

  “No. You arrogant piece of shit. I'm pissed at you for making me think you were dead! Lobos even fucking took the credit. We buried you, you fucking asshole. Despite Deadeye's disapproval, Top fought for the full ceremony. I think it was the biggest funeral we've ever had. A lot of the guys respected you, even if they did think you were a pretentious dick at times.”

  “Well, if Los Lobos say it, its gotta be true, right? Tell the church to stop my canonization process, they'll probably want to revoke my sainthood now that I’m alive.” I couldn't help but rib him a bit. It was the nature of our friendship.

  “Goddamnit, what the fuck were you thinking, Rem! Going to the Lobos? And yeah¸ as a matter of fact I am still pissed that my best friend fucking shot me!”

  “You shouldn't have been out there in the first place. Going behind Deadeye's back like that! It was the only way I could get Star out of there without you taking heat from Deadeye.”

  There was an uneasy silence between us. It did bother me that of all people Top sent to kill Star it was him. I shook the thoughts from my head, that wasn't why I was calling him.

  “I made a play to put things right with me and the club by weakening the Lobos from the inside,” I continued. “I'll be straight with you, man, I got cocky and overreached. Took five rounds to the chest and one off the dome for my trouble.”

  “Jesus... I didn't know it was that bad. Any more brain damage then usual?”

  “You asshole. Yeah, enough to force me to call you.” That snarky dick. I cracked a slight smile despite myself before the tone darkened again. “If Star hadn't pulled my ass from the fire, you wouldn't be hearing my lovely voice right now.” I had to cover the phone to blot out the overhead page for more cashiers to come to the front. Turns out Walmart was one of the last places on the planet that had payphones. “Listen, Lobos are up to something big. They're putting a Nachomama's in Leslie.”

  “The taco place?” Tee was struggling to put the pieces together.

  “Doubles as money laundering for their club. They're looking to take our home town from us, man. Drive us out.”

  “Those mother fuckers!” I heard him slam a fist onto a table wherever he was. “I'll look into it, Rem, but you know how it goes. It'll take a few weeks to get through all the dummy corps bullshit and verify the connect.”

  “That's time we don't have. Lobos are making their move next week.”

  “Next week?” Tee's voice trailed off. Something was on the tip of his brain. “Shit. Oh shit!”

  “What?”

  “The Veins annual. It's gotta be that. We're hosting the meet this time. How the fuck did they know about that?”

  “That would make sense. Lobos rolling out in force to cut off all the Veins leadership at once. Watch us wither on the vine. Dunno, man. With the guys Deadeye's patching these days, any one of them could be a mole. You see that, right? One of the big reasons I had to get out.”

  “That and magical pussy.” Tee was always good for a levity in rough situations but he wouldn't let it get in the way of the bigger issues. He put the jokes aside and continued somberly. “It's gotten worse too. Some of the old men have already turned in their colors because of it. There's a lot of unrest. Still, I can't go to Deadeye or even Top with just a warning. There's no way they'll put it club-wide and stop the event without anything concrete. Worse case, they do some digging and find out you're still alive... Deadeye catches wind of that and you're looking at another round of kill teams up your ass. Do you know what the Lobos plan is? How it's all gonna go down?”

  “Excuse me! Excuse me! Other people need to use the phone too!” The shrill voice caught me off guard.

  Some bitch with a shock of matted black hair who was wearing what looked like a designer, yellow trash bag, stepped up behind me. I took one look at her and her ridiculous plastic, red tinted, star-shaped sunglasses and ignored her.

  “I don't, no. That's why I didn't call to just warn you. I aim to find out. I'm going back in to meet with Bones and I need some info before I do,” I continued with Tee barely skipping a beat in the conversation.

  “You're seriously going back there? After he put half a dozen holes in you? Y'know, for the smartest guy I know, that's a pretty fucking stupid idea.” Tee sighed, realizing I wouldn't be swayed. He knew it was the only way to find out. “Alright what's the plan?”

  “Hey! I'm talking to you! Don't disrespect me when I'm talking to you!” The bitch whined at me in the only volume setting she appeared to have.

  “Gimme a sec, Tee. I need to stab someone.” The patience in my voice had fled completely but before I could have words with the living incarnation of loud-and-obnoxious, Star appeared, plastic shopping bag in hand.

  She kissed me on the cheek whispering, “I'll take care of it.”

  I nodded, knowing she had it under control and resumed with Tee. I told him everything I had in mind at length. He thought I was out of my mind but he promised he'd pull through for me. I'd known Tee since we were kids, he'd been the one to bring me into the Veins and set me up. If anyone had my back in the club, it was him.

  “First thing I need is a show of good faith, to get me in with Bones. You got a lead on anything in the Santa Fe area?” I asked him. Granted I wasn't gone all that long but things moved fast in the club. And honestly, these past six months I hadn't kept up with anything. I was so apathetic that I was just along for the ride mostly.

  “Actually yeah. Veins funded a meth lab in Channingstone, the ghost town just outside of town.

  “You're fucking kidding me Veins are running meth now?” Of all the drug trades, meth was my least favorite. I hated everything about it.

  “Not directly, we set up a sister club. The Knights.” I could hear it in his voice, Tee wasn't pleased about it. Couldn't blame him, the Knights had a bad rep even within the club. Officially they were one of our support clubs but that was mostly political. Uneasy alliance would've been a better term for it. “It was a part of a deal to open up the H trade. We set up a guy in that area, goes by the name of Edward, he gives us his contacts.”

  “Prisons?”

  “No... college campuses and—” his voice choked off. “And high schools. Our Chapter unanimously voted against it but... Deadeye, man.”

&nbs
p; The plastic of the phone cracked in my tightening grip. Schools? I closed my eyes to keep my vision from turning red with rage. What the fuck have we become? It made me sick. We were supposed to be helping our community, protecting them, not poisoning them! I swallowed hard and calmed my breathing before I was able to continue “The fuck is Deadeye thinking?”

  “It's not just him, most of the mother chapter has been replaced with with real low guys. Deadeye's too stubborn to see it but they're bad news, man. Everyone else knows it.”

  “Chig? Loose?” I asked. They were two of the decent guys in that chapter.

  “All the guys worth their salt in that chapter are gone, bro. Either nomad, transferred or quit. Nothing left but Rio's old crew.”

  I put the phone down and tried to push away the anger. This was bad, the main chapter set the tone for the whole club. It was heartbreaking to see it fall so low. I didn't realize it was that bad, it was only a matter of time till that eroded all the other chapters or destroyed the club as a whole. The rage bled through, it couldn't be tamed. I wailed on the sheet metal wall that housed the phone. The loud rap drew a few dozen sets of eyes. I could feel them watching, I didn't care. I knew that if I turned they'd snap down or away. Fucking spineless, paper people. I picked the phone back up.

  “I'll handle the meth lab. Just be ready for the next step. I'll call you when it's a go. It's time we take back the Steel Veins.” Every syllable was a struggle to get out. I no longer felt like talking.

  “Hey for the record,” Tee said right before we hung up. “I didn't want any part of what Top was planning. I was only out that night to make sure Rio played by the rules and didn't kill you. It was damn good to see that old fire back in you, man. Up until you fucking shot me. I thought it was because of what happened to Bren but now, I get that it was because of that chick. I don't know what you saw in her that made you do what you did but thank her for me. Finally sounds like I'm talking to my old friend again and not just some asshole robot who looked like my friend.”