Sacred Breath Series (Books 1-4)
Page 108
“Hey, ladies,” said a voice from the doorway. They both looked up to see Sionna standing there, with Varia peeking around her curiously. The doctor continued to speak quickly and nervously. “Um, so I have some shocking news that shouldn’t be so shocking, but is still quite shocking. Being twins, we have a natural predisposition to beget more twins, and the fertility drugs that I gave you also often result in multiple births. So it seems only reasonable that Visola would be pregnant with more than one child…”
“What!” Visola screamed at the top of her lungs. “What!”
“Holy mother of Sedna,” Aazuria murmured.
“It’s pretty neat, isn’t it?” Varia asked. “I saw the pictures.”
“It would be neat if it wasn’t happening in my body!” Visola shrieked. “Sio! Please tell me…”
“I will tell you,” Sionna answered with a frown. “You have a serious condition called eclampsia. We need to induce delivery of the twins, or else your life will be threatened. But delivering them this prematurely will mean that the babies will not be able to survive.”
“No,” Visola whispered. “Not until they’re ready.”
“I thought you’d say that,” Sionna said. She reached down to squeeze Varia’s shoulder beside her. “Please don’t ever follow her example with respect to anything.”
“I need some liquid,” Visola said morosely. “Sio, can you bring me my grown-up medicine? The one in the bottle with the goofy-lookin’ captain on the front?”
“I can bring it for you, Grandma!” Varia said happily.
“No, dear,” Sionna cautioned. “Just ignore anything Visola says from now, especially if she’s talking about grown-up medicine.”
“Spoilsport,” Visola grumbled.
“This is serious, Viso. If it was anyone else I’d say that we need to operate at once, or you will surely die. But it’s you. In my professional medical opinion, you can do anything. You’re the juggernaut, sis, so just hang in there.” Sionna abruptly turned to leave. Varia was left standing in the doorway and blinking in confusion.
Visola stared after the red-haired woman as she disappeared. “See?” she said to Aazuria. “I even fooled her. She thinks I’m all together in one piece.”
“You will be,” Aazuria told her friend. “I’ll help you find the pieces. If for some reason, they elude us, we can just make new, better pieces.”
Elandria was sitting on the divan with her hands folded neatly on her lap. Trevain paced back and forth in front of her restlessly. Neither of them spoke to the other, each lost in their own thoughts.
“Varia’s her daughter,” Elandria whispered finally. “No wonder the girl was so kind to me.”
“Sionna tricked us into calling her by her real name, Trevain mused. “God! How could I be so stupid?” He imitated Sionna’s feminine voice angrily. “‘What was that pretty name you intended to call your daughter?’ Fuck! My own aunt.”
“Everyone is loyal to Aazuria first and foremost,” Elandria mused. “It is no wonder that this is the way everything played out. She is the vital element, while I am merely a placeholder. Even for you, I was merely a time-killer. I am insufficient filler; I am the Band-Aid you place on a giant wound while you wait for professional stitches.”
“Stop that, Elandria,” Trevain said sharply, moving to kneel before the small woman. He placed his hands on her knees and grasped them tightly. “I won’t forsake you, no matter what. Do you understand? I have promised you a million times that I would stand by you if the day ever came…”
“She has a prior claim on you,” Elandria said softly. “It is merely our duty to honor the vows which came first. She has borne your child! You wouldn’t even allow me to…”
“Because I was scared!” Trevain said passionately. He pushed his face against Elandria’s knees and firmly gripped her calves. “I tried to be reasonable. So many years had passed, and I truly thought she was gone. I thought I could just be happy with you and make you happy…”
“I was happy,” Elandria said softly. “I am happy; I love my sister. We shouldn’t be in this position in the first place! We need to be fair to her. You mustn’t sleep in my room tonight.”
“Elan,” he protested, looking up with a stricken expression. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you. I have no intentions of—”
“It’s over.” She rested her fingers against his silvery hair. “There’s no use in drawing this out further and making it more painful.”
Trevain frowned at her words, uncomprehendingly.
“I cannot be the woman you want me to be.”
“What are you talking about? I know who you are, and I haven’t asked you for anything else. Nothing is going to change between us, Elan.”
She shook her head. “It already has. I cannot be the woman you need me to be. I have tried to be her for ten years. But now that she’s actually here, maybe I should stop trying to fill her shoes, which are obviously about four sizes too big.”
“Aazuria doesn’t have big feet,” Trevain responded with a grin. “Come on, Elan. Think about what you’re saying. You’ve been doing great.”
“No, I haven’t. The people tried to kill me—Adluvians tried to kill me. They blame me for their misfortunes, and they are largely correct to do so.” Elandria turned away from her husband. “I think—I think I should not speak anymore. I should return to silence.”
“Don’t do that. Do not do that, Elan. You’ve come too far to turn around and lose all the progress you’ve made.”
“Is this really progress?”
“Yes. We both said it was something for the better, you being relaxed enough to carry on conversations vocally. We’ve achieved so much working together, and being together...”
“We’ve caused more harm than good. Please, just go,” she signed with her hands. “Go find Aazuria.” She slipped away from him and moved over to the bed, depositing herself on the corner to face the wall.
He glared at her, confused and upset by her sudden renewed reticence. “What the hell is wrong with you, Elandria? I made a commitment to you! How can you think that I’m just going to change my mind instantaneously? How can you think I would just throw away these last few years like they meant nothing to me?”
Elandria remained very still on the bed, forcing herself not to respond. She had forgotten how difficult it was to close herself down and leave people hanging when they tried to reach out to her with genuine love and kindheartedness. She had forgotten how rude it felt when she needed to erect a wall of defense, repelling their warmth and affection as though she had no use for it, when she very much did. She could learn to live without it again.
Listening for the sounds of Trevain’s footsteps as he left the room, she shut her eyes tightly. He would be so upset with her, but she knew that it was necessary. How long would she need to spurn him before he began to hate her? She was surprised when instead she felt movement on the bed behind her.
“I’m not leaving tonight,” he told her. “If you want to kick me out of bed, you will have to turn around and face me, and do so with your foot.” Even though he could not see her face, he kissed the back of her shoulder. “I know you’re smiling. I know you love me, so don’t do this. If you shut down, then it won’t be Aazuria breaking us apart, it will be you.”
Elandria inhaled a slow, silent drag of air. She knew that this was true, but she needed to do this for Aazuria. There were almost zero problems between herself and Trevain, so she needed to create some.
“If you’re doing this for Aazuria’s benefit, think again, my dear,” Trevain said softly, hugging Elandria and speaking into her ear. “She stayed away from us for your benefit. Plus, she called me sloppy leftovers. If you don’t want to keep me, who will?”
Elandria tilted her head back a few inches to connect with his face, just to feel closer to his warmth. She did not know if she was strong enough to return to being alone.
“Don’t take this on as your fault,” Trevain said. “You don’t need to
punish yourself for this; we made our choices together. We need to deal with the consequences together.”
She nodded slightly. Words sprung to her lips, but she immediately quelled them before they could be released in speech. Instead, she remained wordless and stared forward at the wall. She mentally began to build a battlement between them, laying stone after symbolic stone and sealing the structure with her resolution. This is more than just personal penance, she told herself. I used to know myself better when I didn’t speak. I used to be able to hear myself think.
Aazuria stood in her new chamber in Upper Adlivun with her arms crossed. She contemplated the room carefully without really seeing anything that was before her. After hours of being bombarded with matters of state, feasting grandly on traditional gourmet Adluvian meals, (mostly prepared by her old personal chef, whom she had missed,) and being caught up on the personal highlights of the lives of those closest to her in addition to all the noblemen and noblewomen, she had grown fairly exhausted. The only person she wanted to be around was Varia, but her daughter had a lesson scheduled later that day. She had excused herself to retire to her chamber, only to discover that she did not know where she would go. She was unfamiliar in this new castle, a complete stranger in the structure that her sister had commissioned.
She felt odd when everyone addressed her by her title, as though she were an imposter in foreign clothes in the modern palace. She imagined that Queen Amabie felt the same way, since Shiretoko had been destroyed and taken by the Clan of Zalcan. The Japanese ruler had been defeated, and had lost her home, and yet she would always be a queen in everyone’s heart and mind. Aazuria wondered if her own title was similar; just an honorary relic? Perhaps she was just overwhelmed by every aspect of her old life inundating her all at once, like a non-too-gentle tidal wave. A polite knock on the door drew her from her thoughts.
“Queen Aazuria, welcome home to Adlivun,” said Naclana, giving the traditional salute and a deep bow.
She turned to look at the long-haired man with a sad smile. “That is not the kind of greeting I require at the moment.”
Naclana nodded in understanding. He moved forward and put his arms around Aazuria, squeezing her back gently. “Good to have you back, cousin.”
Aazuria returned the hug gratefully, enjoying the closeness of an old family member. “Thank you.”
“I never stopped praying to Sedna for your safe return,” Naclana said. “I prayed to your mother’s spirit to protect you.”
“I believe she did,” Aazuria said softly. “It warms my heart to know that you are still loyal to me.”
“We all are,” he responded with a frown.
“It does not feel that way,” she answered earnestly. “I do not intend to ever tell anyone but you, Naclana; but I actually do feel rather betrayed.”
“You would not be human if it were not so,” Naclana said, holding her shoulders gently, “but listen to me, Aazuria. Your husband searched for you as much as he possibly could. It was not easy on him. He pined for you and grew angry until his personality was bestial. It was a long time before he accepted what happened and found peace again.”
Aazuria nodded, looking at the carpets blankly. “A spiritual woman named Mother Melusina told him where to look, but he did not pursue it any further. I spent a whole southern summer digging giant letters reading SOS into the snow.”
“I am so sorry, my queen. We did try. We looked it up and had initially planned to travel there,” Naclana explained, “but it seemed highly unlikely that we would find you. We contacted the scientists in the research stations, and no one had seen anyone of your description. It was almost impossible to get to Antarctica most of the time.”
“That is precisely why I was kept there.”
Naclana cleared his throat. “Trevain and I have not always gotten along. In fact, he and I hated each other for quite some time. But we tried to put all of that aside and search for you together in the first few years that you were missing. He and I had many fist fights along the way (and most of the time, he won) but we realized eventually that we were fighting because we both wanted the same thing so badly. We wanted you back, and we each hated the other for being unable to achieve success in finding you.”
“Thank you for trying,” Aazuria told him, “and thank you for supporting Trevain and Elandria in my absence.”
“It was my duty, Queen Aazuria. I was required to play a bigger administrative role once the treaty had been signed and construction on the bridge began. There were never enough heads or hands to deal with all the work that needed to be done.” Naclana smiled. “Ten men took ten days to manage what you could have done in an instant.”
“I need to renegotiate the treaty,” Aazuria said softly. “I have wasted enough time lamenting the situation with my husband.”
“My queen, he cares for you a great deal. For that matter, so does your sister. They will both bend over backwards to make you happy,” Naclana said. “They would do anything for you—even sacrifice each other.”
Aazuria frowned. “I am not a monster. I would never ask that of them; what’s done is done.”
“I am sorry,” Naclana said softly. “I would have prevented it if only I had known…”
“There will be plenty of time to feel sorry for myself later,” Aazuria said lightly, with a feeble smile. “I need to think about Adlivun now. I need to think about my daughter’s future. Come Naclana, we have much work to do. Will you get a pen and dictate some notes for me?”
“We use computers now, my queen.”
“One of those, then.”
Chapter 23: The Apple Pie
“I am not sure that Vachlan is coming back,” Sionna said as she descended the stairs of her basement, carrying a small bowl. She smiled at her paralyzed prisoner. “It’s possible that he got himself killed, but highly unlikely. It is Vachlan after all. At any rate, you will always have someone making your life uncomfortable.”
Marshal Landou could only move his eyes to look up from where he was chained to a corner of the basement wall. The chains were just a precaution, as Sionna kept him carefully chained up inside his own body with regular doses of various neurotoxins.
“How long has it been?” Sionna asked. “A little over three months since you moved in? I really do feel like we’re getting to know each other better.” The redhead moved over to a small sofa in which she deposited her body before turning on the television. Flicking through the various channels, she settled on one and kicked her feet up onto the cushions. She began to reach into her bowl to remove morsels of buttery popcorn, which she ate happily. “These are delicious,” she told Landou. “The perfect food to munch on while watching a program, don’t you think?”
When the news channel abruptly switched to covering an outbreak of tuberculosis in India, Sionna paused, with her fingers in the middle of descending to her popcorn bowl. She grabbed the remote with her other hand and turned up the volume.
“The lives of millions are threatened as the disease spreads through India’s densest cities, and devastates the slums. It seems that this outbreak is worsened by unprecedented cases of Legionnaires and…”
“Aw, Vachlan. I told you to contain it!” Sionna said in disappointment, tossing her bowl of popcorn at the television. She sighed, staring at the news reports in dismay. “I feel a bit guilty for letting him have all those bacterial cultures,” Sionna told her prisoner softly. “I mean, it’s not really a big deal in the big picture. Epidemics come and go. They’re really quite natural. Except for when they’re not so natural.”
Marshal Landou could not respond, but his eyes seemed to dart nervously to the television and back to Sionna. The woman continued musing to herself on the consequences of her actions. “But these things can have positive long-term effects. I’m not kidding… when you live for so many generations, and once science starts to explain the things you have already witnessed; it becomes hard to resist giving natural selection a little nudge in the right direction.”
Turning her gaze upon her silent prisoner, Sionna smiled. “Are you looking forward to his return, Gaston? Do you enjoy our little time together, or would you prefer to be tortured by the best? If it’s any reassurance, as soon as Visola recovers and delivers her babies, I’m going to tell her what you did to Alcyone. She is at least as skilled as her husband when it comes to inflicting pain. In fact, I’m not sure who I would enjoy watching work on you more. I’d have to see them both get their chance and then compare techniques. Maybe I can grade them on some sort of scale, give them marks based on the levels of discomfort to which they can each bring you.”
Sionna lifted her body from the sofa and walked over to Marshal Landou, standing over him haughtily. She crouched to her knees, and examined the growth of hair on his head that was apparent now that he could no longer groom himself. Of course, he had been completely bald to hide an unattractive bald spot. Smirking, Sionna reached out to touch the man’s bald spot, and saw the quick blink of his eyes that indicated a flinch.
“You know, I feel like we’re really bonding,” Sionna told him.
Visola tentatively opened one eye, disappointed that she had been unable to keep it closed any longer. The dim moonlight immediately invaded her iris, causing her pupil to shrink slightly. She had been trying to sleep as much as possible to avoid the pain and stress of her pregnancy, and she was often successfully able to stay in bed for sixteen to twenty hours at a time. Of course, the physical pain made an excellent excuse for her behavior, but the truth was that she needed to sleep to avoid letting her thoughts dwell on Vachlan. Thinking about her husband made her upset, and being upset made her do crazy, reckless things. She had gone on several long rides on her motorcycle, only to be yelled at by everyone about how irresponsible this was. It had been somewhat difficult to give up drinking, (she had never actually realized how dependent she was on liquor) but it had been far more difficult to give up danger.