by Carsen Taite
Moments later, Ainsley found herself driving like a madwoman through the streets of Santa Fe. If she thought being in the car with Drew would give her more information about either what was going on or about Greer’s whereabouts, she was wrong. The only words Drew could seem to form were the directions to St. Vincent’s Hospital. Ainsley didn’t push her. She was too scared of what Drew might say.
Chapter Twenty-One
Being Greer Davis meant never having to wait. Until now. The emergency room was the great equalizer. Rich, poor, famous, or unknown, it didn’t matter. Who she was didn’t factor into the process.
Greer’s fame might not have moved Clayton up in the line, but his arrival by ambulance was one of the variables that worked in his favor. Greer’s first instinct had been to drive him to St. Vincent’s herself. The drive wasn’t long, but most of it was along undeveloped stretches of land, and she worried about a possible breakdown in Joey’s old jalopy. Ultimately, Ellen made the decision to call 911 and they waited together for what seemed like hours for the ambulance to arrive. Their patience at the front end of the trip had the benefit of getting Clayton through those double doors faster than the poor folks who had been sitting for who knew how long in the busy waiting room. Ellen was with Clayton and a team of professionals in his curtained-off “room.” Nobody had any idea what was going on, so Greer left to give them room to figure it out. She entered the waiting room and slid into a hard plastic chair and pretended to read a magazine while she waited for Drew to arrive.
She didn’t have to wait long. They had trouble getting through to Drew at the hotel, but she must have run every light and stop sign to get to the hospital in record time. From her chair in the waiting room, Greer could see her dash through the double doors and head directly to the frazzled nurse working the intake desk. Greer moved quickly to intercept her before she encountered the same frustrating lack of information she had faced when asking for an update.
“Drew, over here.” Greer waved at a chair beside her. Drew looked from Greer to the receptionist and back again before walking over and settling in the chair next to her.
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. We were walking around the ranch. He got a cramp in his leg and he looked like he was about to pass out. I called nine-one-one.”
Drew puffed up. Her voice was a low growl. “What in the world were you thinking? He’s in no condition to be walking all over creation.”
Greer’s first inclination was to growl back a protest. Her uncle was the kind of person who did what he wanted to do. If he wanted to traipse up the side of a mountain, he wasn’t likely to heed warnings to the contrary. As she started to form the words, she realized Drew already knew these simple truths about Clayton. Her accusations were rooted in fear, not blame. Greer wanted to tell her she understood, that she knew it was easier to lash out than feel the pain of loss and fear, but tender words weren’t part of her repertoire. She acted instead and swept Drew up in a tight hug.
“Hey, get off me.” Drew didn’t back her words up with action, so Greer held tight. She imagined Drew might even be hugging her back. After a few minutes, Drew relaxed in her embrace.
“Where’s Mom?”
“She’s back there.” Greer pointed to the “Only Authorized Personnel Allowed” doors next to the intake desk. “The nurse said only one person could be back there with him at a time.”
“And the mighty Greer Davis acquiesed?”
“Knock it off. I was waiting for you. I figured the two of us could take her if we work together.” Greer nodded in the direction of the scowling nurse manning the admission desk. She stood and held out a hand. “Come on.”
Instead of taking her hand, Drew looked anxiously at the double doors. Greer followed the direction of her gaze. “Expecting someone?”
Drew looked as if trying to decide whether to answer. “I got a ride here.” She paused. “From Ainsley.”
“Faraday?” The inane question was all Greer could manage.
“You know some other Ainsley?”
“Don’t be a smart-ass.”
“Don’t let a crush make you stupid.”
Greer started to protest, but she didn’t know which part of Drew’s admonishment to challenge. She was stupid. Stupid for letting Ainsley get away, but she was at least smart enough to realize her mistake. On the other hand, what she felt could in no way be characterized as a crush. A crush was a sharp, quick press of feeling. What she felt for Ainsley was deep and abiding passion. Suddenly, she knew what to say.
“I’m in love with her.”
Drew frowned and placed her palm on Greer’s forehead. Greer knocked her hand away. “Cut it out.”
“You cut it out.”
Greer smiled. “You realize we sound like a couple of kids.”
“I guess we never outgrew sibling rivalry. I always thought of you like a sister, you know.”
“Yeah, I know. Me too, you. Go on ahead, I’ll wait for her.”
“Okay.” Drew started toward the entrance to the emergency room. She was a couple of steps away when she glanced back. “You should tell her.” Then she dashed through the double doors on the heels of a medicine cart before Greer could respond.
*
Ainsley envied the casual physical play between the two cousins. They looked like teenagers sparring, but the warmth behind their teasing looks belied any true conflict. Obviously the affection in their relationship ran deeper than the hostility she had witnessed between them at the hotel. She pressed her face against the glass and wished. Wished she had a relationship with her sister like the one she witnessed between Drew and Greer. Wished she knew the loving, affectionate Greer others knew. She could see her now in the concern of her furrowed brow, the love in her easy smile, but she didn’t know if she was ready to trust what she saw as real.
Ainsley looked through the glass smeared with handprints from dozens of visitors who had entered seeking healing. Suddenly, she realized Greer Davis was a regular person, sitting in a waiting room like all the other regular people suspended in time while waiting for news about their loved ones. Greer could probably use a friend, and Ainsley could think of no good reason not to fill the slot. She shrugged off her apprehension and pushed open the door.
As Ainsley made her way to the chairs, she heard a commotion from her left and she looked up in time to see Drew barreling toward Greer, ignoring the nurse who shouted for her to stop running. She grabbed Greer’s hand and hauled her back the way she had come. Ainsley couldn’t be certain, but she was fairly sure neither Drew nor Greer had noticed she was even in the room. She closed the distance to the nurse.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m sorry. I’m not at liberty to say.”
Ainsley knew she wasn’t going to get information from hospital staff. She wasn’t family. She wasn’t anything. As she sank into one of the nearby chairs, she resolved to become someone special in the life of Greer Davis.
*
“I thought he was having complications.” Greer huffed the words between pants as she followed Drew through the maze of curtained off cubicles.
“He is, but the complications are more severe than they thought.” She pulled to a stop outside a curtain and her next words were short and clipped. “He has a blood clot. It’s large. They don’t think treating it with blood thinners will be effective. They want to do surgery. They want to do it right now.”
“So, what are they waiting for?”
“It’s risky.”
Greer braced herself. “And?”
“Clayton wants this to be a family decision.”
Greer swallowed back tears as she realized the meaning behind Drew’s words. She was being included in the decision. Whatever they decided, this might be her last chance to talk to her uncle. Whatever she was feeling now, Drew must be feeling full force. “What do you think?”
“I think we should get in there and do some talking.”
Greer moved through the curtai
n and joined Drew and her aunt at Clayton’s bedside. He was conscious, but the rest of the news was bleak. Any sign of a climb back to good health had been struck down, and his pale and weakened body didn’t appear to have the strength to hold him up for what could be the most important conversation of his life. As if their lifelines were connected to his, Drew and Ellen seemed deflated, unable to speak. Greer decided she had to step in, or they would all merely sit and watch any sign of his life slip out of the room.
“I understand we need to sort this out.” She looked at her uncle. “Clayton, would you like to say anything?”
“I’ve lived a good life. I wonder if I’m being greedy, asking for more.” His comment elicited sobs from Ellen. Drew watched with watery eyes and quivering lips. Greer considered his question. She thought about all the years of her life she had burned away, living fast and loose, with no depth or feeling. In contrast, her uncle had built a business, a home, a loving family. He had character in spades. Everyone who came in contact with him walked away a better person for having known him. No, it was she who was the greedy one, who had squandered all she had. Taking life’s gifts for granted. Her uncle deserved a long future.
She pulled the wolf fetish from her pocket. Healing. Greer squeezed the tiny talisman in her fist and leaned over his bed. “Do you want more?” He nodded, and she kissed him on the forehead. “Even if it means risking everything?” Another nod. “Then let’s do this.” She looked at Ellen and Drew. “You okay with this?” They both nodded, relief that Greer had taken control apparent in their expressions. She felt good knowing she had somehow won back their trust, but more important was the message she read from her uncle’s decision. Even when things seemed bleakest, giving up only meant certain failure. If Clayton didn’t have the surgery, he would die. The risk of surgery meant he had a chance.
Greer realized she could pine away for Ainsley, letting the “what if” of uncertainty be her only reward, or she could take the chance of declaring her feelings. Gifts and notes weren’t doing the trick. Greer braced herself for baring her soul without accessories she could hide behind. If Ainsley turned her down, Greer knew her heart would heal. If she never took the risk, she might never recover from the pain of playing it safe.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Ainsley stared at the poster in her hand. Joey had left a small stack of the bills advertising Greer’s benefit concert on the desk. In the photo on the picture, she was animated and vibrant, jamming on her guitar while rocking across the stage. Ainsley hadn’t seen Greer since Friday, but she knew from Joey’s reports that Greer and Drew had spent every moment of the weekend waiting at the hospital.
“You look beat,” Paul said. “Why don’t you run up to my room and take a nap? It’s quieter there. Let me take over for a while.”
Ainsley was beyond beat. She had spent the last three days substituting for Drew at the hotel in addition to her transition duties. With her room connected to the office, she had no peace at all. She didn’t mind. It was the least she could do for the Lancer family. Paul only made halfhearted efforts now to try to get her to stop, but she was reaching a breaking point and was about to give in. An hour of sleep sounded like paradise. If she could shut her mind down, it might be heaven. Before she could take Paul up his offer, she had to know. “Have you heard anything today?”
He shook his head. “No. Do you want me to call?”
“No, no. They have enough to worry about without keeping us updated.” The last thing Ainsley had heard was Clayton had come through surgery, but his condition was rocky and he was in ICU. Every ounce of her wanted to be there, to wrap Greer in her arms and be a strong, supportive lover, but she knew her desire was more about fulfilling her own needs than those of Greer and Drew. She was doing more for them by giving Drew the freedom to be where she needed to be. She realized she might be even more effective if she got a little rest. “Paul, I think I will take you up on your offer. But I want you to get me up in two hours. Deal?”
“Deal.” He handed her his key and ushered her out of the office. Ainsley made her way toward the elevator in a haze. She noticed a huddle of hotel employees near the front desk, but she didn’t even have the energy to urge them back to work. Let Paul handle it.
Finally, the elevator doors opened and she almost fell in. She pressed the button for her floor and willed the doors to close quickly. After what seemed like infinity, the doors started to slide slowly into place. Through the closing gap, Ainsley noted the crowd breaking up. She figured Paul had dispersed the employees, but when she saw who had been standing at the center of the crowd, she gasped.
*
Greer knew even if she wasn’t running on empty, she would never make it to the elevator before the doors closed, but at the sight of Ainsley staring at her through the closing metal doors, she broke away from Joey and the rest of the gang. This wasn’t how she wanted this scene to go—her running like a bat out of hell toward Ainsley, ready to blurt out her declaration of love. She hadn’t slept in days. She had huge black bags under her eyes, and the pieces of her hair jutting out around her head could no longer be mistaken for a fashion statement.
The fear behind her hesitation flashed, then fizzled out. If she had learned nothing else from her uncle’s brush with death, she had discovered even small victories were worth big risks. If all she got out of a face-to-face was the chance to apologize and tell Ainsley in no uncertain terms how she felt about her, no matter what response she got, then no risk was too big. The thin slice of Ainsley she could see through those closing doors was all she needed to confirm her desire to declare her intentions. What if the elevator Ainsley was in crashed to the ground? What if a meteor struck the hotel lobby, sizzling all the occupants to a fiery crisp? What if this moment was all she had, all she would ever have? Messy hair, messy clothes, baggy eyes. None of that mattered. Greer rubbed the fetish in her pocket. Pathfinder. Safe journey. The right path was mere steps away. Greer launched herself across the lobby.
She was mere inches away when the doors shut and Ainsley had not met her gaze as the steel stole the space between them. Damn. Greer sagged against the frame of the elevator and shook her head. Her sprint across the lobby had been fueled by adrenaline. She could feel it leaving as fast as it had come.
“Greer?”
She looked up at Joey. She hadn’t even heard him approach. He shuffled his feet and glanced back at the rest of the group who had witnessed her failed maneuver. “Yes?”
“Are you okay?”
Greer grimaced. Apparently, her mad dash had not gone unnoticed. Should she pursue this quest for unrequited love by standing outside another closed door? Greer decided she had nothing to lose except her pride. Determined to track Ainsley through the halls of the hotel, she reached behind her back and pushed against the doors to right herself, but instead of moving forward, she fell back through the doors as they opened behind her. Joey reached out to grab her arm, but they didn’t connect. She hit the floor of the elevator with a thud. Greer winced and opened her eyes.
“Not exactly a rock-star entrance.” Ainsley grinned down at her. “Are you okay?”
Greer rubbed her head and grinned back. “Pretty sure my pride is hurt worse than my head. I wanted to see you so badly, but this wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.”
Ainsley extended her arm and helped Greer to her feet. Greer fell into Ainsely’s arms, hating that lack of coordination was the only reason she was there. Ainsley’s next action wiped away any thoughts of regret. Greer melted into soft lips that delivered the perfect balm for her bruised ego. Time was suspended as their kiss deepened. She held Ainsley close and enjoyed the déjà vu of their touch. No one else had ever felt like this. No one else ever would. If this kiss, this hug was all she could have, she was determined to imprint herself with the memory so she could return to these feelings when she was alone.
As if Greer had conjured up their separation, her thoughts were accompanied by the empty feeling of Ainsley pulling back. The
look in her eyes was impossible to decipher. A mixture of desire and frustration, which Greer read as the prelude to a good-bye, though a much gentler one than Ainsley had offered before. She opened her mouth to blunt the emotion, but Ainsley beat her to words.
“I think we have an audience.”
Greer glanced at the doors and realized for the first time they were standing open. Joey and the rest of the Lancer crew were standing in the lobby, staring at them kissing in the elevator. Could their public display be the source of frustration she saw on Ainsley’s face? She inclined her head toward the open doors. “Does that bother you?”
“Surprisingly, no.” Ainsley offered a slow smile. “As out of character as it seems, I kind of want to give them a reason for staring.”
Greer returned the smile and pushed away her insecurities once and for all. Ainsley wanted to kiss her. In public. Right now. “I can help you with that.”
“Well, Greer, what are you waiting for?”
Greer stopped midway to Ainsley’s waiting lips and glanced away so Ainsley wouldn’t see the tears forming in her eyes. She felt arms encircle her and pull her close. Ainsley whispered in her ear, “Baby, what’s wrong?”
She felt silly for crying, but it couldn’t be helped. Ainsley’s words were fresh and new, and they unearthed cravings Greer didn’t know she had: comfort, acceptance, love. She had to answer soon if she wanted Ainsley to stay. She could already feel her failure to respond being met with the tentative pull back of potential rejection. She cupped Ainsley’s chin in her hand and met her eyes. “My name. I’ve never heard you say my name…” She wanted to say more, to explain the irrational emotion behind her teary response, but she couldn’t manage the words and the emotion at the same time.
