The Story of Us

by Barbara Elsborg

  Served him the fuck right.

  After he’d sorted his stuff that had been brought over from Mako, he wandered into the communal area with its screwed down chairs and tables. He needed to get a feel for how things worked in the wing, who to avoid, who thought they were in charge, where he should and shouldn’t sit or stand. Then he looked up and saw Zed.

  Not that he believed it. His eyes playing tricks, his brain turning whoever was coming out of that cell into— Well, not Zed, just someone who looked a lot like him.

  But then the guy turned and Caspian saw those eyes and the room began to spin faster and faster. He couldn’t even think about taking a step because a gaping chasm loomed in front of him. He opened his mouth to say something before the mirage slipped away, but nothing came out, no words, no cry, no name, no moan, nothing.

  Not real. I’m a fool. How can this be Zed? Why would he be in here?

  Caspian’s throat filled with sand and it hurt to swallow. The spell broke and he went back to his cell before he burst into tears and ruined his street cred as the hard guy with a bruised face and throat, and a cut stomach who’d survived a Mako attack. As he slumped on his bed, a figure appeared at the door.

  “It is you,” Zed gasped.

  Caspian straightened. The voice was the same. The smile the same. It was impossible, but Zed was here. Everything in Caspian’s world had changed, but Zed was the same. Caspian pushed to his feet. Zed hadn’t moved from the door. He looked as shocked as Caspian felt. Caspian was desperate to touch him, prove to his sceptical brain that Zed was real. Only feet away and it felt like miles. But unless Caspian touched him, he couldn’t know for sure.

  Zed took one step.

  “The door,” Caspian choked out. This moment had to be theirs. Only theirs.

  Zed reached back and closed the door.

  It was Zed who walked towards him, Zed who touched him, reached out for Caspian’s hand and brought it to his mouth. He kissed the tip of each finger, then his palm, before he pressed his mouth to the pulse on Caspian’s wrist. Then he took Caspian’s other hand and did the same. And he brought Caspian back, kiss by kiss. Zed looked at him as if he were the only boy in the world, the only thing that mattered to him and Caspian’s battered heart began to heal.

  He wrapped his arms around Zed and Zed pressed his lips against the bruise on his cheek, kissed the line of his chin, the dip in his throat before he came back to his mouth. Everywhere he touched with his lips was like an electric jolt bringing Caspian back to life, keeping him alive. His cock throbbed, tenting his sweat pants. His heart banged so hard against his ribs, his chest hurt.

  When their lips finally met and stayed together, Caspian was almost overwhelmed with emotion. Zed was so gentle. It was as if they were the only two people who existed. The only two people who had ever kissed, who had ever felt this pull, this desperate yearning. Caspian wanted more, wanted to strip them both of their clothes so they could lie skin to skin and melt into each other, become each other, join forever.

  But the kiss ended, because all kisses do, and the questions poured out.

  “What the hell are you doing here?” Caspian asked at the same time as Zed.

  “You didn’t know I was in here?” Caspian had been sure Zed must have known, done something stupid to get sent here and…

  “I had no idea. I thought you were still in Lower Barton.”

  Caspian pulled him down to sit next to him on the bed. “Tell me everything. Why are you in here?”

  “Why are you?”

  “You go first.”

  Zed shifted in discomfort. “You have to promise never to breathe a word of this. Ever. I shouldn’t tell you. I’m not supposed to tell anyone. Plus, I’m not sure you’ll believe me.”

  “Tell me.” Caspian pressed against him, trapping their entwined fingers between their thighs.

  Zed chewed his lip. “I waited until the last train that day and you didn’t come.”

  Caspian groaned. “I was in an accident. I ended up in hospital.”

  “Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I called you. Your father answered but he didn’t tell me that. He said I wasn’t your friend anymore, not to call again. I wasn’t just going to accept that but when I tried your number later, it was out of service.”

  “He cancelled my phone. He didn’t tell me you called.” The complete and utter bastard. “So you got on the train?”

  Zed’s face was bleak. “I couldn’t go home. I told you I’d stolen my father’s money and his phone. He’d have killed me. It was late when I reached St Pancras. I called Tamaz. He sent a friend of his to get me. I hadn’t asked him to. Now I’m sort of torn on whether I should be glad or not that Fahid came.” He took a deep breath.

  “I ended up in Islington in Fahid’s house and I discovered he’d organised a group of extremists to blow themselves up at the Olympics. It was supposed to happen tomorrow at the 100 metre finals.”

  Caspian gasped. “Fucking hell.”

  “I told the authorities and two days ago they arrested everyone except for Fahid who managed to escape. Because Fahid might guess it was me who betrayed them if I’m not in custody, they put me in here. It won’t be for long.”

  That should have made Caspian happy, but it broke his heart all over again.

  “Now you,” Zed said. “What are you doing in here? And what happened to your face and your neck?”

  “You know you said I never had to tell anyone what you said, well the same applies to what I’m going to tell you. But there’s a difference. If I spoke out about what you did, I’d put you in danger and I’d never do that. If you revealed my secret, it would destroy my family, but it would probably help me.”

  Zed stared at him and Caspian took a deep breath. “The thing is, you’ll want to tell someone. You’re going to think it’s not fair, that it shouldn’t have happened to me and you’re right, but it’s done now. You have to promise you won’t breathe a word to anyone. Promise no matter what happens in the future, this stays a secret between us.”

  “I promise. I swear.”

  Caspian told Zed what had happened and watched Zed’s face pale in shock.

  “I don’t know who to be angrier with,” Zed said. “Lachlan or your father. What fucking shits!”

  “Yeah,” Caspian muttered. “The family name would be ruined if Lachlan fucked up but not if I did. So little was expected of me that having a conviction for causing death by dangerous driving wouldn’t wreck my life because I was never going to amount to anything.”

  Zed opened his mouth, then closed it again, but he reached for Caspian’s other hand where it lay clenched on his thigh and held it tight.

  “I could have gone home to wait for the trial. It could take a year to come to court, but I didn’t want to go home. I can’t bear to look at any of them. I’d rather get beaten up in here.” He gave a short laugh.

  Tears rolled down Zed’s face and he gulped back sobs. “Oh fuck, Caspian. How can they do this to you?”

  “It’s done. What proof do I have that I wasn’t driving? My father gave Lachlan an alibi. My sorry excuse for a brother apparently put my hands on the wheel and the door handle before he went home so if the police checked, they’d find my fingerprints. To use prison lingo—they stitched me up.”

  “Oh shit. The fucking bastards.”

  “The one thing they want me to do is plead guilty. I’d get a lesser sentence and the girls’ parents wouldn’t have to go to court and hear distressing evidence. I get all that, but I won’t plead guilty. I’m not going to speak at all at the trial.” He gave a heavy sigh. “I know I’ll get found guilty. That’s a foregone conclusion. But I’m not going to say I was driving when I wasn’t.”

  “I didn’t know you could drive.”

  “I passed my test when I was at school. I thought when the GCSE results came out, and my father sat there rolling his eyes, I could tell him I passed my driving test at the first attempt and at least that would be something to impress him. Lachlan to
ok his test three times. But I even shot myself in the foot with that because if I hadn’t passed my test, I might get a lesser sentence, which doesn’t seem right to me.”

  “How long are you talking about?” Zed’s eyes were wide.

  “The lawyer seems to think I might just get a slap on the wrist. A ban and a fine. Community service. But it could easily be a prison sentence. Maybe this time on remand will help. But three girls died. Their families deserve more than me getting told not to do it again and having to tidy some old person’s garden for a few months.”

  “They do deserve more but not from you. Your brother was responsible. He should accept the blame.”

  “It was partly my fault. If I hadn’t run from the house, Lachlan wouldn’t have come after me.”

  “It was not your fault,” Zed spoke through gritted teeth. “Are you listening to me? Not even partly your fault. It’s entirely your brother’s. If he wasn’t fit to drive, he shouldn’t have driven. He should stand up and take the blame. What the fuck is he thinking? How can your father let this happen? I thought my father was a bastard, but this…? This is fucking awful.”

  “Nothing’s going to change. Once I discovered my father had given Lachlan an alibi, that ended any hope the truth would come out.” Caspian released a shaky breath. “I’m so happy you’re here. Telling you the truth has made me feel as though some of the weight has lifted from my shoulders. I thought I’d lost you forever. I knew you wouldn’t come back to the village. I’ve thought about you all the time. Wondered where you were. If you were okay. If you’d…found someone else.”

  Zed pulled him down gently so they were lying on the bed. Zed spooned behind him and pressed his mouth to Caspian’s ear. “There will never be anyone else for me. Whatever happens, I’ll always wait for you.”

  It was hard for Zed not to cling onto Caspian too tightly. He’d not been able to believe his eyes when he’d seen him. Even battered, he was still beautiful. Zed was furious with Caspian’s father and brother. And maybe with his mother too. Did she know what they’d done? Zed wanted to do something to make things right even though he’d promised Caspian, but there was nothing he could do. Appealing to Caspian’s father and brother would get him nowhere and even if Zed broke his promise and told the police, maybe told Jackson, it could be hard to prove Caspian wasn’t driving.

  Lachlan hadn’t been injured so didn’t that imply the driver’s side of the car had been less damaged? How severe had Caspian’s injuries been? But if Caspian had been found in the driver’s seat, then why look for anyone else? If Zed talked, he’d destroy what little love remained between Caspian and his family. Not only that, he’d be betraying Caspian’s trust.

  It wasn’t Zed’s choice to make. That was the truth, whether Zed liked it or not, and he didn’t like it.

  “Think they’ll let me move in here with you?” Zed asked.

  “We can ask.”

  “And not take no for an answer.”

  Caspian chuckled. “Good luck with that. Who’s your PO?”

  “Naughton.”

  “Mine too. He’s a prick.”

  Zed wanted to go and ask right then but he equally didn’t want to move away from Caspian.

  “Does Naughton know you’re not in here for long?” Caspian whispered.

  “No. They told me only the governor knows.”

  “Who’s they?”

  “MI5.”

  Caspian rolled over, stared at him, then smiled. “Zed Bond.”

  “Bond was MI6.”

  “Were you scared?”

  “Terrified. But you’re the brave one, not me.” Zed stroked Caspian’s face and ran his finger over his lips. “I was the boy who never swore, always said please and thank you. I wanted to be the type who skipped school to go to the seaside, the boy didn’t always do his homework, took risks, drew crop circles. A boy who recognised what he really was, someone who could admit to being gay. You showed me I had that boy inside me. The best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life was finding you up that tree. The. Best. Thing.”

  Zed closed the gap between them and brushed his lips against Caspian’s, breathing in Caspian’s expelled air. “You made me feel as though I’d never truly been alive. You made me believe I could escape. I won’t let you go. Ever.” He winced. “I don’t mean that in a freaky way.”

  Caspian closed his eyes. “I’m imagining this. I have to be.”

  Zed slipped his hand between them, fondled Caspian’s cock through his clothing and Caspian juddered against him. He kissed his way down Caspian’s neck into the hollow of his shoulder, ran his teeth along his collarbone and smiled as Caspian’s breathing turned ragged.

  “Oh God,” Caspian gasped.

  “No, just me,” said a voice.

  They sprang apart and turned to see their PO standing at the door.

  Caspian pushed to his feet. “You’re supposed to knock.”

  Zed stood at his side.

  “Sexual activity between prisoners is not allowed.”

  Caspian glared. “Why is there a condom policy then?”

  “In case you’re at risk of catching an STI. Wouldn’t want you to be passing on any nasty diseases.” Naughton looked from Caspian to Zed. “You were both asked if you were homosexual. You both said no.”

  Caspian edged closer to Zed so their hips bumped. He clutched Zed’s fingers out of sight of their PO.

  “It’s difficult, if not impossible, for prison staff to be sure whether a relationship between inmates is consensual or not.”

  Zed squeezed his fingers. Maybe warning him to keep quiet.

  “An inmate observed as being openly affectionate towards another inmate can be given a warning under the IEP scheme. Incentives and Earned Privileges, in case it’s slipped your mind.”

  “We’re in my pad. We weren’t being openly affectionate,” Caspian said.

  “I’ll be the judge of that,” Naughton snapped.

  Shit.

  “You work fast,” Naughton said to Caspian. “You only moved in here this morning.” He narrowed his eyes. “Do you two know one another? Because prisoners in a relationship can’t share a cell.”

  “No,” Caspian said quickly.

  “No.” Zed shook his head. “We’re not in a relationship. So we’d like to share a cell. Can I move in here, please?”

  Naughton smiled. Caspian was sure he was going to say no, but Naughton nodded. “Contrary to what you lot might think, I’m not anti-gay. What you get up to at night when the door is locked is up to you but for your own safety, you don’t take this outside the cell. Understand?”

  “Yes.” Caspian nodded.

  “And if you need to talk to someone in Healthcare about the condom policy, you ask me.”

  “Can—?” Caspian said.

  “Yes. I’ll put a slip in. Move your stuff over here.”

  That afternoon, after Zed had moved his things, a prison officer came to tell him he had a visitor. Jackson. Zed was given a yellow top with Woodbury Young Offender Institution on the back and led to the visiting room. Jackson sat at a table near a vending machine and pushed to his feet when Zed came in.

  “How are you doing?” Jackson asked.

  “Okay.”

  “You want something from the machine? A drink, crisps, chocolate?”

  “Please. Anything. Thanks.”

  Jackson came back to the table with a whole load of stuff. Zed wanted to share it with Caspian so he only opened the water.

  “Have you caught Fahid yet?” Yesterday, he’d have wanted the answer to be yes, now he sort of didn’t.

  “No. We suspect he’s left the country, but we need to be sure.”

  Zed nodded. “Better to be sure.”

  “Parwez has done a lot of talking, unlike the others. He confirmed everything you told us and that you weren’t involved.”

  “You thought I was part of it?” Zed clenched his fists.

  “No, I didn’t think you were part of it, but others weren�
��t so sure.”

  Zed sagged.

  “You’re a good kid, Zed. You spoke out when many would have kept quiet. You risked your own safety and you saved lives. You did a brave thing.”

  “Right.”

  “Parwez’s confession has saved you needing to give evidence.”

  “Give evidence? You mean I’d have had to go to court? Stand there in front of them?” His heart banged against his ribs.

  “Your identity will always be protected. If necessary, we’d relocate you, get you a new name.”

  “Okay.” It wasn’t okay but Zed had known once he’d made the call that he was in danger.

  “How are you coping with being in here? You’re not desperate to get out?”

  “It’s all right.”

  There was something about the way Jackson was looking at him that made Zed think a little harder. Could he have fixed this? He knew Zed’s full name. Not difficult to find out where he’d lived in Kent. Zed had told him the date he’d run away and arrived in London. Zed hadn’t mentioned Caspian’s name but how hard would it have been to find out the rest? Zed running on the same day that three girls had been killed in a nearby village? How much did Jackson know?

  There were lots of places Zed could have been sent. A safe house with a family. A secure children’s home. A different Young Offender Institution. But he’d ended up here.

  For a long moment he was torn. He wanted to tell Jackson that Caspian had been set up but he’d promised not to tell anyone. If he did tell the truth, Caspian’s family would implode and maybe Zed would never be forgiven. He wouldn’t tell.

  “You arranged it, didn’t you?” Zed looked straight at him.