The Noble Mr. Prickles

by Ardy

CHAPTER SIX

  The humans were taken to what had to be the giant princess's chambers and placed on a table next to a doll house that to them was large enough to be a mansion.

  "Stay here, little humans," Tabby warned them. "My puppy is on the floor and he'll eat you up if you jump off the table!"

  Tabby ran across the room to a chest near a bed the size of a small mountain. A puppy followed her. It was twice the size of a large elephant and its teeth had to be as big as their swords. They did not want to face that enormous drooling beast, so they obeyed their captor and stayed on the table.

  "What are we going to do now?" Advan asked Javan. "We'll never get that rose petal if we're turned into some child's playthings!"

  "That stupid monkey!" Lazarah spat. "If he hadn't gone after that banana we wouldn't be in this mess! Why Kanaro thought we needed him is beyond me!"

  "If we get out of this alive," Advan said, "I'm going to turn that thing into a coat!"

  Tabby returned with a handful of fabrics and threw it down at the humans.

  "Get dressed!" she told them.

  "We are dressed, you daft girl!" Advan yelled at her. She barely heard him and she shook her head.

  "I don't like those clothes," she said. "Take them off, and give me your little sword thingies too!"

  "We will do no such thing!" Javan shouted.

  Tabby reached down and picked Jack up. She held him in her chubby hand and called her puppy over. She held him by his ankle over the eager dog, just out of reach of his gigantic mouth. Jack screamed, but he didn't struggle. If he broke free of the girl's grip, he would be dog food.

  "Now," she said to Javan, "what were you saying?"

  "Let him go!" Javan said. "We'll do whatever you want!"

  "That's more like it," Tabby said. She put Jack back on the table. The puppy whined in protest. She stood with her arms folded and watched them as they stripped down to their underclothes and laid their weapons on the table. She scooped up the pile of clothes and tossed it in a trash can next to her bed. The weapons she put on an end table, hundreds of feet out of reach.

  "Now," she said, "let's see who gets to wear what."

  She separated the doll clothes into four outfits. She lay a set of clothing in front of each of the warriors and demanded that they dress themselves. She gave Javan a flowing scarlet robe fit for a human sized king. Jack received a costume more fit for a wizard, black robes with gold trim and the emblem of a moon and stars embroidered into it. Both Lazarah and Advan were given extravagant evening dresses, complete with high heels and miniature tiaras that were almost too big for them.

  "You crazy girl!" Advan yelled up at Tabby. "You expect me to where a dress?"

  "Yes, little human thing," Tabby said.

  "I am not a little human thing!" Advan said proudly, "I am a dwarf!"

  "Whatever you are," the girl replied, "you are going to wear that dress or I'll smush you under my foot and feed you to my puppy!"

  "I'll cut your mutt into pieces!" Advan said. He reached for his sword before he realized that it was on the end table a hundred yards away. The little girl looked annoyed with the dwarf, but she made no move to grab him.

  "Advan," Javan said, "put the dress on."

  "I will do no such thing!" the dwarf yelled.

  "You are no help to us if you're dog food," Javan told him, lowering his voice so that the giant princess could not hear him. "Put the dress on and we'll try to figure out a way out of this mess."

  "Oh all right," Advan sighed. He turned to the girl and held up the dress she had given him. "Are you happy, you overgrown-"

  "Don't provoke her, Advan," Jack warned. "That dog of hers looks hungry!"

  The four of them reluctantly put on the dolls' clothes, which were slightly too big for them. Javan and Jack looked all right in their outfits, but it was hard to decide which one of the other two looked more out of place in their dress, Advan, or Lazarah. Neither had ever warn a dress before, at least not that they were willing to admit, and they both looked ridiculous.

  "You look lovely!" Tabby exclaimed. She looked at Advan, "Especially you, you little hairy dwarf thing."

  Jack and Javan had too keep themselves from bursting out laughing at their friends.

  "Now," Tabby said, "Play!"

  "Play?" Lazarah said. "What do you mean?"

  "The evil wizard," Tabby began, then pointed at Jack, "that's you, has taken two poor princesses captive." Pointed at Advan and Lazarah and told them, "You're the princesses. Only the brave prince Thelor, that's you," she pointed at Javan, "can rescue them before the wizard feeds them to his giant puppy! Now, play!"

  "What does she mean?" Lazarah asked the others in a low voice.

  "I think she wants us to act out her little game," Jack said.

  "I am not an actor!" Advan protested. "And I will not be a captured princess!"

  "Advan," Javan said, "just play along. She'll get tired or bored eventually and we can try and escape."

  "Are you ready?" Tabby asked. She scooped up the two "princesses" and put them in a jewelry box that was ten fee tall. She then put Jack next to the box and gave him a toy sword made of wood. She told the two in the box, "Now call for help so Thelor and can save you."

  "Oh help us," Advan said, without enthusiasm. "Save us from the wizard."

  "No, no, no!" Tabby sighed. "You don't sound like you're scared! And you don't sound like a princess!"

  Advan glared at the child. "I am not-"

  "Advan," Lazarah said, "just do it."

  "But I feel ridiculous!" the dwarf said, holding out the hem of his dress for emphasis.

  "So do I," Lazarah told him. "But if we don't humor this child, she'll mash us! Just call out for help, and try to sound like a princess. Like this..." Lazarah moved to edge of the box and called out in a voice so much more girlish than her own, "Please, help us! Please, oh Thelor!"

  Sighing, Advan joined in the call, trying to emulate a woman's voice. "Save me! Oh, mighty Thelor, save me!" He did not quite pull of the woman's voice, but it was sufficient to bring a smile to the giant child's chubby face.

  "Now, Thelor," she said, giving Javan another toy sword, "save the princesses and one of them will be your bride. If you don't save them, the evil wizard will feed them to the puppy!"

  Javan ran at Jack with his wooden sword and the two of them play acted at fighting for a few seconds before Jack dropped his sword and surrendered, hoping to end the game quickly. Tabby smiled, but instead of proclaiming the princesses free, she gave further instructions.

  "Now, the evil wizard casts a spell and turns Thelor into a ballerina!"

  "What?" Javan asked. "He can't do that!"

  "He's a wizard, Thelor," Tabby replied. "Now, you're a ballerina. Start dancing."

  Sounding very much like Advan, Javan said, "Dancing? I thought you wanted me to save the princesses. Now I'm dancing!"

  "It's a spell," Tabby said. "Dance."

  Javan glared at the child and then started to move about the table in awkward jerks. He was not a dancer, never had been, and he was much more graceful with a sword or spear than he had ever been on a dance floor.

  "That's horrible!" Tabby said. "Be more graceful! Be more elegant!"

  Javan tried, putting his arms over his head and trying to twirl on his toes. He fell on his backside and Jack burst out laughing.

  "What?" Advan asked from inside the box. "What's going on out there?"

  "Now," Tabby said, "Thelor figures out how to break the spell."

  "How," Javan asked, eager to stop the dancing.

  Tabby reached down and picked up her puppy. She placed the enormous black beast on the table and held him in place. He caught sight of Javan and began barking eagerly. Had the girl not been holding him he would have pounced on the tiny human warrior.

  "The wizard's spell can be broken if Thelor can get a hair from the tail of his giant puppy!" Tabby proclaimed. "Get one of the dog's tail furs and you can stop dancing."

  At th
at moment, Javan wished that he had never been rescued from the Mad Forester. This girl was just about as crazy and somehow more frightening, not to mention the indignity to which she was subjecting him and his companions. He did not want to approach that dog with nothing but a blunt wooden sword, but it appeared he had no choice. He only hoped that Princess Tabby would not release the dog and stand back to watch as he ate her new toys. He went towards the creature, holding his pathetic weapon in front of him.

  "Did you break the spell yet?" the girl asked.

  "That's what I'm doing right now!"

  "Then why aren't you still dancing?" she asked. "You are still a ballerina until you get that hair!"

  Javan sighed and wished that he actually could crawl inside a giant's head and lay eggs because she would be his first victim. He danced towards the dog, feeling incredible awkward, and the beast began to drool. He was about ten feet from the thing when Tabby did let it go. It bounded towards Javan barking happily.

  "Javan, watch out!" Jack yelled. He tried to run to his mentor to help him but Tabby put a chubby hand in his way and shook her head. Apparently it would not make sense for the wizard to help his enemy against his own pet.

  Javan was quick and he had faced creatures that large before, but usually an animal that size would be slow and clumsy. The puppy was not. It tried to chomp down on him, but he jumped out of the way. The puppy looked confused for a second and then found his prey. It went at him again and Javan jumped, grabbing a hold of the dog's huge floppy ear and climbed to the top of its head. The dog yelped and shook its head back and forth, but Javan held on. Then he got a handful of the thick black fur and yanked as hard as he could, pulling a few strands out. He held it up to Tabby who shook her head.

  "That's not from his tail, silly," she giggled. She seemed to have no idea that she was dealing with actual human lives. If Javan or any of his companions were hurt or killed, she would give it no more thought than the loss of any other toy. "Get it from his tail!"

  Javan looked back at the dog's tail, waving furiously fifteen feet behind him, and began to move towards it, gripping its fur as he crawled along its back. Twice he was almost thrown from it and once the thing tried to bite him off, but Javan hit it squarely on its huge wet nose with his wooden sword. Finally, after about five minutes of struggling, Javan reached the tail and grabbed at the fur. He got a handful and Tabby squealed with glee. The dog yelped again and bit at its tail. Tabby made no move to get him off of the animal's back and he knew that he was on his own.

  He did not know what to do, until he remembered that gigantic and ravenous or not, he was still dealing with just a huge puppy. He yelled for it, catching its attention, and then threw his sword over the edge of the table yelling, "Fetch, boy!"

  The stupid animal went after the tiny piece of wood. Javan jumped from its back just before it reached the edge and went off. Javan hit the table and rolled twice as the puppy hit the floor and began whining.

  "Well done, Thelor!" Tabby exclaimed. "The spell is broken! Now, kill the wizard and save the princesses."

  "Yes!" Advan yelled out in his high pitched princess voice. "Save us!"

  Hoping that Tabby would not insist that he actually kill Jack, he ran at him. Jack raised his sword up, but Javan tackled him, took it from him, and then bumped him on the head lightly with it. Jack pretended to die and Javan looked up at his giant captor for approval. She nodded and then turned the jewelry box on its side spilling out Advan and Lazarah.

  "Now, the princesses are grateful," Tabby said, "and they both give Thelor great big kisses!"

  "What?" asked Advan and Javan in unison.

  "And don't fake it," Tabby warned, "'cause I'll know."

  "I'll go first," Lazarah said, stepping forward.

  "Thank you," Javan said, eyeing Advan warily. Lazarah came to Javan and kissed him lightly on the lips. She had always been attracted to him so it was not too difficult for her to do this, but then came Advan. Tabby bent down and put her face right next to her new toys. She watched eagerly as Advan approached his old friend. Javan, wishing that he was still dancing ballet instead, or even still fighting the giant puppy, bent down and gave the hairy dwarf a quick peck on the cheek.

  "Oh, come on!" Tabby protested. "She's a princess! And look at her! Isn't she pretty?"

  Advan glared at her.

  "Now, kiss the princess," she said, "or I'll get the dog back up here."

  "Javan..." Advan said, sounding afraid for the first time since Javan had met him.

  "I'm sorry, old friend," Javan said, and he bent forward.