The Noble Mr. Prickles

by Ardy

CHAPTER EIGHT

  Princess Tabby returned to her bedroom late that night and her new toys were waiting for her. She immediately went to the doll house to make sure that they were still there. The doll house had a big porch with pieces of metal furniture. The warriors sat there, looking up at her and trying to look happy to see her.

  "You want to play?" Javan asked her.

  "Play?" she asked. "Now?"

  "Why not?" Lazarah asked. "We're ready to play!"

  "It's late," she said. "My daddy says I have to go to bed."

  "Your daddy?" Javan asked.

  "Donovan!" she said proudly, "The King of the Giants! And he would be angry with me if I stayed up too late. So, I'm sorry, little human thingies, I have to go to sleep. Now, go inside and don't look out the window. I have to but on my pajamas."

  The humans went into the doll house.

  "I guess we have to try again in the morning," Jack said. "But at least we've confirmed that she's the king's daughter. She must have access to the throne room."

  "If we could just convince her to take us there," Lazarah said. "If we escape, we could get there on our own if we have to, but it would be a whole lot easier if she took us in with her."

  They kept talking for a few minutes before Advan noticed something outside the front room window and almost screamed. Princess Tabby was staring in at them. He pointed to the giant face and the others fell silent.

  "Do you think she heard us?" Jack asked.

  "I doubt it," Javan said. "She doesn't look upset."

  "Hey, little human thingies!" the girl called. "Come on out! I'm dressed now."

  "What does she want now?" Lazarah asked as they went back out to the table top.

  The giant was in a nightgown that could cover Orvan's entire palace. She looked down at her new toys as if considering something. Finally, she centered her gaze on Advan and smiled.

  "You," she said, "my little hairy princess."

  "What?" Advan asked.

  "I want to sleep with one of my new dolls," she explained, "and I have chosen you!"

  "Why me?" Advan asked, obviously not thrilled by the proposal.

  "'Cause you're my favorite," she said. She reached down to pick him up.

  Advan took a step back. "Now wait a minute, you overgrown brat!" he shouted. "I put up with dressing up in this ridiculous outfit! I put up with being your damsel in distress! I even put up with kissing... him..." he glared at Javan as if the kiss was his idea, "but I am not a doll! I will sleep in my own bed, thank you very much!"

  Tabby looked hurt. The humans expected her to get angry and to threaten to mash them or feed them to the puppy, who was standing at her feet looking hungrily up at the table. They did not expect her to start crying. Large tears that would fill buckets at a time fell from her huge eyes and she began to wail.

  "Advan," Jack said, with a trace of amusement in his voice, "you've hurt her feelings."

  "I don't care about that monster's feelings!" Advan barked.

  "She's a child, Advan," Lazarah said. "Sure she's almost fifty feet tall and she'll probably feed us to her dog in the morning, but she's still just a little girl."

  "And I think she likes you," Jack said, laughing.

  "Well, I don't like her!"

  The girl cried even harder and turned away from the table. The three humans looked at the dwarf.

  "What?" he asked.

  "Maybe we can use this," Javan said.

  "Use what?" Advan asked.

  "The child obviously likes you," Javan said. "Maybe you can convince her to take us to the throne room without us trying to trick her somehow."

  "And how would I do that?" Advan asked.

  "Well, first of all," Lazarah said, "you have to be a little nicer to her. Be her friend. Act like you care about her. Then maybe she'll do something for you."

  "Do I have to?" the dwarf asked. "This is the stupidest thing I've ever-"

  "Yes, Advan," Javan said. "You have to, unless you want to spend the rest of your life in this doll house while the Kingdom of Stran overcomes Dargod."

  Advan sighed and looked over at the crying child. She was no longer wailing loudly, which was a big relief on the humans' ears, but she was whimpering and sniffling back tears. The dwarf walked to the edge of the table. He cupped his hands to his mouth and called out:

  "Tabby! Tabby!"

  The girl turned around. She looked down at Advan expecting further hurtful words.

  "What?" she asked coldly.

  "I'm..." the dwarf looked at his companions with exasperation, but they all just nodded at him. He turned back to the giant princess. "I'm sorry, Tabby," he said. "If you want me to sleep with you, I will."

  Tabby's face lit up. She bounded over to the table and picked the annoyed dwarf up in her chubby hand. He tried to say something, but she brought him to her enormous lips, giving him a kiss that soaked his entire head with her slobber. As she went over to her bed, Advan again shot glares at his companions, who could not help but laugh.

  "Now, the rest of you go to bed," she told the humans. "We're going to play all day tomorrow!"

  "You heard the lady," Javan said. He and the others went back into the doll house.

  "I sure hope this works," Lazarah said as they went in. Jack turned around before going in and yelled out to Advan.

  "Good night!"

  Tabby lay down in her mountainous bed, holding the dwarf gently in her right hand. She looked at him and smiled.

  "You're such a pretty princess," she told him. "Tomorrow I'm going to braid your hair!"

  "I can't wait," Advan grumbled.

  "And we have to do something about that beard," she said. "No princess should have a beard like that!"

  "You'll do no such thing!" he yelled at her.

  "What?" she said, her voice threatening.

  "I mean," he said, "oh boy! I hate this ugly beard."

  "Good," she said, apparently satisfied. "Now let's get some sleep. I want to play for a few hours before Daddy's guests arrive."

  "Guests?" Advan asked.

  "Oh yes," she said. "Some people from the Kingdom of the Southern Giants are coming tomorrow. Daddy wants me in the throne room to greet them. Southern Giants," she chuckled, "they're not giants at all! I'm as tall as any of them and I'm just nine years old! They shouldn't be called giants at all."

  Advan was not paying attention to her as she made fun of the Southern Giants, who indeed only grew to be about fifty feet tall. They were almost the dwarfs of the giant kingdoms. He was too interested in the news that she was expected to be in the throne room the very next day. An opportunity had presented itself much sooner than he had anticipated.

  "Hey, Tabby," he said, "what time are you going to the throne room?"

  "After lunch," she said. "Oh don't worry, we'll have plenty of time for my games!"

  "Can you take me with you?" he asked.

  She frowned at him. "I'm not allowed to take toys to the throne room. Daddy would have a fit."

  "Please," Advan said, hating the pleading sound of his own voice. "I really want to see the throne room."

  "I'd get in trouble," the girl said.

  "I'll hide!" he said. "Put me in your pocket and I won't make a sound. Please!"

  "Oh, all right," she said. "But you better be good or else-"

  "I know," he said, "you'll mash me up and feed me to your dog."

  "Good night, my pretty hairy princess," Tabby said yawning. "I'll see you in the morning."

  Still gripping her favorite doll, Tabby rolled onto her side and closed her eyes. A few minutes later she was snoring contently, blowing putrid smelling breath in Advan's face and drooling gallons of slobber onto her pink pillow.