Alien Outcast

by Tracy St. John

  It was official. Nako would be allied to the Basma, the biggest traitor to Kalquor in living memory. But it was the only way to save the empire, so he’d suck it up.

  At least he didn’t have to go as far as Piras and Kila had. Nako was grateful for that. Kalquor would survive, if they could put aside their differences with the monster long enough to fend Bi’is off.

  In the end, Kalquor’s continued existence was all that mattered.

  Chapter 15

  Ulof stood in his clan’s quarters, staring morosely at the empty sleeping mat and the hooks on the ceiling. Nako and Terig hadn’t bragged about having Piper, but they’d supplied enough hints to set the Imdiko’s imagination on fire.

  Lucky bastards. Why do I have to be so screwed up that I never have such opportunities? Opportunities I’d fuck up, no doubt.

  He coughed against the tickle in his throat that had been bothering him for the last day or so. The door announce went off, and he jerked. Half-hopeful, half-disbelieving, he called, “Door, open.”

  It slid to admit Piper. Ulof drew a sharp breath, then offered her a startled smile.

  She looked at him curiously. “Why are you so surprised? I told you I’d be right over.”

  “I don’t know. I figured when you said you had to find something before joining me here—I thought you were just trying to get out of being around me.”

  As he spoke, her gaze wandered up at the hooks overhead. When he voiced his suspicions that she might have preferred to avoid him, she gave him her full attention once more. She scowled. “What are you talking about? I’ve been around you most of the day, at least when I wasn’t checking on Ob. If I was tired of you, I could have abandoned you half a dozen times.”

  “Yeah. I suppose that’s true.” Ulof shifted from one foot to the other. He wished he’d found some other place for them to meet, but she’d insisted on privacy. There were damned few places on a raider that allowed for such.

  He still shouldn’t have suggested the sleeping room. She might think he wanted sex from her. Which he did. But he didn’t intend to bother her for it. Unless she acted interested.

  She wouldn’t.

  What the fuck is wrong with me?

  He was uncomfortable, which put him in danger of snarling at her. Piper was the last person in the universe Ulof wished to snap at. Dealing with her was often far pleasanter, even easier, than dealing with other people who weren’t Nako or Terig. She had funny quirks that Ulof imagined he understood. Some moments she was pushy, sometimes she was fierce. Often, she was unsure and put herself down.

  A lot like me. I almost feel as if she wouldn’t laugh or curse at me, if I tried to get as close as Nako and Terig have.

  Not that he would ever be stupid enough to attempt such a thing. Putting the impossible out of his mind, Ulof cleared his throat. “What was it you needed me to see? You seemed pretty excited.”

  A smile fit to unhinge his knees lit up her face. “Ob mentioned there were a few basic programs and old codes that Tragooms had filched from Kalquor over the years. He thought they would still be active for nonsecurity tutorials. With our proximity to Laro Station, I guessed maybe there would be a few live library links I could access. And there were. Ta-da!”

  With a flourish, Piper handed Ulof a file drive. He glanced at the small rectangle in his palm and then at her. “Um…thanks?”

  “Well, go ahead. Take a look and see what you think.” She made shooing motions towards the computer set in the wall.

  Anyone with sense would know that’s what Ulof should be doing. If I wasn’t so anxious about her being in my sleeping room with me, I’d have figured it out too.

  He was too pathetic to live.

  Ulof lumbered to the computer and plugged the drive in. Several program titles scrolled in a column. Before he had a chance to read them, Piper squashed up against his side, derailing his thoughts in an instant.

  Soft. Warm. Smells like a flower. Ancestors, help me for being a fool, but I want her.

  His heart thundering, he lowered his gaze to take in her grin. Not for him, though. Her eyes were on the computer readout, and her voice rose above the roar of his pulse in his ears as she pointed to the program titles.

  “Check it out: introduction to terraforming theory, basics of terraforming, general applications, practical exercises—it’s a whole beginner’s program. You can study here on the raider and start working on your dream, Ulof.”

  A lead weight dropped into his stomach, quelling the rush of arousal. For a moment fury filled his senses, but it was gone in a second, replaced by bitter sorrow.

  He couldn’t be mad at Piper for dangling the terraforming programs before him, a fantasy as impossible as the one in which they’d end up tangled in the sleeping mat’s sheets. Not when she wriggled with delight for having found the tutorials that would allow him to pursue his dream—had his brain been capable of absorbing the material.

  He concentrated on the kindness she’d meant to show. She’d done something nice for him, or at least, she’d tried to. The consideration offered a small spark of warmth amid the ocean of misery.

  “Thank you, Piper. It was nice of you to track down and load these files for me. But I’m not smart enough to do any of this stuff. My disability—it’s too much to overcome.”

  Her enthusiasm didn’t dim for an instant. “No, it’s not. Sure, it will take you longer than most people to figure it out and retain what you learn, but you’ll get there.”

  “When I’m two hundred, maybe. If I’m lucky.” His stomach hurt, and he coughed hard enough to send it into rebellion. He wondered how he could convince her to leave before he threw up.

  “You’d better start working on it, then. You haven’t got a moment to lose.”

  Ancestors, she actually believed this was a good idea. Ulof swallowed against the nausea rising in his throat. Breathe.

  He managed control over his stomach, always sensitive to emotional upset. When he was able, he said in a flat tone, “Terraforming is too hard. I’m too dumb.”

  “Is that why you can’t cook worth a damn?”

  Ulof reacted to the sneer in her voice, losing control and shouting, “I’m an excellent cook! You shovel in my food as if you’re afraid someone might steal it from you, so don’t tell me it’s not good.”

  Piper erupted into laughter. Yet it wasn’t mean humor. Her gaze was bright and beautiful, and she set it on him with—affection?

  She cupped his cheek in her hand. “I was being sarcastic, silly. You are an amazing cook, Ulof. You fought to become that, didn’t you? Even though it was difficult. Despite having to start from scratch over and over, for weeks on end. You kept at it until the knowledge stuck. You didn’t give up until you were an expert.”

  She was right. Ulof recalled those early months in prison, the endless days of Dramok Asam walking him through food prep, cooking, and baking.

  “Damn it, kid, how many times do I have to show you how to season meat? Just like yesterday, and the day before that, and the week before that. When you die, Ulof, I’m cutting off your head and using that sieve of a skull to drain my vegetables.”

  Though a murderous monster—literally, since he’d slaughtered his entire squad for no reason other than he’d woken up in a bad mood one day and they’d gotten on his nerves—Asam had been patient as hell when it came to teaching Ulof. He’d insulted the Imdiko, had snickered at the slow pace at which he had learned, but he’d never turned him away from the prep area. And in the end, the teaching had stuck.

  Ulof stared at the list of terraforming programs on the floating computer screen. The sick feeling in his stomach had been replaced with yearning. If only…

  “Terraforming is a lot harder than dumping leftovers in a pot and calling it a stew.”

  “You’ve already played around with the idea. Didn’t you tell me you put together over a hundred simulated worlds?”

  “The computer games I’ve messed about with don’t come close to the real thing.”


  Piper shrugged. “Maybe not. This will take longer to become good at than cooking did. But you’re not dumb. And it’s what you want.”

  “What I want and what I can have are galaxies apart.” Terraforming. A beautiful woman who thought him capable of more than he was. Ulof couldn’t help but wish he could make such things happen.

  “You fight with others who tease you for your disability. Why do you let yourself get away with being cruel about it?” Piper’s sweet smile didn’t waver, but there was no mistaking the challenge in her eyes. “Go on, Ulof. Prove yourself wrong. Even if it takes you a couple of centuries, it would be worth it.”

  Ulof realized he was caressing the computer commands, as if his subconscious desires had gained control of his fingers and were trying to open a program without his noticing.

  This is what calls to me. More than cooking, and I made that happen. He imagined standing on a green landscape that had once been barren rock. Fields full of growth, as far as the eye could see. To bestow life where there had been none. Similar to his games, but something he could actually touch.

  Just a single blade of grass he could pluck from the ground and hold in his hand. Just that would be amazing. He’d become worthwhile if he could grow one blade of grass where none had ever grown before.

  Piper’s hand covered his, transmitting warmth that shot straight to his chest. “As long as you do your best, you have nothing to be ashamed of. All you need is time and a willingness to put in the effort.”

  “You’re certain of that?”

  “I am. You’re amazing, Ulof. I wouldn’t say so if it weren’t true.”

  “So are you.” The words popped out before he could censor himself, before he remembered she wouldn’t care how she affected him.

  “Not really.” A shadow darkened her eyes, the shade of guilt dimming her good-natured attitude.

  Nako had told him about the death of Piper’s brother, about all the bad things that had happened in her life, awful circumstances that she’d somehow taken to be her fault. How she asked to be punished for her supposed misdeeds.

  We’re a pair, us two broken people.

  And not only him and Piper. Terig and Nako had been through their own versions of hell, past hurts that continued to affect their lives.

  My clan has begun to heal since we found each other. Can Piper heal? Can I possibly do anything to help her find her way back to happiness?

  Ulof doubted it with all his soul. However, glimpsing her pain made his mouth open, brought the clumsy words tumbling from his lips.

  “I wish you could see yourself as I do. So compassionate. Caring for those who most wouldn’t think twice about.”

  She chuckled a little at that. “Tragooms rarely offer anyone reason to appreciate them.”

  “I wasn’t talking about Ob. I mean, it was probably second nature for you to search for those programs for me. You give without hesitation, don’t you? Especially to those you feel sorry for.”

  “I don’t pity you, Ulof. If that’s what you’re thinking, it’s not the case. You deserve the chance you won’t give yourself.”

  “I wish you saw me as more than that.” He fumbled for the words, but they wouldn’t come. He stared at Piper, his subpar brain jamming and refusing to budge, to allow him to say the right things.

  “How should I see you? As a man who, despite a temper born of hurt and frustration, shows a core of integrity? Of strength that defies all the restrictions placed before him?”

  Ulof gaped. She couldn’t be serious. He knew how most saw him. Intellectually slow. Aggressive. An ex-convict who destroyed at the slightest provocation.

  Piper pushed her slight body against his, shoving until he turned toward her. Mother of All, her breasts were pressed against him. Sliding up his chest as she rose on her tiptoes, her mouth aiming for his.

  He still couldn’t believe she intended to kiss him, not until her lips fluttered against his. Even then, he couldn’t find the strength to respond. Only when her tongue wet the slit between his lips did Ulof move.

  He crushed her to himself, animal desire making him perhaps too forceful. Not with lust though, at least not at first. It sprang from a more innocent hunger to touch someone who cared for him, who saw something good in him. He raged with the need to find shelter in kindness.

  Ulof opened to Piper, and her tongue forged into his mouth, setting his senses alight. Erotic longing rushed in then, making him hard and aching. He felt all too well the slender figure in his arms, her body so vulnerable to him, so helpless should he decide to take her, to bludgeon her with his craving.

  With a low cry, Ulof jerked away, releasing Piper. “You need to leave. We can’t do this.”

  The glazed look in her eyes faded, replaced by confusion. “Why not? I’ve been with your clanmates. I want you too, Ulof.”

  I want you too, Ulof. The statement echoed in his brain, and a sob of desperate yearning broke from his throat.

  He shook his head desperately. “You couldn’t. Not me. I can’t—Piper, I’ve never had sex with a woman. I don’t know how to be with one. I’m afraid I might hurt you.”

  On the heels of his admission, Ulof burned with humiliation. While sexual encounters with Kalquorian and Earther females were a rarity for any raider crewman, Ulof wasn’t aware of any who’d not had some sort of intimate familiarity with women of other alien species.

  “Ulof. Am I your first? What a gift that is.”

  He cringed as she came close, not trusting her tender expression. “It’s not a gift. It’s stupid. I haven’t got any idea of what I should do with you.”

  “Hush. I’ll show you what to do. Come here.”

  He huddled, hiding his face behind his long hair. He didn’t miss the irony of how he, the violent dual-breed brute Ulof, cringed before a woman he towered over.

  But I could injure her. She’s so small!

  “Ulof, look at me. Come on, sweetie. My husband had no experience before we were married either. He was as much of a virgin as I was. Neither of us had a clue, and let me tell you, we were a confused mess on our wedding night!”

  Ulof peered at her through strands of hair. “Your husband wasn’t as big as me, though, was he? He couldn’t crush you or break a bone by accident, could he?”

  “Goodness, you and I are going to have sex, not a death match. Ulof, come here. It’s going to be okay.”

  He wasn’t convinced, but he let her tug him to the sleeping mat. He sat gingerly on its edge next to her.

  “That’s better.” Piper sounded cheerful. “Sit up and get your hair out of your face. Calm down and understand that it’s going to be fine.”

  Breathe. Wouldn’t Nako and Terig be in hysterics if they saw him right now?

  But it was Piper’s continued encouragement that saved him, not the shame of his clanmates finding out how he’d crumpled in terror when given the chance to make love to a beautiful Earther. Her prodding brought Ulof out of his slumped posture.

  “That’s better. Since you’re concerned about hurting me—and I have no fear that you would do such a thing—you just sit and watch for now. Okay?”

  Piper got off the mat and stood before him. His heart nearly stopped when she began pulling her dress up.

  The shift had displayed her magnificent legs to advantage, and Ulof hadn’t tired of filling his gaze with those. Yet as her naked sex and breasts came into view, he forgot all about those lithe limbs.

  He couldn’t decide where to settle his regard. The pink-tipped mounds on her chest pointed at him, as if to command his attention. Attention he wished to give wholeheartedly, because her breasts invited him to weigh them in his palms, to discover if they would mold to his grip as they looked they must.

  But her womanhood, nestled behind swirls of dark blond hair, was as riveting a sight. The rosy slit peeked at him, the entrance to her warmth. A place he wished he’d dare to go.

  She smiled saucily at him as she loosened the strip of cloth where she sheathed her
knife. Turning away to lay them on a shelf, she presented her buttocks to him. Ulof froze. Deep pink welts striped the exciting flesh. Nako’s welts.

  She liked pain. She desired punishment. His Dramok had licked his lips as he described the encounter.

  Ulof didn’t realize he’d reached for her until his finger traced over one of the lines. Piper’s breath caught, and he froze. She looked over her shoulder at him. Their eyes locked, and he felt an almost physical bolt from the connection.

  “More,” she whispered. “Harder. Rub where he marked me.”

  He obeyed, rough as he performed a clumsy massage. Her eyelids fluttered, and she thrust her ass toward him. “Yes. Like that.”

  A tremor broke out over her body, and Ulof worried he hurt her too much. Then the scent drifted into his nostrils, a perfumed, earthy aroma that made his cocks jerk. He snarled, primitive need awakening.

  Careful. A little hurt. Maybe light markings. No damage. Control, Ulof. Stay in control.

  He paused kneading to pull her closer, so he could rest his cheek on a curved cheek. Ancestors, her skin was silk. He nuzzled against it, swallowing a cough. She moaned encouragement as his stubble abraded her stripes, moving against him.

  Ulof’s pawing turned eager, gripping her with more and more demand as he indulged Piper’s softness. He burrowed against her harder, licking along the trails his Dramok had left for him to follow. Then biting, just enough to set his own stamp upon the Earther woman, just enough to elicit her cry of excitement.

  “Yes! Ulof, yes!”

  The smell that came from her, heady and arousing, drove him crazy, making the blood rush swift and hot through him. Panting, Ulof swung Piper around forcefully, turning her to face him, putting her pussy—the source of that overwhelming fragrance—before him.

  Guided by instinct, Ulof grabbed her, tossed her onto the mat, a small voice in the back of his mind reminding him to be careful and not injure her.