Slam: A Colorado Smoke Novel

by Andee Michelle

  I freeze. The moment their eyes swing to mine, they realize I heard what he said, and I see his hand is strategically placed on her flat belly.

  “Layne, we were going to tell you when you got back from the wedding this weekend,” Garrett rushes out, stepping closer to me and then quickly stopping when Chrissy reaches out and grabs his shoulder.

  I look at them for a moment and realize they are both looking at me like I’m going to explode, which confuses me. Why would I be upset?

  “That’s wonderful news,” I tell them honestly. “How far along are you?”

  They both slowly sit down, stunned silent for too long, and I clear my throat to break them out of their stares.

  “You’re not upset?” Garrett asks.

  “Why would I be upset? You’re a great father, and Gracie will love being a big sister,” I reply with a huge smile. Babies are always a blessing, whether they are planned or not.

  Chrissy smiles big before responding, “I’m eight weeks tomorrow.”

  I limp over to her and hug her gently. “Congratulations, Chrissy. You’re going to be a great mom.”

  She hugs me to her tightly and then clears her throat before pulling away.

  “I’m gonna go get a water. Do y’all want anything?” she asks, not meeting Garrett’s eyes.

  “I’ll take a water too,” I reply, watching Garrett’s face.

  She smiles, leaving the room before Garrett turns his attention to me.

  “All right, spill it. What is going on? Why would I be mad, Garrett?”

  “This conversation is going to be really embarrassing, so I feel like I should apologize in advance,” he says with a smirk. “You’ve always known I’m sort of an ass, so this won’t come as a shock to you.”

  Now I’m intrigued.

  “What did you do?”

  “Well, a few months ago, you and I were having a conversation I felt turned into something else. It sort of became flirty. I felt so guilty about it and I told Chrissy.”

  My brain is on overload trying to figure out what conversation he is talking about. I can’t remember the last time I flirted with him, and it sure as hell wasn’t within the past few years.

  “What are you talking about?”

  He rolls his eyes and throws his head back, staring up at the ceiling.

  “Look, you’re a beautiful woman. You always have been, and that night we were discussing Gracie’s new teacher, I’d had a few drinks and crossed the line. I said some things I shouldn’t have and you laughed and blew it off,” he says quickly.

  I remember the conversation. He’d tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and told me he’d always thought I was beautiful when I laughed. The moment had made me uncomfortable and I’d laughed and then cut the conversation short. I’d forgotten about it until this moment.

  “I remember.”

  “Well, when I woke up the next morning, I felt like a total dick, and I couldn’t get it off my mind. So, I told Chrissy. At first she was furious and asked me if I was still in love with you and if I wanted us to get back together. That’s why you didn’t see her for a while. We sort of had it out.”

  The fact he said “still in love” with me throws me for a loop because Garrett and I had never told each other we loved each other. Had he been in love with me?

  “Anyway, she was mad at me for a little while until I told her I would always have feelings for you because you are Gracie’s mother, but I’m not in love with you.”

  “You guys are okay though, right? I mean, everything is back to normal now?”

  “Yes. Your reaction to Chrissy’s pregnancy was exactly what she needed to let it go I think. So, I guess I can thank you for that.”

  “I’m confused. Explain please.”

  “She’s had a hard time believing you’re not in love with me.” He chuckles. “She has always said that. She has told me a hundred times she can’t believe you’d let me walk away so easily.”

  I stare at him for a moment and can feel myself getting angry.

  “Well, is she aware I didn’t ‘let you’ do anything?” I bite out. “Why would I chase you? You made it completely clear I was not what you wanted.”

  His face changes instantly, and I regret the words I spewed.

  He starts to retort, but I hold my hand up. “Nope. We’re not doing this.”

  I can see the tick in his jaw as he clenches and unclenches it several times.

  “I’m happy for you, Garrett. You deserve to be happy, and so does Chrissy.” I walk back over to Gracie’s bed and sit down, pulling her hand into mine.

  “I’m going to go find Chrissy,” he whisper-shouts, and I nod in response, not meeting his eyes.

  I really am happy for them. The only thing that seems to cause a tiny bit of my heart to clench is that Chrissy will get the “happy to be having a baby Garrett” and all the attention she deserves while she’s pregnant, while I got the “call me when you have an appointment or go into labor Garrett” who I wanted to shank. Am I bitter about it? Maybe a little.

  Maybe someday I’ll have that.

  Someday.

  I deserve that kind of happiness.

  Someday, someone will come along who will be that person for me.

  Bryant

  WE TOOK THE pennant race and we’re officially heading to the World Series.

  It’s surreal. My entire career has come down to this moment.

  We’re going to the World Series!

  And the first person I want to tell when I get off this plane is Layne. Although she probably already knows because she’s a real baseball fan.

  The moment the plane lands on the tarmac, I’m fishing out my keys. I need to see her, even if I can’t touch her. And I do want to touch her. A lot.

  I pull my phone from my bag as I make my way to my car. The second I’m behind the wheel, I shoot her a text. The bar is middle ground. I can’t touch her there, which keeps us both safe from my bullshit.

  Me: You working tonight? I just landed and was gonna come have a beer.

  I hit Send and throw the phone in the cup holder. Making my way toward her bar, I feel like I’m stalking my own phone because I can’t stop glancing at it, waiting for her to respond.

  By the time I pull up in front of her bar more than thirty minutes later, I’m convinced I should turn around and go home. She obviously doesn’t want to see me if she’s not responding.

  I go to the message I sent her, considering sending another one, when I notice it doesn’t say “Delivered.” Which means her phone is probably off or she doesn’t have service.

  I don’t see her car in the parking lot, but I really could use a beer so I make my way inside, once again pulling my hat low.

  I only make it halfway to the bar before one of the guys Conor was chatting up last time we were here notices me and starts heading in my direction.

  As soon as I step up to the bar, the guy claps me on the shoulder, causing me to flinch and tells the bartender he’s buying my beer.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I chuckle, trying not to be an asshole. “I appreciate it though.”

  “Nope, I’m buying. Congratulations, man. You guys definitely deserve to be heading to show. It’s the least I can do.”

  He pays for my beer, says congratulations again and walks away.

  Now that kind of fan appreciation I can handle.

  I slowly sip my beer, watching the TV screens for updates. When I peer back down at my phone and notice the text to her still hasn’t gone through, I turn to the bartender.

  “Is Layne not working tonight?” I ask nonchalantly.

  She smirks as her eyes meet mine.

  “No, Mr. Nash. She was supposed to be off all weekend for a friend’s wedding,” she starts.

  “Oh shit, don’t call me Mr. Nash. That’s my dad,” I laugh out. “Just Bryant will do.”

  “Right. Well, Bryant, as I was saying—” She laughs before continuing. “—she was supposed to be off all weekend for a fr
iend’s wedding but had to come home early because her daughter got hurt.”

  “Gracie,” I whisper, my heart lodging in my throat. The bartender’s eyes shoot to mine.

  “I knew it!” she shouts. “You’re totally into Layne. I told her. She wouldn’t listen.”

  I roll my eyes at her but respond honestly. “Is it that obvious?”

  The smile on her face lights up the room. She cares a great deal about Layne, I can tell.

  “Gracie was admitted to St. Luke’s for observation. That’s where you’ll find Layne,” she says under her breath a few seconds later while acting like she’s doing dishes. “You didn’t hear it from me.”

  “Thank you,” I reply quickly, throwing a twenty on the bar and making my way to the exit.

  “Good luck, Nash!” yells the guy who bought my beer. I wave but don’t stop. I have to get to Layne and Gracie.

  THE SECOND MY car is in park, I’m racing for the doors. The gift shop has stuffed teddy bears in the window, so I immediately head that way first. Something to make her smile. When I see a big white bear with my jersey on it, I know that’s the one. Layne said she loves baseball.

  The bartender didn’t tell me what room Gracie was in, but as soon as I step into the lobby, an orderly recognizes me and rushes to my side.

  “Mr. Nash,” he stumbles out. “Are you okay? Is there something I can help you with?”

  “Yes, my friend’s kid was hurt and she’s been admitted here. I need to find them,” I rush out.

  “Sure, sure. What’s her name?”

  “Grace Scott,” I blurt quickly, but realize Scott might not be here last name.

  “We don’t show a Grace Scott as a patient.” He continues to tap away on the computer and finally says, “We’re in luck. There is only one Grace admitted to the children’s unit right now. Grace L. Thompson. Fourth floor, room 427.”

  We both race for the elevators. Once we are both inside, he turns to me. “You can’t tell anyone I helped you or I’ll get fired,” he whispers.

  He can see my face in the reflective doors, and I meet his eyes so he knows I heard him. When the elevator doors open, I rush out without a backward glance, but I can hear the orderly talking to a nurse who is getting into the elevator with him.

  I should send that guy tickets for next season.

  I find room 427 and quietly push the door open in case she’s sleeping. What I find takes the breath out of me.

  Gracie is curled up on her side with little wires all over her. Taking in the scene makes my eyes mist over and a lump form in my throat. I’ve never even met this little girl, but I’m horrified to see her like this. Layne’s baby is hurt.

  I take a step toward the bed but stop when her eye lids flutter. Shit.

  I watch as her eyes drift open slowly, taking in her surroundings, and I see the panic set in when she realizes she’s alone, until her eyes meet mine.

  “Bryant Nash,” she whispers. She starts to sit up but stops and puts her hand over her mouth. I jump into action, grabbing a little tub off the table beside her and pushing it to her as she throws up.

  “I’m sorry,” she sobs. “Did I throw up on you?”

  “No, sweetie, you didn’t. You made it into the little tub thingy. Are you okay?” I ask, taking the tub from her and placing it in the sink by the door.

  I walk over to the chair beside her bed and plop down on it. She hasn’t taken her eyes off of me, and I can tell she has no idea why I’m here. I hand her the bear in my hands and she instantly smiles.

  “You brought me a Nash teddy bear,” she mumbles, her eyes trained on the bear.

  “I did. Do you like it?” I ask with a smile.

  “Well, I would’ve liked it more if it was Conor’s bear,” she says quietly, darting her eyes up to mine, widening when she realizes what she said. “I’m sorry. That was rude. Please don’t tell my mom and dad I said that.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I pat the hand she is clutching the bear with.

  “It’ll be our little secret,” I whisper and immediately her tears dry. “I’ll see what I can do about getting you one of Conor’s jerseys. How about that? He is my best friend, you know?”

  Her face lights up and she moves slowly to lay on her side again. “Are you going to throw up again?” I ask her.

  “No, I’m really tired. I’m gonna take a nap,” she says through a yawn. She curls the teddy bear into her body and is asleep within seconds.

  I sit back down and look around the room, noting a couple of backpacks in the corner.

  The door squeaks a tiny bit and my eyes dart to Gracie to see if it woke her. My instinct to protect her, this child I’ve just now met for the first time, is foreign to me. I’ve never been attached to a kid before. Ever.

  Gracie doesn’t even stir, and when my eyes swing back to the door, I find a shocked and limping Layne and a very irritated man who has his hand on Layne’s shoulder.

  Shit. Does she have a boyfriend?

  “What are you doing here?” she whispers.

  The man drops his hand from her shoulder and takes a step toward Gracie.

  “Who the fuck are you and why are you in my daughter’s room?” he growls and takes several steps in my direction.

  I hold my hands up and walk to the door.

  “Sorry, man. I came by to bring Gracie a stuffed animal and to see if Layne needed anything. She woke up when I walked into the room and recognized me. I was going to leave, but then she got sick.” I pause and point to the sink before continuing. “She fell back asleep a few seconds before you both walked in.”

  “I thought we agreed you’d tell me if you started dating someone and were going to introduce him to Gracie,” he whisper-shouts at Layne. Layne rolls her eyes before responding.

  “This is Bryant Nash, Garrett,” she says in a low tone, throwing her arm out, gesturing to where I’m standing. “I said I’d tell you if I ever started dating someone seriously enough I’d wanted to introduce Gracie to him. Bryant is a friend, and she knows who he is because he’s Bryant Nash.” I can tell by the tone of her voice that she’s pissed, although she’s trying to keep her cool.

  “Wait,” Garrett’s eyes swing to mine and widen. “You’re the baseball player Layne is obsessed with?”

  The smile on my face is probably on the creepy side. Obsessed with, huh?

  “Garrett,” Layne growls a warning. “Don’t.”

  “Wait, I’d like to hear more about this obsession,” I say, laughing.

  “Shut up, Nash,” she bites out.

  “Why are you limping?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was trying to run in heels and twisted my ankle.”

  Apparently she’s not in the mood to talk to me. “Okay, so I’m gonna go,” I say, pointing to the door.

  “I’ll walk you out,” she grinds out.

  “It was nice to meet you, Nash,” Garrett says as I make my way through the door. I smile and wave at him, watching his eyes sparkle with mischief.

  “What are you doing here?” Layne barks at me. “How did you even know I was here?”

  “Is she going to be okay?” I ask her, ignoring her questions.

  Her face softens and she nods, tears coming to her eyes. “She has a bad concussion,” she chokes out. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. This day sucks.”

  I reach my hand out to hers, and she takes it. I close the small distance between us and wrap my arms around her. Feeling her sag into my arms without hesitation confirms she needs this hug. When her body starts to shake, I know she’s trying to hold it together.

  “I’ve never been so scared in my life. She had a seizure, for Christ’s sake! I thought I was going to have a heart attack,” she sobs into my chest. I hold her as close as I can, letting her get it all out. Her arms wrap around my waist, and my hold on her tightens a little. She’s falling apart and holding on to me for strength. This strong, amazing woman is letting me in.

  “She’s gonna be okay though, right? I mean
, she was lucid enough to tell me she’d rather have Conor’s bear instead of mine.” I chuckle into her hair.

  She pulls back enough to look me in the eye. “She did not!” she whispers, holding back a smile.

  “Don’t tell her I told you. She was horrified she’d said it. Made me promise not to tell you and her dad because she’d get in trouble for being rude.” We both laugh, and I’m thankful to watch her face lighten a little bit.

  “She is a big McLoughney fan,” she says with a smile, before pulling away from me completely and putting some distance between us. “Tell me why you’re here.”

  I study her face and see the wall coming up.

  “When I heard about Gracie, I figured you could use a friend.”

  She doesn’t respond for a minute, staring at me like she’s waiting for there to be more to the explanation.

  “How did you ‘hear’ about it?” she asks, using her fingers to make quotation signs.

  “Well, I went to the bar when we got home and you weren’t there. I asked around.”

  She smirks before shaking her head and mumbling, “Candi.” She starts for the elevators, and I assume it’s time for me to go. “I bet she loved you showing up.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I retort with a smile.

  I push the button for the elevator and turn back to her. Before I can say another word, she hugs me awkwardly and then takes a step or two back.

  “Thank you for being a friend and coming to check on us.” Her words are quiet, and I sense she’s nervous about what she’s about to say. “I realized something yesterday as I watched Garrett comfort his fiancée.” She takes a deep breath and brings her eyes to mine. “I want love in my life. For a really long time, I’ve convinced myself I need to focus on Gracie and that I’m okay being alone. But the truth is, I was only using it as an excuse. I was scared. I am scared. But I think I’m finally ready to let someone in. To let someone love me.” She stops when the elevator dings, announcing its arrival.

  “Good luck at the World Series, Nash.” Her sad eyes meet mine before turning away and walking back to Gracie’s room. This feels so final. Like she just told me goodbye.