MA06 Little Myth Marker

by Robert Asprin

  “Perhaps it would help if we started by defining the problem,” Chumley urged. “Now, as I see it, we have two problems: Markie and Bunny. We’re going to have trouble figuring out what to do about Bunny until we find out what Don Bruce has up his sleeve, and we’ve got to come up with a way to keep Markie from totally disrupting our lives until her father comes to pick her up.”

  “If he picks her up,” my partner corrected helpfully.

  “I’ll admit, I still don’t know how you did so well in that game to end up with Markie in the first place,” the troll said, cocking one outsized eye at me and ignoring Aahz.

  “Dumb luck... with the emphasis on dumb.”

  “That’s not the way I heard it,” Chumley smirked. “Whatever your method was, it was successful enough to make you the talk of the Bazaar.”

  “What!?” Aahz said, sitting up in his chair again.

  “You would hear it yourself if you weren’t spending all your time sulking in your room,” the troll winked. “When I went out after little sister today, it seemed that all I was hearing about was the new dragon poker champion of Deva. Everybody’s talking about the game, or what they’ve heard about the game. I suspect they’re embellishing upon the facts, from some of the descriptions of the hands, but there are those who are taking it all as gospel.”

  I remembered then that when the game broke up, the other players had been very enthusiastic about my playing. At the time, I had been worried about the secret of my night out reaching Aahz (which, you’ll recall, it did before I got home). The troubles with Markie and Bunny had occupied my mind and time ever since, so I hadn’t stopped to think of other potential repercussions of the game gossip. Now, however...

  Aahz was out of his seat, pacing back and forth. “Chumley, if what you’re saying is true... are you following this, partner?”

  “Too bloody well,” I growled.

  That got my partner to pause momentarily to roll his eyes.

  “Watch yourself,” he warned. “You’re starting to talk like Chumley now.”

  “You want I should talk like Guido instead, know what I mean?”

  “I don’t understand,” the troll interrupted. “Is something amiss?”

  “We don’t have two problems,” Aahz announced. “We’ve got three! Markie, Bunny, and the rumor mill!”

  “Gossip? How can that be a problem?”

  “Think it through, Chumley,” I said. “All I need right now is to have a bunch of hotshot dragon poker players hunting me up to see if I’m as good as everybody says.”

  “That’s only part of it, partner,” Aahz added. “This could hurt our business and public images as well.”

  I closed my eyes and sighed.

  “Spell it out for me, Aahz. I’m still learning, remember?”

  “Well, we already know your reputation at magic has been growing fast... almost too fast. The competition hates you because you’re taking all the prime assignments. No big deal! Professional jealousy is the price of success in any field. There comes a time, however, when you can get too big too fast. Then it isn’t just your rivals you worry about. Everybody wants you taken down a peg or two if for no other reason than to convince themselves that your success is abnormal... that they don’t have to feel bad for not measuring up.”

  He paused to stare at me hard.

  “I’m afraid this dragon poker thing just might push you into the second category. A lot of beings excel here at the Bazaar, but they’re only noted in one field. The Geek, for example, is a recognized figure among the gamblers, but he doesn’t have any reputation to speak of as a magician or merchant. People can accept that... work hard and you rise toward the top of your group. You, on the other hand, have just made a strong showing in a second profession. I’m afraid there’s going to be some backlash.”

  “Backlash?” I echoed weakly.

  “It’s like I’ve been trying to tell you: people aren’t going to want you to get too much above them. At the very least they might start boycotting our business. At most... well, there are ways of sabotaging other people’s success.”

  “You mean they’re going to...”

  “That’s enough!” Chumley declared, slapping his palm down on the table loudly.

  It suddenly occurred to me that I had never seen Chumley mad. It also occurred to me that I was glad our furniture was strong enough to withstand even Aahz’s tirades. If not, the troll would have destroyed the table just stopping the conversation.

  “Now listen up, both of you!” he ordered, leveling a gnarled finger at us. “I think the current crisis has gone to your heads. You two are overreacting... snapping at shadows! I’ll admit we’ve got some problems, but we’ve handled worse. This is no time to get panicky.”

  “But...”

  “Hear me out, Aahz. I’ve listened to you bellow often enough.”

  I opened my mouth to make a witty comment, then, for once, thought better of it.

  “Markie is a potential disaster, but the key word there is potential. She’s a good kid who will do what we say... if we learn to watch what we say to her. The same goes for Bunny. She’s smart as a whip and...”

  “Bunny?” I blurted, forgetting myself for a moment.

  “Yes, Bunny. It’s been a long time since there’s been anyone around here I could discuss literature and theater with. She’s really quite intelligent if you bother to talk to her.”

  “We are talking about the same Bunny, aren’t we?” Aahz murmured.

  “The one who comes across dumb as a stone,” Chumley confirmed grimly. “Just remember how I come across when I’m putting on my Big Crunch act... but we’re wandering. The subject is problems, and I maintain with a little coaching Bunny won’t be one.”

  He paused to glare at us.

  “As to the rumor of Skeeve’s abilities at dragon poker, I’ve never in my life heard anyone get as alarmed as you, Aahz. Sure, there are negative sides to any rumor, but you have to get pretty extreme to do the projections that have been voiced just now.”

  “Hey, Boss!” Guido called, sticking his head in the door. “The Geek’s here to see you.”

  “I’ll handle this,” Aahz said, heading for the reception area. “You stay here and listen to what Chumley has to say. He’s probably right. I have been edgy lately... for some unknown reason.”

  “If I am right, then you should hear it, too,” the troll called after him.

  “Talk to me, Chumley,” I said. “That’s probably the closest you’ll ever hear to an apology from Aahz, anyway.”

  “Quite right. Where was I? Oh, yes. Even if Aahz’s appraisal of the reaction to your success is correct, it shouldn’t have too much impact on your work. The small fry may go to other magicians, but you’ve been trying to cut down on unimportant jobs anyway. When someone is really in trouble, they’re going to want the best available magician working on it... and right now, that means you.”

  I thought about what he was saying, weighing it carefully in my mind.

  “Even if Aahz is just a little right,” I said, “I’m not wild about having any ill feeling generated about me at the Bazaar. Admiration I don’t mind, but envy makes me uneasy.”

  “Now that you’ll just have to get used to,” the troll laughed, clapping a hand lightly on my shoulder. “Whether you know it or not, that’s been building for some time... long before this dragon poker thing came up. You’ve got a lot going for you, Skeeve, and as long as you do, there will be blokes who envy it.”

  “So you really think the dragon poker rumors are harmless?”

  “Quite right. Really, what harm can come from idle gossip?”

  “You know, Chumley, you aren’t wrong very often. But when you miss, you really miss.”

  We looked up to find Aahz leaning in the doorway.

  “What’s wrong, Aahz? You look like someone just serv
ed you water when you were expecting wine.”

  My partner didn’t even smile at my attempted humor.

  “Worse than that,” he said. “That was the Geek downstairs.”

  “We know. What did he want?”

  “I was hoping he had come to pick up Markie for her father...”

  Aahz’s voice trailed off to nothing.

  “I take it he didn’t?” I prompted.

  “No, he didn’t. In fact, the subject never came up.”

  Almost without thinking, my partner’s hand groped for his oversized goblet of wine.

  “He had an invitation... no, make that a challenge. The Sen-Sen Ante Kid has heard about Skeeve here. He wants a showdown match of head-to-head dragon poker. The Geek is making the arrangements.”

  “JUST LET THE energy flow.”

  “That’s easy for you to say!”

  “Did I stutter?”

  “You know, Hot Stuff, maybe it would be better if I...”

  “Quit talking and concentrate, Massha.”

  “You started it.”

  “And I’m finishing it. Focus on the candle!”

  If some of that sounds vaguely familiar, it should. It’s the old ‘light the candle’ game. Theoretically, it builds a student’s confidence. In actuality, it’s a pain in the butt. Apprentices hate the candle drill. I did when I was an apprentice. It’s a lot more fun when you’re on the teaching end.

  “Come on, Skeeve. I’m getting too old to learn this stuff.”

  “And you’re getting older the longer you stall, apprentice. Remember, you came to me to learn magic. Just because we’ve gotten distracted from time to time doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten completely. Now light the candle.”

  She turned her attention to the exercise again with a mutter I chose to ignore.

  I had been thinking hard about my conversations with Aahz and Chumley. The whole question of what to do about the challenge from the Kid was touchy enough that for once I decided to seek the counsel of my advisors before making a commitment I might later regret. Wiser heads than mine were addressing the dilemma at this very moment. Unfortunately, aforesaid wiser heads were in total disagreement as to what course of action to follow.

  Aahz was in favor of refusing the match, while Chumley insisted that a refusal would only inflame the situation. He maintained that the only sane way out would be to face the Kid and lose (no one seriously thought I would have a chance in such a game), thereby getting me off the hot seat once and for all. The main problem with that solution was that it involved voluntarily giving up a substantial amount of money... and Aahz wouldn’t hear of it.

  As the battle raged on, I thought about the earlier portions of our conversations. I thought about parenthood and responsibility. Then I went looking for Massha. When we first met, Massha was holding down a job as court magician for one of the city-states in the dimension of Jahk... that’s right. Where they hold the Big Game every year. The problem was that she didn’t really know any magic. She was what is known in the field as a mechanic, and all her powers were purchased across the counter in the form of rings, pendants, and other magical devices. After she saw us strut our stuff in the Big Game, she decided to try to learn some of the non-mechanical variety of magic... and for some unknown reason picked or picked on me to provide her with lessons.

  Now, to say the least, I had never thought of Massha as a daughter, but she was my apprentice and therefore a responsibility I had accepted. Unfortunately, I had dodged that responsibility more often than not for the very reasons Aahz had listed: I was unsure of my own abilities and therefore afraid of making a mistake. What I hadn’t done was give it my best shot, win or lose. That realization sparked me into a new resolve that if anything happened to Massha in the future, it wouldn’t be because I hadn’t at least tried to teach her what she asked.

  I was also aware that I wanted to learn more about any problems Chumley and Tananda were having, as well as getting a better fix on just who or what Bunny was. At this moment, however, Tananda was absent and Chumley was arguing with Aahz, putting that objective on hold. Bunny was around somewhere, but given a choice between her and Massha, I opted for addressing old obligations before plunging into new ones. Ergo, I rousted out Massha for a long-overdue magic lesson.

  “It’s just not working, Skeeve. I told you I can’t do it.”

  She sank back in her chair dejectedly and scowled at the floor. Curious, I reached over and felt the candle wick. It wasn’t even warm.

  “Not bad,” I lied. “You’re showing some improvement.”

  “Don’t kid a kidder.” Massha grimaced. “I’m not getting anywhere.”

  “Could you light it with one of your rings?”

  She spread her fingers and made a quick inventory.

  “Sure. This little trinket right here could do the job, but that’s not the point.”

  “Bear with me. How does it work? Or, more important, how does it feel when it works?”

  She gave a quick shrug.

  “There’s nothing to it. You see, this circle around the stone here moves, and I rotate it according to how tight a beam I want. Pressing the back of the ring activates it, so all I have to do is aim it and relax. The ring does all the work.”

  “That’s it!” I exclaimed, snapping my fingers.

  “What’s it?”

  “Never mind. Keep going. How does it feel?”

  “Well,” she frowned thoughtfully, “it sort of tingles. It’s like I was a hose and there was water rushing through me and out the ring.”

  “Bingo!”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Listen, Massha. Listen closely.”

  I was speaking carefully now, trying hard to contain my excitement over what I hoped was a major breakthrough.

  “Our problem with teaching you non-mechanical magic is that you don’t believe in it! I mean, you know that it exists and all, but you don’t believe that you can do it. You’re working hard at overcoming that every time you try to cast a spell, and that’s the problem: You try... You work hard. You know you’ve got to believe, so you work hard at overcoming your disbelief every time you...”

  “Yeah. So?”

  “It means you tense up instead of relaxing the way you do when you’re working your rings. Tensing blocks the flow of the energies, so you end up with less power at your disposal than you have when you’re just walking around. The idea of casting a spell isn’t to tense up, it’s to relax... if anything, it’s an exercise in forced relaxation.”

  My apprentice bit at her lower lip. “I don’t know. That sounds too easy.”

  “On the one hand it’s easy. Viewed a different way, one of the hardest things to do is relax on cue, especially if there’s a crisis raging around you at the time.”

  “So all I have to do is relax?” she asked skeptically.

  “Remember that ‘hose’ feeling you get when you use the ring? That’s the energies being channeled through you and focused on your objective. If you pinch off a hose, how much water gets through?”

  “I guess that makes sense.”

  “Try it... now. Reach out your hand and focus on the candle wick as if you were going to use your ring, only don’t activate it. Just tell yourself that the ring is working and relax.”

  She started to say something, then changed her mind. Instead, she drew a deep breath, blew it out, then pointed a finger at the candle.

  “Just relax,” I urged softly. “Let the energies flow.”

  “But...”

  “Don’t talk. Keep your mind on the candle and hear me like I’m talking from a long way off.”

  Obediently, she focused on the candle.

  “Feel the flow of the energies... just like when you’re using the ring. Relax some more. Feel how the flow increases? Now, without tensing up, tighten that
flow down to a narrow beam and aim it at the wick.”

  I was concentrating on Massha so much I almost missed it. A small glow of light started to form on the candlewick.

  “That’s it,” I said, fighting to keep my voice calm. “Now...”

  “Daddy! Guido says...”

  “Ssshh!!!” I hissed. “Not now, Markie! We’re trying to light the candle.”

  She paused in the doorway and cocked her head quizzically. “Oh, that’s easy!” she beamed suddenly and raised her head.

  “MARKlE!! DON’T...”

  But I was too late.

  There was a sudden flash of light in the room, and the candle lit. Well, it didn’t exactly light, it melted like a bag of water when you take away the bag. So did the candle holder. The table lit, though... briefly. At least one corner of it did. It flared for a moment, then the fire died as abruptly as it had appeared. What was left was a charred quarter-circle of tabletop where the corner used to be. That and a table leg standing alone like a burnt-out torch. The fire had hit so fast and smooth the leg didn’t even topple over.

  I don’t remember reaching for Markie, but somehow I had her by the shoulders shaking her.

  “WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR??” I said in my best paternal tones.

  “You... you said... you wanted the... candle lit.”

  “That’s lighting a candle?!?”

  “I still have a little trouble with control... but my teacher says I’m doing better.”

  I realized I was having a little trouble with control, too. I stopped shaking her and tried to calm myself. This effort was aided by the fact that I noticed that Markie’s lip was quivering and she was blinking her eyes rapidly. It suddenly dawned on me that she was about to cry. I decided that, not knowing what would happen when she cried, I would do my best to stay ignorant by heading her off at the pass.

  “Umm... that was a Fire Elemental, right? Did you learn that at Elemental School?”

  Getting someone to talk often serves to stave off tears... at least, it had always worked on me.