A Beautiful Day for a Wedding

by Charlotte Butterfield

  Eve couldn’t stop a giggle escaping. ‘And how did you know?’

  ‘I saw it when you weren’t trying to dodge me, by lunging under tables or hurling yourself behind curtains.’

  Eve’s smile faded, and embarrassment took over. ‘You noticed that too.’

  ‘Look Eve, I’m really sorry if me moving back here has put you in a difficult position. I thought that maybe enough water had passed under the bridge for none of what happened back then to matter any more, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry if I misjudged it and you’re still angry at me.’

  She wasn’t angry. She hadn’t been angry after the first couple of months had passed in New York. She was reflective. She was wistful, for what might have been had he stuck to the plan and they’d have started their new life together. She felt a lot of different emotions towards Ben. But she wasn’t angry.

  ‘Don’t be daft, I’m not cross at you, it’s really good to see you. I just didn’t know that you were back, and it brought up some old feelings, and I managed those feelings by acting like a complete div and commando rolling under a table every time I saw you.’

  Ben smiled. ’Some of those moves were pretty impressive.’

  ‘Thanks.’

  Ben ran his toe along the riser of the first step. He’d said what he rushed after her to say, and now a whole book of unspoken words hung in the air.

  ‘Why did you move back, Ben?’

  ‘It’s complicated.’

  ‘I would have been surprised if it wasn’t.’

  ‘Do you have time for a drink?’

  ‘Yes. But can I get changed back into my gym gear? I’m feeling a bit, um, exposed, in this get up.’

  ‘Sure, although we’re going to be the weirdest dressed couple in the pub, with you in a sweaty tracksuit and me in a tuxedo jacket and shorts.’

  Eve looked down at herself, then at him and laughed. He was right. ‘Ok fine, I’ll stay as I am, but try and keep your eyes on my face.’

  Ben threw his head back and laughed. ‘Say what you really mean Eve.’

  After a quick deliberation over which way they should walk, they set off. Despite Ben having said that he would open up about what happened to make him run off back then, as they walked they talked about everything but. They chatted about how the summer evenings in London made the rest of the year’s rain worth it, they commented on all the blue plaques they passed, the amount of cyclists on the road and they took a picture for a Japanese couple. But it wasn’t until they’d found a table outside the pub on the pavement, Eve had a large white wine in front of her and Ben had taken a larger than average gulp of his pint that they started the conversation that she’d waited four years to have.

  ‘I’m really pleased you went to New York,’ he said.

  ‘I wasn’t going to,’ Eve said truthfully. ‘I’d barely left Brighton before, let alone lived by myself in a huge, new city.’

  ‘What was it like?’

  ‘Honestly? It was really hard to begin with, I was terrified. I thought everyone around me was a drug dealer or going to stab me. But then I started work at the magazine and it got a bit better.’

  ‘How long did you stay?’

  ‘Two years. I moved back Christmas before last, family stuff—’

  ‘Oh no, are your folks ok?’ Ben asked, concern making his brow wrinkle. He’d spent a lot of time in her mum and dad’s kitchen having a tea or beer while his washing spun round in their machine, so Eve knew that it wasn’t just a polite enquiry, he genuinely meant it.

  ‘Mum is, Dad’s not. He was hit by a drunk driver, and didn’t make it.’

  ‘Oh God Eve, I’m so sorry. I genuinely had a lot of time for your dad.’

  ‘Thanks, but I seem to remember you calling him a bit of a bore.’

  ‘Only when we all went camping together and he lectured us for hours about camping etiquette, and always tying a flag to the top of your tent so you can find it easier, to pack your matches in a plastic waterproof container, to take into account the wind direction when building your campfire so it doesn’t blow into your tent.’

  ‘All vital survival skills,’ Eve said defensively.

  ‘Absolutely. How many times have you been camping since then?’

  ‘Um, that would be none.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘Well, we’ll be fully prepared next time we do.’ Not together, obviously Eve wanted to add, but didn’t.

  ‘But I’m really sorry to hear that Eve. So that’s when you moved back?’

  ‘Yes, I came straight back, with the intention of going back to New York a month or so later, but Mum was in such a bad way, and so I had to stay. There was a job opening on the English edition of the bridal magazine I worked for in New York, Becca needed a new flatmate and everything seemed to stack up for me to stay in London. Anyway, I thought we were here to talk about you?’ Eve took a sip of her drink and sat back on the bench, making it clear that her turn with the mic was over.

  ‘What do you want to know?’ Ben asked.

  ‘Why didn’t you come to America with me?’

  ‘To answer that I need to go back a bit.’

  Chapter 22

  The last few rays of sun were dappling their table in a warm light, and they both instinctively turned their heads appreciatively to it. Within half an hour the sun would set, and the magic would be gone.

  ‘Are you hungry?’ Ben asked Eve. ‘We could order something?’

  She was. And she desperately wanted to say yes, share a platter of something, pretend that he hadn’t monumentally let her down, and spend an evening catching up, but Eve was also very aware that she probably wasn’t going to like what Ben was about to say, and didn’t want to be stuck eating a plate of cured meats with him before going home.

  ‘No, I had a lot of popcorn at Tanya’s.’

  ‘Poor Luke and his usherette tray,’ Ben said, giving a rueful smile at the fate of his friend.

  ‘Poor Luke nothing. He knew what he was signing up for. Tanya hasn’t changed a bit since uni.’

  ‘Neither’s Becca,’ Ben said. ‘She’s still as free-spirited as ever.’

  Eve smiled. ‘You say free-spirited, I say lovably disorganised.’

  ‘And you two share a place?’

  ‘Yes, in Clapham. We live above a jazz pub. You’re in Wimbledon?’

  ‘For the moment, it’s all still very new being back after four years in New Zealand. I’m not sure where I’ll settle.’

  Him mentioning New Zealand was the perfect lead-in for her to offer a prompt. ‘So, are you going to start this long and complicated story then or what?’

  Ben took another long gulp of his beer and said, ‘Do you remember the girlfriend I grew up with back home who I split up with when I moved to England?’

  ‘Kate?’ Eve said.

  ‘Yes, Kate. How did you remember that?’

  Eve didn’t want to say how she’d withered inside each time her name had come up, even though Ben was adamant Kate was a family friend and nothing else. A couple of months into their first year of uni Kate had travelled all the way from New Zealand to see Ben, and she’d stayed for a couple of days in their house, sleeping in his room. What made it worse was quite how lovely Kate was. She had an infectious laugh that had everyone giggling along, no matter how bad the joke was. Kate was so upbeat, so optimistic, so, jolly, but in a quiet, unassuming way that made women really want to be her friend. But she was gone as quickly as she’d arrived and they had never really spoken about her again.

  ‘Well, just as we were about to move to New York together, I got a letter.’

  ‘From Kate?’

  ‘From her parents.’

  ‘Saying how she was totally bereft when you two broke up and that you had to leave straight away to mend her broken heart?’

  ‘Asking me to come back as soon as possible.’

  ‘So you left me for her? She snapped her fingers and you went.’

  ‘It wasn’t like that Eve,’ Ben said quie
tly.

  ‘But you did cancel our trip and pack up your flat in the night and disappear to go to her?’

  ‘Yes but—’

  ‘And you never came back, or wrote to explain, or gave a second thought about New York.’

  ‘It was complicated.’

  ‘So you said. It’s not sounding particularly complicated to me. It sounds like a simple choice. Eve or Kate. Heads says Eve, tails Kate, oh will you look at that, its tails. Best pack up my stuff in the middle of the night and run straight to her.’

  ‘There’s no point trying to explain to you if you’re going to be like this.’

  ‘I have tried to give you the benefit of the doubt Ben, I have concocted so many reasons in my head as to why you might leave me like that, walk away from all our plans, but they were always far more dramatic and easier to swallow than you just dumping me for your ex-girlfriend. You’re really not the man I thought you were.’

  ‘Well, you’ve gone massively down in my estimation too, now we’re talking about it.’

  ‘What the hell does that mean? I have done nothing wrong!’

  ‘No, nothing wrong, just a bit sordid and cheap. I saw them Eve, I saw those two bolshy ushers go to your room after the wedding last weekend. And then I saw the empty champagne bottle and glasses outside your room the next morning. The Eve I used to know wouldn’t have done that.’

  Eve stood up, downed her wine, and said, ‘Goodnight Ben.’

  She thought he might run after her. If it was a movie he would have done. But there were no pounding footsteps behind her, no panting declarations of regret, no hug of reconciliation. Eve had reached the steps down into the tube station, and she had no choice but to go down them. Alone.

  Becca was already at home and in her stripy pyjamas when Eve came back.

  ‘I was getting worried,’ Becca said. ‘Where did you get to?’

  Eve slumped down on the sofa next to her. ‘I went for a quick drink with Ben.’

  ‘I thought you might have done, after he dashed out after you.’

  ‘What happened after I left?’

  ‘I left pretty soon after you. Tanya was like a woman possessed, and I didn’t want to be around such negativity so I came to find you. You were completely within your rights to say what you did though, she was well out of order.’

  ‘That’s what Ben said too.’

  Becca nudged Eve’s foot with her own. ‘Did you two kiss and make up?’

  ‘In no way whatsoever.’ Eve sighed, she was exhausted and felt on the verge of tears that she’d much rather shed in her room alone. ‘He told me that he left me to go back to Kate, his ex-girlfriend in New Zealand.’

  ‘The pretty girl who laughed a lot?’

  ‘That’s the one.’

  Becca looked confused. ‘But when I asked Ayesha why he came back, she said that it was complicated. So there must be more to the story.’

  ‘Complicated, complicated, everything’s bloody complicated. Is that all Ayesha said?’

  ‘She was very secretive, she said that it wasn’t her story to tell. But he’s obviously not with her now if he’s here and she’s not.’

  Eve shook her head. ‘I don’t know Becs, it’s nothing to do with me anymore is it, Ben Hepworth’s life decisions. He can come and go as he pleases, it’s none of my business.’

  ‘Is that all he said, that he left you for her? Bastard.’

  ‘Yep. But then I didn’t really give him a chance to say more, the last thing I want to hear is more details about their great love that he couldn’t be without.’

  The best friends sat in companionable silence. ‘I wish I hadn’t invited him to my wedding now,’ Becca ventured finally.

  Eve nodded. ‘You and me both.’

  ‘Maybe he won’t come after tonight,’

  ‘That’ll be one less hay bale.’

  ‘I invited the pub landlord downstairs today, and gave him a plus one.’

  ‘For fuck’s sake Becca.’

  ‘I know.’

  Chapter 23

  Uncharacteristically Becca was awake before Eve the next morning, sitting at their fold out table in the corner of their living room. ‘Have you seen this?’ she said, as Eve stumbled bleary-eyed into the room clutching a mug of tea.

  ‘Your laptop?’

  ‘This.’ Becca swivelled the screen around for Eve to see it. Eve winced at the brightness of it before allowing her eyes to focus on the words. It was her latest column on the Venus website. The one which she’d loosely based on Ayesha’s wedding, but carefully shrouded the details in disguise.

  ‘No,’ Eve replied nonchalantly, with her heart in her mouth. ‘What is it?’

  ‘This new wedding column that everyone’s talking about. It’s quite funny, but this one sounds just like Ayesha’s wedding.’

  ‘Let me see,’ said Eve, scanning the words to make sure her eyes moved left to right, to give the impression to Becca that she was reading it for the first time. ‘No, look, it says this couple had swans, no mention of flamingoes or scarecrows.’

  ‘But look, the best man broke his foot, that’s like Amit breaking his nose.’

  ‘That’s hardly the same thing.’

  ‘The bride wore cowboy boots, and Ayesha wore sparkly trainers.’

  ‘Most brides have unconventional elements to their day.’

  ‘It’s more than that though, it reads just like Ayesha’s. I bet the writer of this column was a guest at Ayesha’s, or even snuck in uninvited to take notes on it in order to make fun of it.’

  It was too early for Eve to create an eloquent response that would convince Becca that this was ridiculous. Try as she did, the words just weren’t forming in her brain, so she just said, ‘Nah, that’s crazy talk.’

  ‘Hmm … I’m not convinced. Maybe I’ll send it to Ayesha when she’s back from honeymoon and see what she thinks.’

  ‘No, don’t do that, honestly Becs, you’re reading way too much into it. Think about how many people get married every Saturday in July, loads and loads. Ayesha’s wedding was a little odd, but so are loads of weddings, and I should know.’ As soon as the last few words were out of her mouth Eve wanted to swallow them again. Now was not the time to be setting herself up as the guru of all weddings, she was trying to distance herself from the Venus column, not draw attention to the fact that writing about weddings was how she paid the rent. ‘I’d better get a move on, or I’m going to be late.’

  All the way into work the argument she’d had with Ben kept circling around Eve’s mind. In the first few months after moving to New York, she’d had the desire to find solace in the new, the unexplored, just to save herself the misery of walking familiar footsteps without him. Eve knew that back home, drinking in the same cafes and bars she’d been to with Ben, sitting in the same cinema she’d shared popcorn with him in, wandering alone through the same parks they’d ambled hand in hand through, everything would be tinged with a little sadness. And Ben was still alive, would it have been different had he died? She certainly didn’t feel that she had the same right to grieve as a widow, but his absence was just as keenly felt. Just knowing that he was out there in the world, drinking in a bar, seeing a movie, walking in a park, doing all of those things without her by his side used to give her a sharp stab of pain. Now that Eve knew that his leaving wasn’t because of some massive tragic incident, and that he’d simply had enough of her – it made all her months, years, of wondering ‘what if’ seem like such a sham, such a monumental waste of time. He chose Kate and didn’t look back, while she was still rebuilding her life, four years later, one brick at a time.

  Eve was waiting in the downstairs café for her morning latte when her phone buzzed.

  ‘Don’t say no straight away.’

  ‘Morning Amit, no.’

  ‘I said don’t say no straight away!’

  ‘I didn’t, I said Morning Amit first.’

  ‘Open your mind, then your mouth.’

  ‘I should have that as a tattoo.�
��

  ‘Eve, be quiet. Ayesha told me about your incident with Andrew and Bobby, I’m sorry they were such losers. We were old school friends, but they get a bit drunk and lose all common sense and propriety.’

  ‘No need to apologise, I’m flattered, in an odd way. Anyway, aren’t you on your honeymoon, can’t this wait?’

  ‘Ayesha and I were just talking about it in the pool and I want to make it up to you. I have another friend, Bryn, who couldn’t make it to the wedding as he was on duty, he’s a doctor at the children’s hospital, and I think you and he would really hit it off. He’s single, and I’d really like to hook you guys up.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Eve! I said, don’t say no.’

  ‘Look, I think it’s lovely that you think you need to fix me up and get me married off, but I am genuinely very happy just being me.’

  ‘We all know you are, but would it hurt to have an evening of fun with an attractive man who saves children’s lives, whose name begins with B?’

  ‘Oh my God Amit, not you too!’

  ‘What? I’m not a believer in all this psychic crap at all, but it’s very strange how all that woman’s fortune telling is coming true.’

  ‘Really? And how is your move to Africa coming along?’ Eve jibed.

  ‘I got an offer to launch an office in Nairobi. I’m thinking about it.’

  ‘Are you kidding me?’

  ‘Ayesha doesn’t know yet, I’m telling her tonight. So look, Eve, go out with Bryn. What’s the worst that can happen? You have a crappy date that you can turn into a book one day or that you can talk about at dinner parties.’

  ***

  Becca pulled her hair back into a ponytail in the hall mirror and pulled her cyclist’s reflective vest over her head. ‘If I don’t see you later before your date with Bryn the dashing doctor, have an awesome time and let me know if you’re staying away,’

  That was impossible. Aside from the fact that Eve had forgotten to buy a new razor, there was no way that she was going to sleep with Bryn on the first date. She’d had a one-night stand once before in New York and it was an unmitigated disaster involving bald private parts (his), a glass eye (his) and tears (hers), so she wouldn’t be doing that again in a hurry.