The Simple Life
Page 23
“Brooklyn, I need you to concentrate and push,” the doctor orders.
“I’m a little busy here, Doc. I think one of my kids snuck into an operating room to play in a body cavity,” I mutter. “Can we just… pause this thing for a minute?”
Another contraction rips through my body and I can’t help it; I scream at the top of my lungs, throwing in a “fuck this bullshit” and a “I will murder all of you assholes if you don’t get this thing out of my right now” just for good measure.
“It’s fine! Everything is fine!” Mrs. Sherwood shouts from the doorway over my screams of pain. “Mia was chewing on the end of a red pen and it broke and exploded all over her. No blood, no foul. She didn’t draw any blood.”
She laughs at her own dad jokes, and I’d laugh too that my father has rubbed off on her, but there is currently a small human being trying to chew its way out of my uterus.
“Why don’t you girls go back down to the cafeteria and find your grandfathers?” Katherine suggests, as she runs her hand soothingly over the top of my head.
Grace immediately yanks Mia back, her eyes squeezed tightly closed, and practically runs away, as Mrs. Sherwood gives me an encouraging smile and races after them.
“Remember what that looked like, Grace! This is what happens when you let a boy touch you!” I shout after them.
Clint just raises his eyebrow at me with a smile.
“Shut up. She’s thirteen. She needs to learn now,” I tell him, groaning loudly through another contraction and pushing as hard as I can.
It only takes two hours of the worst pain in my entire life before Clint Allen Sean Hastings, or Cash, comes screaming into the world.
Thank God I finally managed to remember that Clint’s father’s name was Sean long before they first came home to visit us. Not only because it would have been a little awkward, but because I don’t think Clint Allen Old Man Hastings is a good name for a little boy.
Katherine and Ember left a little while ago to give half the town that has been sitting out in the waiting room the good news, leaving Clint and me alone with our son.
Our son. I have a son. Holy shit.
Clint is lying next to me in the hospital bed, with his chin resting on my shoulder, staring down at the most beautiful baby in the world, who’s wrapped in a blanket, fast asleep in my arms.
“I still don’t like kids,” I whisper softly. “But your sisters are pretty cool. And I really, really like you. Don’t be too much of an asshole, okay?”
Leaning forward, I kiss the top of his soft head full of dark brown hair the same color as mine. Cash smirks in his sleep, his father’s dimples indenting both of his cheeks.
“You’re incredible, you know that?” Clint asks softly.
I turn my head to look at him.
“Really? A compliment? How boring,” I quip with a smile.
“Just keeping you on your toes, fancy pants. Give me an hour for this euphoria to wear off, and I’ll tell you that you look like shit.” He smirks.
“Ahhh, much better.”
Tucking my head into the crook of his neck with a smile, we stare down at our sleeping son.
At least I’ll never be bored, living in this tiny town, with my nerd-turned-cowboy, running a newspaper and raising three kids. Clint promised to give me a simple life, and he did his best to make that happen, but craziness seems to follow me wherever I go.
My life is amazing.
The End
Tara writes in a bunch of different genres because her brain is completely ridiculous. There’s a lot of screaming, things are sometimes on fire, and there’s usually a squirrel wearing a sweater running around. She’s got a little something for everyone: Romantic Comedy, Romantic Comedy/Mystery, Romantic Suspense, Psychological Thriller, Emotional Contemporary Romance, and New Adult Drama.
You can check out all of her books here:
tarasivec.com
You can also stalk her all over social media:
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Recipes
*I did not create the yummy goodness I mentioned in this book, nor am I claiming ownership of them. These were my mom’s recipes, and I have no clue where she got them. I’m sure you can find them somewhere out on the interwebs. If you find the original creator, make sure you thank them! Enjoy!
Monkey Balls
• 2 cans Pillsbury Flaky Layers Buttermilk biscuits
• ½ cup sugar
• 2 ½ tsp cinnamon
• 1/3 cup melted butter
Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
2. Generously grease 8x4 inch loaf pan (do not use dark-coated pan)
3. In small, shallow bowl, combine cinnamon and sugar; mix well.
4. Separate dough into 10 biscuits; cut each into quarters.
5. Dip each quarter into melted butter; roll in cinnamon/sugar mixture.
6. Arrange in greased loaf pan.
7. Bake at 400 degrees for 19 – 27 minutes.
8. Cool for 2 minutes.
9. Loosen edges; remove from pan. Place on serving plate.
10. Serve warm.
Candy Corn Cupcakes
• 1 package white cake mix
• 2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
• Yellow & red food coloring
Candy Corn Glaze
• 1 bag candy corn, 11-ounce size
• 1/4 cup water
Instructions
1. Prepare cake mix as directed on package, adding vanilla.
2. Divide batter in half.
3. Tint one batch yellow with 1/3 teaspoon yellow food color. Tint second batch orange with 1/4 teaspoon yellow food color and 1/8 teaspoon red food color.
4. Fill each paper-lined muffin cup 1/3 full with orange batter. Gently add yellow batter on top of orange batter, filling each muffin cup 2/3 full. Bake as directed on package for cupcakes. Cool cupcakes on wire rack.
Candy Corn Glaze
1. Reserve 1/4 cup of candy corn then place the remainder of the 11-ounce bag in a medium saucepan. Pour in 1/4 cup water and heat on low for about 10-15 minutes. You will want to candy corn to be melted completely.
2. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly. (You will want to cover cupcakes while glaze is still warm, but not hot.)
3. Using a spoon, drizzle glaze over frosting.
4. Decorate tops of cupcake extra candy corn pieces.
Pumpkin Dump Cake
• 1 package yellow cake mix
• 1 5oz. can pumpkin
• 1 can evaporated milk
• 3 eggs
• 1 ½ cup sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon
• ½ tsp salt
• ½ cup chopped pecans
• 1 cup melted butter
Instructions
1. With a hand mixer, mix together pumpkin, evaporated milk, eggs, sugar, cinnamon and salt.
2. Pour mixture into a 9x13 baking dish.
3. Sprinkle bag of yellow cake mix evenly over top of mixture.
4. Sprinkle pecans evenly over top of yellow cake mix.
5. Drizzle melted butter over top of everything.
6. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 50 – 55 minutes.
7. Serve warm with whipped cream or vanilla ice cream on top.
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