by Judy Duarte
“Maybe so, but it didn’t mean that I kept away from the wrong crowd. Or that I didn’t roam the city streets after curfew.” Zack had always had a rebellious side that his uncle just couldn’t seem to tame. Especially when the guy wasn’t available on weekends or in the evenings.
“What kind of trouble?”
He leaned forward, placing his hands upon his knees, the scars from a hundred fights still adorning his knuckles. “I was a big kid. And I matured early. So I didn’t have any trouble buying booze or being served liquor, even when I was still a teenager.” He glanced up at her, gave her a wry grin. “It made me pretty popular in my crowd.”
“I imagine it did.” Her voice didn’t seem to hold any disgust.
Hadn’t she made a judgment yet? Well, there was still plenty of time for that.
“One night, a couple of us went into a bar and got a little loud, I guess. But that’s about the size of it. Then this ass…I mean, jerk, who was stinking drunk and obnoxious, picked a fight with us. I hit him. A few minutes later, he went down for the count.”
“Passed out?” she asked.
Zack watched her expression, saw her eyes widen, and he searched for that disgust. The frown.
She hid it pretty well.
“I didn’t kill him, if that’s what you’re thinking. He had a heart attack.”
He again glanced at her face, studying her expression, her demeanor. And although she didn’t smile, she didn’t curl up her lips in disapproval, either.
“I met Harry Logan that night. He was one of the cops who’d been called to the bar. And for some reason, he took an interest in me. He said I was on a one-way street to trouble, if I didn’t start making some changes. Then he talked to my uncle about giving me some guidance.”
“Did that help?”
“My uncle and Bob Adams, a neighbor and guy he worked with, got me a summer job picking up sticks and trash while bulldozers were clearing a hillside. And with the money I earned, I bought tools and parts to rebuild my truck engine. In the evenings, Bob helped me with that old pickup. And before long, we got it running.”
“It sounds like things started getting better for you.”
“Things got worse before they got better. Teresa, the girl I’d been seeing, told me she was pregnant. I wanted to do right by both her and the baby, but what kind of dad or husband would I have made, especially then?”
She didn’t respond to his question, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“About that time, Harry stopped by after I got off work and talked to me about life and setting goals. Believe it or not, what he had to say actually made some sense. Then he invited me to play ball in the park near the marina one evening with him and a bunch of the guys.”
“Did you go?”
“I’d actually planned to, but things didn’t work out that way.”
“What happened?”
“On the night of the game, my truck wouldn’t start, so I was just going to say screw it about joining Harry at the marina. But an old friend, Ray Montalvo, came by. I should have known better, I guess, since Ray was bad news and Harry had warned me to steer clear of him. But we’d been pretty tight as kids, and I asked him to drop me off.” Zack shook his head. “I’m still amazed at the turn of events, at the stupid mistake I made being with the wrong guy at the wrong time.”
She didn’t speak, she just sat there, her eyes warm, brow furrowed. Intent on listening, it seemed. On hearing the rest of his confession, words that might drive her away for good. But he couldn’t stop now.
“Ray wanted to go by the Speedy Stop first. I smoked back then, so I figured what the heck. I’d run inside and pick up a pack of cigarettes and buy a soda. But what I didn’t realize was that Ray had another game plan. One I didn’t know anything about.”
Zack half expected her to slide closer to the armrest of the sofa, to withdraw. To want to wash her hands of him. But she didn’t appear to have moved away at all. In fact, if anything, she seemed to lean to the side. Closer to him.
He took a deep breath, then blew it out. “Ray slipped on a ski mask after I went inside, then he pulled a gun and entered the store. I’m not sure how it all went down, since I was back in the refrigerated section of the store, but a shot was fired. And when the owner came running out with a gun, too, all I could think of doing was ducking for cover.”
“You weren’t involved,” she said, her voice whisper soft.
“No, I wasn’t. The cashier got a bullet in the arm, and when the owner turned to look at his wounded employee, Ray shot him in the back.”
“Didn’t the police realize you hadn’t done anything wrong?”
“I’d been a juvenile delinquent who’d arrived with the gunman. And even though Ray panicked and bolted from the store, leaving me to face the consequences, no one believed I wasn’t a part of the robbery.” He clicked his tongue. “I knew I was going down for it anyway, so I kept my mouth shut until the public defender arrived. As part of a plea bargain, I gave the cops Ray’s name.”
“I can’t believe they didn’t realize your innocence. If you’d have been guilty, you wouldn’t have stuck around.”
“That’s what I thought. But the owner of the convenience store was a well-loved member of the community. And he was paralyzed by a bullet to the spine. Local activists had been pushing law enforcement to crack down on juvenile crime, and I was the one they cracked down on first.”
“And you went to prison for a crime you didn’t commit,” she said, softly.
He blew out a sigh. “Five years. And during that time, my girlfriend died in a drive-by shooting and my baby went to foster care.”
She scooted closer and took his hand in hers. “You’ve shown them all. The police. The community.”
“No, I haven’t shown them all. Not yet. But someday, I hope to.”
Her fingers gave his hand a gentle squeeze, warming his skin, his heart, and triggering a burst of hope. He met her gaze, hoping to see that she’d taken his side and believed his story, yet expecting to hear some reason for the evening to end, some reason for him to leave.
Diana’s heart went out to the one-time delinquent and ex-con, a man who was trying to make the best of a life that had started badly and only gotten worse.
She slid closer to him, her thigh nearly touching his, then slipped her arms around him and gave him a hug, offering her comfort, her support. “I admire the man you’ve become.”
Zack wrapped his arms around her, drawing her close. His woodsy scent taunted her, tempted her.
She wasn’t sure what was going on inside her heart, but it was more than sympathy, more than admiration. And it both intrigued and frightened her.
As she dropped her arms slowly, her fingers rested on his shoulders. Their eyes met, and time seemed to stop as a powerful emotion threatened to consume her. And so did an overwhelming urge to kiss him.
Her conscience urged her to take it slow, to hold back. To behave. And for a moment, she thought the good girl who lived inside of her would win out, as was usually the case.
But her lips parted of their own accord, and her fingers stroked his shoulders, slipping down to his chest.
Then, as if she had no mind of her own, she gripped the fabric of his shirt and pulled, drawing his mouth to hers.
Chapter Ten
The kiss began softly, tentatively, much as it had before. But this time, passion sparked something deep inside her.
She couldn’t seem to get enough of his taste, his scent, his touch. As their tongues caressed, a shiver of heat slid through her bloodstream, causing an ache low and deep in her belly. An ache only Zack could fill.
Hands groped, touching, exploring, grasping for something to hold onto as hormones raged and desire blazed between them.
He leaned back, against the armrest, pulling her to him, with him, as he adjusted himself on the cushion and stretched out. They necked liked a couple of teenagers with a hormonal overdose.
Diana w
as lying on him, breasts splayed against his chest, her hips pressing against his. Rocking. Seeking. Feeling the heat, the power of his erection.
She relished being on top—in charge, but just barely.
Their breaths mingled, panting, filling the lust-charged air between them.
But Zack seemed to be holding back.
She stiffened.
Had she done it again?
Gotten too wild? Too brazen?
She drew back, breaking the kiss. Pulling away.
He didn’t say a word. He merely watched her, those sky-blue eyes clouded with something—desire, she hoped. Or was it disappointment?
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“About what?”
About her uncontrolled feelings. About wanting desperately to make love on the sofa, to fall onto the floor in a naked, passionate heap.
“I got a little carried away.”
He sat up, brushed a strand of hair from her cheek. “Don’t be sorry.”
“Things are moving a little too fast,” she said. Although she seemed to be the one who’d gotten carried away, who was pressing for more.
She expected him to be angry. To call her a tease, like Travis had done. Or to come up with some other judgmental comment, like the one Peter had made the first time things had gotten out of hand between them.
But Zack didn’t say anything like that.
“I think we’re both skating around feelings that are a little scary,” he admitted. “I don’t have a problem taking things slow. I’m just glad that we’re facing them head-on. So feel free to call all the shots, honey.”
He was putting her in charge of their relationship—or whatever it was they were involved in?
She didn’t know if she liked the idea of calling all the shots, but it did make her feel better about him. About them.
And about the heady feelings and emotions she was afraid to analyze.
“Would you like us to take a break from each other for a while?” he asked, his brow furrowed, his eyes glimmering with something she couldn’t decipher.
“I don’t think so.” She raked a hand through her hair, thinking she ought to scoot farther away from him while at the same time wanting to reach out and pull him closer. “Maybe we can get together again this weekend.”
“Sounds good to me. But I’ve got to work on Saturday. And Bob asked me to be a fifth in his monthly poker game that night. He needed someone who’d sub, and I’d hate to tell him no, after already agreeing.”
“I understand. That leaves Sunday. Maybe you can go to church with us.”
His eyes widened like she’d hauled off and slapped him silly. “Oh, no. I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Several reasons. For one thing, I don’t belong in a church. Heck, I always pick up my pace whenever I walk by one.”
“What’s the other reason?”
“Sundays belong to Emily.”
She’d forgotten.
“But that doesn’t mean you and the girls can’t join us,” he said. “I’m taking her to the zoo. Are you up for something like that?”
Taking the girls to the zoo?
It was just the kind of thing she’d like to do with him. Something slow and easy. Something that involved the kids and let them experiment with the family-type stuff. But she was a bit short on cash—again. And she had this need to pay her own way. Because her father had made such a big deal about the financial help he’d had to dole out to her and Peter, she supposed. And because she’d had to rely on him again, after Peter’s death.
She would have to get over that. But she still hated to have Zack treat them to a day at the zoo. It just didn’t seem right when things were so…well…so undecided between them.
“A guy at work gave me some passes,” he said. “I’ve got enough for you and the girls to have one, too. So, what do you say?”
She brightened. “Then we’d love to go with you and Emily.”
“Great. Why don’t we meet by the carousel? Just let me know when.”
Church got out at eleven-thirty, but she usually stood around and chatted with friends for a while. “Does noon work for you?”
“Why don’t we make it twelve-fifteen, just to be on the safe side.”
“All right.”
He stood, then reached down and took her hand, helping her up. “I’d better let you go.”
“What about the ice cream?” she asked.
“You still have to go pick up the girls, don’t you?”
She nodded, amazed at his thoughtfulness, at the way his big hand gently enveloped hers, held her close. Safe.
She found herself at odds.
It would only take a phone call to Mrs. Pringle, and the girls could spend the night. But Diana couldn’t do that. Not after she’d told Zack she wanted to take things easy. Not after he’d accepted her terms and seemed to respect them.
So why was she struggling with that dormant wild side of hers? In spite of a moral battle going on in her heart, she walked him to the door and told him good-night.
The good girl had won.
But it was a bittersweet victory.
And neither side was pleased.
Zack held Emily’s hand as they waited next to the carousel in Balboa Park, near the world-famous San Diego Zoo, where he planned to meet Diana.
He’d lied to her the other night, when he told her he had admission passes. But once or twice before, he’d sensed her reluctance to let him pay for things. And he’d gotten that same vibe again. He wasn’t sure why it was a problem for her.
The precarious relationship they’d found themselves in, maybe.
So he’d purchased all five tickets before he’d gone to get his daughter.
Usually, he didn’t pick up Emily until noon, which is what he’d agreed to with the Tanners when he’d first been released from prison. At the time, he’d been content with the arrangement. But now that the adults had gotten to know each other, and Emily seemed to be adjusting to having two daddies, Zack supposed he could probably start having her for the entire day, if he wanted to.
He’d have to talk it over with Brett and Caitlin.
Emily tugged at his hand. “Are they coming soon?”
He glanced at his watch. It was just after twelve. “It shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Since they’re still not here, can I ride the white pony again?” Emily asked. “It’s stopped going around and around.”
Before he could respond, a child’s happy voice called out, “Zack! Emily!”
Clapping her hands and jumping up and down, Emily cried, “They’re here! Can I run and meet them?”
“Sure.” He was glad the kids were eager to get together. He was, too. It had been four long days since he’d last seen Diana, since her kiss had nearly turned him inside out.
He hoped she didn’t have any regrets about kissing him. She’d stopped things from going too far, but she’d also agreed to a day at the zoo, so she couldn’t be feeling too remorseful.
She also seemed okay with his offer to let her control the direction their relationship would take.
Well, their relationship or whatever it was they were doing.
He was still stumbling over just what was going on between them, especially since that mind-spinning, breath-robbing romp on her sofa had convinced him that they’d left friendship in the dust.
The girls met in the middle, halfway between the adults making their way toward each other.
Zack’s gaze locked on Diana’s, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t already taken in every bit of the angelic vision moving his way. An angel wearing blue jeans, a yellow cotton blouse and a shy smile.
He figured she was feeling just as awkward, just as nervous, as he was.
“Hey.” He tossed her a grin. “You’re a little early.”
“Well, we’re pretty excited about going to the zoo.” She placed a hand on each of her daughters’ shoulders, but her eyes remained focused on him, her lips bear
ing the whisper of a grin.
Was she actually excited about seeing him again?
A glimmer in her eyes said she was.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s start walking. I promised to get Emily home by six.”
The girls skipped in front of them, chattering about all kinds of things, oblivious to the adults trying to keep up with them. All the while, sexual attraction swirled between him and her, stirring up desire and setting Zack’s imagination on end.
He had an urge to slip an arm around Diana or to take her by the hand, but he wasn’t sure how she’d feel about it.
Damn. What had compelled him to let her be in charge of things?
His fear that he’d forget who he was and where he’d come from, for one. The fact that she might come to her senses along the way and tell him it had been nice while it lasted, for another.
Okay. So he’d take one day at a time. And today, he was spending the day at the zoo, where he felt about as free as the caged animals he’d come to see.
At least when it came to pursuing the woman at his side.
The afternoon had been picture-book perfect. They’d ridden the tour bus and seen the bulk of the park, including the elephants, giraffes and kangaroos. Then they’d stopped by the nursery, where they watched through the window as a zoo employee held a diapered baby chimpanzee and fed it a bottle.
“Isn’t that the sweetest thing?” Diana asked Zack.
“If you say so.” He laughed, a grin dimpling his cheeks and crinkling the edge of his eyes, making him look both boyish and wise at the same time.
“I miss not having a baby to hold and rock. The girls are growing so quickly.”
His eyes sparked with mischief as he looked at her daughters and asked, “And which one of the girls does that little monkey remind you of?”
“Not me!” Jessie said. “I was bald, huh Mommy?”
“Hey,” Becky said. “I didn’t look like a monkey, either.”
“Maybe you used to eat a lot of bananas,” Emily added, provoking an onset of the giggles that had become a habit that afternoon.
The girls had gotten along so well that it was hard not to wonder what it would be like to have a blended family.
