by Judy Duarte
“Can we go to the petting zoo before we leave?” Becky asked. “I want to feed the baby goats.”
Diana placed a hand on Zack’s arm in a move that seemed so natural, so parental. “Do you mind?”
“No, it sounds like fun. Let’s go.”
Moments later, they were inside a fenced-in area that allowed children to pet and feed various deer, goats and sheep. Zack dug through his pockets, pulling out quarters for the vending machines and helping the girls get handfuls of pellets.
Diana watched Zack, his face lit up, his expression vibrant, obviously as enthralled by the antics of the animals as the children were.
What an interesting day this had been—the kind of awe-inspiring day that made dreams seem possible, the future appear bright.
Peter, the girls’ father, had spent all his free hours at church and never enjoyed activities with her or the kids. It was one of the things she’d resented about him, about their marriage.
Well, one of several.
As the girls took off, each one scurrying to pet their favorite critters, Zack sauntered toward Diana, boasting a rugged edge softened by a sexy pair of dimples she could get used to seeing.
“I think you’re having more fun than the girls,” she said.
“You’re probably right. My grandmother brought me to the zoo once or twice when I was about Emily’s age, but I can’t remember it being so neat.” He turned to watch the girls, his arm brushing her shoulder, warming her from the outside in. Marking her somehow, branding her.
She had the urge to slip her arm through his—just like any other mom and dad taking their kids to the zoo.
But she held back.
She was still treading softly, afraid to trust her feelings. Afraid to let go.
“Oh, no,” Becky cried. “Yuck. Emily ate goat food.”
“No, I didn’t,” the blond pixie said. A slick dirty smudge across her chin, mouth and upper lip contradicted her claim. “I just took a little lick, that’s all.”
“Will that hurt her?” Zack sobered and scrunched his face, as he looked at Diana. “I don’t mean the goat food, but the animals have been eating out of her hands. And Caitlin is pretty careful about germs and stuff.”
Diana smiled. His concern and his obvious respect for Emily’s mother touched her. “I’m sure that sort of thing happens all the time. But I think a trip to the restroom to wash her face and hands is in order.”
Besides, it was nearing the time to leave. So, Diana rounded up the girls and took them all into the ladies’ room so they could clean up, while Zack waited for them outside.
As she lifted Emily to reach the sink, the girls continued to chatter away, but her thoughts remained on Zack, on the paternal role he’d taken on today.
She supposed a trip to the zoo, even with three pint-sized chaperones, was a little bit like going on a date.
It was weird to think of herself dating someone.
But it was also kind of nice.
Throughout the afternoon, she hadn’t been able to keep herself from stealing glances at him, appreciating him—his size. His stance. The way that shank of dark hair had fallen onto his forehead. The turquoise flecks in his eyes when the sun hit them just right.
There wasn’t anything about him that didn’t turn her head and stir her heart.
She set Zack’s daughter down on the floor, turned off the faucet, then pressed the button to start the dryer mounted on the wall. With a whirr, the warm air began to dry Emily’s hands.
The little girl was as cute and sweet as could be, and it was obvious Zack adored her.
As Becky and Jessie stood in line behind Emily, their hands dripping wet, Diana’s thoughts returned to the man who waited for her—for them—outside. But only for a moment.
The animation in Emily’s voice drew her to the girls’ conversation.
“And do you know what?” Emily asked, her eyes wide, her voice bubbling with excitement. “When I grow up, I’m going to marry Bobby Davenport.”
“But he’s eight years old,” Jessie said, “and you’re only four.”
“That’s okay,” Emily countered. “I’m going to be five pretty soon.”
“Yeah, but Bobby is still too old for you.”
“My daddy Brett is older than my mommy,” Emily said in her own defense. “He’s twenty-nine and she’s not that many.”
“Hey,” Becky said. “How old is your daddy Zack?”
“He’s…umm…” Emily chewed at her bottom lip and scrunched her face.
Diana waited for the answer. She’d been curious about his age, guessing him to be younger than her. But she wasn’t sure by how much.
“He’s twenty-five,” Emily said, her memory obviously coming back to her.
And Diana was thirty-two.
There was a seven-year age difference between them. Did Zack suspect that? Would it bother him to find out?
Would it make a difference?
To him?
To anyone?
She scolded herself for allowing thoughts like that to cross her mind. It seemed as though she’d been born a people pleaser.
What was wrong with going against the grain once in a while?
She rounded up the girls, then took them outside where Zack waited, leaning against the side of the building like a rebel ready to whisk her off into the sunset.
And she couldn’t help but smile at the man who’d touched her heart, in spite of his youth. And in spite of the trouble he’d been in.
Zack’s chest swelled, as he watched Diana herd the girls out of the bathroom.
She hadn’t said jack squat about anything that had to do with her and him or the relationship that seemed determined to grow in spite of the odds. But he was beginning to feel more secure about guessing her thoughts and assuming what she was feeling.
Without a doubt, she was interested in him.
And a day at the zoo only seemed to make her even more so.
As much as he’d like to prolong their outing, to make it last into the night, he’d told Caitlin he’d have Emily home by six.
“Are you ready to go?” he asked Diana.
“Sure.”
As they headed toward the main gate, his arm lifted, as if it had a mind of its own. He wanted to lay a claim on Diana and draw her close. But he quickly let his arm drop to his side.
He’d said she could call the shots.
And he’d meant it.
He just wished she would hurry up. He had the strongest urge to touch her again, to kiss her. And to finish what they’d started a few nights ago.
The walk to her car was uneventful, with the girls chattering about their favorite jungle animals, about the fun they’d had and about the yucky taste of goat food.
Apparently, following Emily’s lead, Jessie had taken a lick of the pellets, too.
When they reached the old Plymouth that was parked about fifty yards from the carousel, Diana unlocked the doors and let the girls climb into the back. His daughter slid in, too.
“Can Emily go home with us?” Jessie asked. “Please?”
“Not today,” Zack said. “She and her mom have plans for this evening.”
Still, he let Emily sit in the back seat with Diana’s girls for a while as he tried to drag out the last few minutes of their time together.
Diana shifted her weight to one foot and fiddled with the shoulder strap of her purse. “Thank you so much for including us today. We had a lot of fun.”
“I’m glad you came.” His hands itched to take her in his arms, but he slid them into his front pockets instead.
“I…uh…” She looked up at him with eyes filled with something, although he damn sure didn’t want to step out on a limb and take a guess what.
As it was, his heart was alternating between soaring and sputtering.
“I know that your time with Emily is special,” she said.
His hands tried to slide out of his pockets, but he shoved them back in. “Having you and the girls her
e made our day more special.”
Oh, for cripes sake. Could he have come up with anything mushier than that?
“I…uh…” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and shifted her weight to the other foot. “I’m not very good at this stuff.”
What stuff?
She nibbled on her bottom lip, then looked at him as if he could help her out.
But damned if he knew what she wasn’t good at. And if he did know—for sure—he doubted a guy like him was any better at it than she was. Especially if it had to do with feelings. Hell, he’d been shoving his aside for years, and now, when he wished he knew which end of his heart was up, he didn’t know what to do about it.
She reached for the fabric of his shirt, like she’d done the other night. Then she gave it a little tug. A nervous gesture? Or a hint for him to bend closer? To take her in his arms and kiss her senseless?
Maybe not. The girls were in the car. They might not be paying attention, but they were present just the same.
“I have a question about me calling the shots,” she said.
“Yeah?”
“Does that mean I have to ask you for a goodbye kiss?”
He slid her a crooked grin. “Nope. All you gotta do is tell me you want one—or give me a reason to believe you do.”
Then he bent and placed his mouth on hers, kissing her in a brief but meaningful way, a way he’d never kissed a woman before.
Slow. Steady.
And loaded with unanswered questions about unspoken promises.
It didn’t last very long. Just long enough to know that their relationship had taken another scary, unexpected turn.
For the better, he hoped.
Chapter Eleven
Several nights during the week that followed, Zack, Diana and the girls had dinner together.
And each time, after the girls had disappeared into their rooms to get ready for bed, Zack and Diana ended their evening with a kiss. A kiss that no matter how brief, how sweet, how full of promise, always shook Zack to the core.
He supposed he should be content with that.
And he was.
But he’d never had to court a woman before. Never had to hold back and allow things to go along at someone else’s pace. And even though that someone was Diana, his raging sex drive was pushing for more.
Still, he couldn’t believe the changes in him. He’d been holding open doors, standing whenever she entered the room and sitting on the porch until late in the evening, even when there’d been a big playoff game on TV. And yet, he wouldn’t have it any other way.
He was getting soft.
And liking it.
On Friday after work, he showed up at Diana’s with two sacks of Chinese takeout. He also brought the girls a T-ball set, a couple of mitts and a practice net they could hit into.
Becky had mentioned wanting to play Fall Ball, a city-sponsored softball league for girls that would start soon. Diana hadn’t yet agreed to let Becky play, since she was worried about how she’d get her to and from practices.
Zack figured he could help with transportation, since he was getting off work at three-thirty these days and was right by their house. But Diana apparently wasn’t ready to commit to an offer like that.
Either way, he thought Becky would enjoy practicing in her backyard before the league got started.
It seemed that he and Diana had gradually become a couple. And his attraction to her continued to grow, making it difficult to ignore or control what simmered deep inside of him.
As he, Diana and the girls sat on the patio, attempting to use chopsticks and enjoying sweet and sour pork, chicken lo mein and fried rice, the ten-year-old blonde fiddled with her napkin, more than the food.
“Becky, is something bothering you?” her mother asked.
“Kind of.” The girl glanced up. “I was wondering if Jessie and I could get a job or something.”
“You’re a little young for that. Is there something you’d like to buy?”
“Not exactly. I just want to go to camp with Allison and Brianna. It’s going to be really cool. They have horses and everything.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded yellow flyer that showed a lot of wear. “See? The last one is next weekend. That’s the one that Allison and her sister get to go to. It’s only a hundred dollars, and it includes all the food and everything.”
Diana took the sheet and studied it carefully, as though the camp was a real possibility. Then she bit down on her bottom lip and frowned. “I’m afraid that I can’t spare two hundred dollars this week.”
Zack had a feeling there weren’t too many weeks when she could spare the money. She obviously tried hard to support herself and the girls, and with the cost of her sitter, he doubted there was much left over, even on payday.
But he had a savings account and some other cash put aside—some of it earmarked for a new paint job on the Camaro. He watched Diana carefully, trying to determine if it was only money holding her back.
She glanced down at the paper again. “It does look like a lot of fun.”
“I could call Grandpa,” Becky said. “And if I told him he didn’t have to buy me a birthday present ever again, he might say okay and give us the money.”
“No,” Diana said. “I really don’t want to ask your grandfather to help.”
She seemed to be pretty stubborn when it came to providing for herself, but he’d like to make things easier on her, if she’d let him.
“I’ve got a great idea,” Zack said. “Why don’t I send the girls to camp?”
Becky gasped, eyes widening and a grin bursting across her face. “Really? That would be so cool.”
“I can’t let you do that,” Diana said.
“Why not?”
Her eyes met his, and he could see her thoughts tumbling around inside. She glanced at the girls, at their plates.
“Are you two finished eating?” she asked.
They both nodded.
“Then why don’t you go inside and give Zack and I a few minutes alone.”
The alone time was something he always looked forward to, as much as he liked the girls. But this time, he figured there wouldn’t be anything romantic going on.
He’d just gotten himself in trouble.
When the girls were gone, he leaned back in his seat, unable to completely shake the side of him that didn’t take correction very well.
But he wasn’t going to prolong the obvious. “Was I out of line for saying I’d pay for the camp?”
“No. It was really sweet of you.”
“But?” he asked, wondering what it was that had her so uneasy about the offer.
“It’s important for me to provide for the girls and not take handouts.”
“I never meant it as a handout. I just want to help. And I imagine a weekend at camp would be good for them, and since I’ve got the cash tucked away, I’d like to pay for it. As a gift.”
“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, it’s just that…”
He reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. “Tell me what’s bothering you so that I’ll understand.”
She seemed to grapple with her response, then she sat back in her seat. “When I married the girls’ father, we always struggled with finances. He didn’t seem to worry too much, saying that God would provide. But more often than not, it was my dad who seemed to be the one providing.”
Zack figured it would be nice to have a father to lean on, someone to go to for help. A loan. Advice. Whatever.
Of course, Harry Logan had become like a dad to him. And so had his boss, Bob Adams.
So he couldn’t complain.
“My father always worked hard to support my brother and me,” Diana said, “sometimes taking on an extra part-time job, if necessary. So he couldn’t understand why Peter’s work was so important to him, especially since we were always struggling to pay one thing or another.”
“Did Peter take on a second job?” Zack asked, knowing that he wo
uld, if his family needed the money.
“No. He was pretty busy trying to grow the congregation and raise money for a new church building. But I took in ironing and some data processing that I could do at home. But it still wasn’t enough. So I approached my father for what Peter referred to as a loan, but what became a gift.”
Zack figured that, as a father, he might have been a little ticked off if his daughter was the only one thinking about a second job, especially if she had a baby or two at home.
“My dad would always come through for us, but not without cursing and complaining.”
“And so that’s why you don’t want to accept my help?” he asked.
“I guess so.” She inhaled the night air, then exhaled slowly. “You don’t know how badly I felt hearing him say things I agreed with.”
Zack wouldn’t like it if Emily married a guy who refused to take on a second job. And he understood why Diana’s father had gotten ticked off about the situation. Of course, if Zack ever found himself in that position, he hoped he would handle it without cursing at his daughter.
“When I got pregnant with Jessie and couldn’t work, it really put us in a crunch. More often than I liked, I had to call home and ask my dad for help. He must have expected the calls, but each time I’d have to ask anyway. And each time he’d swear and tell me that Peter ought to get a real job. Instead of worrying about building a fancy new church for a fledgling congregation, Peter ought to be setting aside money for a rainy day.”
Zack kind of agreed. Churches were important, he supposed. But shouldn’t a man provide for his family?
“This probably sounds terrible and disloyal to say, because Peter was a good man. But sometimes I think building that church was more Peter’s idea than God’s, that it was some kind of monument of his own making.”
Diana’s husband might have been a nice guy, but Zack didn’t think much of him. A man ought to take care of his family and have his home running smooth before trying to tell other people what they should and shouldn’t do and how they should live.
“When Peter died, the girls and I were left in a world of hurt, financially as well as emotionally. And I had no alternative but to go home to Texas, to my dad.” She turned her hand around so that their palms and fingers touched. “Don’t get me wrong. My dad isn’t a bad man. He truly loves me and the girls, but he has a critical nature. And it seemed that all he could do was gripe about the fact that Peter didn’t have a medical plan or life insurance.”
