My Double Life: Wild and Wicked

by Joanne Rock

  He knew how much it hurt when someone was unfaithful.

  And he’d always had so much fun playing the field that he told himself it was okay as long as he didn’t ever hurt anyone in the process. As long as any woman he dated understood what to expect—and not to expect—from him.

  “Jesse?” Kyra stared up at him, waiting for him to finish.

  But he had no idea what he’d been talking about.

  He could only wonder why he thought he’d never be able to make a commitment to a woman when Kyra had been showing him by example what commitment was all about for fourteen years running.

  She’d taken over her father’s ranching business at an early age when he’d succumbed to bouts of depression. And she’d made the ranch work by sheer force of will, eventually taking all that she’d learned and funneling it into a business of her very own. Her single-minded determination had inspired Jesse in more ways than he could count.

  He’d ignored a college scholarship to play professional baseball because she told him it was okay to follow a dream. For nearly eight years he’d lived a fantasy and paid his bills to boot, earning him a place in the minor league record books.

  And when he’d achieved all he wanted to there, he’d built his own business. Slapped his name on a shingle, for crying out loud.

  He was all about freaking commitment.

  “Jesse?” Kyra tugged his arm, calling him from his thoughts.

  Focusing on her big blue eyes, Jesse nearly drowned in them. So wise and innocent at the same time. So driven and determined to achieve her dreams. Even if she had to wear a corset in public.

  He loved this woman. No question.

  And he could commit himself to her forever without a single fear.

  “They’re getting ready to toast the happy couple.” She dragged him toward the center of the main deck. “And you might want to come up with a speech. I think Seth wants you to say a little something.”

  Jesse smiled. He’d gladly allow this practical woman to keep him on task his whole life.

  Assuming he could distract her from those damn tasks every now and then.

  He brushed a kiss along the top of her head and slowed her brusque pace across the deck. “Don’t worry, Kyra. I’ve got plenty of things to say tonight.”

  16

  KYRA TOOK A DEEP BREATH. Exhaled. Absorbed the warmth of Jesse’s hands on her shoulders, the heat of his chest at her back.

  Sometimes being with him excited her to a feverish pitch, but other times he grounded her in a way no else could. She’d always been so driven. Determined nothing would slip past her or be overlooked in her quest to build a profitable business she would enjoy all of her life.

  No question, her relentless approach had served her well in many ways. But something about spending time with Jesse made her relax. Catch her breath.

  She couldn’t stand the thought of losing that connection. Of tonight being her last chance with Jesse.

  They approached the throng of Jesse’s family in the middle of the main deck. Since his sister was in California working on her internship in landscape design, the party consisted of his older brother Seth and his fiancée, Mia Quentin. Jesse’s Uncle Brock and his lady love—Noelle Quentin, who also happened to be Mia’s mother—rounded out the small group.

  The four of them sprawled on blankets while the hired captain of the yacht took care of navigation in his secluded cabin above them. Three torches positioned around the deck made the party bright and festive even in the twilight. The breeze was starting to cool down now that the sun had dipped below the horizon, but that only gave Kyra an excuse to indulge a slight shiver at Jesse’s warm touch.

  Noelle thumped the empty space on the deck next to her. “Have a seat, Kyra. We can enjoy the speech together.”

  Jesse’s Uncle Brock reached behind him into the cooler, then handed her a longneck from the case of beer Jesse had brought aboard when his last-minute search for champagne had been a bust. There wasn’t a liquor store on the Twin Palms boardwalk, but at least there had been a convenience store.

  Complete with cold beer.

  “A little something for the toast.” Brock eyed the label critically. “Nice vintage, Jess. Malt hops at its best.”

  “Hey, at least I got the imported stuff in deference to Seth’s expensive taste.” He snagged a bottle of his own while Kyra settled next to Noelle.

  Jesse sat down beside her, exchanging verbal guy jabs with his brother and their uncle while Kyra soaked up the atmosphere of the night.

  The happiness in the air.

  At least, for two of the couples on board.

  Seth and Mia were obviously head over heels about one another. Even while Seth good-naturedly raked his brother over the coals for his plebian beverage choice, he kept one hand draped over Mia’s shoulder, his hand tracing tiny circles on her upper arm with his thumb.

  Mia glowed beside her fiancé, and not just because of the torchlight reflected on her face. She smiled with the warm contentment of a woman who knows she’ll be waking up beside the man of her dreams for the rest of her life.

  Brock and Noelle radiated every bit as much bliss as the engaged couple. While Brock leaned back against the cooler, Noelle sat between his thighs to rest against his chest.

  And of course, the image of Greta and Clint on the horse had remained in Kyra’s mind to taunt her with the kind of love that meant happily ever after.

  She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t want that for herself.

  And, if she were honest with herself, she wanted it for her and Jesse.

  As she stared up at him in the flickering light, Kyra knew she would never be content to simply return to their old relationship. Neither their business partnership nor their friendship would be enough for her anymore.

  Now that she’d had a taste of what they could be like together, she didn’t want to go back. She wanted to sleep by his side. She wanted to go to baseball games with him and listen to his one-of-a-kind color commentary on the sport he’d always loved. She wanted to drive by the houses he was building to see his progress in his new business.

  But most of all, she wanted her happily ever after with him—the only man she’d ever fantasized about.

  If only he felt the same way.

  Her heart ached with wishing for impossible things as Jesse whistled for attention. He settled on his knees—a fitting height to toast a party sprawled on a yacht deck—and raised his beer bottle.

  Clearing his throat with ceremony, he gave her one last wink before addressing the group. “I may have committed a small faux pas with the beer masquerading as champagne tonight, but trust me, Seth, I put more time into the sentiment than the beverage.”

  Brock and Noelle clapped and cheered.

  Kyra smiled to watch Jesse’s innate charm in action. In their partnership at the Crooked Branch she didn’t usually get to see him in his “work the crowd” mode, but she’d missed seeing that charisma of his flex its muscle. She had always loved going to the press conferences after his baseball games and seeing him send all the reporters home laughing.

  Jesse pitched a crumpled-up cocktail napkin at his uncle. “So without further ado, please join me in toasting Seth and Mia.”

  Kyra gladly lifted her bottle. She might envy the kind of love the new couple had found, but she didn’t begrudge them a minute of their happiness together.

  “I wish you a lifetime full of shared joys. And in between all those good times, I wish you the comfort of being able to share your sorrows. I wish you the kind of partnership that comes with knowing one another year after year.” As he looked around the members of his audience, his gaze stalled on Kyra, his sentiment meant for her as much as the words were directed toward his brother and Mia.

  Kyra’s heart caught in her throat.

  “May you appreciate one another’s strengths while bolstering each other’s weaknesses. But most of all, may you remember to celebrate your love and the gift you have in one another every day.�
�

  Kyra blinked away a tear. She noticed Mia didn’t bother to hold hers back. Two tiny rivulets trickled down her cheeks as everyone clinked bottles and shouted agreement to Jesse’s words.

  Malt and hops never tasted so good.

  Kyra wanted to tell Jesse how much she liked his speech. For a guy who had never believed in commitments, he sure knew how to make “forever” sound pretty appealing. Did he harbor just a little longing in his soul for the same things Kyra did?

  She didn’t know what the future might hold for her and Jesse or if she’d ever have another chance to find out after tonight.

  But Brock was too quick to snag Jesse’s attention in the wake of the toast, asking him a few building questions about converting an old storefront into a new moped rental shop Noelle hoped to open within the year.

  Noelle scooted across their little circle to hug her daughter and shed a few happy tears of her own. Kyra moved closer to the women to extend her congratulations. Much as she wanted to talk to Jesse alone, ask him how he’d grown so well versed in the rewards of marriage, she wanted to congratulate Mia, too.

  Now more than ever, Kyra appreciated that good committed relationships didn’t just happen. They required effort, compromise. Friendships were easy. Great sex was simple—at least for her and Jesse.

  But love?

  She hadn’t figured that one out yet. And for the first time, she wanted to crack the mystery for herself.

  * * *

  THE MOON was high by the time Kyra found a few moments to slip away from the party and gaze out at the night sky. Her evening with Seth and Mia, Brock and Noelle had been the closest thing to a family gathering she’d been to in more years than she could count. What would it be like to belong to a family reminiscent of this one? To share your hopes and dreams, to share the workload in making those dreams happen?

  Jesse had already signed on to help Brock and Noelle update the old storefront for Noelle’s moped rentals. Seth had given Jesse a few tips about managing escrow accounts for his home-building clients.

  Mia and Noelle had made a deal with Kyra to trade horseback riding hours at the Crooked Branch for moped riding hours at Noelle’s new shop. Kyra enjoyed every minute with the Chandler men and the Quentin women, but she couldn’t help but wonder if she’d have a chance to follow through on the bargain they’d made today.

  Would she and Jesse have anything left to their relationship besides a few great memories after tonight?

  The idea that tonight might be her last chance sent a swell of panic through her.

  Footsteps sounded on the deck behind her, upping the ante on her panic level. She recognized the pace, would know that laid-back, all-the-time-in-the-world step anywhere.

  But instead of greeting Jesse at the rail of the yacht, Kyra jumped as she felt something sheer and silky slide over her eyes from behind.

  A familiar pink scarf.

  The warmth of Jesse’s body hovered a few inches from her back. One of his hands slid down the bare expanse of her spine revealed by her navy, backless dress, while his other hand held her thin blindfold in place.

  “I’ve got you now, Kyra.” Jesse’s voice wafted over her shoulder, a warm rumble across her skin. “What would you do if I kidnapped you tonight the same way you abducted me at Gasparilla?”

  She swayed against his skillful touch, longed for more of those expert hands on her bare skin. Even more, she yearned for a deeper relationship with the man who had been captivating her for over a decade. “For starters, I don’t think I’d give you any lectures like you gave me.”

  “You wouldn’t?” He leaned closer, his grip on the scarf relaxing just a little. “What if I wanted a whole lot more from you than just one night of fantastic sex? Then would you break out the lecture?”

  She smiled beneath the silk. Propping up the fabric with one hand over her eyebrow, she peered back at him. “I’d probably settle for telling you that you’re a whole lot smarter than me.”

  Jesse let go of her scarf, allowing the gauzy material to settle around her shoulders as she turned to face him dead-on. The torches still flickered in the distance on deck, perfectly outlining his incredible body. No wonder one of the world’s most renowned beauties had fawned all over him.

  Yet Kyra saw the rest of him. She appreciated the sensitivity that made him as smart about animals as he was about people. Recognized the business savvy he’d always possessed but never smothered her with.

  Now he skimmed a fingertip over her cheekbone and then down her jaw. “I do want more, Kyra. More than tonight. More than next week.”

  Her heart skipped. Still, she owed it to him to be honest about her fears. “I want that, too. But Jesse, I don’t know that I would make a very good girlfriend. I know I’ve sucked as a business partner. Anyone else would have pulled their hair out trying to deal with me because I can be so independent. I don’t know how you’ve put up with me. And I’m just afraid I wouldn’t live up to your expectations if we became...more than partners.”

  He opened his mouth as if to speak, but as Kyra reviewed her words to him in her mind she wondered if she’d blown it by reminding him of all her bad qualities. She couldn’t stop herself from blurting a last little caveat. “That being said, I would try very hard to be more open-minded if we did try to be together. Have I told you lately that you were so right about the ponies and that it was a great idea to buy them? And have I admitted that I was being really stubborn about selling Sam’s Pride?”

  Jesse laughed. Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, he shielded her from the night breeze with the breadth of his body.

  “You are independent, I’ll grant you that. Maybe a little bossy.” His brow furrowed as if starting to remember how much of a slave driver she’d been when he’d been building her barns, stringing her fences or working on their accounting reports. “And I’ll be the first to admit you’re stubborn as hell.”

  She felt the overwhelming need to toss a few of her good points out there, too, before he talked himself out of a second date with her. “But—”

  “But you’re also level-headed. Which is a good thing when I’m wound up because I grounded out to second base or I botched a strip of crown molding.” He brushed his fingertips across her chin to tilt her face up to his. “You give me perspective.”

  She wanted to remind him that perspective was a very good, useful thing, but he covered her lips with the pad of his thumb, clearly ready to talk now.

  “Being with you gives me a sense of peace I’ve never found anywhere else. For years I told myself that I always liked going back to the Crooked Branch because of the ranch environment or the horses, but it’s not either of those things. I like to be there because of you.” His dark eyes glittered with the reflection of the torches. Or maybe their fierce heat came from within.

  Kyra couldn’t help the smile that slipped across her face any more than she could staunch the hope growing inside her. Her heart skipped.

  But Jesse wasn’t through. He slid his hands down her shoulders, to her back. Pulled her closer and molded her body to his, hip to hip. “And all these years that I’ve been dating—extensively—I think I was just marking time, waiting for the right woman. The same woman I’ve already been committed to in a lot of ways for half my life.”

  Oh.

  Kyra’s heart quit the sissy skipping and hammered her chest with a vengeance. She felt the same happy tears tickle her eyes that Mia had shed only a few hours ago. Kyra plucked at the pink silk scarf that still dangled around her shoulders. “Then I guess I’m all yours to carry off.”

  “I don’t think so.” Jesse shook his head. “I haven’t even said ‘I love you’ yet.”

  Oooohh. Something melted inside her. “Really?”

  “Not unless I missed it.” He wrapped the ends of the scarf around his finger and started winding the fabric around his skin, effectively reeling her closer.

  “No. You didn’t miss it. I definitely would have noticed if you’d put that out
there.” Warmth filled her along with a resounding sense of rightness. Her and Jesse together—it made so much crazy, beautiful, perfect sense.

  “Then let me fix that right now. I love you, Kyra. In a way, I think I always have. I’ve just been in serious denial. And maybe I was just too scared of messing up what we had to ever take a risk on us.” He trailed his lips across her forehead, to her temple. “I’m so glad your practical self took that one calculated, daring chance for both of us.”

  She vowed to retrieve her black leather corset from the cleaners with all due haste. The costume deserved a special place in her closet for helping her open Jesse’s eyes to new possibilities.

  As the moist Gulf air wrapped around them, Kyra thanked the sky full of her lucky stars for putting her in this man’s path that day fourteen years ago.

  For putting him in her arms tonight.

  “I love you, too, Jesse. Not just today, and not just tomorrow. Always. No matter what.” She arched up on her toes to kiss his mouth, to squeeze him to her in a way she’d never dared before.

  In a way she would every day from now on.

  Kyra had no choice about controlling her happy tears anymore. They poured freely from her eyes to his shoulders and hers, a watery baptism for her very own happily ever after.

  * * * * *

  Keep reading for an excerpt of Lying in Bed by Jo Leigh!

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