A Little Harmless Addiction: Harmless, Book 5

by Melissa Schroeder

  “Stupid man.”

  “Why do you say that?” she asked

  “You wouldn’t cheat, Jocelyn. I told you that before.” She grew uncomfortable with his earnest expression and tried to look away, but he stopped her by taking her chin in between his fingers. “You might have some faults, but you are honest.”

  She felt the hot press of tears against the back of her eyes. In all the months of horror of Greg, no one had believed her. Not one person she worked with, not even the man she had thought she loved.

  “How do you know that?”

  He slid his fingers over her jaw line. “One, because I know Chris. He’s a good man and if he had some hand in your raising, I know it was done right. Two, because as I said, I know you.”

  She shook her head as an emotion she was afraid to name clogged up her throat. “No. You barely know me. You have no idea what a bitch I can be.”

  He leaned up and brushed his mouth over hers. “Yeah, I have an idea. I also know that you aren’t the same person you used to be back then. You can’t go through something like that and not change.”

  She sighed again, regret shifting over her as she tried to avoid eye contact. He held her jaw firmly and refused to let her look away.

  “You see what you went through as something that shows a weakness. That a stronger woman would have made it through with no problem. That’s not right. Most people would have buckled long before you did.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not the same person.”

  The moment she said the words, she wanted to pull them back. They were too honest, too raw. And she had yet to admit it to anyone. Maybe even to herself. She had said the words enough times, but it wasn’t until now that she realized how true it was.

  “Don’t.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t look like that. Don’t ever be ashamed of anything you say to me. Not if you’re being honest with me. Who gives a fuck who you were before?”

  “I do.”

  He sighed. “I don’t. I care who you are today. You might not be the same person to the world, but inside, where it counts, you are there. That strong core, that winner, she’s still there. She might be regrouping a bit, getting by each day, but she’s there. You’re the same person. Your perspective is just different.”

  She shook her head as she felt tears roll down her cheeks. “My brothers want me to be who I was before. My family and friends. They don’t like me like this.”

  He shook his head. “Oh, baby, you’re wrong. What they want is to undo what happened.”

  She sniffed. “How do you know that?”

  “Because of what happened to May. And going through what we did as kids.” He took a quick drink. “After Mom died, we all changed. Dad, well he’s always been Dad, but there was something different. He lost something we can’t understand.”

  “You lost your mother.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, but it is different when someone loses a mate. It crushed him. I have never seen my father fall apart like that. It was scary but understandable. Aionas mate for life.”

  “Huh.”

  “And I would give anything to have my mother back, but there are good things that came out of it. May and I stayed close. It was at a time when I should have been moving away from her, getting older, but instead, it allowed us to be friends as well as brother and sister. It also made her one hell of a strong woman. And that is what I see in you. You were strong before and you’re still strong. You just see yourself and the world differently.” He smiled. “You’re still Queen Jocelyn.”

  She felt her eyes widen. “Who told you that name?”

  “Chris mentioned it a few times before.”

  He was sitting there, a quiet smile on his face, telling her she was a strong woman. He didn’t blame her for her mistakes, wasn’t waiting for her to fall apart. And he liked her just like she was.

  She leaned forward and took his face into her hands and kissed him there. It was simple, in this room, in this moment. She felt such affection for a man because he said she was still the woman she was before. The kiss turned ravenous as she pushed him back on the bed. She heard a pasta bowl fall on the floor and she ignored it, ignored everything but this man. She lay on top of him as she slipped her tongue between his lips. She could taste the red wine, the pasta, the affection.

  In that moment, she knew she was in major trouble. But she didn’t give a damn. She sat, straddled him and pulled off her robe. She didn’t know where it landed as she tossed it aside. His cock twitched against her pussy. She was already growing damp at the thought of having him inside of her, but she wanted something else, wanted to give him something.

  He was watching her. His eyes were barely open, but Jocelyn could sense the hunger in them. Even in the dimly lit room. She kissed her way down his chest, slipping her tongue over his nipple ring, giving it a tug before she continued down. He was a delight of sinewy muscles and golden flesh. She couldn’t get over some of the tattoos either. She had never been a woman into them, and she would never get them because she was a bit of a wuss when it came to needles, but on Kai, they added to his sensuality. She slipped off to the side of him as she reached his cock.

  He was hard, waiting. She let her breath feather over the tip and smiled when it jerked. It was dark, filled with blood. She dragged her tongue over the top, enjoying the salty sweet taste of him. Even in this, it was different with Kai. Jocelyn had always been comfortable with her sexuality, but with Kai, there seemed to be no barriers. She took just the head of his penis into her mouth as she continued to swirl her tongue over it. Then she took him in her mouth. He groaned as he lifted his hips. Soon they were working in rhythm, as she started taking him farther and farther into her mouth.

  “Fuck,” he muttered the moment before he grabbed her hips and dragged her pussy over his mouth. His tongue slipped in right away, gliding over her clit again and again. He shook his head from side to side and then moaned against her clit. The vibrations moved over her flesh and pulled a moan from her. She slid her hand to his sac, squeezing him as he worked over her dripping sex, pulling her clit into his mouth. The scrape of his teeth had her coming, shivering with her release. But she would not stop. Even as she moaned, she widened her mouth to take all of him in. His cock bumped the back of her throat once, twice…

  Then he came groaning her name as he arched against her.

  Once he finished, he moved her off him and then pulled her up to him. He kissed her before she could even think. It was hot, sweet and just about everything in between. He pulled way and rested his head against hers.

  “That was…there are no words.”

  She could hear his voice tremble slightly and she felt a surge of satisfaction. Kai was a sensual man, and if she could do that to him, well, that was pretty damn good.

  “Stop looking so damned smug, woman.”

  She laughed and then hugged him. “Sorry. Hard not to after that.”

  She fell back against the pillows, Kai stretching out on top of her. He kissed her again and then looked down at her. Warmth filled his expression.

  “Don’t look at me like that. I am really messed up. I don’t need—”

  He kissed her and rolled over, pulling her with him. “You worry too much. Go to sleep.”

  She wanted to argue, but she was too exhausted to worry. She laid her head against his shoulder, took comfort in having his body next to hers and slipped into sleep.

  Three days later, Jocelyn was still humming with satisfaction. Of course, that was easy to do because Kai had been at her house every night. They never really spoke of their commitment. Kai just started showing up when she closed up the bakery. Or she would wander down to the pier to wait for him to come back in. It was all kind of…comforting. Of course, today he was going to be late and he urged her to go home. With two crew members sick, he would have to work a double shift.

  She had never really been a woman who expected a man to spend a lot of time with her. Even with Mike. She h
ad always kept her career first and foremost in her life. Was that why it had all fallen apart when things went wrong? They had never really shared a lot of intimacies outside of the bedroom. In the few weeks she had known Kai, she had shared more of her past with him than she ever did with Mike. Why was that? Did she know she couldn’t trust Mike, or was it because she didn’t trust him that they fell apart? She knew without a doubt that she wouldn’t have had the same problem with Kai.

  That little fact scared the hell out of her. She wasn’t ready to lose herself to a man. Maybe not ever. But of course, Kai didn’t give a damn and just marched right into her life. She knew there were things he didn’t tell her. She hadn’t had the nerve to ask him more about Keisha. She wasn’t sure if she could take him talking about another woman, especially the only one he had ever been serious about. Not right now, not when their relationship was so new.

  “You got me some mallasadas this morning?”

  She looked up to find the father of her preoccupation standing in front of her with a big smile.

  “Mr. Aiona, how are you this morning?”

  “Good. Enjoying the weather today.”

  “And yes, I have some mallasadas today. In fact I have one back here just for you.”

  Knowing that Kai’s father loved the chocolate-pudding-filled mallasadas, she had saved one for him in particular. She grabbed his treat and then turned to him, “Want a cup of Kona with it?”

  He smiled. “Only if I can get the prettiest girl in the room to share it with me.”

  “Why not? I have a break coming to me.”

  “Prettiest girl,” Cynthia sniffed as she walked into the front of the store. “I can see that I’m being tossed aside for another woman.”

  Mr. Aiona laughed and gave Cynthia a hug. “You’re abandoning me for married life with Chris. How are you feeling?”

  “Pretty good. Morning sickness has definitely gotten better.”

  Jocelyn handed him his coffee and treat and said, “I was going to take a break.”

  Cynthia glanced around the shop. The customers had dwindled to just a few late morning tourists. “Sure. I’ll try to see if I can handle this.”

  They picked a table outside to enjoy the morning sun and sweet breeze.

  “Ah, that feels good, yeah? It has been a hot couple of days.”

  “Kai claims there’s rain coming.”

  He nodded as he chewed on his mallasada. “Yeah, my boy knows the weather. You would think he was an old man with this knowledge.”

  She cocked her head and watched him.

  “You have no problem with him over at my house every night?”

  Mr. Aiona shrugged. “He’s a grown man. He wasn’t a virgin when you met him.”

  Jocelyn could feel her face heat at his plain talk.

  “Oh, now, don’t be embarrassed. My boy has always had some woman or other hanging around. But you…he’s serious about you.”

  She nodded. “I know.”

  “Just make sure to be kind to my boy, so I don’t have to stop coming here for my treats.”

  “You mean you’d find another shop that would give you this for free?”

  He chuckled. “No. Definitely not as good. And I would come over, but I would have to frown at you.”

  She laughed. “I can see you doing that.”

  “You’re liking it here.”

  A statement, one she had been thinking for several weeks. “It is hard to explain. Just…Hawaii is very soothing. It’s like I am in tune with the lifestyle here, but I never thought it would be for me.”

  He nodded as he finished off his second mallasada. “Hawaii is a balm to the soul. I’ve known more than one person who came here and found themselves.”

  She shrugged. “It is an odd feeling. I know you know a little of what happened to me.”

  He nodded.

  “I could never find a place I was comfortable. My house was too big, too…not what I needed. It wasn’t that I was scared, exactly. It was like I didn’t fit anymore. Here I do.”

  “Then that’s all you need. Just know living on an island this small, there is always someone here if you need them. They’ll leave you alone if you don’t want to be bothered, but always be ready to lend a hand when asked.”

  She nodded. “I get that. I like it actually. I’ve met a few of my neighbors, know their names, their kids’ names. In Atlanta, I didn’t know one person who lived on my street. People never took the time to say hi. They were too busy with, well, whatever. And part of it was me. I was so focused on building my career I forgot to have a life.”

  He gave her a fatherly smile. “And now you have one.”

  She nodded, feeling the rightness of the statement and how much it meant to her. “Yeah. Now I have one.”

  An hour later, she was closing up the shop when her cell phone rang. When she saw the familiar number, her heart jerked. What did Detective Morrison need with her?

  “Hello.”

  “Jocelyn, how you doing?” the policeman asked. He had been the calm in the storm, with his easy Georgia-boy ways and his contempt for Greg. He had waded through the disbelievers and been a silent hero to keep her safe. He had believed her without question.

  “Fine. I’ve been keeping myself busy.”

  “Probably not hard there in Hawaii. Is it as pretty as they say?”

  Even with her nerves frayed, she looked out, down the street to the little patch of beach she could see. A nice soft wind still blew through the palm trees.

  “Yeah. It is.” She paused, then swallowed her fear and asked, “Why are you calling?”

  The sigh she heard was filled with regret. “Greg cut a deal.”

  Greg’s lawyer had been playing a game for months, and with Greg’s connections, she had always thought this might happen.

  “What kind of a deal?”

  “Community service, time served,” he said, disgust dripping from his voice. “I threw a fit, of course.”

  She could barely hear the words as her brain went blank. Time served? For what he tried to do? The bastard had almost killed her, was intent on that, and they were going to let him walk around free.

  “Jocelyn.”

  She shook her head. “Sorry. What?”

  “I said I tried to resign from the unit—”

  “No. You can’t do that. We both knew this was a possibility when it came up. He has a record now. There isn’t much he can do to get that off his record. Plus, he’s ruined financially.”

  “Is that enough?”

  She didn’t know. “It will have to be.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Kai arrived at Jocelyn’s house, his body tired, but the drive had been worth it. He’d taken enough time to run back his house to shower. It had been a bitch of a day with unskilled fishermen and he’d gotten smacked more than once with a damned big mahi mahi. By the time he’d walked off his boat, he’d smelled like rotting fish.

  He grabbed his overnight bag and walked up to the door. It was odd that in the last week he had started feeling more comfortable at Jocelyn’s house than his own. It wasn’t the house itself, that much he knew. He should be worried. He had never been one for sleeping over night after night. Here and there, no biggie, but there was a part of him that realized he was slowly moving in with Jocelyn.

  He stopped in his tracks. Is that what he was doing? He glanced down at his bag and then at the door. She hadn’t pushed, not once. Not like a lot of women. She just went happily along with the idea that he would be over and that they would plan their night together.

  He was frowning as he walked up the steps. He could see her through the screen door. She was sitting on the couch, sipping tea and reading over a cookbook. Something shifted in his chest. He had known he loved her. He probably hadn’t had a chance since he’d met her. But this was something else entirely. He started to realize that she was more important to him than anything else.

  Without knocking, another sign that he was practically living with her,
he opened the door. She looked up and smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes, but that might because she was tired. Dark circles marred the delicate skin beneath her eyes.

  “Hey. How was your day?” she asked absentmindedly.

  The simple question meant so much to him. He would have never thought himself a man who needed hearth and home, but to walk through the door after the bitch of a day he’d had, to a woman asking him that question, it felt right.

  “Crappy. I got hit three times with a mahi mahi.”

  He set his bag down and walked to her. Taking her hand, he pulled her up off the couch, sat and then toppled her down on his lap. He kissed her, enjoying the warmth of her body, the taste of her on his lips.

  When he pulled back, he said, “Hey.”

  She smiled again, this time it did reach her eyes. “Hey. Are mahi mahi big?”

  “One weighed over one hundred and fifty pounds.”

  Her eyes widened. “Wow, I thought they were little fish.”

  Chuckling, he skimmed his hand over her bare thigh. “They are in the store.”

  “I guess so. Are you hungry? I had a sandwich.”

  “Don’t worry. I can get it.”

  He picked her up and put her back down in the same spot, then headed into the kitchen. It was always neat as a pin, clean, sparkling. He knew part of it was because of her profession. May didn’t cook in the restaurant, but she was a tiger about keeping the kitchen clean.

  “How did your day go?” he asked as he stuck his head in the fridge to see what she had.

  She didn’t say anything at first, then, “Okay, your father came by to say hi.”

  Chuckling, he settled into making his dinner. “My father will always come in and say hi to you.”

  He thought he heard her sigh, but he might have been wrong. When he joined her in the living room, he settled beside her. “Do you want to do anything tonight? Both of us are off tomorrow.”

  She shook her head. “I have to go in. Someone came in with a rush order for a cake.”